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-   -   my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep. (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/addiction-recovery/145295-my-husband-passed-away-wednesday-night-his-sleep.html)

sweetpoison68 01-27-2004 04:37 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
[QUOTE=Happy Father]hi, i'm franks wife lisa and i realize my husband befriended some of you on this board. he passed away 1/21/04 in his sleep around 11:30 pm. he was a wonderfull loving husband and father to me and his 2 young children. we buried him sunday, it was an emotional ceromony with over 400 friends and family. this man i loved so much gave and gave, i have to stop for awhile and catch my breath. i knew of his addiction, he tried so hard to fight his hydrocodone issues, he was so close to going to a betty ford clinic for a month, i'm not sure how much he was taking, he would say 10-15 per day but looking on here it looked much worse. i won't have a cause of death for a month they say to know for sure what happened but i think it may have some impact on his life, he only used pain pills so maybe that wasn't the reason he died so young?. but his breathing was getting so bad and he was so lifeless and hurting in the mornings thats why he and i knew it was time to get real help. i don't understand all this and with counsling maybe someone can explain what and why. for now i just thought you people should know he is gone from us and our family. i hope he helped some here like he helped so many other people in his life, i only cry and wonder why he couldn't help himself?. he loved his kids so much, his son is 7 months and his daughter just turned 6, she is so sad and hurting, unfortunatly i have only seen her once since wednesday, the wake and funeral. well i need to go, if you have anything for my memory that he said or did for anyone i would really appricate it and maybe help me smile.

god bless and may you be safe and free from your disease.

lisa[/QUOTE]
LISA AND FAMILY
I am very very sorry to hear of your husbands passing!!!!
I didnt talk to him for i dont come here much lately.I do remember his posts though.. I just want to offer my condolenses{SP?}to you and your family.I am absolutely certain you will find the strength,love and support right here!!!!! Anytime you feel you need a friend we are here..May god bless!!Keepin your family in my prayers!!
SP68

lane7eir 01-27-2004 06:05 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
lisa-
if i remember right, your husband replied to some posts of mine involving my husbands hydrocodone addiction. he made me feel like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. i am so sorry for your loss. it is so unfathomable to me. please accept my condolences and god bless you and yours.

everyone else-
there is help out there! all you have to do is ask!!!!!!

hugs!!!
laney

deerme 01-27-2004 06:41 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
I dont post much anymore, I have never talked to your husband. I have read your posts, and I hurt so bad inside right now, for you. These pills are amazing in their ability to hook you way past the barb, and never let you go. I will keep you and your children in my prayers. The parallel, between your family and mine is a little scary, to me. My wife is also a PT, I have a hydrocodone addiction, and would never ever, reveal the real amount I take. My shoulder looks like a road map, and I feel like crap in the morning, also. Thinking about this has put my mind in a blank, I have to go now.

bluejulie5 01-27-2004 07:25 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
Lisa
I am so sorry.
In tears right now.
When he posted, he talked a lot about wanting help.
Julie

StacyVictor 01-27-2004 07:30 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
Dear Lisa, I am sooooooooo sorry for your loss. My husband died in March of 2003 of an accidental overdose. He also died in his sleep. He was only 30 years old and had 3 very young little girls, these were children of previous relationships. We were not living together at the time of his death because of his addiction problem. This board really gave me lots of comfort in my time of grief. Not only was I sad that Shane was gone but I felt so guilty. Everyone had told me how sad he was that I had asked him to move out and I have always felt that it was a little my fault for not being there for him. Nonetheless, just because we weren't living together did not mean that I didn't love him with all my heart. I know how hard it is for you right now. This past years eve I thought about what he had said just a short year before, "This is going to be the happiest year of my life, I finally have somebody that really loves me and I am really looking forward to the coming year". Little did I know, huh. I am not going to lie to you and tell you that you will ever completely get over this. You won't. I feel like my life changed forever on March 17, 2003 and I will always be just a little bit sadder now. I remember the day of his funeral so clearly. It was a beautiful spring day and I remember standing at the gas pump putting gas in my car and looking up at the sky and thinking 'how can life just go on....I mean nothing changes......everybody is just living their life like nothing has happened' it made me so angry. It was like nothing had changed, but it did for me! I was addicted to pain killers for years...after Shane's death I found a drug called Suboxone and I have been "clean" every since. I figured the best thing I could do to honor him was to get clean. As I write this, tears are falling from my eyes because I know the absolute pain that you are feeling right now. I remember thinking that I'll never feel happy again. I just wanted the pain to go away. It did Lisa, I swear to you that it did. I'm not going to tell you that it was over night. It has been almost a year now, but it gets better with each day. Shane's death changed me. I look at life totally different now. I never take any day for granted. Life is so short. I embrace my children like I never did before. In fact, my life is consummed by my 6 year old. Nobody comes before her. I am a better mother and a better person now. I have always believed in life after death, or something anyway, at this point, I haven't been lucky enought to have my precious Shane come to me and let me know he is okay, but I feel that he is. I know he has to be happy or at least I hope that he is. I think of him every day. There have been a few times that I have wanted to tell him something and then realize he is gone. But I talk to him a lot. It helps. I also remember having to wait the 6 weeks for the autopsy report to come back. It was horrible. Although I knew what it was going to say, I guess I just needed to read it. It said what I thought it would say. He just took too many pills one night. It was probably the same amount he usually took, but his body had just had enough. That is what usually happens. Maybe your husband's body just had enough. You never know what that threshold will be, you know. Anyway, I don't post on this board very much anymore, I guess I am trying to put everything behind me, but I do lurk a lot and appreciate everybody and everything. I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain that you are feeling right now. Please know that each and every person on this board is praying for you and that there is light after the dark. I never believed it when I was in the depths of my dispear but I promise you, it will get better and please if you need a shoulder to cry on, everyone at this board is here for you. Let us know how you are doing and you will be in my thoughts today........Stacy

Twinlynn 01-27-2004 09:33 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
Dear Lisa,

I am so, so sorry for you--and that I did not have the chance to know your husband other than through reading his posts the past few months.

Yesterday, I arrived home after ten day's vacation, prepared to post an up-beat, humorous note on tapering and withdrawal--while on a ski trip. But the second I read your message, all that went out the window. I just had to tell you how my heart dropped--and how in an instant, my vacation became an insignificant something of the past. Something I could not write about until I have thought through--and acknowledged--your terrible loss. It is life's hardest blow to lose someone you love. And all talk of it "getting better'--though so true--can do nothing to relieve your despair at this time.

But, reading of others' warm-hearted feelings towards your husband--and his kindnesses....plus gleaning further insight into his strugge...may give you a chance to share the memories with those who understand. I wish I had more specifics...but I've just been on the Board a month...and my only contribution of information about your husband is that from the first time I read one of his posts--and noted that his Board name was "Happy Father"--I thought that said so much about him...about how he loved his family. It was a name that made you feel good everytime you saw it.

Perhaps, it will be of some comfort to stay on this board for awhile just for the purpose of understanding exactly what it was that your husband was struggling with--and how difficult it was to halt the onslaught of more and more pills--even though his family was the most important thing in the world to him. And, how, if we on this Board are truthful with ourselves, we will realize that we have convinced ourselves, that we will never, ever be amongst those who will die. Because if we could by some miracle look into our future--and know the date we would lose the battle--I think we would stop in our tracks. No matter how hard the withdrawal. Our faith in our own bodies to "carry on" with somehow absorbing all these drugs safely, is a part of our inner belief, even as we repeatedly speak of stopping. And your husband's death tells us--in one horrible wrench--that this is not true.

Maybe, reading the board at this current point is just too painful to continue...but it is here for you. Although I've just joined, I've read so much--and there seems to be a solid core of loving people out there, who can at least empathize with what you are going through...and cry with you.

so very, very sorry, Lynn

Best Friend 01-27-2004 10:35 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
Dear Lisa. I am "TwinLynn's" twin, Alice, also on this Board. Twins have a tendency to 'think and write' alike...so, I will not repeat and make you read the same sentiments twice, but please do know how sorry I am about your dear husband (and this Board's friend), "Happy Father." I've met some of the kindest, brightest, witty people on this Board. It makes this whole 'addiction issue' so frustrating...and sad. I hope, over time, you'll be comforted by your husband's strength and determination in coming to this Board and trying to become a "true Happy Father" to you and your children. Please try and stay in touch here for a bit, if you can...I just know you will get lots of support and, perhaps, a deeper understanding of pill addiction. It happens in the most loving, smartest, devoted families... Take good care of yourself.
TwinAlice

Eggman 01-27-2004 11:14 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
Lisa,
I am so sorry for your loss, and am reminded of the sorrow I felt after my Brother was killed.
We were so close that we even shared our opiate addiction. before I could grieve I had to let go of the anger I had towards God and my brother for scheming to relieve him from the tortures of addiction, and I was forced to be alive and suffer as an addict. That was in Jan 2001. I am clean and sober today
and whenever I hear of someone dying it reminds me how fragile we are.
My family has kept close together after the death of our loved one and we keep his memory alive through a charity golf tournament where we raise money for ogan donation. This is a wonderfull time and we only cry a little these days when we miss him .
I understand some of the feelings that you might be experiencing now . Please remember that your senses are the object of these feelings and your soul is an observer, connect you soul to good and you can deal with your loss in peace.

The Eggman

ps: some people say that God is good, some believe there is some good in everyone , I believe in alot.

bluejulie5 01-27-2004 02:09 PM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
Lisa, its julie again.
I lost my first husband about 12 years ago, and it left me to raise my boys, at that time they were 31/2 and 1.
I know what you are going through. He died very suddenly; a stranger shot him.
then, a few years after that i lost my only sibling to cancer.
i have been through hell, but please understand that it DOES get better.
please email me if you need a friend ok?
[COLOR=Sienna][removed][/COLOR]
I am very sorry for your loss.
julie

DCV 01-28-2004 06:54 AM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
HappyFather, life has a way of reaching out and slapping us in the face when we least expect it. Your in my thoughts. And to all fellow pill poppers, need any further incentive to quit now?

Murphy555 01-28-2004 09:17 PM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
Hello Lissa,

I was just about to shut off my computer when I saw your post.
I don't know if I ever communicated with Frank.
But my heart goes out to you and your family.
I'm sure he made some good friends here and there are alot of people here today, that share so much with him - and probably got so much from him as a human being.

prayers are with you
Murphy

rsrser 06-01-2005 03:09 PM

Re: my husband passed away wednesday night in his sleep.
 
[QUOTE=Happy Father]hi, i'm franks wife lisa and i realize my husband befriended some of you on this board. he passed away 1/21/04 in his sleep around 11:30 pm. he was a wonderfull loving husband and father to me and his 2 young children. we buried him sunday, it was an emotional ceromony with over 400 friends and family. this man i loved so much gave and gave, i have to stop for awhile and catch my breath. i knew of his addiction, he tried so hard to fight his hydrocodone issues, he was so close to going to a betty ford clinic for a month, i'm not sure how much he was taking, he would say 10-15 per day but looking on here it looked much worse. i won't have a cause of death for a month they say to know for sure what happened but i think it may have some impact on his life, he only used pain pills so maybe that wasn't the reason he died so young?. but his breathing was getting so bad and he was so lifeless and hurting in the mornings thats why he and i knew it was time to get real help. i don't understand all this and with counsling maybe someone can explain what and why. for now i just thought you people should know he is gone from us and our family. i hope he helped some here like he helped so many other people in his life, i only cry and wonder why he couldn't help himself?. he loved his kids so much, his son is 7 months and his daughter just turned 6, she is so sad and hurting, unfortunatly i have only seen her once since wednesday, the wake and funeral. well i need to go, if you have anything for my memory that he said or did for anyone i would really appricate it and maybe help me smile.

god bless and may you be safe and free from your disease.

lisa[/QUOTE]


So I figured out how to Quote. This is the first one.....


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