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  • How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

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    Old 05-21-2004, 02:55 PM   #31
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    She called this other psychiatrist and is waiting for them to call her back so we can get an appointment. Someone has to cancel before we can get into see the doctor, otherwise it would be a couple of months. She wants to get a second opinion because 1) she doesnt think that i have adhd, 2) she thought it was "unprofessional" of him to give me medication to try w/o talking to her first, 3) she thinks since strattera has "urinary problems" as a side effect i shouldnt be taking it.

    You see, i was born with a 1st trimester birth defect, more specifically i have 3 kidneys. Because of this i had some things attached where they shouldnt have been, thus giving me enough urinary tract infections and bladder infections for an entire nursing home ward(sarcasim). I was on atibiotics for about 1 1/2 years trying to treat everything, but it didnt help much and i had to have surgery. After surgery i was very sick and lost a lot of weight. Because of it all, I have some kidney damage, have to drink a lot of liquids all the time, i am thinner than my family members and someone my age, and i get sicker more than everyone else my age.

    Because of all of this my mom thinks that the "problems urinating" that are sometimes caused by strattera will make me start to get kidney and bladder infections again, but i cant find any information on whether or not it does. Does anyone know if taking Strattera can casue kidney damage or have a negative effect of one's kidney's???

    BTW: my mom and i smoothed things out after she expained why she's so scared of me taking strat, but there are still some things that we agree to disagree on. Thanks for everyone's help!

     
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    Old 05-24-2004, 01:54 PM   #32
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    my mom made me an appointment for my "2nd opinion" with this other psychiatrist(sp) that she saw for a while and that my family saw about my 'rents split when i was 10. Oddly enough, he remembered me when my mom talked to him, which kinda scares me. He gave her some dumb sheets to fill out and im going to laugh if they are the same freakin' sheets that we all filled out for the other shrink. I have to wait until like June 2 or 3 to go and its driving me crazy.

    My mom, all of the sudden, is so worried about my health that it is starting to scare me. She is convinced that the strattera is going to hurt my already damaged kidneys and she has no REAL basis for this assumption.

    So, once again, i ask if anyone knows if strattera has been linked to kidney problems???? I would really like to know so i can tell my mom to stop her worrying. Also, this shrink has add, so im going to laugh when he tells my mom the same thing that the other one did! It's funny, he even said "oh the really bouncy and happy little one", when they were talking about me. I believe that speaks for itself . But any help would be GREATLY appreciated. Gotta go study for exams, thanks again.

     
    Old 06-01-2004, 10:08 AM   #33
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    The shrink gave my mom stuff to send to m school to have 2 of my teachers fill out. I find it funny that he thinks that having just 2 of my teachers fill out stuff is enough when he is doing every test under the sun. I only had 4 classes this semester(block schedule) so i dont see why he wouldnt want to get info from all of them, considering the fact that i act very differant in all of my classes.

    I am just so nervous that this guy is going to find something that, to him, says that im not adhd. I know that I AM and everyone except for my mom knows that too, but she's the only person that matters when it comes to this. My dad said that if "her" shrink says that i have it then she will believe it because she trusts him and knows him.

    I just need some help here because in a week i will find out what happens and i am driving myself crazy thinking about it and the only time that it hasnt been in the back of my mind was yesterday when my friends and i saw one of our favorite basketball players at the mall.

    Thanks everyone!

     
    Old 06-04-2004, 02:20 PM   #34
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    So last night i came across the adhd papers that my mom picked up from school the other day and the envelope just happened to "fall" open. Ok, so i opened it to see which of my teachers did the reports and i couldnt help but look at how they filled them out. After examining them i have come to the conclusion that i am completely SKREWED if the doctor relies heavily on what my teachers said, considering they both gave me zeros for everything. I know that doesnt sound like someone who has adhd but for years i've tried to suppress all of the restlessness and talkativeness inside of me when im in class. I'm also very shy when im around a larger group of people or even a small group of people that i dont know. The supression thing started when i was little and was called wierd because i was hyper and talked a lot by a girl that i wanted to be friends with(needless to say i never was friends with her).

    No one sees my problems because i try to hide them because i dont want to seem weak or helpless and i guess that if i just was my rambuncious(sp) self all the time i wouldnt be 16 and still trying to get this worked out. Oh well, i still have my dad and one of my sisters that will back me up, so i guess the playing field is as even as it can get.

    I have a couple of questions though:
    1) how heavily do psychiatrists use the teacher forms when diagnosing?
    2) how heavily does the patients words and forms weigh into the mix?
    3) should i get my friends and other sister to write a letter or something to the doctor explaining how i am in situations with them?
    4) is it possible to be adhd and also have depression that's induced by trying to cope with the adhd? I've read a couple of postings about kids that had this and just wanted to know if anyone had expierance with it.
    5) Is there any way that i can see a doctor without the permission of my legal gaurdian before i turn 18?
    6) Do you know of any ways that i could try to show my mom why i believe i have this disorder and what i go through every day trying to cope with it?

    I know that was more than a couple questions but i am so worried that this shrink is going to find someway to tell my mom what she wants to hear instead of what i know is true. Dont get me wrong, i dont want to have something wrong with me, who would, but after all of the searching that i've done this is the only thing that fits(and considering i have a father and sister with it, it makes sense). I keep telling myself that i only have a couple more days and then it will all be over with, but i know that isnt true and i honestly am afraid for that day to come.

    thanks for your help. I appreciate it!(sorry it was so long!)

     
    Old 06-04-2004, 06:36 PM   #35
    DoubleVision
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    What I think really matters is what a psychiatrist or psychologist finds through their testing. The teachers' comments are somewhat useful, but don't know that the psych. people really look that intently at them. If through the testing at this psych. you are not thought to be ADHD, then I would say maybe you really aren't. I know that is not what you want to hear, but unless the world is conspiring against you, there is a chance that this disorder you think it is, really isn't the case. I don't know you, this is just speculation based off of what you wrote. It seems to me that you are uncomfortable with the person you are and anxiously await being told you have ADHD even if you don't.

     
    Old 06-04-2004, 08:08 PM   #36
    bearboy
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    It sounds like you have ocd, not add.

     
    Old 06-04-2004, 10:41 PM   #37
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    Double Vision-
    It's not that I'm uncomfortable with who i am, its just that i dont want to seem weak and vulnerable to people, especially if i'm not close to them. Sure I see a teacher for 1 1/2 hours a day, 5 times a week, for 5 months, but that doesnt mean that they know me and i dont feel comfortable telling them my life story. I know the world isnt all against me, but i feel since my mom actually knows him and she told him that she didnt want him to do the evaluation unless he could be completely unbias, which is why i assume that he is doing every single test in the book. I've already been evaluated once and according to that psychiatrist i had adhd and my mom, who is convinced that my father is putting the idea of me having adhd into my head(which isnt true), decided that she wanted to get a second opinion before we went any further.

    One of the teachers that did the evaluation was my newspaper teacher. That is a more relaxed environment and it isnt like a regular class. We get to move around as we like and we go off campus to try to "sell" ads to local businesses several times a week. So, she may not really see it because i know my friends that i sit near see it considering im always swinging down the desk aisles and talking nonstop about things that have nothign to do with whats going on. The other teacher is off in her own world a lot of times, and i was one of the few kids that actually took notes and didnt try to start a fight with someone else, so i think that says it all.

    I dont want to be adhd, who in their right mind would. I've seen what its done to my dad and how hard simple tasks are for him. If it turns out that im not, i'll accept it, but honestly deep down i know that any shrink in his right mind can see that i truely am adhd. I'm not looking for a crutch, just an explanation and some help in dealing with what is making my life incredibly more difficult than any other "normal" teenager.

    bearboy--
    Why does it sound like i'm obsessive compulsive? I was just wondering how you came to that conclusion from reading my post. You may have been trying to type odd, but either way i dont see myself being ocd or odd. I've never locked or unlocked doors multiple times or anything like that. Actually after reading my previous post, i would say that i could possibly be skitzophrenic(sp), if i was anything other that adhd, but i know that im not that.

    Thanks for both of your opinions and views. I'll keep everyone updated with what happens next week.

     
    Old 06-05-2004, 12:04 AM   #38
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    Can you tell me some of your symptoms as to why you think you have ADD or ADHD? My daughter is 18 and for about 3 years she has complained about various things: Her mind goes constantly and she can't shut it off; she can't sit down and watch a movie with us like she used to; some of her behavior is a little risky and foolish (but I know she's a teen) and sometimes she is just downright irresponsible. Her grades have dropped some and she's always complaining about being bored. She doesn't seem depressed and has tons of friends. In fact, her social calendar is just a little too booked in my opinion. She used to have nightmares a lot but they have stopped. She went to a counselor for awhile, but we stopped because she (my daughter) felt like it was useless and she wasn't getting to the point of the problem. I think she needs to get a good physical checkup first before we delve into the emotional aspect of her problem. Maybe it could be a simple as a hormonal imbalance? I don't know, but any advice or recommendations would be appreciated.

     
    Old 06-05-2004, 03:44 PM   #39
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    My symptoms all across the spectrum. I will go from task to task(ie: homework) frequently without finishing any of them, it takes me a long time to start and complete a task, i am always forgetting about things(even in 5 minutes), i have to be told multiple times to do something because i will forget in the time someone told me to do something, im very disorganized, my mind is like a tv that keeps changing channels, i used to have frequent nightmares and my dreams are very wierd and they will rapidly change from one thing to another, i cant sit and pay attention for more than 20 seconds without thinking of something else(ive timed it), make careless maistakes very often, i dont like thinking for extended periods of time(even if its not difficult), I just blurt out things before thinking them through, i have trouble waiting my turn, i cant stand in a line and wait, i have trouble maintaining friendships, when sitting im always fidgiting with my hands or feet, i have a constant feeling of restlessness, i always seem to be bored(even if i just got back from somewhere), i talk excessively and ramble on and on about random things, i was very active as a child, i am always making noise of somesort(i will talk to myself while watching tv or at the movies), i have a lot of trouble sitting and reading a book unless its something taht im very interested in, i always seem to be daydreaming, im constantly being told to slow down when i talk, and i have a lot of trouble falling asleep at night because my mind keeps racing and thinking about random things.

    I think i have adhd because of all of the symptoms, especially the horrible attention span and memory. I have a family history of adhd, and it tends to run in families. There are certain medical problems that do express adhd symptoms(something about tyroid problem i think) but i've had so many physical exams and blood work done this year that i have ruled out any possibility of a physical problem. I think that about covers it, lol. There's more i could say but i figured that was enough and im getting sick of typing. In order to actually have adhd symptoms should have been present before age 7, so you should really think back to when she was a kid before jumping to conclusions. I hope this helps you out. Good luck.

     
    Old 06-05-2004, 06:48 PM   #40
    bearboy
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    It looks like you are absolutley overcome with the idea of being diagnosed with add. You seem to think that because some of your family members have it, you also do too. You are worried about not getting medication because your teachers didnt give you enough of a score on the paper for the doctor. This is drug seeking behavior. You are playing with fire at such a young age. You seem to want to have ADD so badly that you obsessed. Sorry, but your mom is right. You need a second opinion. I am not trying to be mean, but look at what you are posting. Timing your self. Everyone gets distracted and everyone forgets things and makes noise when they are children. You are so set on this ADD thing you are in such a hurry for another doctor to say you have ADD so your mom will let you take medicine. You dont even want the doctor doing any other tests, you are that sure, eh. Bring a print out of all your posts on here to your doctor. Or are you scared to. By the looks of all your posts it looks like you went a lot longer than 20 seconds without your mind drifting. So you must have seen the strattera commercial with the flipping channels...

     
    Old 06-06-2004, 04:46 PM   #41
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    I dont believe that i have adhd because family members do, i believe that i have it because i've lived with the symptoms for 16 years! First of all, i was very sick when i was younger and i was constantly in the hospital, thus i hate doctors and the only time i ever go to one now is if im extremely ill or have to have a physical, so why would i be doing this if i didnt have a good, logical reason? I've had just about every single possible tube shoved in me and so many differant anti-biotics and pain medications pumped through my blood that i dont even want to take advil for a headache now. I dont want to be on medication, if there is another, better, way to deal with this then i would choose that option, but im sick of struggling with this and anything that helps is fine with me. I know everyone does those things, but if you knew me then you would understand how excessive it is and why i am doing this. I forget to do something like 3 seconds after it comes out of someones mouth. I've heard about other add-ers timing themselves, so why is it so bad that i have, i dont understand your reasoning? I'm also not against getting a second opinion, i'm just against seeing the shrink that is going to do the second opinion. I've seen him once before and he is the most condescending [butt]hole i've ever met in my entire life, which is hard to believe considering where i live.

    The fact is, i've been trying to get tested for 2 years now and i feel that if i dont get this done soon, then it never will and i'll spend the rest of my life wondering how differant my life could have been. I've listened to numerous stories about how my dad used to do this and that and whenever i asked him why he quit he would always say, "i dont know, i just stopped.", even when it was something that he loved so much. I dont want to be that person that spends the rest of their lives wondering. I just want to know, and if it turns out that i dont then ill take it in stride and just keep on my path. If the answer is yes, then i feel like i will finally be able to blaze down that new path that i've always known that i can go to, but just never been able.

    It actually has taken me 45 minutes to type this, and im not exaggerating, ok if you want to get technical 43 minutes but i felt that rounding was appropriate in this situation. I write a lot because, as a journalist, you are taught to explain things, so i try to throughly explain what im talking about the best that i can. Oh, and just for the record, i've never seen a strattera commercial where channels flip... and you still havent answered my question about why i sound more ocd than add, i honestly would like to know.

     
    Old 06-06-2004, 06:23 PM   #42
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    the remark about the ocd was sarcastic. but it may be true by the posting youve done here. you seemed to be obsessed with it. you need to see a psychologist before you see a psychiatrist. I bet you wouldnt even give that a try. You are not the only one who spent their childhood in a hospital and with a doctor twice a week.. me too and probably half the people in here. I find it a little wierd that you could use that slogan from strattera and not have seen the ad. I dont believe you.

     
    Old 06-09-2004, 09:28 PM   #43
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    I'm not going to fight with you over something as insignificant as whether or not i've seen a commercial. I've seen a strattera commercial that talks about children with adhd, but that's it. The remark about the hospital was only made to tell you that you shouldnt be judging me like you are because you dont know what i've been trough im my life and to explain the fact that i dont WANT to take medication(like you seemed to think, even though you dont know me and are automatically assuming something that you cant confirm). I am willing to bet that you werent on anti-biotics for 1.5 years that were supposed to help you that actually, in turn, caused some of my current kidney damage. I am also willing to bet that you didnt have major surgery when you were 5 that basically determined my quality and length of life. So please stop with it because i dont want to be a rude and mean person, but telling someone that almost dieing is insignificant in their life is a bunch of pooey.

    Anyway, i went to my PSYCHOLOGIST appoinment today and we talked and all that with my parents and then he had me "play a game" with this box with a button on it. I was supposed to push the button when i thought that it had been long enough and if it was then i got a point. The box had a timer with a set time on the inside and a certain amount of time to play the game. The objective was to get as many points as you could with the max capable being 60. Well, that was harder than it sounds and i got a 4 on it, and they give you the first point. Then there was one with numbers wher you had to wait for a 1 then a 9 appear in the center number push the button. Lets put it this way... i completely bombed them and failed the first test in my entire life.

    The psych. came to the same conclusion that the psychiatrist did, being that he had reason to believe that i have adhd. my mom didnt care for that too much, but she picked the psych because she trusted his opinion. Of course my parents began getting into the argument of whether or not it was medically incorrect for the psychiatrist to do what he did. He told my mom that everyone needs to support my decision about how i want to seek treatment and where i want to go with everything, even if they dont agree. He's faxing over a reccomendation to my pediatrician tomorrow for what meds to suggest i try and we are going to talk to her about it and see what she suggests because of my kidney problems(my mom is so frightened that the meds will hurt them even more). He suggested that i try concerta before anything else because it does its work and then gets out of your system and you are back to before, and you will see results faster than with strattera(the other choice). My mom doesnt like the idea of "mixing a drug coctail" for her daughter every day, which is ironic since she is a psychiatric nurse, but whatever.

    I thought that i would update everyone on whats going on with me and i just want to say thanks for everyone who gave me advice because without it, i wouldnt have even talked to my mom and i wouldnt be getting help right now.

     
    Old 06-12-2004, 08:32 AM   #44
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    my sentiments, too, chinesebarbie. My ADD experience and perspective is [actually, uncannily] similar to yours. But msmars, your insistence on your ADD-self-Dx does make me want to caution you: 1) not being willing to seriously consider possible alternatives is a form of denial; 2) what if after all this travail, it turns out that you get on an ADD therapy track but you really DON'T have ADD? Then, not only would you probably be getting the wrong therapy, you wouldn't be getting the right therapy. In that case: be careful what you wish for because you just might get it! Lose-lose!!
    In either case, most indicated meds affect fluid-balance, which places an additional burden on your renal system. You have more to lose here than just your pride.
    I can appreciate that you want to get on with therapy if you have ADD (or for whatever you might have), but unless you are really in a crisis for meds, I think you should be very deliberate and make sure you need them and that the one[s] you might take are as minimum risk to yourself as possible.

    Last edited by apinecone; 06-12-2004 at 08:34 AM. Reason: Mis-spelled name

     
    Old 06-14-2004, 01:15 AM   #45
    msmars5188
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    Re: How do i talk to my mom about adhd?

    Chinesebarbie and apinecone--
    Thanks for your replies. My mom sat down and had a heart to heart and i do understand why she's concerned and i dont want to rush into anything but i just want help, thats all. I've waited for 16 years and im willing to wait a couple extra weeks if i need to, i dont have a problem with that. She now has realized that this has nothing to do with her well being and she needs to support me even if she doesnt agree because its about my personal well being and my quality of life. Im not a stupid person and the last thing i want is to hurt my mother, or myself for that matter, and i would never fake a test just to get drugs and i've never and im never going to abuse drugs of any kind because that would stand in the way of the future that i have waiting for me. I've got big plans for myself and im not going to jepordize that because of something so insignificant.

    It always seems to be more difficult with devorced parents to do anything, but im used to it and yes, it does seem like they are always on opposing sides about things but for the first time in a long time they are both backing me up with my decision to persue treatment for this. From talking to my mom ive come to the conclusion that i believe that she was just trying to ignore the thought that i had adhd because im a good student and im smart(not trying to be conceided here) and i dont cause trouble all of the time. She also doesnt want me to be labeled as that because she doenst want me to be descriminated against b/c i can possibly get extra time on tests and the SAT and she thinks that colleges may take that into account when i apply and she also is afraid that it will be harder for me to get a job because of it.

    I have a really good doctor who is "concervative" in the fact that when she has somethign like this she takes it slowly before she gives out a prescription for meds. My mom and i are also going to see what she says about the kidney stuff, but honestly ive lived with this kidney "problem" my entire life and i was told by doctors about 6 years ago that i was fine and we shouldnt have any reason to worry anymore, but i do know that we should talk to the doc about it and see what she thinks is the safest form of treatment and stuff.

    I just want to say thank you to everyone for all of your help. For the first time in my life i feel like people actually know what i go through everyday and actually can relate and understand me. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated and ill stay around even after everything is all said and done. Thanks again.

     
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