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guilt about leaving my 8 year relationship over a cocaine addiction.




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Old 08-08-2017, 05:28 PM   #1
Cole1231
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guilt about leaving my 8 year relationship over a cocaine addiction.

Hello,
I've been seeing my boyfriend for the past 8-9 years. I love him with all my heart, until about 4 years ago we were the perfect relationship.. one who people were jealous of! Little did I know he has had a cocaine addiction for sometime before he met me.
He has a very bad temper I've been hit he's choked me to where I could barely breathe cheated on me lied straight to my face that many times it would make someone sick he's had a gf on the sly in a different province the list goes on... I'm still here for him though it breaks my heart to see him change so much with this addiction because I got to know who he really is & I feel like there's someone there in his place while is soul is screaming to come out I'm to the point now that I love him I just don't want to be in his life I don't want to be around his friends I just wonder what it's like to be with someone who actually cares about me, I'm wondering what it's like to be with someone knew I've never felt like this in all those years.. I just wonder why I feel so guilty about not talking to him or not wanting to be in his life when he's ****** so much of mine up? How is it even possible to care & I do it kills me knowing that I won't be there for him when he needs me because he doesn't have very many people to be hisself with... maybe I'm just overthinking everything I need help

 
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Old 08-09-2017, 09:23 AM   #2
rosequartz
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Re: guilt about leaving my 8 year relationship over a cocaine addiction..

you sound empathetic....that's part of the problem.
I have the same problem. We want to help people, but we attract the wrong kinds of people into our lives. Takers.....not givers. You feel sorry for him, that's the issue, and he preys on that, trust me. It's possible he's just a bad guy, stop blaming the drug. Why did he get on the drug in the first place? Why did he lie to your face? Why did he cheat? He sounds like a self-absorbed narcissist or even a sociopath. You don't need this.....say buh-bye and don't look back.

 
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Old 08-09-2017, 01:34 PM   #3
sweetpotato13
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Re: guilt about leaving my 8 year relationship over a cocaine addiction.

I think you are very wise to get out. You are a kind and loving woman who still wants to help him. Please know, that is not your problem. Help yourself by realizing you have made the right decision, and stay away from him. You can't fix this and you know it.
Your safety and your happiness are at stake. ((hugs))

 
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Old 08-09-2017, 01:50 PM   #4
Cole1231
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Re: guilt about leaving my 8 year relationship over a cocaine addiction..

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
you sound empathetic....that's part of the problem.
I have the same problem. We want to help people, but we attract the wrong kinds of people into our lives. Takers.....not givers. You feel sorry for him, that's the issue, and he preys on that, trust me. It's possible he's just a bad guy, stop blaming the drug. Why did he get on the drug in the first place? Why did he lie to your face? Why did he cheat? He sounds like a self-absorbed narcissist or even a sociopath. You don't need this.....say buh-bye and don't look back.

I so agree, my heart is to big to see him hurting but I now realize I'm the most important person in my life I need to focus on myself! I've searched about sociopaths and honestly he knocks off eveyrging there! Thanks!!

 
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Old 08-09-2017, 01:52 PM   #5
Cole1231
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Re: guilt about leaving my 8 year relationship over a cocaine addiction.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpotato13 View Post
I think you are very wise to get out. You are a kind and loving woman who still wants to help him. Please know, that is not your problem. Help yourself by realizing you have made the right decision, and stay away from him. You can't fix this and you know it.
Your safety and your happiness are at stake. ((hugs))

After 3 of 4 years of hell Im only now realizing my own self worth I've put my happiness on the back Bruner for way to long!! Thank you

 
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