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  • Was he just a Psychotic Boss ?

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    Old 01-28-2014, 12:39 AM   #1
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    Join Date: Dec 2010
    Location: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Us
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    ArcaneEpiphany HB User
    Was he just a Psychotic Boss ?

    A couple of months ago I temporarily worked at a small club while I attended school. The staff was helpful and kind at first and I really didn't foresee any issues occurring between us. It didn't take long until
    I started having fun there while on the job and occasionally I would attend events there on the weekends. I eventually met the owner. A guy on his mid 30s, who extremely nice, charming overly friendly and helpful in the beginning towards me, although I was a bit awkward around him. Deep down inside I felt there was something off about him but ignored it and focused on other things.

    The owner soon became really drawn to my charismatic and witty personality and would often verify conversatw with me before my shift started. But soon he became rather
    obsessed with me it seemed. Whenever I was off and near the club he would run up to me, almost smothering me. He would excitedly request that I come around his hangout more often, complain when he didn't and basically wanted me in his presence on a constant basis. I naturally thought it was odd but I figured he was just lonely when not working.

    We would go to other events we briefly had fun, but then he would leave two minutes later. When he said he just needed someone there for him when he wasn't working, I started to pull away a bit because he was becoming extremely clingy to where I couldn't socialize with anyone else while there. But as I did her personality started to do a 360 and drastically change.

    While at the club he would never bother the other staff but would physically bully random passerbyers (that either acted stupid or was being slightly reckless) in a rough manner and totally ignored those who pleaded for him to stop. Additionally he talked unmercifully behind others backs that came in and would engage with them with a huge fake smile. He was far to quick to judge, too analytical of others actions, would point out others flaws to people to make them uncomftorble and was closed minded.

    An example : When there were parties at the club during the weekend and the staff would play a 20question/Truth game and it would become my turn, I sometimes would say "pass" because the question was too personal. One time the owner shouted "Dumb Bomb, this is for our entertainment" (or something like that) . He often became extremely irritated and impatiens whenever I would provide yes or no answers or simply room a few minutes to respond and tell me in a angered tone to "Hurry Up!!!!".

    After I once told others that I was a vegetarian for a few years and cared about the environment, he overheard and seemed to be okay with it. But later while I was working he started taunting me and calling me and another person a "Hippy" . My response that made it obvious that I didn't care seemed to bother him and he proceeded to make more jokes.

    I was called a "Hipster" repeatedly by him after he overheard me receiving praise for my fashion style by other co-workers. He once taunted me because I wasn't a dancer that removed her clothing. I said I would never do that because I had respect for myself. He then told everyone that anything could be bought at a price.

    It never felt like he was actually TRYING to befriend me and he never said anything about what he was doing, etc, etc. An example : we briefly discussed music tastes. And I had revealed that I mainly listened to metal at the time. Shortly afterwards while I was working he public ally said that I listened to "Complicated Pop Music.". I knew he was trying to get a rise out of me so I just left the room while he laughed with some new people that came in.

    When we would get into tidbits at work he would become highly amused when I told him to " leave me alone" and after my witty counterattacks. Then say after laughing hysterically "She must really hate me now ". He always assumed this after publically humiliating me. And when I had said twice that I didn't hate him and that hating people took up too much energy, he would ignore me or immediately change the subject. I had once asked him why he wanted to being hated so much by others.....and as expected, he pretended that I didn't just ask him that and ignored me.

    It was around the time when I just started working at the club is when I moved into a small apt. At the time I couldn't afford a bunch of guys to help me set up so I invited him over and he helped and etc. (We were on okay terms then.) And of course I later regretted this when we were later talking about our residences again at a party and I had said that I moved again to a better place. He jokingly said that he should let me see it as a reward for helping me with set up my last residency. It was late and I just didn't care, so after the party, He showed me his place. He told me not to steal his things or steal his cats. He followed me and watched me like a criminal when touring the place. Afterwards I brought him to mine. (Biggggg mistake).

    When he entered mine, he immediately started complaining that it was cheap looking, ugly, etc, etc. When I had told him that I was paying less than him and was happy where I was, he seemed quite jealous and kind of snarled at me. He then proceeded to pick at how I arranged my furniture. And complained that there were too many boxes everywhere and that it was cramped. I basically defended my little place and then stepped out of the room to get something.

    Before I did, I told him not to touch anything, when I came back he changed a piece of furniture around and laughed at me when I tried to put it back in its original spot. He placed it back when HE wanted to and soon quickly left. I'm not one hundred percent on this, but I may have heard a picture being taken when I left the room but I'm not sure. Anyways, I learned my lesson on that one, there's no need to tell me I was a fool.

    The whole environment became toxic and felt like I wanted to burst with anger whenever I walked in. I felt that I was being betrayed by some of the staff. Nobody of would try to scold him after he would randomly verbally attack me and would actually stick up for him whenever I would call him out. It escalating to where he started physically bullying me like he had with others that he thought were "beneath" him. Whenever I was walking around by myself there he would nudge me out of the way or block me off belligerently whenever I would refuse to stand and take it. It was impossible to avoid him when I vowed to keep my distance.

    The guy seemed hellbent on making me miserable. And one of his friends seemed in on it too, I was approached numerous times by an arrogant middle aged programer that came to the club every now and then. He basically trolled me and taunted me about my work position there and tried to get into my business. I put on a brave face and tried to have fun until I found another better paying job and stopped hanging out there.

    I think the most comical thing that happened before detaching myself from that place was when after being laughed at at an event, I made it obvious that I was bothered by what he previously said, announced that "he would never apologize to anyone and that I'll just work around him" with a forced smile, stormed off, and he then approached me.

    He claimed that he really didn't want me to leave where he just was with everyone and said I was a "Fun Person." And after telling him that I basically wanted nothing to do with him anymore and was going to "Keep my Distance", he asked in a so called worried tone "Forever?". (I really do think he thought I was born yesterday, ughh) I just told him that he really didn't care and should drop the act.

    He eventually apologized and the next night he couldn't bring himself to even be cordial with me and greet me. Although it's been a few months and I've kind of moved on, a part of my mind keeps going back to the string of negative events that occurred.

    I guess I basically want to hear what others have to say I hopes that it will provide some type closure ? Thanks for reading.

    Last edited by Administrator; 01-28-2014 at 07:16 AM.

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