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Would you try online dating if photos never show your acne?

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Old 06-27-2003, 10:16 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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jen56 HB User
Talking Would you try online dating if photos never show your acne?

I am pretty outgoing, but realized a long time ago that i am not going to meet someone at a bar, plus I dont really want to meet them there. THe tone is so superficial and a lot of people are just out for a piece....

Anyway, I have tried on line dating before and it was pretty fun and met some great friends, but that was before the cysts and scars.

You cant see them in pics and I dont really want to bring them up, becuase if the other person didnt care, my bringing it up shows a total lack of self confidence.

So would you guys go on a date with someone from a dating site, especially if they saw your picture and cant tell about the way it looks in person? I am a little nervous it could really be humbling.

Take care!!
Some friends are for us,
some friends are with us,
and some friends need you.
I hope you have enough friends to make you happy!! Thanks for all of your advice.

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Old 06-27-2003, 10:45 AM   #2
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 316
backtomyoldself HB User

Do not let acne stop you from joining online dating. Sure your photos don't show your acne, but why does it matter? If the person you meet liked you in the photo and disliked you in person (coz of acne) then be thankful that you got to see the real him (superficial). You don't need jerks like that.

I have not tried online dating, I just don't feel comfortable with it. But I have experienced guys admiring me from afar coz they can't see my acne, but once they see me upclose, they change their minds. Ah well, it used to bother me a lot...but I have learned to look at it in a positive way, they are not worth my time of the day with their attitudes.

Old 06-27-2003, 11:05 AM   #3
Join Date: Mar 2002
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xKaShyLahx HB User

I have a guy friend online who's seen my picture. It's looks so flawless and beautiful. When he first seen me his initial reaction was ''Whoa! ur BEAUTIFUL'' and couldn't believe i had such a low self esteem and lacked confidence (he doesn't know i have acne). Anyways i've know him for years but i've yet to meet him b/c he's from London (2 hrs from me) and im from B'ham. I am going to meet him one day but i keep putting it off b/c of acne. I know he likes me for who i am and probably won't care if i had acne, but its a chance im not going to take...

Sorry that this doesn't help much i just wanted to share my experience


Old 06-27-2003, 11:18 AM   #4
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daylight568 HB User

I'm going through online dating right now but I don't see what difference it makes what you look like as it seems all they ever want to do is talk and then forget about you anyway.And even when it seems their interested in you they really aren't.I might as well have 100 zits on my face.

Old 06-27-2003, 11:24 AM   #5
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too old for this HB User

I have to be honest here: I didn't put myself out there, so to speak, on the dating scene until my face cleared up 90%. I felt so bad about myself that I couldn't imagine someone else liking me. I knew that my acne wasn't THAT bad, and I was getting some admiring looks from guys, but I was still embarrassed and preferred to hide behind a mask of indifference rather than reveal myself and my flaws to someone.

I hate the bar scene, too. So when my face improved, and when I had enough of being lonely, I started answering online personals. Not putting my own picture up, just answering. The second guy I wrote to wrote back. After some correspondence I sent him my picture. He was like, "Wow, you're so pretty!" We met and hit it off well. Funny thing is, he had acne -- not bad, but somewhat noticeable -- but it didn't bother me.

Long story short, we've been together for almost three years. There have been some bumps in the road, yes, but that's a different story for a different board. ;>

I can't say what's right for everyone. Some people want to get clear before they date; others can just go for it regardless of what their face looks like. Maybe I'm just vain, I don't know.

Old 06-27-2003, 11:33 AM   #6
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jen56 HB User

Dr sheldon,

What do you mean that they only pretend to be interested or talk for a while and then disappear?
Was this when you were chatting online or on the phone or in person?

I do think that online dating is somewhat like real life in that sometimes you are gonna meet jerks and other times you will meet guys that are great. Maybe not great to date, but at least to be friends with.

My bottom line is that i dont want to seem deceitful by posting a picture that makes me appear to be very pretty. I am extremely photogenic and dont look this good in real life, and yes other people have told me that. I do have nice features but my skin sucks...Oh well, I guess if they like me they do , if they dont **** them.

[This message has been edited by jenfen56 (edited 06-27-2003).]

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Old 06-27-2003, 11:37 AM   #7
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daylight568 HB User

I would rather have a guy not see me on a good (acne-free) day but on an average day where I might have a small breakout.It avoids having to worry about being seen with a breakout in the future cause they've already seen it.I'm sure though the day I have a Super bad breakout will probably be the day a guy finally wants to meet me and I would not want to be seen in a really BAD breakout.Thats the way it always happens though.

Old 06-27-2003, 12:07 PM   #8
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 63
Lyndsey HB User

Good question!
I would love to do OL dating, but because of my acne and low self-esteem, I do no dating at all.

Old 06-27-2003, 01:49 PM   #9
Join Date: Mar 2001
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Girlie19 HB User

xKaShyLahx you soung like me except I told my friend I have really bad acne. He wants to meet me but I keep putting it off. Every time I bring the acne up he's like, "I'm sure is very mild don't worry about it". Ugh, some guys don't listen lol!

Some guys are also blind! I was sitting in class one day during midterms. It was early morning, I didn't sleep all night (which makes your acne look 10x worse), didn't have time to wash my face or put any makeup on, I put my hair up in a ponytail, put really ugly clothes on. Then I put glasses on to see the board... lol. A guy in front of me kept turning around and smiling and then he asked me out after class!! I looked hideous that day! I have moderate acne by the way.

Old 06-27-2003, 04:27 PM   #10
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chopstix_gal HB User

i used to wear a ton of makeup to cover my acne. I was SUPREMELY self conscious but never acted like it. i've never had a problem meeting guys and some guys commented that i wore a lot of makeup, but they never seemed put off when they realized how i looked w/o it. realistically, looks do matter in the beginning, but only to a certain extent. your self esteem and confidence, other quality characteristics will shine though and those are the things that will truly intrigue someone in the long run. what if you have acne for 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years? who knows how long u will have it..but live for now and you might be pleasantly surprised. lol..maybe you will meet someone who is thinking the same thing as you.

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