Ggrl65,
Seeing your name back on the board right now brought more smiles to my face than the two grande lattes--four expresso shots each--that Alice just dropped off as a surprise, outside my door!!

(With my foot refusing to heal, keeping me from doing anything or going anywhere beyond my 4 walls, surprises like these main-line caffeine injections--vroom--vroom--are just the greatest jump-starts to "get my motor running"!!!) LOL!
Many thanks to you and Sammi for your reinforcing imput on Sub. I can see the dilemma you are in, trying to strike just the right balance in tapering from the drug. And, as you say, there are so many things to factor in.
And I know just what you mean about the "dimming of the soul"--the "self"--that arises from being on any drugs. I've so often found myself just staring blankly at all my color brush/pens...all begging me to pull 'em out...grab my blank notecards....and make some of my old personal greeting cards. But....the Muse on my shoulder is chattering way too quietly in the background. And the pens are just staying put. I KNOW that the pills have killed much of any creativity I had. In the beginning, they seemed to ADD to it...but that soon changed. And, now, I am wondering if--and hoping that-- the Sub may ignite these old interests again!
Of course, NOTHING is as much fun as family disputes!

I remember often feeling, after a particularly screwball scene in my family's old home kitchen, that Woody Allen was about to jump out and yell "CUT! It's a WRAP!!!" And everyone...my parents, my sisters, my aunts and uncles were going to rise in unison, push away from the table....and catch their car services home!! LOLOL! (My Mom, for fun, once secretly sound-taped a Saturday lunchtime in our family dining room.....and the results were PURE Woody Allen!!!)
But I am really sorry that your family problem has escalated into something more serious. "Stuck" relationships within families can be so very wearying...and repetitive. It's like certain themes continue to persist decade after decade. Those red flags are always "up"! And....it can't be making your taper any easier.

You are being so smart to just do what you can and not set goals for yourself that are just too tough at this time.
Take care, godessgrl, and just know that we're all here to make sure your "motor's ALWAYS running!!!"
xxx Lynn xxx