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    Old 02-23-2005, 04:57 AM   #1
    tomminny
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    Turning ADHD on and Off?

    My 6 year old son was diagnosed with adhd. His mother and I were divorced when he was 4 and she was remarried a year later. Her new husband is very strict to the point where the kids are not allowed to play with toys outside their bedrooms. My son was chewing with his mouth open and was banned from their basement playroom for a month...
    We went to a counselor for awhile where my ex kept pushing how bad my son was at home and in school. I did not see the behaviors she talked about when he was at my house (once or twice during the week and over the weekends). I lost the battle with the counselor and they put my son on strattara at age 5. He was on that for a little over a year. I did not like the effect the strattara had on him....I think it made him more aggressive and his emotions seemed very on edge. The doctor did not like the way my son was not gaining weight so they switched him to concerta in January. I am much happier with the concerta because I can choose not to give it to him as it does not have to be kept at a level in his blood like the Strattara was.
    I went to the doctors with my ex. yesterday to ask some questions. The first thing as we sat there in the office is the doctor said he could tell right away that the dosage was working because my son looked like he was behaving well. I said "He has been staying with me for three days so had not had the meds during that time". The doctory was taken back by that but said nothing. I told the doctor that I did not have the problems with my son that my ex seems to have at her house. He said "The reason for that is that your son holds it together at your house and when he gets home, he lets it all out." I am baffled by that statement. I have had my son for almost a week now with no meds and he seems to be doing great. We are on break from school so he has not had schoolwork so I cannot gauge his school behavior without the meds.
    Could anyone comment on this turning adhd on and off? Is this possible if it is true adhd?
    Thank you for your time.

    Tom

     
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    Old 02-23-2005, 02:07 PM   #2
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Your son is obviously more relaxed and at ease with you. Stress/anxiety can greatly exacerbate the symptoms of ADHD. (Which is why I do not work in high-stress environments). I don't know, I'm not a doctor but if he's behaving one way with you and another aorund the ex and her militant husband, then it's very interesting.

    I don't think your son is "turning it on and off". He's probably just worried about messing up when he's at home with his mom and Sgt. Carter.

    Talk to a child counselor.

     
    Old 02-23-2005, 03:02 PM   #3
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    tomminny,

    When my kids (who have not been diagnosed with ADD -- I have) would go to their dad's for weekends and other visits, he saw the same thing and heard the same things from me as do you.
    It was explained that the kids felt "free" to act out with me, but not with him. Most likely this was because they were on visitor-mode, but I am not going to speculate beyond that.
    However, when I moved four hours away (for employment), their visits became more extended and less frequent with their dad (e.g., 6 weeks in the summer and rarely a weekend, as compared with 2 weeks in the summer and about a weekend each month).
    After a couple of weeks at Dad's, they would start to come out of their well-behaved-visitor mode and act out.

    As someone who is not happy being on meds because of side effects, and, quite frankly, lack of positive effects, I empathize with your concerns.

    But I am still trying the medications because I have been this way all of my life, and it has been very difficult, especially socially. When I was a little kid, people laughed at the odd things I would blurt out. (I'm a female, so it is more obvious verbally than physically -- of course ) Later, in school, I was reprimanded for talking out of turn. As an adult, it is no longer cute, funny, or acceptable--especially when it takes the form of busily working on 10 things at once under the eye of a micro-managing boss, or inappropriately sharing irrelevent observations.

    So, I guess you want to determine whether your son's behavior is just age-appropriate (if annoying to some), or something that is going to prevent him from achieving a tolerable life-style and acceptance.

    There are people who have been able to channel their hyper-activity (both mental and physical) into extremely lucrative careers. For instance, although I read that Jim Carrey, the actor, is bipolar rather than ADD, his manic, ADD-like phase works for him.
    But I suspect if the whole population of ADD folks could be counted, the few who have achieved great fame and fortune because they were not medicated would be similar in proportion to the number of basketball stars as compared to all low-income kids who think playing basketball instead of doing homework will put them on the fast track to success.

    Sorry to ramble (as usual). I hope that gives you some useful ideas.

     
    Old 02-23-2005, 06:17 PM   #4
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Stress is a huge factor concerning ADD/ADHD. Also, the amount of physical exercise, as well as the amount of healthy foods /junk foods one is consuming.

    However- a speaker at one CHADD meeting emphatically stated that no diagnosis is meaningful or can be presumed correct if there is "family violence" in the home- physical or emotional. The behavioral manifestations of children in these homes is due to the environment.
    Of course- that does not mean one does not have ADD, etc. but a true diagnosis cannot be obtained while living in that type of home.
    kind of a fine line
    C-Ga

    Last edited by rids; 02-23-2005 at 06:19 PM. Reason: spelling

     
    Old 02-24-2005, 08:21 AM   #5
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    well, i don't have much I can say about the changing environment affecting his ADD. all I can say is that age 5 or 6 seems very very early to diagnose ADD in a little boy. espessially when he is in a situation like that. with the stress of changing environments and the stresses of being with your ex's spouse. I'm surprised it was diagnosed that early.

    On what grounds was the diagnosis? do you feel that it was accurate? or do you think maybe he is behaving normally for a young boy. (i mean, they aren't exactly supposed to be calm and focused at that age...)

     
    Old 02-27-2005, 07:13 AM   #6
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ellethiel
    well, i don't have much I can say about the changing environment affecting his ADD. all I can say is that age 5 or 6 seems very very early to diagnose ADD in a little boy. espessially when he is in a situation like that. with the stress of changing environments and the stresses of being with your ex's spouse. I'm surprised it was diagnosed that early.

    On what grounds was the diagnosis? do you feel that it was accurate? or do you think maybe he is behaving normally for a young boy. (i mean, they aren't exactly supposed to be calm and focused at that age...)
    I felt that he was just being a normal, energetic young boy. His mom felt that he was out of control and was embarassing her when they went into stores, he bit a child that was provoking him at day care. At home, he did not get along with his new stepfather. We went to counseling where we saw things totally different. We were supposed to keep track of the foods he ate..which his mom did for a week, the counselor talked to her about her new husband being to hard on our son with some of the punishments..he never came to any of the sessions. It seemed that she knew that this couselor was all that stood between her and meds that would make her life easier. I stated my concerns and it was met with "You don't have the kids all the time so you shouldn't make the decision."
    I do everything I can to try to keep things good between us for the kids sake. We just see this totally different. I think she is looking for control in a pill. I just hope these meds don't mess him up for the rest of his life.

     
    Old 02-27-2005, 09:21 PM   #7
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Wow, this is really tough. I'm very sorry you're in this situation.
    Does it seem like the meds help him? or do they make him more hyper? because if he does indeed have ADD then they would help, in a way at least. But i would immagine that if he doesn't in fact have ADD the meds wouldn't help, but only stimulate him more.

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 11:07 AM   #8
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    The meds definately change him. He gets quieter but doesn't show a lot of emotion. When he is on them I miss the laughing and happy boy that he seems to be when he is not on them.
    I am really concerned about the long term effects of being on the meds and what it does to a child's brain while he is developing. Will he develop an addiction to the way he feels when he is on them? Will he grow to depend on them as he gets older? He is not gaining any weight and doesn't like to eat when he is on them. When he is off them at my house for a day he eats like a horse. My ex doesn't like the kids to get dirty, she doesn't push them outside to play like I do to burn off energy. She doesn't cook for them..they eat a lot of prepackaged stuff that she can microwave, lunchables for lunch, etc... I know that can contribute as well. We were supposed to keep track of his food intake when we first started counseling but she did it for a week or two and then stopped. She just wanted him to contact the dr. to put him on meds....
    I missed one week of the counseling and it was the next week I walked in and the counselor was ready to put him on the meds... I don't know what I missed but that was the decision day...
    Anyways, thanks for listening to my babling... I am just at a loss as to what to do now. I feel she is keeping him on the meds to keep her marriage together and be in control of him without her having to work at it. There is no other behavioral work being done with the meds...he is just "tranqualized" then she doesn't have to deal with him.

     
    Old 03-04-2005, 11:03 PM   #9
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tomminny
    My 6 year old son was diagnosed with adhd. His mother and I were divorced when he was 4 and she was remarried a year later. Her new husband is very strict to the point where the kids are not allowed to play with toys outside their bedrooms. My son was chewing with his mouth open and was banned from their basement playroom for a month...
    We went to a counselor for awhile where my ex kept pushing how bad my son was at home and in school. I did not see the behaviors she talked about when he was at my house (once or twice during the week and over the weekends). I lost the battle with the counselor and they put my son on strattara at age 5. He was on that for a little over a year. I did not like the effect the strattara had on him....I think it made him more aggressive and his emotions seemed very on edge. The doctor did not like the way my son was not gaining weight so they switched him to concerta in January. I am much happier with the concerta because I can choose not to give it to him as it does not have to be kept at a level in his blood like the Strattara was.
    I went to the doctors with my ex. yesterday to ask some questions. The first thing as we sat there in the office is the doctor said he could tell right away that the dosage was working because my son looked like he was behaving well. I said "He has been staying with me for three days so had not had the meds during that time". The doctory was taken back by that but said nothing. I told the doctor that I did not have the problems with my son that my ex seems to have at her house. He said "The reason for that is that your son holds it together at your house and when he gets home, he lets it all out." I am baffled by that statement. I have had my son for almost a week now with no meds and he seems to be doing great. We are on break from school so he has not had schoolwork so I cannot gauge his school behavior without the meds.
    Could anyone comment on this turning adhd on and off? Is this possible if it is true adhd?
    Thank you for your time.

    Tom
    Ok, now that I'm done laughing at the counselor I'll give my 2 cents in. I have to comment at how convenient that answer was...about your son holding it together for you but letting it out when he gets home. Wow. I wonder how many people in your postion they tell that to....it sounds so formulaic, too perfect of an answer in my opinion. And it makes no sense.

    Sounds like he really should be on his best behavior with the strict army of a house your ex and her spouse run....but why isn't he? Well, IMHO, I think he's being harrassed and he's not at all happy about it. This is the food stress feeds on...the emotional disappointment of mom and dad not loving each other anymore (and the child wonders if mom or dad can stop loving him too), and the other situation with a new person moving in, who had no rights in his life suddenly coming in and pushing him around as though they did.

    Did the counselor ever think of that...the fact that maybe your son is not happy in that environment with your ex and her guy, and it shows in his behavior??

    Oddly enough, when he's with you, he is not being harrassed or stressed, thus a better behavior. Happy children behave much differently than unhappy ones.....and I think this is also true of many adults. I don't think one needs a PHD to figure this stuff out, it's simple logic. But then, logic doesn't sell pills.

    Divorce is a trauma on children, it rocks their foundations, their security. So if that isn't bad enough, they then may have to also have some stranger come into their house and try to replace one of their parents, this is not only upsetting but if they can't get along, then the children start to feel resentment towards the person who has no authority in their lives other than pushing themselves in on it! The conflict can create enormous stress on any child....

    Insecure, resentful, over-stressed children are not going to behave well now, don't you think??


    By the way, good job pulling one over on the counselor about the meds... which I really doubt the child needs....IMHO, since I'm not a doctor I cannot tell you to not give him the meds.

    Now, if you are worried about the long-term problems of taking meds, you should have every right to express that; you have rights too.

    New studies show long term theraputic use of amphetamines or amphetamine like drugs can lead to development of depression; also, they are drugs of dependancy and tolerance, which can cause numerous problems. THere are also the known mood problems that can develop. THere are also the health related factors on the cardiovascular system among many others.

    You might be interested in some of the information out there, you can look up people like Dr. Peter Breggin, Dr. Fred Baughman. You might want to also look up Dr. Ann Tracy, PHD, she is mainly concerned with the damage done to children by antidepressants but I think whether one is talking about antidepressant, stimulants or traquilizers, the concerns about drugs that effect the brain function and change moods are still one in the same.

    Look up adverse and side effects of Concerta or even Ritalin, since I'm under the impression Concerta is a longer acting version of Ritalin. Looking up that information may arm you in your concerns for your son's future health and well being, so do some research.

    Good luck, with it all...

    Last edited by Jennita; 03-04-2005 at 11:32 PM.

     
    Old 04-06-2005, 05:00 PM   #10
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tomminny
    My 6 year old son was diagnosed with adhd. His mother and I were divorced when he was 4 and she was remarried a year later. Her new husband is very strict to the point where the kids are not allowed to play with toys outside their bedrooms. My son was chewing with his mouth open and was banned from their basement playroom for a month...
    We went to a counselor for awhile where my ex kept pushing how bad my son was at home and in school. I did not see the behaviors she talked about when he was at my house (once or twice during the week and over the weekends). I lost the battle with the counselor and they put my son on strattara at age 5. He was on that for a little over a year. I did not like the effect the strattara had on him....I think it made him more aggressive and his emotions seemed very on edge. The doctor did not like the way my son was not gaining weight so they switched him to concerta in January. I am much happier with the concerta because I can choose not to give it to him as it does not have to be kept at a level in his blood like the Strattara was.
    I went to the doctors with my ex. yesterday to ask some questions. The first thing as we sat there in the office is the doctor said he could tell right away that the dosage was working because my son looked like he was behaving well. I said "He has been staying with me for three days so had not had the meds during that time". The doctory was taken back by that but said nothing. I told the doctor that I did not have the problems with my son that my ex seems to have at her house. He said "The reason for that is that your son holds it together at your house and when he gets home, he lets it all out." I am baffled by that statement. I have had my son for almost a week now with no meds and he seems to be doing great. We are on break from school so he has not had schoolwork so I cannot gauge his school behavior without the meds.
    Could anyone comment on this turning adhd on and off? Is this possible if it is true adhd?
    Thank you for your time.

    Tom
    We are having a VERY similar problem with my step son. My DH had custody of the kids for 3 yrs(he's military)but when he had to move to a different state-a joke of an emergency custody hearing turned custody over to the mother since she would be staying put. Anyway the mother has now had custody for about 5 months and suddenly SS has all kinds of issues/problems that we do NOT see when he's here. He started a psychologist and a psychaitrist-was put on Stratarra on his FIRST visit there with no testing done. Testing was done afterwards and they have changed their minds from an ADHD dx to now a bi-polar dx!! Oh yeah Tourette's syndrom was also mentioned because he developed tics as a side effect from the straterra. These people seem to be listening to MOm only and not us at all and all mom wants is a magic pill to make SS act right. She nor the Drs. will even consider the fact that the poor kid is just upset over his daddy moving far away and going from living with dad and myself(step mom) to living with mom. Its very frustrating. Oh and she used to be the type that did not believe in meds like that but has changed her tune since she got married and her husband does not want to deal with any problems.
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    Old 04-07-2005, 12:47 PM   #11
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sassykitten74
    We are having a VERY similar problem with my step son. My DH had custody of the kids for 3 yrs(he's military)but when he had to move to a different state-a joke of an emergency custody hearing turned custody over to the mother since she would be staying put. Anyway the mother has now had custody for about 5 months and suddenly SS has all kinds of issues/problems that we do NOT see when he's here. He started a psychologist and a psychaitrist-was put on Stratarra on his FIRST visit there with no testing done. Testing was done afterwards and they have changed their minds from an ADHD dx to now a bi-polar dx!! Oh yeah Tourette's syndrom was also mentioned because he developed tics as a side effect from the straterra. These people seem to be listening to MOm only and not us at all and all mom wants is a magic pill to make SS act right. She nor the Drs. will even consider the fact that the poor kid is just upset over his daddy moving far away and going from living with dad and myself(step mom) to living with mom. Its very frustrating. Oh and she used to be the type that did not believe in meds like that but has changed her tune since she got married and her husband does not want to deal with any problems.
    It sounds like you've already got it figured out, on the money!!! It's terrible the child has no rights here. It's one thing if an adult decides hey, I have a terrible time focusing and want to take meds, because they are old enough to decide if they are willing to take all the health risks involved but the poor kid has to do what he is told, even if the drug harms him in some ways.

    Biological medication is given for these conditions where there are no existing biological tests. The drugs themselves can be harmful health wise and even create mood problems and as you have seen, neurological damage in the form of tics.

    Lots of kids are getting tardive dyskinesia from neuroleptics given to them to control and calm them; sometimes neuorleptics are used to counter the stimulants side effects! Tardive dyskinesia is a horrible neurological ailment, I've seen kids in wheelchairs grimacing(sometimes looks like smiling or making faces) and losing control of tongue, neck and trunk movements wondering how they got that way; if it was from drugs.

    That's the worst case of course but drugs that effect the brain function can cause various effects maybe not as bad as Tardive dyskinesia but bad nevertheless.

    It's sad because nobody asked these kids if they are willing to take these risks from medications. And the kids wouldn't be able anyway to make the decision like an adult would.

    Well, I hope there is something you can do for your stepson because now he has been labeled mentally disordered and usually it is hard once that happens to fight the system, especially if one parent is on the other side of the issue.

    Maybe you could encourage him to fight it himself, at least he may get his mother to hear him.

    You might be interested in Dr. Fred Baughman and Dr. Peter Breggin's take on the biological points of ADD and also of the drugs prescribed for it.

    I'm seriously doubting he is bi-polar either since you and your husband have not seen any behavior of that sort while he was living with you.

     
    Old 04-08-2005, 01:52 PM   #12
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Jennita
    It sounds like you've already got it figured out, on the money!!! It's terrible the child has no rights here. It's one thing if an adult decides hey, I have a terrible time focusing and want to take meds, because they are old enough to decide if they are willing to take all the health risks involved but the poor kid has to do what he is told, even if the drug harms him in some ways.

    Biological medication is given for these conditions where there are no existing biological tests. The drugs themselves can be harmful health wise and even create mood problems and as you have seen, neurological damage in the form of tics.

    Lots of kids are getting tardive dyskinesia from neuroleptics given to them to control and calm them; sometimes neuorleptics are used to counter the stimulants side effects! Tardive dyskinesia is a horrible neurological ailment, I've seen kids in wheelchairs grimacing(sometimes looks like smiling or making faces) and losing control of tongue, neck and trunk movements wondering how they got that way; if it was from drugs.

    That's the worst case of course but drugs that effect the brain function can cause various effects maybe not as bad as Tardive dyskinesia but bad nevertheless.

    It's sad because nobody asked these kids if they are willing to take these risks from medications. And the kids wouldn't be able anyway to make the decision like an adult would.

    Well, I hope there is something you can do for your stepson because now he has been labeled mentally disordered and usually it is hard once that happens to fight the system, especially if one parent is on the other side of the issue.

    Maybe you could encourage him to fight it himself, at least he may get his mother to hear him.

    You might be interested in Dr. Fred Baughman and Dr. Peter Breggin's take on the biological points of ADD and also of the drugs prescribed for it.

    I'm seriously doubting he is bi-polar either since you and your husband have not seen any behavior of that sort while he was living with you.

    Thank you for the information, I do appreciate it. My DH has begged his ex to let SS move here to be with us and to at least give it a chance(she refuses to believe us when we tell her he just does NOT act this way when he's with us!!) before meds, but she refuses. Why she'd want to put her son on potentially dangerous meds before at least trying to see if he'd be better off with his father is beyond me. She put him on the stratarra without my husband's permission, knowing it was against his wishes. They do have joint custody so she is not legally entitled to leave my DH out of these decisons. It seems like these drs. are too fast to put a label on SS and his mom seems to be fine with it all?? I think the poor kid could use someone to talk to (therapy) but beyond that I just honestly do not see anything wrong with him. His mom has put him through alot in his life and I really just think he feels more loved and secure here with his dad. Hopefully we'll be able to get something worked out for him. Thanks again-
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    Old 04-09-2005, 04:31 AM   #13
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tomminny
    He said "The reason for that is that your son holds it together at your house and when he gets home, he lets it all out."
    Obviously from afar I can't tell you whether it applies in your son's case, that may well be debatable. In general, the reason the doctor gave is quite a common phenomenon, I have heard it many times that parents report that and I have also made a similar experience with my daughter, in this case concerning school.

    She goes to school until around 1.00 pm and her distractability and lack of concentration was also noticeable at school. However, she behaved very well at school and "fell apart" the minute I picked her up and she used to have very bad tantrums in the next two hours or so.

    The reason is dead simple: At home she feels secure, she doesn't have to fight for affection. We love her, no matter what and she knows that. She can "afford" to freak out without having to fear any consequences other than trouble with her parents and brother and sisters. She won't lose our affection.

    At school it is a totally different situation. She is quite aware (years of experience) that elsewhere people start to dislike her and behave negatively towards her if she behaves like that. So she held it all together there and as soon as she felt the security of her family she let it all out. And because she pulled herself together all morning she used so much energy to achieve this that the tantrums she had in the early afternoon were quite bad.

    Now you will probably say: "But I am his Dad, I am his family, I love him no matter what, so this explanation cannot apply to our situation." Yes, it can. Or at least it possibly could (since it's hard to say from a distance) Your son lives with his mum. Of course, you are his family, too, but still you are the one who "left" (no matter whether you were actually the one who left, but you are the one that isn't there all the time). Even if you get on well with your divorced or seperated partner, kids tend to have a fear of loss. He has already "lost" you to a certain extend and if he gets on well with you, which, from your description, I don't doubt, he may be frightened to lose more of you or to lose you altogether. So he might pull the same trick that a lot of ADD kids do when they don't feel protected by their everyday family environment.

    I am not saying that that is the case with your son, but it's worth considering whether it possibly could be. (Which would still not solve all the other problems and concerns there seem to be.)

     
    Old 04-09-2005, 10:17 AM   #14
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    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by gipsy-7
    Obviously from afar I can't tell you whether it applies in your son's case, that may well be debatable. In general, the reason the doctor gave is quite a common phenomenon, I have heard it many times that parents report that and I have also made a similar experience with my daughter, in this case concerning school.

    She goes to school until around 1.00 pm and her distractability and lack of concentration was also noticeable at school. However, she behaved very well at school and "fell apart" the minute I picked her up and she used to have very bad tantrums in the next two hours or so.

    The reason is dead simple: At home she feels secure, she doesn't have to fight for affection. We love her, no matter what and she knows that. She can "afford" to freak out without having to fear any consequences other than trouble with her parents and brother and sisters. She won't lose our affection.

    At school it is a totally different situation. She is quite aware (years of experience) that elsewhere people start to dislike her and behave negatively towards her if she behaves like that. So she held it all together there and as soon as she felt the security of her family she let it all out. And because she pulled herself together all morning she used so much energy to achieve this that the tantrums she had in the early afternoon were quite bad.

    Now you will probably say: "But I am his Dad, I am his family, I love him no matter what, so this explanation cannot apply to our situation." Yes, it can. Or at least it possibly could (since it's hard to say from a distance) Your son lives with his mum. Of course, you are his family, too, but still you are the one who "left" (no matter whether you were actually the one who left, but you are the one that isn't there all the time). Even if you get on well with your divorced or seperated partner, kids tend to have a fear of loss. He has already "lost" you to a certain extend and if he gets on well with you, which, from your description, I don't doubt, he may be frightened to lose more of you or to lose you altogether. So he might pull the same trick that a lot of ADD kids do when they don't feel protected by their everyday family environment.

    I am not saying that that is the case with your son, but it's worth considering whether it possibly could be. (Which would still not solve all the other problems and concerns there seem to be.)
    I would think being able to pull it together for a few hours at school would be ALOT different from being able to magically pull it together for a weekend or an entire week though in the case of the OP. JMO
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    Old 04-09-2005, 10:27 AM   #15
    Jennita
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    Join Date: Dec 2002
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    Jennita HB User
    Re: Turning ADHD on and Off?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sassykitten74
    Thank you for the information, I do appreciate it. My DH has begged his ex to let SS move here to be with us and to at least give it a chance(she refuses to believe us when we tell her he just does NOT act this way when he's with us!!) before meds, but she refuses. Why she'd want to put her son on potentially dangerous meds before at least trying to see if he'd be better off with his father is beyond me. She put him on the stratarra without my husband's permission, knowing it was against his wishes. They do have joint custody so she is not legally entitled to leave my DH out of these decisons. It seems like these drs. are too fast to put a label on SS and his mom seems to be fine with it all?? I think the poor kid could use someone to talk to (therapy) but beyond that I just honestly do not see anything wrong with him. His mom has put him through alot in his life and I really just think he feels more loved and secure here with his dad. Hopefully we'll be able to get something worked out for him. Thanks again-
    Well, I really hate it when one parent thinks they can just make such important decisions without consulting the other, especially since joint custody means joint decision/agreement where the kids are concerned. It shows the parent doesn't respect the rules and it's just plain inconsiderate and rude.

    Well, hopefully you can do something for the boy. If he ends up with mood swings( usually aggression and crying) from the drugs it might be harder to deal with him as time goes on....so that ultimately effects you and your husband too.

    The main reason my nephew was taken off ADD drugs by my brother-in-law was because of the mood swings....my brother-in-law did not like the idea that the doctor's answer to the side effects was to up the dose more. But my nephew seemed to end up doing better in school (school problems was original problem) once off the drugs, so go figure!

    Good luck!

     
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