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    Old 06-26-2004, 02:16 PM   #1
    TryingToSmile
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    Question Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Well, I finally did it. Checked myself into rehab, and they kept me there for 10 days. I now understand the process a lot better, and can give some educated advice. If anyone is interested in hearing, let me know. I don't want to tell an unsolicited story! I will say just one thing for now....I had to put aside all excuses/reasons and JUST DO IT. I know many people have kids, jobs, spouses, etc. I did too. And they all survived and now have a healthy person (getting there....still only barely 30 days clean) in their lives instead of a lying, depressed pill addict. I was also addicted to alcohol (huge problem) so they treated that too.

    Anyhow, tell me if you are interested.

    Good luck to all those trying.
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    Yep, still trying reeeeaaalllly hard......

     
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    Old 06-26-2004, 03:28 PM   #2
    windysan
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Good Job,

    You have to just DO IT. Well said. Up to 9 months is kinda tricky. Stay in those meetings and watch out for temptation.

    happy for you,
    w

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 03:36 PM   #3
    Nervous Nellie
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Hi,

    Yes, please. Especially if you can gear it to a 17 year old boy.

    If that's not the general message you wish to convey, if you could send me an email about your success story, that would be great...I just don't know how to help him anymore.

    Thank you,
    Karen

    Last edited by moderator2; 07-02-2004 at 08:29 PM. Reason: Use this board anonymously, only - no emails.

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 04:23 PM   #4
    mernee
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Would love to hear it....always like a good success story. We can only keep what we give away. You will help alot of people that are still struggling with trying to get, or stay clean. Please share your story of hope.

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 05:40 PM   #5
    John 808
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Would love to hear- please share when you have time!

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 05:43 PM   #6
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    I'd love to hear your story, especially since I have a problem with both alcohol and pain meds.
    Thanks. Channah.

     
    Old 06-26-2004, 06:02 PM   #7
    Nervous Nellie
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    "TryingtoSmile"...

    okay, so we're all gathered around the fire...s'mores anyone? ( Let go of my marshmallow stick, it's MINE!)...ahem, pay no attention to the bickering around the flames.

    So comfy...so cosy... nightfall has descended...the warm embers are rosy, we are your captive audience...the moon is full and even the stars are holding their breath, just as we are...cool hands and warm hearts and singed weiners...um...I mean, singed hotdogs!

    In the still of the night, we wait wide-eyed for your story...gooey s'mores in hand...

    Love,
    Karen

    Last edited by Nervous Nellie; 06-26-2004 at 06:07 PM.

     
    Old 06-30-2004, 01:35 AM   #8
    TryingToSmile
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Okay, finally got around to do it. Its amazing how I am getting sober and finding time to get much more done in my personal life. This went by the wayside.

    I am going to try and give my history real brief. 26yrold, neck/back pain patient...got prescribed painkillers, before going to rehab on June 2, 2004, taking about 14 Norco 10's every day, at least a bottle of wine and a few beers before bed.

    started isolating, doing bad at work, feeling up and down and depressed and like my life had no point but to make sure i have my pills for the next day. this really bad phase lasted the last six months, but i've been on the pills for 2 years.

    tried once to detox myself in March 2004, but gave up. got robbed and boyfriend moved out during that month as well. couldn't handle giving up the alcohol and painkillers. hurting hurting hurting too much.

    I am a professional female in a gov't job, you'd never know by looking at me at work. everyone in rehab kept saying that, but I thought that about them too. they were homeless people, doctors, bank managers, harley riders, etc

    so, memorial day weekend, i feel so bad, I can't take it anymore. i felt like i was NOT living more than living and something had to change. I wrote my boss an email, telling her the truth, wrote my benefits administrator an email that I am out on a FMLA act emergency for 45 days and checked myself in. I made sure my bases were covered at work (checked email, heard good stuff back from both) and packed my bags, had one last night out on the town with my friends (went big on morphine patches, vicodin, alcohol). I knew that there were a ton of things I needed to do, errands to run, bills to pay, people to explain all this too....I wasn't telling anyone except my two best girlfriends and the guy I am drunkenly dating (in an email). they had no idea how bad it got, but i don't think they were surprised. but I just could not stand that feeling of 'deadness' any longer. I've been doing this for too long now, and I am living a dead life.

    Was dreading detoxing from alcohol and pills at the same time. Imagined sterile white buildings, or else crackheads screaming in dope-sickness. It was nothing like that. There were people of all walks of life, in all different worlds and careers and problems. You share a room, but they make it as private as possible. There are beautiful gardens to sit in, they have AA/NA meetings in the hallway conference rooms so you don't have to walk far. If you were an alcoholic and painkiller fan, they pretty much 'put you out' for 3-4 days to get you through the worst (I slept this entire time, I'm not kidding.) and then they slowly tapered you down off the librium and valium and catapres, etc. The thing that was good about this is that they had the knowledge and authority to give us something if our blood pressure skyrocketed and made us feel creepy crawly, and to give us more valium if we feel freaking out. It was bad, but it was nowhere near as bad if I tried it at home. I never would suceed here....I tried in March and failed. You need that feeling like you are in a hospital to kick your butt into gear if you can't do it alone. And I can say that the withdrawals truly were not bad. It was always that i was tired b/c they kept you comfortable.

    And as for all you parents, I feel for you and know that your loved ones are your life. I really do. But I also feel that its either take these 10-30 days (they kept me 10 days, and I'm now 30 days sober) right now and move towards a better future and make yourself an AUTHENTIC parent, and stop running in place trying to keep up with pills. I met so many old people in rehab who had permamently destroyed family relationships because of drugs. Fix this problem now. We have to do that. Its hard to snap into action, but logically, you have to do whatever it takes to get clean. I don't think you need to hit rock-bottom. I would've lived forever feeling numb.

    I swear, feeling clear-headed will feel good again. You will feel better. You just have to know that logically, and by experience I can tell you that its possible.

    I will have more to write about my journey, but for now I just wanted to say that much. I read a great book in rehab called 'Dry.' Its by author Augusten Burroughs, an up-and-coming author who wrote about his (real-life) experience about being blind-sided by an intervention by his coworkers, and sent to 30-day rehab. It is hilarious. Just in case there are any bookish types out there. Its a little crass for those conservative!

    Wishing good luck to everyone, and myself.

    Tryin'
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    Old 06-30-2004, 07:24 AM   #9
    John 808
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    I am wondering about depression- are you feeling any?

    After two weeks clean, I was "hit hard" with depression- I sometimes feel as if I can't go on and ofcourse I have to! I have a family that depends on me- children who I love more than my own life- I am only 31 but I feel like an old woman who just wants to sit in her rocking chair and "watch the world go by."

    What is your situation with that?

    Michelle???

     
    Old 06-30-2004, 07:28 AM   #10
    Baseball65
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Please DO tell.I'm checking in tomorrow afternoon,and I'm starting to get the willies.....please include info about WD's and how you feel NOW,particularly regarding the pill WD.I'm a 7-9 lortab a day guy with a couple of xanax.I don't really abuse alcohol,and have only dabbled (recently) in other drugs (morph,perc,val).
    PLEASE TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!!!!
    Baseball65

     
    Old 06-30-2004, 07:31 AM   #11
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Good Job Smiley,

    Just keep going to the meetings in order to stay on top of things. Another good book about cleaning up is "Permanent Midnight" by Jerry Stahl. Stahl was the head writer for that show "Alf". The book is hilarious and crazy/sad at the same time. It is a must-read for people like us. Again, good job and keep it up.

    w

     
    Old 06-30-2004, 07:48 AM   #12
    Baseball65
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Wow....
    I think GOD had you post this very morning just to make sure I go.Thank You.I too have chosen a detox in a place FAR from home,so I don't up and leave the first time I get freaked out or want to cry.
    I too have had to make "arrangements" i.e.sent kids on vacation,job on hold.....the only two people who know where I'm really going are my wife,and the guy producing my record(who has like 20+ years sober)...both are very supportive.In fact my life is fairly intact besides being despondent and depressed and feeling weak.
    Thanks
    Baseball65

     
    Old 06-30-2004, 12:56 PM   #13
    TryingToSmile
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    Baseball and Michelle:

    Thanks for writing back guys. First, baseball:

    I know you are scared right now, and that is normal. You have no idea where you are going to spend your next 2 weeks or so, what the facility is like, etc. Thats normal to be scared. So just try and remember that... Its kind of like you are going on a vacation, but you won't know what it is until you get there (ok, well its not that good...) I was in the same boat, but felt comfortable once I checked in, got some meds and went to sleep for 3 days. Its not going to be as bad as you think. They will keep you sedated and comfortable, if its any kind of good hospital. They will also talk to you about depression, etc and maybe start you on meds if you need them. The thing I found hardest was making it to meals (optional) and AA/NA (sorta optional....strongly encouraged) when I was feeling the tiredest. They made everything close, and you never had to walk far, but I did end up drooling asleep during a NA meeting there (I was on valium for the alcohol withdrawals, but I think they give it to people coming off narcotics too).

    Someone told me this at the rehab center (an employee), and I found it to be true: that they give you a lot more meds to make you comfortable in the hospital where you can be observed, as opposed to if you try to detox at home. AKA, your doc is not going to let you do (presribe for) an in-home detox like this, so for any of you who have tried to do this at home, you know how tough it is. At the hospital you are always being checked (blood pressure, temp) and they kept your meds 'ahead' of it.

    I am proud of you for making the arrangements. Thats the kind of strength I admire from people who have kids. Cuz I know thats not easy. I'm only 26 and I know what I am juggling in my life, so I can imagine what it must be like.

    You come home feeling more clear-headed, and the change of environment is a big factor I think in making the transition. When you try to withdraw at home (like I've done twice or so), you still see your house/apt as a 'sick' place b/c you've been stuck there. The hospital is a good idea because you have no choice but to focus on yourself.

    If you have any questions, I will try my best to answer them.

    Michelle:
    About the depression....
    I am on Wellbutrin, 300mg/day divided up 150SR twice a day, and this always works for me as long as I am not drinking. Once I start drinking, they cancel eachother out. I know your history pretty well, and know they have dabbled with your meds, but I don't know where you stand right now...can you refresh my memory? You can redirect me to your post. I assume you did the detox at home, but I'm not sure....

    The hardest part is trying to have fun as a 'sober' person in a drunk persons town and age group. All my friends are raging alcoholics and I don't know what to do about that. Its mainly what I am doing now...trying to find sober activities.

    Hope you guys are having a good day.

    Hang in there baseball....its daunting and right around the corner, but you are doing the right thing!!

    Tryin'
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    Old 06-30-2004, 01:10 PM   #14
    mernee
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    Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    I am glad to hear your story. I, too have been in a few detoxes and I found the experience ok. I actually tried so many times to detox at home, and then when I broke down and went into detox, it was not that bad at all. I really enjoyed the rest, and the feeling of hope that I finally got. I loved the people and like you said they were from all walks of life. I feel it is important to take all the help that is offered you, cause it is just so hard to do it alone.

     
    Old 06-30-2004, 02:54 PM   #15
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    Cool Re: Anyone want to hear my rehab story? (alcohol/painkillers)

    ATTN: NOT TRYING TO SMILE..... BUT NOW SMILING ! It gives me goose bumps to think about what you must be feeling right now. The confidence you must have gainned by nipping this in the bud before it got you. That's what I want to do. I want to do that, but I have children, ages 2 and 7, AND Im a single Mother, and trust me, my ex is evil. If he found out there is no telling what he would do. So I understand when you say, BE A BETTER PARENT. I know! But how can I leave for a week? What can I tell my Company? I am scared but ready to change. U are my role model. You are the greatest. I felt a connection when I read about what you went through. I too have a high profile job. I too have a lot to loose. Im going to go get your book tonight on the way home from work... Dry, you should go get "cracked" by Drew Pinsky. Youre actually through that part, but it's good reading. Hey! Thanks for your honesty. Take Care! Regards, Sarandipity
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    -Sara

     
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