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  • Can't do this anymore, please help

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    Old 04-26-2003, 09:20 PM   #1
    bellyofthebeast's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2003
    Location: Delphi, Utah
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    bellyofthebeast HB User
    Post Can't do this anymore, please help

    I have a condition called interstitial cystitis, which basically means it feels like I have a serious bladder infection 24/7. I've had this for about 3 years now, and I've been on painkillers for 21/2 years. It's been over a year since I've gone a day without at least one pill. At my worst, I took about 6 norco, 2 tylox, and 2 10 mg oxycontin a day. I am currently at my best, which is between 1 1/4 and 1 3/4 lortab a day. I've been at this level for about 2 months now, and I think I'm ready to try and go completely clean - by which I mean I'm ready for the pain, but I don't know how to deal with the psychological and withdrawl aspect of this. Don't get me wrong, I do have an actual physical problem for which I have been prescribed painkillers that do help my pain, but they're royally screwing my life and I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm tired all the time, I count the hours until I can take my next 1/4 and I feel like I spend my whole day trying to achieve tis pefect feeling that it's become pretty clear these pills are not going to give me. I want out, but I'm not sure how to do it. Plus, the next time I have a kidney infection, UTI, bladder infection, etc., I'll have to take the medication, and I'm afraid I'll fall down the same slippery slope. Nobody in my life knows about this, and I can't tell them because they'd never understand. I'm only 24, I'm about to graduate from college, and I need to be done with this. This would probably be easier if I couldn't get prescriptions, if I had to go to illegal or dangerous extremes to feed this need, but because everyone assured me this was MEDICATION and not drugs, I thought I was safe. Drugs of some sort have been part of my life for 6 years now, on and off, and I'm so scared I'm going to spend my whole life this way. So my question is, How do I do this? I've never been physically addicted to a drug before, and the withdrawls I experienced, in addition to the pain of this condition, made being awake almost unbearable. How do I create a life for myself outside of all my little pills? Should I wait until next weekend, when I don't have to work? I can't FATHOM working through withdrawls.
    I know I can do this, I'm smart, I'm strong, and I truly have the desire, but I am so, so scared. I've arranged my whole life around this addiction, and while I've taken steps to reduce the problem, the main thing is I'm still taking meds throughout the day, just much less. I need help. Any advice will be gratefull received.

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    Old 05-05-2003, 05:05 PM   #2
    ToniDLO's Avatar
    Join Date: May 2003
    Location: C'ville Ks USA
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    Hello. Hope you are still checking this message board. I happened to run across your message while looking for a way for my boyfriend to get relief from the withdrawls of Lortab. He too had intersticial cystitis for about 14 years. He tried adjusting his diet, tried Algonot Plus, glucosamine, PreRelief and whatever else available to help with the pain. Nothing worked well for him and after fighting it for so long, he decided to have surgery and have his bladder removed. Before having his surgery, his doctor put him on Morphine and Lortab to help deal with the pain until his surgery date. His surgery went very very well. He now has a urostomy bag and said it was the best decision he has ever made. The worst part of recovery now is getting off the pain pills. He quit the Morphine cold turkey and did he every go through withdrawls, but still had the Lortab to get him through it. Now it has been 3 days since his last Lortab and his legs are hurting so bad it's almost unbearable. The only relief he can get is sitting in a tub of extremely hot water which relieves the pain for about an hour. His doctor did a wonderful job on removing his bladder but has not helped him much as far as getting off the drugs. I think it is so cruel to put someone through this. He has had enough pain in his life. We were both looking forward to enjoying life after his surgery and now he is fighting this! Not sure what I'm trying to tell you here, but if you want off the drugs badly enough, you MUST be mentally ready. You have to fight it a minute, an hour and a day at a time. We have too much life to live and too many things to do. He has definitely wanted to throw in the towel and take a pill, but with my encouragement and his determination we will make it and YOU CAN TOO! You are much too young to be going through this. I wish you the best of luck. Consider the surgery. If you can find a good urologist, it is well worth it...but DON't let them get you hooked on drugs again!

    Old 05-06-2003, 11:31 AM   #3
    Risky Business
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    Join Date: Feb 2003
    Location: logan OH
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    BellyBeast: I can truly appreciate and respect your desire and committment to go to war with your pain. I have tried and it seems most the time my body loses the war with pain.

    That does not mean you will lose or anyone else as well. In my opinion, in all our body's chemistry and differences, there is rarely a way of predicting what may happen with any given circumctance.

    Still, we must try to stay within limits and do as I have done and allowed harmful toxins such as tylenol cause harm to our bodies. I commend you for your intentions.

    I cannot give much advice except tid bits such as don't expect to much too fast. Tapering seems to be a art form and it needs to be done with medical advice.

    Also, this next comment may cause problems. I feel that if you are true in trying and making progress, then there may be times that you may have to take what was once a normal dose once in a while.

    Many may disagree. Knowing limits is essential. Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to the board. WE look forward to hearing your posts.

    May you have the peace and strength you need, we are behind you,

    Warm Regards,

    Risky Business

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