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  • Never do What I did...I am screwed now!!

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    Old 09-11-2003, 11:49 AM   #1
    jen56
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    Angry Never do What I did...I am screwed now!!

    I should have just left well enough alone. My skin was doing pretty good but I wanted to get rid of lingering bumps and smooth out my skin.

    So I tried B5-huge mistake for me because I got a cyst. It is rare for me to get one (about one a year) so it could be coincidence on this one. I stopped using it however.

    BUT WHAT WAS HORRIBLE was as an experiment i tried using the acne cure and substituting retina. Never do this. My face had a terrible reaction and I got blisters and scabs everywhere. My face was so upset that I got three huge cysts in a week, but no other bumps!!!

    The cysts are terrible and wont go away. i have used prescription cortisone cream for 2 weeks and have been taking bactrim(sulfur drug) and nothing is helping.

    one of my cysts is near my eye and has swollen to the size of A QUARTER!!! It is causing my eye to swell shut.

    I went to the derm and they gave me a cortisone shot in the arm, but it didnt help either. The last injection that cleared directly into the cyst left me with a saucer like scar. SO if i get it injected, no more pain, but big sunken in scar.

    I am so upset and i dont know what to do. My face is killing me and the things that doctor is doing are not helping at all. He wants me to continue using the cortisone cream, although the medicine itself causes thinning of the skin and can cause scarring if used for more than a week. I just dont know what to do.

    It seems like I am allergic to BP and possibly sacylic acid as well as my face is so sensitive, but if BP would help a cyst I would try it. I work in a public speaking type of format and I have to wear two big bandages to keep the pus from the cysts running down my face.

    And by the way, never listen to any of my posts anymore. I always sit here spitting out how to be positive when your acne is bad, but I can only say that when mine is not as bad as usual. It had been good for a while so I was positive and thought hey guys it isnt so bad. I spoke too soon.

    Now it is horrible and i can see how some people talk about wanting to die etc. No, I still can walk etc, but I believe that life is not important for life's sake, but it is the quality of life that matters. AND MY quality sucks, I dont want to leave the house, i am lonely, i am embarrassed at my job, and worst of all I am in constant pain. MY life has been pretty much this way for 10 years. I dont see it getting any better either.

    I guess I have always been hopeful for divine intervention, but lots of people suffer with debilitating diseases their entire lives. Why do I think I will be so lucky to get over this?

    I wish that I had never been born, because this is turning out to be a wasted life. I have so much love, sensitivity, exitement and fun inside of me that could be used for good purpose on this planet, but the outside shell won't let me accomplish anything.

    Oh and if you have some type of comment like you are so vain or you need to get over it- I DONT NEED TO HEAR IT. So what maybe i want to appear attractive or at least just ordinary. For that matter, I just wish I was invisible, not the subject of conversation when I pass by.( and it does happen) I wish I was a better person, strong enough to feel confident when I look like MEdussa, but I am not. I am only human and imperfect with an imperfect face.


    And yes I am luckier than alot of people, but then again there are people that are a lot luckier than me. And here we get bashed for being upset about our faces and then told that we are vain. Well vainity must not count much in the eyes of god(if you believe) or for karmas sake, when perfectly beautiful people are constantly having cosmetic surgery to become more beautiful.

    And then they are more beautiful, I dont see them crying like i am. Beauty is not everything, but just to feel confident about the way you look is important, not vain. I think every person needs to feel confident about their appearance, not necessarily beautiful, but confident. AND i guess I am never going to achieve this because i always have huge boils on my face.

    And then i give words of advice to people on here and tell them to seek psychological help. Well i am full of ****. I am not crazy, I am just tired of waking up and being in pain and wanting to hide from the world. I should know that a million psychologists arent going to change that. I have seen a million and some how they just cant convince me to feel happy when I have cysts filled with pus. I just dont feel positive then. They may have encouraged me to think of other things besides killing myself, so insteas i just take tylenol pm and sleep all the time. I just cant wait for the next 50 years of my life...jk!

    So next time i dole out some words of wisdom, just tell me to shut the hell up.

    [This message has been edited by jenfen56 (edited 09-11-2003).]
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    Old 09-11-2003, 12:01 PM   #2
    Product_Queen
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    Well, I am sorry for what u are going through...At least u have 1 cyst the size of a quarter but on my good days I have around 5 :-( But I still don't think that people who spend their lives in hospitals are better off than me...It does make me sad but what can u do??? I am still trying to do my best to clear it up...In the meantime why waste the days on earth that I am given?? And this is how I feel on a bad day....3 active cysts and 2 drying ones...Not to mention the regular ones that I don't even pay attention to anymore....

     
    Old 09-11-2003, 12:15 PM   #3
    jen56
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    Thanks product queen, i just wish i knew someone else in my every day life that suffers with this. It is hard to feel like you are all alone and no one gets it, plus no one will sit in the house with me.

    And i do feel luckier than people trapped in a hospital or in iraq or in many parts of africa, I am just saying that my quality of life isnt good at all because I am so unhappy. Maybe if I was a stronger person i would react differently. But i just cant take it for some reason.

    I hope that your cysts go away, I just wish they would put more active study into cysts. My derm just told me yesterday that they still dont understand them that well. I mean how many billions of dollars are spent on acne treatments, but cysts are less common so they dont worry about it as much.

    Plus I freak out when i get a cyst because over the past six years, I have never had an irritated cyst go away. I have had 15 surgeries in the past years to remove them. I really am a sight to see.

    Anyhow thanks, it puts things in perspecitve a little. I am just glad that you didnt try to make me feel worse!!
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    Old 09-11-2003, 12:38 PM   #4
    sedulous
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    Beauty is nothing, it fades, but confidence is everything, and it sounds to me like you definitely wish you had more confidence, and didn't much care if you weren't some supermodel convention of attractiveness.

    I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Yes, there are ppl out there that have worse things going on, but their worse predicaments certainly don't make you feel any better about what's going on in your life in the here and now.

    Maybe it's time to give all the treatments and rest. Sebum is actually designed to keep our skin moist, elastic, healthy and clean, and in our battle to eliminate it, and bacterian, we forget that sebum is actually necessary. So are so forms of bacteria, etc.

    Just b/c you are having problems with your skin doesn't mean every post you've made has been crap. You offered the best of what you knew to ppl in similar situations.

    Try and relax. Our skin never ever ever ever ever gets better when we are well and truly obsessed over it, and upset over every last pore. I know it's hard NOT to obsess when you're skin is acting up so much, but try and meditate or exercise, or find a way to take your mind off things. I know it sounds crazy, but have you ever considered trying just a simple cleanser and moisturizer?

    I really hope things get better for you soon.

     
    Old 09-11-2003, 01:20 PM   #5
    wicketglen7
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    you said that very well sedulous!
    YOu should try epsom salt compresses. They work reallyl well and are very cheap. Just add it into or substitute it. It works great for inflammation adn swelling and the redness (cuz it is swollen and inflammed)

     
    Old 09-11-2003, 07:52 PM   #6
    froe
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    Plz don't start breaking down now. This forum, even though we are ONLY STRANGERS to each other, has been like a FAMILY TO ME. Don't tell us to ignore your posts, because i've read your previous posts and you've become A GREAT HELP to many people here although you may not know it. Although I am only A STRANGER TO YOU, i say the BIGGEST SINCERITY OF THE DEEPEST OF MY HEART, that you are a GREAT PERSON. I KNOW THE WAY EXACTLY YOU FEEL so I would never call you vain or tell you to get over it, but I want you to CONTINUE TO BE STRONG. plz TAKE CARE.

     
    Old 09-11-2003, 11:32 PM   #7
    GTI
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    i know the way u feel. how many times do i wish i could turn back time cause i was too greedy. i jinx myself and say nothing could be worst than this. of course, the next thing i do wrecks my skin to a new level. now, what i do is just learn:

    1. I am not born pretty.
    2. I have bad skin and looking not as bad is good enough for me.

    also, please think in terms of scarring. i could care less how long a mark stays on my face. those indented scars are there for a much longer time.

     
    Old 09-12-2003, 12:38 AM   #8
    joeh
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    im kinda getting worried. im on my 11 month on spiro and most users are saying that after awhile it stops working.i had a thermage done too and it suppose to shrink ur oil glands.if spiro quit working i might switch to another anti-androgen.i know how all u guys and girls feel!!!!!jenfen u can come over to my house anytime. im really a pretty nice guy but i hate acne too cause it kinda ruined my life too.and i would rather be over in iraq fighting if i had a choice of that or acne.i have social phobia too.i know acne has something to do with hormones.they have to do more research with this.i figure i havnt got much to live for other than to help out other like me.i'll be a human guinia pig.i have no fear of dying anymore.if i have to be a transexual to keep my skin clear i will. i just dont care anymore.i just enjoy my skin at least for now its clear.i swear if my acne comes back im gonna o d on pills,cause i have about had it too with this ******.acne sucks!!!!!!!!!

     
    Old 09-12-2003, 11:15 AM   #9
    jen56
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    LOL!! Joeh I surely hope that you dont have to become a transexual to get rid of your acne. I want mine to be gone but i dont think I could go that route.

    Thanks for the responses guys, it just sucks. I try to explain how i feel to my friends and they just think i am overreacting. And in a way i am, but i just had to break down and tell my friends yesterday to call me and tell me not to sweat it when they have big cysts on their face. I said " You guys forget who I am sometimes. You say to me that you are so upset when you have one zit. Then you turn around and tell me I shouldnt be upset. But you have one zit and it will go away, you have no idea what it is like to have zits that NEVER go away.

    Oh and someone mentioned in their post about scars. I am very worried about this but as I said I have long scars all over my face from the removal of cysts. I have terrible indentations from cortisone injections. So the only real reason i even freak out about a cyst is that i dont want to have surgery again. I mean this is ridiculous, the doctor is just like I am sorry.

    I mean how can I have each one removed. I should just go to hollywood to become a horror story character. They wouldnt even have to use makeup. Look for me starring as Pin Head in the New Hellraiser movie...so sad is me.

    But i have another question : IF you guys have had injections from cortisone and it left a depression how long before it filled in again?

    How long does BP take to reduce a cyst? Does it make it bigger?

    Thanks again!! I swear I wish that i was a doctor and then i could possibly research these stupid things.
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    Old 09-12-2003, 03:40 PM   #10
    ~Cansu~
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    Hi jenfen56,

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Mine were never bad enough to get them injected or removed. They would go away but it would take months. On the other hand, my aunt used to get the type you described when she was younger. She had to get them removed instead of getting cortison shots. I can see how hard this can be for you.

    Have you ever tried any other medication? You must be scared of medications after all this bad experiences but did your derm prescribe anything else besides Bactrim and cortisone cream? What about Accutane?

    [This message has been edited by ~Cansu~ (edited 09-12-2003).]

     
    Old 09-12-2003, 03:43 PM   #11
    wannabeU
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    Cool

    reading your post made me sad. it reminded me of myself. i am for the most part done with that stage of my life. here is what i have discovered at 26 years:
    *pray when need help, forget that you may sound vain.

    *wash your face only in morning with a liquid soap(no solid soaps they clog with their residues)

    *at night don't wash, it will irritate face,use about 3 oxy pads and just wipe away dirt and makeup.(washing twice warped me and sadly it took me this long to realize that it wasn't that i had a dirty face)

    *drink a glass of red wine every once in a while with a couple squares of "real" chocolate.

    *don't eat high salt or high sugar foods that much

    *water bites! but drink it anyway.
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    Old 09-12-2003, 10:29 PM   #12
    VoodooQueen
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    WannabeU,

    it's true that water bites and is not really tasty. I used to think that...until a few weeks ago, I was too broke to buy juice or pop, coffee, any kinda beverage. I had to drink water at home, bring water to school, drink water at work (although they have free tea and coffee at work, but i stay to stay away from the caffeine).

    The funny thing is now, i'm like addicted to it. I don't even think twice about it now, when i'm thirsty, i go straight for water.

    Think about it now, you go to the restaurant, you save yourself about 3-4 bucks by drinking water!

    When you do the grocery, save yourself the 10-20 bucks you spend on juice or pop, and get yourself a treat, or more food. When you get home, and there's nothing else, you'll be glad that you wereonly left with water.

    However, i find that tap water makes me break out big time, even filtered water. I usually boiled the water and then refrigerate it.

    I know this is off topic, but i thought i'd mention how my misery (having absolutely no money) turned into something beneficial for me.

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    Old 09-13-2003, 11:33 AM   #13
    wannabeU
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    Voodoqueen.
    i have never heard of reg. tap water being the cause of a breakout on anyone. i will certainly watch for this more when i drink it. i have been drinking water all my life and my only real reason for it is because i am trying to keep my teeth in good condition. it works too, i have never had a cavity. i don't like soda and never have because it seems to robust for my taste buds. my weakness is juice which is overly sweetened too. as i am growing older i am tired of water, but i guess it will have to do. i have seen some change with my face when i stick to water (even tap). i don't know this is all crazy. thanks for the reply though. -wannabeU
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    Old 09-13-2003, 06:53 PM   #14
    jenguard82
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    In my opinion water has really helped to clear up my face. It's when I eat or drink anything with sugar I break out and around my period. I hate that because I love to eat cookies and I love ice cream. But I haven't eaten those things in about 6 months. Sometimes we have to sacrifice for clear skin, although I must say mine is not clear. Acne sucks!

     
    Old 09-14-2003, 08:30 PM   #15
    Honeychild
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    Hi Jenfen

    I think I use to converse with you on this board ages and ages ago. I think you had a ddifferent name then as I did. I was spouting the benefits of rosehip oil for scarring, remmber?

    Anyway, if I get a bad pimple (and yes, sometimes cysts) the only thing that works for me and stops me having to go onto antibiotics again, is RAW GARLIC. I know it sounds gross, but what would you prefer? Garlic breath (which u can get rid of or a big zit on your face?)

    Garlic takes care of the infection, and reduces the bump. As your acne sounds severe at the mmoment, I would eat as much raw garlic with food as I can. Believe me, the next day, I have noticed a reduction in inflammation of the bump. Its smaller.

    Also take zinc in high doses till you get the cysts under control. And when I say high, i mean high. Like 80 mg of elemental zinc.

    Also vitamin c to increase the healing.

    NO SUGAR, NO JUNK FOOD, NO DAIRY.

    You guys should take a look at Walt Stoll's protocol for gettng acne under control. I use to be on this board for my acne, but since going there I hardly have any acne problem at all. Actually from following his protocol, which includes essential fatty acids to thin the sebum so it doesnt clog pores, exercise, meditation etc. Its not hard work at all, and not only will your skin love it, but so will your health later on in life. Sure its great to think of our skin and how clear and health we want it, but think of the good its doing our body for later onin life.

    Hope this helps you.

    OH, the raw garlic thing. at least for you jen, I would take 6-8 raw garlic cloves a day. Crush it over your food, put it in a stirfry on your plate with rice if you like. I often find a piece of grilled salmon with lemon disguises the garlic taste.

    for garlic breath, you can take chlorophyll, or chew on a parsely sprig, or chew ona clove. RAW garlic is the only thing that has worked on severe acne for me!

    GOOD LUCK!

     
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