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  • Just started Suboxone and have already messed up!!



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    Old 08-01-2018, 10:09 PM   #1
    Momto3Cs
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    Just started Suboxone and have already messed up!!

    So, a little history..
    I have been taking (orally) oxycodone (or hydrocodone if I couldnít get oxy) for about 3 years straight. However, I used spontaneously for about 10 years. No one knows about my addiction. I have three young kids, a great job, a fantastic husband, and a loving family. However, I am not ready to admit this to anyone yet.

    I finally saw an Addiction Specialist and started Suboxone 7 days ago. I was scared of what I would feel like on the medicine, so I actually held onto it for a week before I started it. I have taken between 12-16mg a day for the past 6 days. I do. It particularly like the way I feel on it. I get really sleepy, and feel anxious, BUT I had zero withdrawals, so it definitely works.

    However, I left the Suboxone at home today (accidentally- running late to work) and didnít take it. When I got home, I realized I was 28 hours since my last dose and what did I do?? I took a 1/2 of an oxy instead of the subs!!!

    So, what do I do now??? I am so upset with myself.....Do I wait until withdrawal start to go back on the subs? I am so disappointed in myself. And I am going to NA meetings and everything. What kind of person am I to relapse only a week after getting clean and WHILE I am on Suboxone?!?!

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

     
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    Old 02-22-2021, 04:57 PM   #2
    dwo2016
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    Re: Just started Suboxone and have already messed up!!

    momto3cs-Dont give up on yourself yet! This is a process and it took you 10 years to get here so its not going to go away overnight. I just want to encourage you to keep on keeping on. Yes, the medicine definitely does what its supposed to but you have to get rid of the user mindset and accept that you want to move forward in recovery. The withdrawals is the hardest part physically.....by far, but the mental part is just as much of a struggle in the beginning. But, little by little you will feel the monkey getting off of your back because the desire or need to get right will fade and the life of normalcy will begin to reappear. I know you said you didn't tell anyone yet about your situation but even though it is not a comfortable conversation, it is a conversation that needs to be made nonetheless. Once this is out in the open it will make you be more accountable to your program of recovery because people will not only be watching, but they will also be there to support you. Don't let the devil tell you that your a failure because just the simple fact that you want to get this behind you and get your life back is reason enough to celebrate in itself! I don't know where you stand spiritually, but for me reconnecting to my Christian roots really helped me get through the tough times and I met a couple wonderful people who help support me in my struggles through prayer and counsel which is always a win in my book. I hope you are able to push through because there is a light at the end of the tunnel......just get up when you fall and keep looking forward. It is looking backwards that will bring you down. Know where you want to be and go there! You and your family will be better for it in the long run! You can do this!!!!!

     
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