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  • I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

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    Old 03-16-2010, 12:27 PM   #1
    mccmelissa
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    I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    So... I'm naturally an extremely quiet person, i keep to myself and im always worried about something. It's difficult to reach out to people and be social when I'm so anxious. I try to fight it but i have really low self-esteem and i feel like life's going nowhere. i cant see myself doing something or going somewhere that will make me happy. It makes me feel hopeless... I'm a senior in highschool but it seems to be getting more and more difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. I stare at the clock and scribble down a countdown of the time left till the bell rings on my papers. I always want to go go go somewhere and get out. Notes appear on the board faster than I can concentrate on them and i constantly forget about papers and projects assigned. Teachers talk and tal but my thought run rampage. Actually my friends joke and say its like i have alzeimers... i just forget i think cuz i dont pay attention enough to remember anything told to me in the first place. I'm exhausted all the time, its like i have no energy. no matter how much i sleep. i have difficulty falling asleep at night and i toss and turn but when i get home from school i take 3 hour naps. I never feel refreshed anymore.
    I've tried going to bed earlier. I just lay there restlessly for hours. I drink coffee afterschool... sometimes in the morning but i still end up taking naps right after i finish them when i get home. It's soo hard to wake up for school. I know people hear that a lot from teenagers but sumtimes it's so bad i just wanna curl up and hide from the world because of the thought of getting up that tired and zombie-like is so horrible it makes me anxious and depressed. I've also tried excercizing, like lifting weights and doing aerobics, and drinking plenty of water...i have salad at school everyday. I honestly did not notice any difference.
    At school my attendence is dropping... which makes me even more worried and anxious about credit deductions and so forth... college's can change their mind on acceptances. that entire important decision process is something i keep putting off. I feel so guilty, like I'm being lazy and irresponsible... but these mood swings and the total lack of energy makes me feel like I have no control over my emotions.
    I honestly think the main, if only reason, I'm depressed is the constant worry and stress I feel because of college and the future... having a new boyfriend... among other things. So many things worry me i cant even name them, they overwhelm me.
    I love being with my boyfriend... but there's always something holding me back- im so quiet and anxious that i feel like I'm going crazy and I got to keep it all inside and hide it from him or else he'll think I'm nuts. I know this is illogical because he loves me and understands when i actually do talk about it but i can't help but think it anyway, and of course worry. If this doesnt stop i might end up pushing him away and i love him too much to even think about that but. i just dont know anymore
    I wouldn't be so stressed out if I could only stay focused. If I could stop thinking about the million and one things constantly running through my mind worrying me... it's no wonder im exhausted... Maybe it's just the lack of sleep making me down and lethargic? I'm such a procastinator in school now and i absolutely hate the thought of homework.. of doing anything... its like my motivation is gone. i so wish i had the energy for an afterschool job...Sometimes i have up moods, and sometimes i feel so low i just cry and cry and feel like the world is closing in around me. oh.. and my pulse is always at a constant race, its kind of unnerving.

    I tried generic adderall XR once... yes... unprescribed.... it was during a time when my mood was so low i thought i was literally gunna mentally snap and lose all sanity... I was home alone all day and i had nowhere to go or anyone to see because ive been pushing my friends away and i dont even realize it most of the time. I didn't take it to get 'high' .... i took it as a desperate attempt to feel normal... i know this self medication was wrong of me and i shouldnt have done it but...
    I took this 20mg pill and i actually... started to feel like Ok... It was like I was more optimistic and easygoing. I found that i was actually talkative for once in my life. I was socializing and connecting with people and thats something i never would have been comfortable with before but suddenly i felt confident in my own skin. I liked who i was. I was happy, i felt motivated to do my homework, i had a great day just talking and spending time with my boyfriend, and i honestly felt at ease and wasn't extremely worried... the only thing that i didnt like was that i had difficulty falling asleep that night...but after months and months of being so exhausted and feeling like a zombie the healthy energy I felt during the day made me feel normal and refreshed. To have this burden ive been living with so easily removed was amazing. and yet now i am devastated. I know doctors will just label me as depressed and never prescribe me adderall... I know antidepressants arent happy pills... Is that so bad? to want to be happy? I truly believe adderall made me be myself if that makes sense...Who i am without all the mixed emotions i battle with in my head or without all the ridiculous brain signals telling me to worry, be anxious, and feel down.
    What should I say to my doctor? it's not like i can tell them i've illegally tried aderrall... I really think this medication helps me, especially if i were to take it in a smaller dose... I just wish my doctors would think this too without labeling me off to antidepressants... and dismissing a drug that makes me normal. but who knows... maybe i have all three: depression ADD and anxiety disorder. lol why cant i be normal, i have no clue what to do. advice?

     
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    Old 03-16-2010, 03:48 PM   #2
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    Re: I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    Since you did not get replies,as yet,I will offer my thoughts.We are discouraged from giving advice since experts in their field are paid to give advice and assistance.I agree with that premise,and hope that you can get some help from the professionals.I would think that you could get a "workup" from these people,and get an intelligent diagnosis.There are many books on improving your "self" stuff.Keep it simple in your search, so you won't be overwhelmed with data.You can do it to get better. Grandfatherly love...Bill

     
    Old 03-26-2010, 07:16 PM   #3
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    Re: I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    My experience has been that Dr's are more interested in giving you pills than in a diagnosis so, schedule an appointment. Answer the Dr's questions with brief honest answers. Nothing more, nothing less. I did not mention previous stimulant usage in my apt. and he didn't ask. I did not mention anxiety which can be a side effect of Adderall and he did not ask. I did not want to take anything that would reduce my sex drive or make me gain weight; just be direct and ask for what you believe you need. Also, he prescribes 60 mg but, I only take 30. The extended release version is much more expensive and with the regular pills you can stop taking them earlier hence better sleep. I have not had problems sleeping on Adderall.

     
    Old 11-03-2010, 10:56 AM   #4
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    Re: I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    I may be way off base, but have you been tested for any kind of sleep disorder? I was diagnosed with ADHD, but I also have Sleep Apnea and have felt a lot like you describe until both conditions were treated. I wear a CPAP and take Adderall XR along with Lexapro. I do feel much better. I work full time and am getting my masters online (in education). I almost had to drop out of the program, but now am doing very well.

    I would be completely honest with your doctor about your symptoms, what drugs you have taken (prescribed or otherwise), and how the drugs affected you. Your doctor can't make an accurate diagnosis until they have ALL the facts. I would also see if they could run labs for any auto immune issues.

    Your doctor shouldn't be there to judge you, but to help you reach a healthy outcome. It sounds like you are looking at things from a negative viewpoint (which is completely understandable with frustration, exhaustion, and depression). You should give your doctor a chance to work with you. If that isn't happening; think about getting a second opinion.

    Good luck with your search for answers.

    Last edited by BeckyC1; 11-03-2010 at 10:58 AM.

     
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    Old 11-04-2010, 02:42 PM   #5
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    Re: I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    Hey there, first to start,if your boyfriend cares for you then he will understand. Second If the Adderall worked then go see a professional and ask for it hun,the more you delay taking sumthing to help you, more than you know will fall appart. Im not an expert and is just my thought for you to be happy and do well in life,school,and relationships, I hope everything works out hun and wish you lots of luck.
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    Old 11-11-2010, 10:14 AM   #6
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    Re: I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    I agree with RANDOL, you need to tell your doctor what you want. you dont have to say that you have already taken adderall, just tell them that your friend was prescribed it (as I told another poster with the same question, I would suggest going to the same doc your friend has) and that you guys have the same symptoms and feel you could benefit from it and would like to try it. I bet it could greatly help you! I had the same life as you before adderall, I got up, watched my son play while I layed on the couch wishiing I had the motivation to clean and play with him more! Adderall has changed my life for the best! I would suggest getting some blood work done while you are at the doc just to check your thyroid, make sure you dont have anemia, etc. Good luck 2 ya!

     
    Old 12-16-2010, 01:02 PM   #7
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    Re: I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    Found out a few years ago that I am ADD. Started taking adderall 20mg, 2X a day then moved to the xr because well I would forget to take the second pill after lunch. But wow it was a night and day difference when I took the pill. Being able to focus on what I am doing, socializing with ppl, paying extreme attention to detail and the energy I feel though out the day -- I could not be a better man today without it.
    The only thing with the adderall that I noticed was that it kept me up later at night. Im a night owl as it is and am used to 5 hrs of sleep but when I was taking the adderall i was only getting around 2-3 hrs a night. I have sinse moved from adderall to vyvanse, very similar but doesn't keep me up at night. On the weekends I usually don't take my pills and end up staring at the walls

    It would be best if you were to research your symptoms prior to seeing a doctor (My opinion). I do know that ADD/ADHD, depression and anxiety can have the same symptoms. It seemed that my old doc I would see was more interested in the appointments vs fixing my problem, he gets paid for every visit not the prescriptions he writes.

     
    Old 03-05-2011, 05:57 PM   #8
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    Re: I think i have ADD or depression...i tried adderall... :/ help?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by mccmelissa View Post
    So... I'm naturally an extremely quiet person, i keep to myself and im always worried about something. It's difficult to reach out to people and be social when I'm so anxious. I try to fight it but i have really low self-esteem and i feel like life's going nowhere. i cant see myself doing something or going somewhere that will make me happy. It makes me feel hopeless... I'm a senior in highschool but it seems to be getting more and more difficult to concentrate on schoolwork. I stare at the clock and scribble down a countdown of the time left till the bell rings on my papers. I always want to go go go somewhere and get out. Notes appear on the board faster than I can concentrate on them and i constantly forget about papers and projects assigned. Teachers talk and tal but my thought run rampage. Actually my friends joke and say its like i have alzeimers... i just forget i think cuz i dont pay attention enough to remember anything told to me in the first place. I'm exhausted all the time, its like i have no energy. no matter how much i sleep. i have difficulty falling asleep at night and i toss and turn but when i get home from school i take 3 hour naps. I never feel refreshed anymore.
    I've tried going to bed earlier. I just lay there restlessly for hours. I drink coffee afterschool... sometimes in the morning but i still end up taking naps right after i finish them when i get home. It's soo hard to wake up for school. I know people hear that a lot from teenagers but sumtimes it's so bad i just wanna curl up and hide from the world because of the thought of getting up that tired and zombie-like is so horrible it makes me anxious and depressed. I've also tried excercizing, like lifting weights and doing aerobics, and drinking plenty of water...i have salad at school everyday. I honestly did not notice any difference.
    At school my attendence is dropping... which makes me even more worried and anxious about credit deductions and so forth... college's can change their mind on acceptances. that entire important decision process is something i keep putting off. I feel so guilty, like I'm being lazy and irresponsible... but these mood swings and the total lack of energy makes me feel like I have no control over my emotions.
    I honestly think the main, if only reason, I'm depressed is the constant worry and stress I feel because of college and the future... having a new boyfriend... among other things. So many things worry me i cant even name them, they overwhelm me.
    I love being with my boyfriend... but there's always something holding me back- im so quiet and anxious that i feel like I'm going crazy and I got to keep it all inside and hide it from him or else he'll think I'm nuts. I know this is illogical because he loves me and understands when i actually do talk about it but i can't help but think it anyway, and of course worry. If this doesnt stop i might end up pushing him away and i love him too much to even think about that but. i just dont know anymore
    I wouldn't be so stressed out if I could only stay focused. If I could stop thinking about the million and one things constantly running through my mind worrying me... it's no wonder im exhausted... Maybe it's just the lack of sleep making me down and lethargic? I'm such a procastinator in school now and i absolutely hate the thought of homework.. of doing anything... its like my motivation is gone. i so wish i had the energy for an afterschool job...Sometimes i have up moods, and sometimes i feel so low i just cry and cry and feel like the world is closing in around me. oh.. and my pulse is always at a constant race, its kind of unnerving.

    I tried generic adderall XR once... yes... unprescribed.... it was during a time when my mood was so low i thought i was literally gunna mentally snap and lose all sanity... I was home alone all day and i had nowhere to go or anyone to see because ive been pushing my friends away and i dont even realize it most of the time. I didn't take it to get 'high' .... i took it as a desperate attempt to feel normal... i know this self medication was wrong of me and i shouldnt have done it but...
    I took this 20mg pill and i actually... started to feel like Ok... It was like I was more optimistic and easygoing. I found that i was actually talkative for once in my life. I was socializing and connecting with people and thats something i never would have been comfortable with before but suddenly i felt confident in my own skin. I liked who i was. I was happy, i felt motivated to do my homework, i had a great day just talking and spending time with my boyfriend, and i honestly felt at ease and wasn't extremely worried... the only thing that i didnt like was that i had difficulty falling asleep that night...but after months and months of being so exhausted and feeling like a zombie the healthy energy I felt during the day made me feel normal and refreshed. To have this burden ive been living with so easily removed was amazing. and yet now i am devastated. I know doctors will just label me as depressed and never prescribe me adderall... I know antidepressants arent happy pills... Is that so bad? to want to be happy? I truly believe adderall made me be myself if that makes sense...Who i am without all the mixed emotions i battle with in my head or without all the ridiculous brain signals telling me to worry, be anxious, and feel down.
    What should I say to my doctor? it's not like i can tell them i've illegally tried aderrall... I really think this medication helps me, especially if i were to take it in a smaller dose... I just wish my doctors would think this too without labeling me off to antidepressants... and dismissing a drug that makes me normal. but who knows... maybe i have all three: depression ADD and anxiety disorder. lol why cant i be normal, i have no clue what to do. advice?
    I experience the same thing in the sense that I always have to go go go. I've been diagnosed with ADHD and have never used anything for it. But this now makes me curious as to whether it will at very least solve some of the problems I have with it.

    Thank you for sharing this.

     
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