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    Old 04-27-2001, 10:53 PM   #1
    ClearNoMore
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    Acne and Dating

    Just out of curiosity, has acne and the scarring affected anyones dating life? My friends want to set me up with their mutual friend who has seen my picture and thought I was pretty, but I am terrified of his expression when he sees my scarring!! Nothing like the fear of rejection to keep you from a possibly fulfilling relationship! Anyways, anyone else experience this timidity and wanna share their story........

     
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    Old 04-27-2001, 11:45 PM   #2
    minimouse
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    There is a guy who has seen my pictures and he thought I was pretty but I'm afraid to meet him because of my scars. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif"> I gotta make up my mind soon though.. arg......

     
    Old 04-28-2001, 12:43 AM   #3
    Outkast1999
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    u think that's bad... i started dating two different girls over the past two years while i was on accutane (and clear) and then after i got off, and broke out again, i had them both break up with me... i guess thats what i get for dating sterotypical superficial sorority *****es (yes they both are)... and now that im almost clear again, im not even looking for a relationship (at least not from the girls i know) for fear that they'll "want to see other people" if i break out again... ahh, the joys of acne <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif">... maybe someday ill find a girl that isnt superficial AND that im attracted too..

     
    Old 04-28-2001, 01:11 AM   #4
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    Hi, clearnomore and minimouse, I am just wondering what kind of scarring you both have. Hyperpigmentation marks or ice pick?

    Don't feel so insecure! Some people with great skin may not look half as good as you both do with the little scarring. Go out and have fun!

     
    Old 04-28-2001, 01:55 AM   #5
    Bella2001
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    Clearnomore and minimouse,

    I COMPLETELY know how you feel. I used to hide from situations where I thought guys would not accept me either because of my scarring. I turned down many dates and opportunities because I was scared and insecure. Through the years as I got older and wiser, I finally accepted that my skin is never going to be perfect and I had to live my life and stop hiding. If a guy did not like me for my whole package, then you have to think -- he is not worth your time anyways! But think about the guys who will accept you completely for everything you are and everything you look like...they are out there and you could miss out on the opportunity if you don't take that chance. And it is a chance...you are risking a possible blow to your self-esteem (like we need any more), and if that happens, as difficult as it is, you shake it off and keep going. The only way we start to regain control of our lives is if we stop living in fear. So go on that date and see what could be waiting for you...you never know until you try! Good luck. bella

     
    Old 04-28-2001, 10:36 AM   #6
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    Thanks Guys, I feel a lot better and its so nice to know that there are others out there who do the same thing I do (avoiding situations where I could get rejection). As for the type of scarring, I am not sure how to describe it, its definatly indented but its not little round holes. They are a little bigger and flat. Ive asked so many times on a few message boards to tell me the difference in the severity of scars w/no replies so I am not sure what they would be called. And to the girl who needs to do something quick...ME TOO. I have been talking to the guy since sept 00 and its already April 01 so my time is running short. I am lucky Ive been able to sting him along in hopes my skin would clear up.. Hes they type of guy that you would look at and call him a pretty boy and needless to say, hes really hot and that makes him really intimidating to me....Thanks for the support. You guys are the greatest!!

     
    Old 04-28-2001, 03:47 PM   #7
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    I know what you mean. I have a tendency to unconsciously try to alienate people (women who are OBVIOUSLY interested in me) out of a fear of rejection. Logically, I know there is absolutely NOTHING constructive about this. It's ironic: I find myself rejecting fine women on dates out of fear that they'll eventually reject me....

    -G

     
    Old 04-28-2001, 06:04 PM   #8
    sillygirl
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    YES! Over the years, I've found that I've built this wall around myself and I subconciously reject people before they have a chance to reject me. It's silly, it really is, and I'm starting to will myself to stop doing it. But it's been a long process...

     
    Old 04-28-2001, 06:16 PM   #9
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    I wouldn't care if a girl had acne scars or not. I'm not going to lie and say I wouldn't notice, but after a while it doesn't seem like a bad thing. Think of all the physical things you first noticed about your friends. After you get to know them you just don't notice if they have acne or fillings or a peirced nose. You have to realize that people don't necessarily see you the way you see yourself in the mirror.

     
    Old 04-29-2001, 12:17 AM   #10
    babs777
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    Yes I've experienced the same thing. I've turned down 3 dates in the past 2 months beacause I was insecure about my acne. I keep giving them some excuse, and telling them "maybe next weekend" (in hopes that it will go away in a week). I'm sure they are beginning to think I'm just fickle and give up on me. I know I'm missing out on great things, and am ready to just go ahead do it anyway....if they are that shallow and dont like me beacuse of my acne......they're not someone I would like to know anyway. (:

     
    Old 04-29-2001, 06:01 AM   #11
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    I know how everyone feels, I find even with friends and generally when I have a particualry bad day with acne I can't look people in the eye and I try and hide my face when talking let alone facing let alone a female you really like, it really is just as bad a social problem as it is a skin problem. But think how great it is that you know pretty quickly if a guy or gal is superficial when normally you might never find out for ages. With acne you can judge character well <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

    Pete

     
    Old 04-29-2001, 08:23 AM   #12
    couldbebetter
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    I remember when I first started dating my ex-boy last november my face started getting bad. Then I would walk so he couldn't look at my face, and I'd avoid him. I wouldn't let anyone look directly at me, just at the side of my face if they had to. And I still won't let anyone look directly at my face for that long. This is really hard because when he'd go to kiss my cheeck or something I wouldn't let him. And he would always say he wanted to look in my eyes, but I wouldn't let him do that either, it really hurt us in the long run.

     
    Old 04-30-2001, 01:56 AM   #13
    gwle
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    Did acne and acne scarring mess up my dating/romantic life?? Put it this way, I have no dating life!! Oh hell, I barely have a social life anymore as it is! The funny thing is, it's not what other's think that affects me, it's what I think of my self that does! Right now, I really don't want to be around anybody or even be seen. When my face was mostly clear and alright, I was so outgoing. Now, my confidence has dropped so low and I've become a hermit again! I rarely look people in the eye anymore or look down when speaking to someone.

     
    Old 04-30-2001, 09:28 PM   #14
    college_dude
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    YES, I just totally don't feel like even asking a girl out when my face is broken out with acne. I lose all my self esteem, and become a totally different person. When I have a bad breakout, I just want to stay in my apartment and hide from the world sometimes because I look so bad. Several times, I have actually skipped classes because my face was so bad, I did not want people I know to see me. A couple of weeks ago, it looked like I had the chickenpox, my forehead was broken out so bad with cystic acne. When I did go out on campus, I put on a baseball cap, and pulled it down low over my forhead so nobody would see. The worst part is that I am in my mid 20s, and I have had acne since I was 13. I am not supposd to have acne anymore.<p>[This message has been edited by college_dude (edited 04-30-2001).]

     
    Old 04-30-2001, 10:19 PM   #15
    ClearNoMore
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    Re: Acne and Dating

    Gwle,

    I know exactly what you mean! The worst part is that I know I would be adorable if it went for these scars! The "What If" questions are torture......

     
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