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  • Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

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    Old 11-23-2003, 12:05 AM   #1
    GrouchyOne
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    Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    Hi,

    I just wanted to say hi and say that it feels good to find a group of people that can understand what I am going through. I am 31 and was recently diagnosed with ADD. For years, I always thought that I was a failure because I couldn't do things that everyone else could. I have a great job and lots of great friends but, my procrastination, my inability to focus when needed, and my impulsivity were destroying my self esteem; I honestly thought that I must be an idiot because I couldn't control these things, even though it appeared that everyone else around me could.

    Probably like a lot of you, I grew up hearing about how much "potential" I had but, how it was a shame that I was "too lazy" to realize this "potential". I had good marks in school, and was able to grasp ideas faster than people around me but, for reasons I didn't understand at the time, I was constantly being passed over for promotions. One supervisor told me that I was brilliant but, my lack of attention to detail would result in the premature end of my career! It was maddening because no matter how much or how hard I tried, I couldn't focus long enough to do things properly or on time.

    For the longest time, I wanted to be "normal". Every time I was with a group of people, I would feel like an outsider; I might blurt out something, or I might spaceout and these things would result in everyone around me looking at me like I was from another planet. Eventually, I learned to conform to what everyone expected of me but, at the end of each day, I would be so drained from maintainning this façade that I would be completely out of it. For years, I couldn't figure out why I couldn't do these simple things that everyone else around me could and was ashamed of myself.

    Since I was diagnosed last month, I have been taking Effexor and Dexydrene. I'm starting Wellbutron today and I'm noticing some changes. Reading your posts here gives me hope because now I realize that I'm not alone. When I tell people close to me of my ADHD, many tell me that "I do the same things so I must also have ADD! *in a sarcastic tone*". It's tough because most people still think that ADHD only affects children and that ADHD doesn't exist in adults. Seeing other people here talking about how they cope gives me hope that one day I'll be able to live a relatively normal life. So, please keep posting and sharing your stories; you never know who you may inspire with your everyday successes!

     
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    Old 11-27-2003, 10:33 AM   #2
    free~spirit
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    Smile Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    Hi!! It's great that you found this place. What's your most dreadful ADHD symptom? What's a trait of your ADHD that you're most proud of?

    Good things to think about....

    I was always the wierd crazy but fun kid in school. I was always doing mischevious things but never got caught. Some people definantly thought I was strange but I didn't really care lol.

     
    Old 11-28-2003, 01:17 PM   #3
    GrouchyOne
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    I got lucky in school...up until university. I was always getting good grades without trying in high school and developed bad habits as a result...or so I thought at the time. Suffered the university wall syndrome where all my marks dropped by 10 - 15%. I managed to turn things around by third year but, by that time, I screwed up my GPA so badly that it didn't make any sense going for my Masters. I've been lucky in the past, and present, to wind up in jobs that take advantage of my positive ADD traits, like my ability to think laterally, and to analyze critically, but my ability to analyze is also probably my biggest problem.

    I'm one of these people that can get so totally absorbed in something that I can forget to go to sleep or eat for a day or two. Sometimes, this can be good but, more recently, I've been analyzing the negative moments in my life, namely my last relationship. Imagine living through your most emotionally draining failed relationship over and over again until you feel like you will go nuts. The night of the big black out in August is what pushed me into therapy; living alone and without anything to distract my mind, I all of a sudden started analyzing what happened and tried to figure out what went wrong... For two days I couldn't stop thinking about the two guys (at least the ones I found out about) she cheated on me with, the constant emotional and verbal abuse, and her nasty habit of contradicting herself and accusing me of mishearing her... and I finally broke down. My best attribute, my ability to analyze, is also my worst enemy.

    So what would you say are yours?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by free~spirit
    Hi!! It's great that you found this place. What's your most dreadful ADHD symptom? What's a trait of your ADHD that you're most proud of?

    Good things to think about....

    I was always the wierd crazy but fun kid in school. I was always doing mischevious things but never got caught. Some people definantly thought I was strange but I didn't really care lol.

     
    Old 11-28-2003, 04:44 PM   #4
    free~spirit
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    I always got good grades in school too.

    My main problem I'd say is being too hyper. At times it's really fun to be hyper but sometimes its kinda inapropriate. Because of this it makes it hard for me to attend activities like church, any type of support group, meetings for work/school and stuff like that.

    What I love most about my ADHD is my creativity/imagination and also the deep understanding and care I have for others. I have always had a great imagination, I love art of all kinds. I think this kind of ties into the understanding of others that I have. I can read a poem or look at a piece of artwork and I actually FEEL the meaning of it. I have a deep respect for everyone and I am more empathetic towards others than most people.

    A triat that is somewhat good/somewhat bad goes with my ODD is that I am never afraid to stand up for myself or others against a figure of power. Of course sometimes I can go overboard lol.

     
    Old 11-28-2003, 10:43 PM   #5
    GrouchyOne
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    I'm sort of like that as well. My psychiatrist says that I might a little too empathetically sensitive as I actually feel/live other people's pain. It's great for poetry, and being a consellor, and helping people but, at the same time, I can't watch some comedies like JackAss or Something About Mary because I actually cringe when I see someone embarassing themselves.

    I don't know; it seems like I'm an extreme case in that I experience both extremes when it comes to my symptoms.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by free~spirit
    I always got good grades in school too.

    My main problem I'd say is being too hyper. At times it's really fun to be hyper but sometimes its kinda inapropriate. Because of this it makes it hard for me to attend activities like church, any type of support group, meetings for work/school and stuff like that.

    What I love most about my ADHD is my creativity/imagination and also the deep understanding and care I have for others. I have always had a great imagination, I love art of all kinds. I think this kind of ties into the understanding of others that I have. I can read a poem or look at a piece of artwork and I actually FEEL the meaning of it. I have a deep respect for everyone and I am more empathetic towards others than most people.

    A triat that is somewhat good/somewhat bad goes with my ODD is that I am never afraid to stand up for myself or others against a figure of power. Of course sometimes I can go overboard lol.

     
    Old 11-29-2003, 12:24 AM   #6
    HumanSpirit
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    What was your field of study? I question that ADHD exists.

     
    Old 11-29-2003, 05:48 AM   #7
    GrouchyOne
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    Field of study? Well, I always had a problem keeping focused. I started off thinking that I would go for my MBA and I would take the necessary prerquisite courses. I didn't do so well in the calculus course and I definitely could have done better in my Advanced Bus Admin courses, so I decided to look at Law instead. I really bombed in second year so I decided to just finish my history degree and cut my losses. After that I tried to go for a computer science degree but, I bombed Matrix Algebra and I barely passed intro to programming (I couldn't design efficient programs. mine worked but they were about 50% longer than the idea program length). Given that I failed the prerequiste Alegbra courses and got a 65% in a calculus course in which I was going in to the finals with a 85%, I decided that maybe comp sci wasn't for me. A friend recommended Human Resources Management, which I wound up staying with.

    I got a job in HR but, after 3 years, the meticulous employee files that I needed to maintain drove me nuts. I couldn't finish them in time, often working on weekends and after hours to get them in shape, and there were always little mistakes here and there that drove my supervisor nuts (almost got fired because of it). My director knew I was smart so he moved me on to project management and policy analysis where I did well though, I did have problems getting the projects finished on time and following the "procedures".

    Why did they diagnose me with ADHD?

    1) history of failing asleep in meetings or when I was awake, making inappropriate remarks during meetings about how irrritated I was by the slow proceedings. The irritation and inappropriate outbursts were not limited to meetings. Often happened with friends and family.
    2) constantly "zoning out" in meetings, social gathering and conversations
    3) inability to be on time for anything and not because I didn't want to be
    4) constant need to stay awake just until the point of exhaustion...every night
    5) frequent signs of being a workaholic. (I've been at work until 1am a couple of times in addition to working on weekends and holidays - o.k. sometimes I forgot it was a holiday.)
    6) ex-girlfriend would always complain that I would need to plan ahead
    7) bizarre chain of thought that often requires a lot of concentration to figure out how I got there. This annoyed a lot of people, especially when I changed topics in mid sentence.
    8) depression that didn't react to Remeron or Effexor. no history of hypothyroidism but, my sister has been informally diagnosed with ADD.
    9) EXTREMELY animated while talking. I find that if I try to restrain hand movements, walking around, or subconscious leg bouncing when sitting down, that I am tense, stressed and my muscles are extremely sore afterwards.
    10) poor impulse control in relation to actions (I would often do things as a kid, and as an adult which afterwards resulted in me wondering why I did that afterwards - i.e. car accidents) and thoughts (inappropriate comments, shopaholic)
    11) constantly interrupts others because I can see where they are going before they finish their comments, in addition to an inability to talk slowly when stressed or when I have something to say...and when I say slowly, I mean less than 60 words a minute and I'm not exaggerating.

    This is in no way an exhaustive list. Working with a psychiatrist and a psychologist together for 2 months, and eliminating depression and social anxiety disorder as the primary causes for my mental condition, they referred me to an ADD specialist. His anecdotal analysis of my life led him to diagnose me with ADD. The first two people I saw didn't have a good background in ADD and the 3rd woked exclusively with ADD patients. This creates room for doubt but, I'm no expert so, if you can offer an alternative analysis, Human Spirit, I'm more than willing to consider and explore it...

    I just want to be normal.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by HumanSpirit
    What was your field of study? I question that ADHD exists.

     
    Old 11-29-2003, 04:32 PM   #8
    rainonwindow
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    HumanSpirit - were you given an ADHD diagnosis?

     
    Old 12-01-2003, 10:56 AM   #9
    Christine7777
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    I LOVE that you guys are telling something you LOVE about AD/HD...because all we ever discuss are the frustrations from it. Ok...the thing I am happiest about it my empathy for others...and can also "feel" their pain of embarrassment. That really works for me because I tutor at-risk kids! Oh yeah, and people seem to enjoy my whacky sense of humor and energy. Sure makes you realize how really IMPORTANT we truly are for society!!!!!

     
    Old 12-01-2003, 10:57 AM   #10
    Christine7777
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    How in the heck did I manage to reply to the wrong thread!!!!! Sorry guys!!!

     
    Old 12-01-2003, 10:58 AM   #11
    free~spirit
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    Right on Christine!!!

     
    Old 12-01-2003, 10:59 AM   #12
    Christine7777
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    I just totally replied to the wrong thread....telling why I LOVE my AD/HD at times. It was a thread that had some real serious stuff going on. Now don't I feel like an idiot!!!!

     
    Old 12-01-2003, 11:02 AM   #13
    free~spirit
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Christine7777
    I just totally replied to the wrong thread....telling why I LOVE my AD/HD at times. It was a thread that had some real serious stuff going on. Now don't I feel like an idiot!!!!
    Christine, at the begining of the thread grouchy and I were talking about things we like about having ADD, it was on the first page, then human spirit started a disscussion on the second page, no worries, it's the same thread, just a different page of it.

     
    Old 12-02-2003, 08:59 AM   #14
    Christine7777
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by free~spirit
    Christine, at the begining of the thread grouchy and I were talking about things we like about having ADD, it was on the first page, then human spirit started a disscussion on the second page, no worries, it's the same thread, just a different page of it.

    OK...how do you do that? I didn't even know that there were different pages. I totally do not get this new board format!

     
    Old 12-02-2003, 10:56 AM   #15
    free~spirit
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    Re: Hello from a recently diagnosed ADHD

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Christine7777
    OK...how do you do that? I didn't even know that there were different pages. I totally do not get this new board format!
    At the bottom of the very last post of a thread it says "Pages" followed by the total number of pages. On the main board (where you can see all the threads) you can see (1,2,3) or however many pages right by the thread, instead of clicking on the thread topic you click on the page number which you wish to read. No matter what page you respond your response is posted after the last one in the thread.

     
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