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susu8221 06-16-2014 08:24 AM

physical & sexual abuse
My aunt was diagnosed with AL over a year ago & my uncle is showing many signs of dementia (they are in their eighties). Their children suspected he has been physically abusing & raping her so they placed her in a facility, where my uncle is not allowed to visit her without a family member being with him (he tried). He has ranted all over town about the situation & wants her home, while she appears happy where she is. When he does get to visit, she becomes withdrawn & does not want him to touch her. My concern is that they have asked my 81 yr old mother (her sister) to move in with them so they can pacify Dad & bring their mother home. My mother has a lot of difficulty walking, cannot stand very long & cannot go up stairs, but she has agreed to this. I'm really not sure of her motive other than her inability to tell anyone no. By the way, she has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer & is scheduled for a lumpectomy. Plan is to have a nurse in 4 hours a day, but they expect her to be there at all other times so that my aunt is never alone with him. Also, he has exhibited violent behavior toward a resident at the LTC who kept trying to enter my au nt's room in her wheelchair by shoving the chair out of the room & telling her to "get out & stay out". Staff did not catch him. Lastly, my uncle has made an inappropriate comment to me....right after aunt entered facility he was telling me what a good wife she has been & "She likes sex every day". He told my sister he tried to rub lotion on my aunt's legs because he wanted them soft when he touched them when she came home & "I touch them a lot".

Pretty sure I have reason to be concerned for my Mom's safety. Any suggestions? I can't stop her if she's deter mined to do this.

sjb 09-26-2014 06:30 PM

Re: physical & sexual abuse
Greetings I am sorry about all this and want to welcome you to the Abuse Health Support boards. I am sure if she belonged to my family I would be informing about what I had heard and about all the risks. I would try to agree with her whenever she is correct, sympathize with her, approve of correct decisions she makes or things she does to help deepen the relationship with her to help keep her out of trouble. I hope this helps. :wave: Peace sjb

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