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    Old 03-06-2004, 12:21 PM   #16
    John 808
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Thanks upatnight! My husband has swiped my dictionary (it is at his office) and I looked it up in my daughter's toddler dictionary and suprise, suprise...it wasn't in there! LOL!

    I wish I knew what Yinksy was referring to when she said, "I can play platitudes with the best of them." Our posts/conversations between one another are dull and commonplace?

    Anyway, thanks for filling me in...I got a little jab on the other thread for not knowing what it meant, so I am glad to see that I am not the only "dummy" around here!

    Take care- about to go see "The Passion..." am very excited. Check in with ya'll later,
    MIchelle

    Last edited by John 808; 03-06-2004 at 12:21 PM.

     
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    Old 03-06-2004, 12:51 PM   #17
    Mart7
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    I am just sitting here watching "Ground Hog Day". Very funny movie. I know this is way out in left field, but doesn't it feel like we're all in our own little Ground Hog Day? (I'm not referring to this board, but I mean in our lives.) I know I have just felt that so strong with my husband lately .... like I keep saying the same things over and over and he keeps making the same promises over and over... Sorry to digress... I hope you are all doing well, you're a great group of people!

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 12:55 PM   #18
    Banker
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Mart - yes, I can relate somewhat to my past experiences. However, right now I've seemed to (for now and knock on wood, and thank God) get my life in order. Even though I'm having to use medication for it but I'm in a better place now than I've ever been. If you don't mind me asking, what is your story? I can't remember... Maybe we should start a new thread so you can fill me in? By the way, that movie drove me nuts! I couldn't take it. I didn't think it would ever end. However, I have no patience so that's just me. Most people I know love that movie. Anyway, take care and post me if you are bored or just would like to fill me in. Thanks!

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 01:04 PM   #19
    Mart7
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Banker-
    I will post an update on what is going on with us -- I haven't posted in a while .. just lurking when I can. Anyway, I have to take my daughter to her game, so I will post later...
    -MJ

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 01:07 PM   #20
    Banker
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Oh and Michelle - talking about your comment regarding our posts being 'commonplace'? You should have seen the original post. I'm learning not to let other peoples' opinion bother me. I, of course, don't always succeed but I'm getting better. Anyway, there were some pretty strong statements in the original post. It was as if she was looking to argue or fight or something...??? That's why I responded back the way I did to Yinsky, because ALL of us were named in the original post so I wanted her to know that she wasn't going to 'bring me down' today and hopefully, nobody else. It's odd that she went back and removed her statements...
    Yinsky - other than the personal attack toward me being 'simple', why did you remove your comments? And please take note that I refuse to respond to your mean comments about me, although it's tough, I'm not going to engage in a non productive discussion with you. Again, I thought we had a good relationship here... what happened?

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 01:14 PM   #21
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    hi mart..yes funny movie, but must admit that i didn't identify with it at all. as with banker, i remember you posting but don't remember your "story". please let us know. and my proverb that i TRY to live by is very different from that movie. it is "always remember the past, lest you be doomed to repeat it"....

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 02:18 PM   #22
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Banker...i too saw Yinksy's post and then i went back and it had been deleted. Yes, i agree, some pretty strong statements were made...
    What's up today Yinksy????????

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 02:27 PM   #23
    Banker
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Glad it wasn't just me... How was your tanning? I want to get back into that, even though I know it's bad for us... but I always felt so good about myself when I had a little bit of color. I'm as white as a ghost and with the weight gain, well just imagine some fat, cellulite, white legs... Yum, doesn't that make you so hungry for dinner?

    Back to tanning - I'm pretty white naturally, you know, some freckles, etc. However, I have REALLY dark eyes and brown hair with a few auburn highlights (I haven't started coloring yet, but it's just a matter of days now). Anyway, everyone thinks I'm Italian but if they would look at my skin color, they would know it's just pure French! Point is, I'm VERY prone to skin cancer because of my freckles and occasional moles but I just cannot stay out of that tanning bed come spring and summer. It's BAD! I'm sure others would say 'shallow' lol. Anyway, what about you? Are you one that's naturally dark or do you have to work at it? And has your day gotten better? How's the baby? Mine took a really long nap, I love her to death but it was a nice break! Do your older kids ever babysit for you? I would LOVE to have a 14 year old around here to help me. Gosh, not having to drag them ALL to the grocery store. HOw nice would that be? But - I realize that teenagers are 100 times harder than young ones. I can't imagine mine being older... It freaks me out to think about it. My oldest (almost 9)... seems like yesterday he was THREE! Anyway, let me know how you are doing...

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 03:20 PM   #24
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Hi Banker...Tanning went wonderfully...i am officially bronze
    I am Italian, Portuguese and a bit of French so i tend to get very dark in the summer or if i go tanning. I have light blue eyes and medium toned skin. My mom gets real dark.
    I always make my older kids help me with my 2 yr old. They know as soon as they walk in the door after school, they will be sitting so i can do my errands or whatever....I don't ask much of them on the weekend, we usually use my hubby's parents on the weekend.
    My baby slept til 4:15 !!!!! It was a nice break .... i took the WHOLE day off today, didn't do a speck of laundry, clean a dish...NOTHING!!! I figure i deserve a dam day off....
    My manic depressant (LOL) husband is being nice again...gosh i swear it is the full moon
    He is making me stuffed shells for dinner, so i don't have to cook
    My son is at a paint ball party, and i am wondering what condition he is gonna come home in....those paint balls HURT when you get shot with one...oh well, he doesn't seem to mind. My hubby stayed a little while at the party to see if parents were supervising and he said they were having a great time. So one of us has to pick him up at 9....long party huh???? 6 hours???
    Those stuffed shells are smelling good....
    I wish i could gain some dam weight....it has always been a struggle for me to get over 100 lbs.....i eat, i have been told i have an extremely high metabolism....my sister and mother both struggle with their weight though. I am the exact opposite, i struggle to gain.
    Anyway....another lovely Saturday night....i hope your kids don't all catch that puking bug Usually once one gets it, the others will follow....
    Well i guess it is safe to say i have made it thru day 30!!!!!!
    luv,
    LISA

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 04:42 PM   #25
    yinksy
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Banker
    Oh and Michelle - talking about your comment regarding our posts being 'commonplace'? You should have seen the original post. I'm learning not to let other peoples' opinion bother me. I, of course, don't always succeed but I'm getting better. Anyway, there were some pretty strong statements in the original post. It was as if she was looking to argue or fight or something...??? That's why I responded back the way I did to Yinsky, because ALL of us were named in the original post so I wanted her to know that she wasn't going to 'bring me down' today and hopefully, nobody else. It's odd that she went back and removed her statements...
    Yinsky - other than the personal attack toward me being 'simple', why did you remove your comments? And please take note that I refuse to respond to your mean comments about me, although it's tough, I'm not going to engage in a non productive discussion with you. Again, I thought we had a good relationship here... what happened?
    No Banker - was not trying to be offensive - and its not really surprising I went back and removed my post given your reaction? I hadnt intended to make any "mean" remarks at all. Certainly didnt expect to get such a strong negative response. Your perception of what I was trying to say was all skewed. Did not in any way mean to offend. This business is all too serious to me - and I was shooting from the hip. Trying to be truthful. Perhaps I am right and there are indeed too many platitudes in here........... I think there are too many people in denial and I fear many will never get control of their addictions. They are just playing at this? Straight talking is really not welcome? You see - I have been to a very dark place - and was foolish enough to think that perhaps I could warn other people........... maybe just arrogance on my part? Just maybe I helped Kinda on his way.............
    So - perhaps the way forward for so many is still to deny their situation, ignore anyone who is trying to tell them the truth..... leave them to their battery of doctors....... obs & gynies, physicians, shrinks, adictionologits, sleep disorder specialists, therapists and kilty kilty cauld bum............... (and of course - the Great Healer Himself) indeed - perhaps they will solve the problems? I just doubt it.
    I wish you well!
    GB LOL
    Y

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 05:01 PM   #26
    lisaaahubb
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Y....i understand what you were trying to say...but i think Banker took it offensively. It did come across a little harsh, but you did make some very good points. You actually came to my mind today, i was having a very rough day and would've loved to just take a xanax and not worry about it....but i took nothing and worked thru it myself. I worry about xanax now that i have heard the horror stories. I refuse to take it during the day and am really considering not taking it at night anymore. I only take 1 .5 at night....would i feel w/d off of that????????? I certainly hope not. I am just gonna let time heal the wounds that the pain killers caused. Sleep has come...i never increased my xanax to accomodate.....slowly starting to get about 6 or 7 hours a night now. I can't believe the small amount of sleep a body can function on......
    Speaking of sleep....gotta get my little one ready right now!!!!!
    luv,
    LISA

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 05:03 PM   #27
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    aaahhhh...yinksy...

    you're shortchanging yourself....you helped me......

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 06:10 PM   #28
    John 808
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Banker,

    Probably best that I didn't read the post- I have concluded that Yinksy pretty much doesn't like me (and that's okay)! I am sure I was named for doing or saying something wrong...

    But, I do believe pshychiatrists, counselors, and yes the Great Healer himself, etc. can help. Granted, you have to find the right doctor, but I know too many people who can function and live a happy, productive life with the aid of medications given by a doctor. Just because we have battled an addiction doesn't mean we should shun all doctors. Just my opinion.

    Glad you have concluded not to let things or people bother you- I need to work on that. I am such a people pleaser that it really bothers me if someone doesn't like me or says "ugly things." But, I know that I am sensitive, too, and I am getting a little better!

    Went to see "The Passion" tonight and it was so moving- absolutely pulls at your heartstrings! Wish everyone could see it!

    Well, take care and thanks for my early birthday wishes!
    Michelle

     
    Old 03-06-2004, 10:55 PM   #29
    Banker
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Upatnite - Yinsky has helped me too... And I stated that in a previous post on this thread. She has helped TONS of people on here. Lisa just stated that she helped her too. She helped me drop my xanax by half, and consider dropping even more and truly determine if I even need it w/the sub and lexepro. I'm playing w/my meds right now to see what the minimum I need is.
    And i didn't take offense at the post. I just said that I wasn't going to 'fight' about anything and I actually thanked her for helping me and so many others. That's all. I took it just as you - that it was a little harsh. When she stated her reasons for writing it, I agreed with her. Then it just seemed to all go downhill.

     
    Old 03-07-2004, 05:14 AM   #30
    yinksy
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    Re: Ladies & Kinda!

    Aw c'mon Banker............. this isnt right? I think there has been something "lost in translation"?. I consider you a friend and would surely not set out to hurt you. I just wish I had left my post up - it's all being misconstrued - perhaps partly my own fault - I forget that Irish/Scottish humour is quite different to American - that is why Kinda and I hit it off so well right from the start. We "instinctively" just know one another's minds.

    Nothing personal is ever intended. Perhaps I could just say - for other people's info - that my post - put in a nutshell - was to tell people to stop just talking about it and get on with it. Banker - if you think I was saying anything else - then please tell me on this thread and I will explain my meaning. Nothing mysterious. Yes -it may have sounded harsh to some ears - I now can see that - but that wasnt my intention............ my intention was just to be honest. If we cant be honest in here then we might as well forget it?

    In all the time that I have been in here I have seen a couple of spectacular recoveries (apart from my own withdrawal from benzos - which was anything but spectacular!!! such a slow grinding taper........... yuk) - viz, Lisa and Kinda. I know there are many others - but I have spoken over these past few months to Lisa and Kinda. I am not wanting to single people out. I dont need to - people know who they all are. Now - with them in mind - I wrote that post. I guess I was trying to say that if they could do it (with all their own very considerable problems) then anyone could? Fair enough?
    I do truly believe that there is too much enabling going on in here.......... platitudes indeed! Too much gentle "excusing" of one another's behaviours? And I am sure I dont need to explain that. And I only say this as I have in mind all those innocent little children and those long suffering spouses and boyfriends who (IMO) deserve so much more. How long will it take before a mother will finally bite the bullet? When does it all become just too much? When does she hit her own personal gutter? Does she wait until her long suffering husband throws down an ultimatum............ or until her children are taken away - by either the ex or the social services - because she is an unfit mum? Or a much worse scenario............ unthinkable. None of these comments are aimed specifically at anyone in here at all - but questions that should be asked? In fact - pehaps all of us has a duty to ask these questions?
    God knows I am no saint......... I was driving my 4 youngsters and their friends around while under the influence............ even when it was pointed out to me by someone.......... "what is it going to take to stop you, yinksy? the death of your kids in a car accident? great newspaper headlines?"
    Sometimes the atmosphere in here is more like a girls dormitory than a forum on addiction. (IMO). So - I would really refute the allegation of "harsh" as levelled against me. We are not suffering from bad complexions or being overweight - we are suffering from addicition - a killer, a destroyer of lives - tis true! So - how can I be accused of speaking "harshly" on a topic like this? I am saying to people - get real - look in the mirror - see the situation for what it is............stop talking about it and just "do it"!
    Having said that I know that many people are making huge efforts and those efforts are clearly paying off - they will escape the tyranny of the drugs for sure. You cant doubt I know this - I have been in their very shoes. But - there are certainly some who not only dont address the problem but who, I think, actively pull others down by a sort of "cosying up" to them saying that really its not so bad - I have been doing it for years - and see - I am here and I am still fine.......... Do you understand what I am saying?

    So - there you go - Banker - as people say in here "just my take on things"!

    I have had so much help in here - from loads of people - and for that I will be eternally grateful - this is a 2 way exercise.......... and I reckon those people will know my intentions. Perhaps I sound a bit messianic at times........ LOL ....... very pertinent at the moment with "that movie" and myself being of the same persuasion as Mel Gibson! (nope - you'll get no proselytising from me!) Aye - maybe I sound over the top - but that is just the result of my own experiences........ and I really do think that so many people are kidding themselves too about benzos in here. If you think that coming off opiates is hard............... just wait till you try to give up those little pills that have been so helpfull for years and which are not addictive! (wry laughter). Luckily people now are beginning to listen (not to me - but to others with much more info and experience like Ashton and benzo org). Its so heartening to see people now questioning their use of xanax and other benzos................. just questioning will lead to information and so on.
    Oh well - I hope that you wont think too badly of me, Banker......... Tis the way I speak! What you see is what you get!!!!! I could learn so much from Kinda - he is so diplomatic - just read his posts and see what he is really saying between the lines? But he says it with such aplomb that he gets away with it!!! The gift o' the gab of course!
    I know you have been thro a helluva lot......... I was here when you moved house etc..........I know it has been anything but easy for you (understatement of the year) and that is why I seek to set the records straight here. You are battling and winning........... you are a winner.......... and so in no way would I seek to upset/criticise.........And you have such knowledge about sub and you give such sage advice regarding its use. You are obviously, too, a curious, critical, insightful person - you notice what is happening to your body/mind and you question it? Good for you -look at the way you are questioning your medication - you are clearly not someone who doctor shops until you get the "right"response and abdicate from the responsibility of making your own decisions. And I think that in a country like America which has the most amazing pill popping culture in the world - that takes a huge amount of courage and determination. I take my hat off to you, lady!
    BTW - my comment about American Idol - was an attempt at humour. Again - tis the way we speak!
    So - to sum my position up - I still say what we are custodians of our own bodies and minds - forget all the rest - take control - no-one else can do it for you, regain your own life......................

    Banker - perhaps we can shake hands? Across the sea.......... put this little fracas down to language..........I apologise for any offence given, and I admit I am a boorish, insensitive, often stupid, thoughless, outspoken sort of eejit? But at heart I reckon we dont actually disagree?
    Y

     
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