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  • Scared Of My Husband...

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    Old 01-31-2014, 08:03 PM   #1
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    Scared Of My Husband...

    Me and my husband have been together for 5 years and married almost 2... Recently I feel more afraid of him. He's always had a short tempter and has slammed doors, kicked doors down, punched walls, broken things, peeled out, ect. But I've always dealt with it because it was between us and no one else. Off topic I have really bad anxiety. One of my weak points is driving. I'm really scared to drive and the other day he mocked me and told me to drive. I told him you know I can't so he chuckled and started the car. He peeled out and went 50 mph in a 30 zone. He was passing stop signs and driving in the opposite lane and just basically giving me a good scare. I feel like I can't have an opinion or an emotion because he'll get mad. For 5 years I tip toe around what I say and I'm exhausted. I love him dearly and he has never hurt me but I feel as time passes it's escalating. Just tonight my mom tried to joke with him and I was terrified that he was going to do something to her from the facial expression he was giving her. I knew he wasn't but I feel like he is capable... I don't know what to do or if I'm just exaggerating or over thinking this. Someone please give me some guidance. Thank you.

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    Old 02-01-2014, 10:36 AM   #2
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    Re: Scared Of My Husband...


    No wonder you suffer anxiety!!...
    Your husband could well lose the plot and become abusive. He may not have harmed you yet but with his type of short temper it could happen and you could be in danger either to you in the home or someone on the road.
    I think you should both seek help from Marriage-Guidance and if he wont go then you should go on your own.
    You should not be treading on eggshells around him and if it was me I would have a good talk to him and let him know that if he doesn't control his temper then you are leaving him.
    If he wont co-operate then you should leave because you don't want to be on the receiving end of his temper,


    Old 02-01-2014, 03:21 PM   #3
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    Re: Scared Of My Husband...

    I am in the same situation,and have been for years, it doesn't get any better. My husband started about the same amount of time, then he would apologize. Now that I am older, he treats me worse then ever, tells me just about everything how much he hates me. I know you love him, I was the same way, but you have to realize they don't love you or they wouldn't treat you this way. They like to intimidate you, because they know that they have you where they want you. I would tell him I was leaving but never followed thru with it. I am so disappointed in myself that I let him treat me this way.

    Please get out before you spend anymore years with him. It will not get better.

    Last edited by Administrator; 02-01-2014 at 03:39 PM.

    Old 02-01-2014, 03:46 PM   #4
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    Re: Scared Of My Husband...

    He is a bully with a short fuse. The driving incident was abusive behaviour and a warning. If he can hurt you mentally like this, it is a tiny step to physical abuse. You are right to be worried. Listen to your instinct. I agree with Solofelix, insist on counseling or you will leave. He can control his temper - I bet he doesn't act this way at work, or while out with friends. Make him control it at home as well. Sera

    Old 03-14-2014, 12:35 PM   #5
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    Re: Scared Of My Husband...

    Your wrong your husband has hurt over and over again.Maybe not physically, but mentally every day he has hurt you.Sounds to me like he has some type of mental issues himself..Get out before you are hurt...

    Old 03-29-2014, 05:23 PM   #6
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    Re: Scared Of My Husband...

    abuse is more than just physical, he is mentally abusing you get out while you can , before you start believing its you and not him men like that no what buttons to push to hurt you and they also know how to make you feel at fault and have you apologizing for there actions . please take care and good luck to you and never believe that you are at fault don't let him do that to you he has done enough don't second guess yourself

    Old 12-29-2014, 06:20 PM   #7
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    Re: Scared Of My Husband...

    I am sorry to read that this is happening to you. You would be the one giving him a "good scare" by leaving him unexpectedly to protect yourself.
    What everyone has said is absolutely correct.
    I am in the same boat as you are. I wish I could get up enough strength to get my husband out of my life, so I cannot take my own advice apparently.

    Old 02-28-2015, 07:47 PM   #8
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    Re: Scared Of My Husband...

    Hi there,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're in such a situation. I have been there so I know how you must be feeling.

    I would suggest that you seek individual counseling first because you need a safe place to talk freely. Individual counseling, with the right counselor, will help you feel more empowered as you tap into your inner strength and learn more about what's actually going on in your situation.

    In my case, marriage counseling was not an option because I was afraid of the repercussions of talking in front of my ex-husband. I knew that, if I was honest about what was going on in a joint session, it would have meant retaliation for admitting things he wanted kept quiet. He had his own issues to deal with, which he refused to do. For things to work, both people have to want to change what's going on and my ex-husband was in complete denial that there was a problem.

    Focus on you, above all else; the more empowered you feel, the more able you can deal with whatever comes. If you gain an understanding of the dynamics of abuse, you can at least do what you have to in order to keep yourself safe.

    I wish you the strength you need to move forward.

    Take care!

    Last edited by Administrator; 03-02-2015 at 10:18 PM.

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