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  • Anyone else feel rage?

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    Old 12-13-2014, 11:13 AM   #1
    madredeus
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    Anyone else feel rage?

    Once you've realized the extent of the emotional and verbal abuse that you've allowed your partner to submit you to, do you become full of rage? Do you start flying off the handle and yelling and screaming too? Slamming things down? I have just realized how much my fiancé has been abusing me over the last few months, how manipulative and cunning he has been, and how often I have begged for forgiveness for things that I didn't need to ask for forgiveness for. At this point, I feel rage towards him. Rage towards all of his "funny jokes", his insults about my hobbies and the things that love, rage at the times he has yelled at me for messing something up, rage for never being able to bring up a problem. If I did bring up a problem, he would get angry and start accusing me of ruining what had started out to be such a good day. I am enraged that I let him watch some of the most disgusting porn in front of me because he needed it to get hard. I am an educated, bright, funny, cute woman in my 30's. I can't believe I let myself go through this.

    Last edited by madredeus; 12-21-2014 at 08:08 PM.

     
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    Old 12-14-2014, 11:20 AM   #2
    lenvegas
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    Re: Anyone else feel rage?

    Hi, you are an intelligent woman and I know you will figure out what is best for you in the long run. It is very difficult to leave an abuser because they manipulate your emotions to the point where you sometimes blame yourself for their behavior. If and when you leave this relationship you need to be careful never to let him back in your life. When an abuser loses control over his victim more likely than not he will beg, plead and promise to be a new man but never let him back in your life because eventually you will be right back in the same place. Stay strong.....

     
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    Old 01-05-2015, 04:49 PM   #3
    Moldova
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    Re: Anyone else feel rage?

    Did i hear you right? Fiance?
    How did you let it get this far? Why? What pushes a normal, smart woman to even know someone like this, forget dating?
    Why women stay in such dangerous relationships? Relationships where they disrespected, abused, and used instead of a doormat. Why?

    You know it'wrong, then what is so special about abuser who has zero respect to you that you, beautiful, smart, young woman agreed to be treated so poorly?
    You know people don't change but this guy will change for sure: from bad to worse.
    I believe you have run, until it'not too late.

    Love yourself, sweetie and remember one thing: people treat us the way we let them to...

    Best of luck to you,
    Moldova

     
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    Old 01-05-2015, 06:15 PM   #4
    Seraph
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    Re: Anyone else feel rage?

    Your anger is healthy. All the anger at his behaviour that you suppressed for the sake of peace is now free. It will pass. Write a journal and keep it up to look back on and you will see what has gone on. Write a letter to him (not necessarily to send) telling him off for all the ways he abused you and put you down, and place the angry feelings here with each incident. Then remind yourself of your freedom and the lessons about yourself that you have learned from this experience. Direct anger where it belongs not into yourself. You were taken in but anyone can be in your position. It often takes a while to really recognise abuse and these people are very skilful at keeping you reeled in, using love-bo bombing to get you back on side if they sense you starting an independent thought. Use relaxation techniques when you feel angry "for no reason" and recognise what triggers these feelings. Sera

     
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