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SruggleIsReal 05-12-2020 09:30 PM

Drug Screens
I think mental health is a huge part of addiction recovery and addiction in general. Addiction comes in many forms. Personally, mine is more physical than it is mental. If i didn't have to go through the physical pain my body experiences when I don't medicate, then I would have no issue to speak of. Suboxone works for me. It gives me no high, what so ever, but it makes me feel normal. I can even go a day or two without taking it and i feel just fine. I went from taking 20 to 30 10mg tablets of some form of hydrocodone a day, to ZERO. My story begins like most. I had a series of surgeries that required some pain management and when the time came and there were no more refills, my problem evolved.
I know a lot of people are worried about their drug screens. TRUST ME, i get it. This worked for me, so if i can help ONE single person to look at it the way that i do and it work for them, then it's worth sharing my shameful story.
Once I was ready to be clean, I was ready. I have no used in 7 years other than 2 surgeries i had. i was successfully able to get off of suboxone, take my pain meds as prescribed by my surgeon, and shift back onto my suboxone and oh boy did that make me FINALLY feel in control of my life and my choices. I now view my drug screenings as trophies and even more so if i have to do blood work. When i had surgery, even knowing they would not test the strength of what was in my system having known that there would be narcotics there, i took massive pride in knowing that if my doctor were to check my levels, that they would coincide with what i was prescribed to be taking as far as the dosage at a time and in the timed increments set forth by my doctor.
I don't consider myself to be clean because i still take suboxone. I take one 8mg strip and i fold it in half and then again and then again one more time, essentially making 1 strip into 8 tiny squares. I take one square a day and on my bad days i take 2 squares. I started where most of start, by taking 2 1/2 to 3 WHOLE 8mg strips a day. I've recently discovered that there is a 4mg strip. I had not been made aware that those were an option. I am at a point where I can no longer afford the expensive CASH doctor visit anymore and no longer afford the prescription cost. I know suboxone has a blocker in it and from what i understand subutex does not, so does it make sense that changing from suboxone to subutex is a good move to angle toward getting off of all of it all together? I say that because it would make sense to me to now move to something with no blockers in it, or am i completely wrong in the perspective that i am viewing this from? I'm ready to be done with this and be able to go on about my day like the rest of the world and use other things in life as a crutch, if any. Many people get up every single day and don't use crutches such as a substance. Why can't I be one of them. The answer is I CAN, and so can you. I would love to have someone share in my journey to remove the suboxone crutch from my life. If you have been through this struggle, please reach out. Be my inspiration and maybe i can be a small part of your story.

don't hate your drug screens. Look at them as your achievements. Trophies.
With the virus going around everyone is doing Telemedicine and i asked my doctor if i needed to swing by at some point anyway to do my drug screen and he asked how many i had skipped and inside i immediately felt worthless.I take tramendeous pride in my CLEAN drug screens. I have never skipped any. I then reasoned with myself by reminding myself that he sees so many patients and there is no way that i would stand out in his mind for my perfect attendance of screens and them coming back perfectly clean, especially when it's his staff that collects them anyway,not him. TAKE PRIDE in your trophies. Don't dodge them. you are cheating yourself if you do.

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