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  • Going through a really hard time

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    Old 05-10-2018, 12:20 AM   #1
    Join Date: Mar 2018
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    Pinkpolkadot HB User
    Going through a really hard time

    Hey all,

    Thanks for listening. I hope this is the right board to post this on! I am a 26-year-old Master's graduate who just got a degree from USC. When I moved to California, I was in a relationship for two years. Recently, this ended. My ex claimed it was because I drank too much and was abusive at times (I don't recall ever being abusive, but maybe?!) The point is that now I'm going through an AWFUL time. My ex blocked me from all social media, convinced our friends to block me, too, and stopped responding to my texts. They even went so far as to text my dad and tell him that "I should be monitored, and that I don't have a good support system in Cali, since I leaned on them too much, and that I drank too much, etc." My parents were naturally concerned, and are now enrolling me in like a "mental health seminar" type thing like 4 times a week, and also are making me go to alcohol management classes. I guess that maybe my drinking was a little extreme sometimes, but now my ex is making me out to be this psycho. I called their work once when we broke up (I know, moment of weakness), they then texted my dad and said "If she ever calls my work again, I will file a restraining order, effective immediately." Sadly, they were my whole life when I moved to LA. They helped me through everything, and I talked to them everyday. Now, they're clearly done. I have nothing and no one to turn to, and I'm hurting. Any advice?


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    Old 06-01-2018, 09:39 AM   #2
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    Re: Going through a really hard time

    Dear Pinkpolkadot,

    Anyone that at 26 years old can get a Master's degree can take care of herself! I am so impressed! YOU did that. no one handed it to you.

    When someone blocks you from their life, hon, MOVE ON, for the sake of your sanity. You were BLOCKED. stop looking backward and look forward. You don't need to bow down to anyone. Stand up on your own feet girl. If you can get a Masters you can stand up on your own. If you are lonely, get another dog. Other people cannot fix our loneliness.

    BTW, I read a post from you that is no longer posted, and from what I saw, forget the train-wreck of a person that doesn't want you 'hanging on'. That person sounds like a user-loser. Healthy minded people have something to offer and are supportive, not blaming or shaming. Stay away from the past...look to your shining future! I am talking as a 69 year old woman that wishes someone had encouraged me that way. I always thought I needed people and let them use me until I finally grew up and took care of myself. But I wasted a LOT of time with mourning over lost relationships with people that had nothing positive to add to my life.

    Do not do this to yourself again. Do stop the alcohol if you are not one of those people that can limit and handle it (few are). Take pride in who you are and STAY off the booze! Alcohol is a downer.

    Get involved in activities you enjoy and you will be attractive to educated and loving people that are and know how to be genuine supportive friends.

    Your ex is a loser 'no-one' and has nothing positive to add to your life. Stand proudly on your own two feet.

    You go girl.
    ~ YaYa ~

    Last edited by yayagirl; 06-02-2018 at 04:02 PM.

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    Old 06-01-2018, 06:50 PM   #3
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    Re: Going through a really hard time

    Hello. Honestly, you admitted that your drinking was alittle excessive and you sound like a reasonable person when you admit that you called him at work and probably shouldnt have.

    Can you stop to think he might be saving your life or at the very least, doing you a favor?

    Your family seems very concerned. Concerned enough to try to get you help. I would accept that help and give it a try. Worse case scenario? You learn something about yourself. At some point you might look back on this and thank him. He didn't break up with you because everything was peaches and cream...he insists there were problems, and you sound like you are thinking that it's possible there were.

    No one with a drinking problem usually knows they have a problem until they hit rock bottom...doesn't sound like you are quite there yet- but you do sound pretty upset about the recent events. Go to the therapy sessions and see what they are all about. If after a few weeks you are positive you are getting nothing out of it, you can walk away and say you tried.

    Think of it as the class you hated the most at school. We all got through them, and you will get through this too. Who knows? This might be the best thing he ever did for you.

    Stay strong. You are starting a new chapter and its likely to be the best one yet! Give it a really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

    Good luck.
    RRMS- dx 05

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