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    Old 08-18-2004, 05:30 PM   #1
    jeffhurtinaz
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    Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Hi everyone. I've been lurking around on here for some time now , reading tons of people who sound just like I do. Who have an addiction problem to this drug just like I do. I'm 27 years old , live with a great , great, wonderful girlfriend of mine whom I plan to marry, and have a wonderful family as well.
    I have always been a little hyper growing up - The first time I was introduced to this line of drugs was back in high school and it just made me feel so nice. I was relaxed and things seemed great. Don't have to go into too much detail on that feeling - all of you know exactly what I mean.
    Basically , without boring everyone - I am at the point now where for the past couple years I've had two big run in's with Hydro. Back in 2002 for about a month or so I was taking several 10/325's a day. Experienced pretty bad W/D's actually from that , and admitted to my wonderful girlfriend the issue. She was very supportive, although very dissapointed as well.
    I am in a much worse situation now, as I've relapsed a few months ago , and have been on 6 to 8 "7.5/325's" a day now.
    I was reading another member's post about a script running out, and suffering through a couple days of WD's , until your next fill. This has been my case, as it is today. I know this WD feeling too well now - and I hate it so much. I am always on the verge of crying, and I do. I think about how no one around me knows what I'm doing, and how hurt that would be if they did know. I think about all the wonderful things I have in my life, and had before any of this started. It's so difficult for me to kick this habit for some reason, and I have seen firsthand how it can affect your personal relationships, affect your career/work - it's just crazy. It's really actually amazing what the drug does to you , and how your body responds in the WD state.

    I guess I've probably read plenty to know what to expect - but I just think maybe sometimes it is good to get this out to people. Maybe, at some point, hopefully very very very soon , it will sink in that I have to stop this before it gets worse and worse.

    -Jeff

     
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    Old 08-18-2004, 05:58 PM   #2
    mernee
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    You have just made the first and hardest step into recovery. It is good that you feel comfortable enough to have shared your story with the people here. I am happy to welcome to the board,and I hope you will get the same love and support that I have felt from the people on here. Hang in there...One step at a time.

     
    Old 08-18-2004, 06:16 PM   #3
    boaz
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Hi Jeff,

    I'm in the same boat..as if you read my post above you can see...are you out yet or have quit? If you have quit/ran out how many days have you been? I was taking the same amount of 7.5's as you down from the tens also....hang in there...I completely understand how you feel....we all do, take your life back!

    Best of Luck and hang in there

     
    Old 08-18-2004, 09:00 PM   #4
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Welcome aboard. I have been doing what you story described for the last eight years. I have had 5 shoulder procedures, and 1 total reconstruction. Your story mimicks just about 3/4 of the people in our little family here. Some take more, some less. Everyone here will give lots of support, and some good advice. My advice is, set your mind to quitting, pick a week where you have no plans, and where you can get away with being a sick miserable S.O.B. Go cold turkey if you can. People here have done it EG. Lisa. It takes alot of will power, which I dont have. Good Luck-Talk to you soon.

     
    Old 08-19-2004, 08:09 AM   #5
    boaz
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Jeff,
    Hey how are you? I messed up...I couldn't make it...I absolutely hate puking and I knew on day 2 I was going to ...I was too emotional and that made me sick...and I had diarhea bad..(sorry) I hope you'll make it....I guess I'll take just enough from getting sick...that is a BIG time deterrent for me...I don't care about the buzz anymore...it always just takes more and more if that's what your looking for which is why we're all here....but now I know how sick I can get trying to do it myself at home.....I can't take that...I hope others can I hope you can....some people don't mind barfing I guess as bad as I do..but I guess I'd rather be dead than that...if I ruined myself and ended up needing a new body part and was gonna die I'd just get right with the Lord and go on....I hate throwing up that much...and I have responcibilities that I can not let go...2 people to care for and look after....I can't be sick, and the emmense stress from that got me here...hopefully my day will come when I can get help with having that hang over me and not worry about what my mother thinks or hubby....I hope you make it!! Let us know...I caved this day which is day 2...but now I know what I have to go thru...I WILL control it and take just enough to keep from getting sick.

     
    Old 08-19-2004, 09:59 AM   #6
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Thanks everyone for the replies....
    Unfourtunately, I knew this was coming, my refill was on the way. I am in it again now. I agree, Bo, it's overwhelming lots of the times when you feel that bad. If you know there's something that will make you feel better, then why not? Well - it's obvious WHY NOT ...

    Listen, I know this can be done.
    Last year , after my bout with Hydro, I DID STOP CT, did go through WD's for just under 1 week, but seriously, after that, I WAS FINE! Yeah I'd think about it now and then , but it can be done.. And what people say on here is not false, you DO feel better and better everday. Your body will adjust in due time- a lot of folks just have issues with the Mental side of things. It's a true addiction and it's sad. It's too bad we have to go through it...

    The one thing that I really really hope , and trust will HAVE to happen - Is that people like yourself, all the other good decent folks on this board, and ME , STOP this habit before it's too late and we really screw up some things in our lives... I know a good amount of folks on here have already said this HAS happened to them. I don't want it to get that far. Don't feel so bad about the fact that you went 1 or 2 days, and relapsed. Let's think about setting a goal , a realistic goal. You need to tell yourself when you REALLY ABSOLUTELY must quit these things, and you'd be surprised how easy it is. Obviously, we're just not ready yet.

     
    Old 08-19-2004, 01:19 PM   #7
    Buffxgal
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Hi Jeff.. it's nice that you have taken the first step to recovery... I have been on the girlfriend's side of all of this and you need to be honest with her believe me she might surprise you.... don't go through withdrawl without explaining it to her and getting her to help... it's going to be very ugly if you choose cold turkey...and you will need help... it is not recommended by the medical profession but a drug called clorazapate which is an anti-anxiety may help with the symtoms they use it in alcohol withdrawl and I have had addicts tell me it helps... talk to your Doctor they may perscribe it... I have talked to alot of recovering morphine, codone, addicts and they were able to stay on a path Good luck and let us know how it turns out....

     
    Old 08-19-2004, 05:38 PM   #8
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Hi Jeff,

    Hydro is what I am detoxing from at home right now and yeah it is not fun. It can be challenging to stay off of them too. But you can do it. The great lie is that you need them or that the wd's are going to be "awful." I am not a doctor but the wd's will not kill you. Lots of water and immodium and some excersise will see you through them. Also you may want to tell your doctor about it. Your doc may want you to taper down to only two to three a day before you quit. Or he may want to put you on a clonidine patch for a few days that will definately help you with the wd's for a few days. You will be tired but it will help. Give your doc a call and tell him or her the truth. Doctors will surprise you and be very understanding.

     
    Old 08-20-2004, 03:34 PM   #9
    boaz
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Hi Jeff,
    How are you? I am hanging in at 5 7.5's a day for how every long it takes me to run out of about 40 some pills then when I get more I will drop down some more and keep dropping...I am determined...I just couldn't quit CT like I said before I can't take barfing (big baby I know) and it's really awful just sitting there in such misery knowing that we done this all to ourselves...like I think Ryan said "I could kick myself too!! The money I've wasted" makes me ill too. But I'm moving on and getting past this back to the real me, I guess what I liked the most...well 2 things was the calm I felt in the many storms I've had to endure, and the social lubricant as it's called..I'm basically shy and I was just so outgoing and social....but it was a fake me..I see my husband and remember how he was drinking...the exact same way...more brave or less inhibited...at a point..til it got to mouthy and such. You did CT right or dosing down? Have you threw up alot?? I have plenty liquid phenegan laid up but it tastes so nasty it almost makes me puke.....how much puking can I expect?? I hate that and the restless legs thing....

     
    Old 08-21-2004, 08:56 PM   #10
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Hey everyone - I'm hanging in there too ... Well , you know - As best as I can ... Put it this way , I have been thinking much more lately than ever before about this - and I am starting to feel like I am going to make a difference soon..


    I do remember a long time ago , when I had WD's , coming off of Hydro , I had some valium , basically to help me sleep at night, and maybe once during the day to calm me down a bit. I remember it helped me through the WD's quite a bit - the sleeping is the most important in my opinion. I am trying to plan it out this time , to make it a little more comfortable.. get a small amount of Valium from the DR. - be up front about what's going on. I don't know - I feel like I'm starting to see the light at the end of this ****... I'm just about through with it-- and whoever it was on here that had that post about being "MAD" at the pills, looking at it as a FIGHT.. not a bad idea! There's no reason to give them any respect - they don't deserve it!!!

    I will keep all posted - I am hoping to come down from this very soon and get my life back together ...

    Currently at 4 to 6 7.5/350's a day , plus 2 5/500's....

    P.S> - BOAZ - I haven't gotten to the point of throwing up during WD's .. And everytime for me has pretty much been CT... only the "Runs" , and restless leg, etc.... body feels like hell ... depression, crying, .. all that great stuff....

    Last edited by jeffhurtinaz; 08-21-2004 at 08:58 PM.

     
    Old 08-22-2004, 04:56 AM   #11
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Jeff.....hang in there and stay strong on your taper plan. Tapering DOES work if you have extreme will-power. You gotta tell your girlfriend, she is gonna notice you are ill anyway., I have straightened my act out under the most extreme situations. 4 kids running amuck, an angry husband, etc. I just plain got determined and HATE anything controlling me, especially a stupid pill. I am still hanging in there. Heading up to 2 months opiate-free at the end of the week It seems so much longer than that!!!! You seem strong -willed like i am. Keep to your plan, i would go c/t at about 1-2 pills a day, it is tolerable!!! Valium will definitely help with anxiety and sleep, just use it for a week or so and then dump them....going to the Dr. and being honest with him sounds like a good idea too!!! I can help with any questions you might have....i have been battling this demon for a couple of years now. Hang in there.
    luv,
    LISA

     
    Old 08-22-2004, 08:48 AM   #12
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    I didn't realize that I was going through wd until I pu 2 & 2 together. My dr took me off hydro and put me on darvon. So it has been a week without hydro. I had diareaha for 2 days and then I started freaking out and thought my heart was going to fly out of my chest. My dr then gave me .25mg of xanax. I am at the point right now that I need to know when I can stop taking everything.... I don't want this anymore. Per my dr. I take darvon 3 times a day & a xanax when needed. When can I stop all together? are my hydro wd over? Help.....

     
    Old 08-22-2004, 09:19 AM   #13
    RebeccaW62
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Boaz,

    People should not advise "cold turkey" as you need medical help and support through the DT's (withdrawals). I have gone cold turkey on several occasions too. Some have been successul, and some I last two days. Just knowing there is a pill that can stop all the barfing, pooping, etc. will drive me to find them again.

    About 90 days ago, I had an insurance change which made me switch psychiatrists. Thank God. As this new doctor is a specialist in addiction. I never would have found here if not forced to change docs due to insurance. Anyway, she prescribed Suboxone which really truly helps with the mental and physical cravings of the hydrocodone. I never would have thought it possible for me as I had resolved the fact that I was going to die from this addiction. I knew my tombstone would read, "Here lies a junkie" Died from being stupid and unwilling to find a meaningful life without the use of drugs."

    Boy was I wrong. I have been clean 90 days now. Never before did I believe this was possible. I know I sould like an infomercial but it is true. Find a doctor in your area or go to where ever the nearest doc is. You would go this far for the "other" pills, right? And while this doc is a little more expensive, I am spending far less than I was while taking those little blue devil pills. (I was taking 30 to 40 10/500's a day). I would sometimes take the 10/650's and knew I was killing my liver with the extra acetaminophen, but I liked the extra buzz I got from them.

    I have not really been successful in weining myself as once I had that drug in my system I wanted more and more. But I would run out and be forced to go cold turkey for a day or two before my supplier could get them to me. I knew there was no need to check into detox because as soon as they would come in, I would be right back to the pills as I did not want to stop.

    Good luck. Just knowing there is hope out there may give you the strength to seek it. I have read so much about Suboxone and have yet to read one negative thing about it. I have researched it in medical journals and articles as well as read the healthboards like this one. I have not heard of one person who took it and went back. The soboxone may be your ticket. Please check it out and soon! There is no time like the present.

    And a side note: You must be in active withdrawal to start on the suboxone but only like 12 to 24 hours. I took my last one at midnight, saw the doc at ten the next moring and believe me, I was in active DT's. I had to search out a pharmacy in my area that even knew what suboxone was let alone have it it stock. But I was feeling so crappy that I kept calling until I found one. (Most pharmacys have to order it and that can take a day to get in and one day in DT's is too long.) Suboxone has to be dissolved under the tounge (it doesn't taste bad). Anyway, I got my Rx filled, immediately dissolved one, and by time I got out of the pharmacy parking lot, the withdrawals stopped. It is that easy and what a life saver! Good luck!

     
    Old 08-22-2004, 09:36 AM   #14
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Rebecca - Your post is so much what I need to know and hear. I've been researching and collecting articles on Suboxone, also. I am so tired of the pill merry-go-round...but have feared the withdrawals so much. I'm tapering now--and feel pretty terrible. Thanks for writing, Lynn

     
    Old 08-22-2004, 01:40 PM   #15
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    Re: Hydrocodone Addiction - Need some help...

    Rebecca,

    Please read my thread on Suboxone. You do feel better when you get on Suboxone because it is a stronger narcotic than you was probably hooked on. I take it you are still on it because if you have weaned off it I need your help!!! I am on day four and about to die. I have a RX In my wallet for 30 8mg of Suboxone right now and also a called in script for loratab because I am in a flair of chronic diverticulitius and it is very painful. Boy do I want to go get those filled but it is such a wicked addiction that I just can't give in. I have cryed all day today and just wondering how I am going to make it through work tomorrow. I need everyone's prayers because each day has gotten worse and if tomorrow follows suit, I am creamed.

    wish you well,
    fisherman

     
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