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Help - friend almost od'ed: trust

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Old 09-30-2004, 01:54 AM   #1
Join Date: Sep 2004
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sad1 HB User
Help - friend almost od'ed: trust

I have a friend who almost od'ed on oxycontin/percocet/coricidin 5 nights ago.

I didn't know she was on it .... I suspected something... the past week she'd been acting strange, getting "tired" early, fits of giggling, peculiar moods. But until 5 nights ago it was totally obvious: slurred speech, incoherent, etc... she ended up in the OR.

She says this has only been going on for the past week.

She has now promised she'll never do this again. She promises this has only been going on for the past week.


For weeks, she'd had a sniffle now and then. "I don't have allergies" she would say... an occasional involuntary twitch, complaint about focusing.

She told me she wasn't on it the day before she od'ed. I thought she had been acting weird; I didn't know if she was drunk, stoned, whatever... She finally said that she did take one earlier in the day...

Which tells me she's not really being straight with me now, perhaps?

She says she's flushed all of the percocet she had. I am told she'd had at least 4 80mg pills? Plus coricidin someone had encouraged her to do. She'd said that she'd been "popping them like candy" the past week. This is about all I know, all I could get out of her since the night she nearly died.

She had a hard time of it until today: the 5th day since. Is this long enough to be free of WD symptoms? She says her stomach feels better....



I don't think she's being on the level with me. I think the sniffling, etc. was perhaps mild WD symptoms? Her reticence to admit that she'd indeed taken one the day before scares me; it tells me she's either not looking at it's effects as they are, or she's doing a sort of "lawyer" answering to me.

I love her. I don't want her involved in this. I want to know she's through with it. But I'm scared she's not.

I want to ask her details about exactly when she started, when she took them, etc... But I feel now isn't the right time - or perhaps it's never the right time? I don't know, I don't know.... But I need to assuage my fear - but I don't want to make things worse for her.

She's going to counseling tomorrow with her mother. I am afraid to pry anymore - I don't know the proper approach, should I never inquire, should I act like nothing has happened, should I tell her I'm sad that she'd lied to me, misled me about her mental state? I'm so scared that this is going to end up like a stereotypical situation... I don't know what to do, not say anything, say something, act reticent, angry, indifferent... I don't know what the right thing to do is, but *I want to make sure I do the right thing*.

But I'm so sad that I didn't know her like I thought I did. And now - because of the broken trust - Will I ever know if I really know her?

Can the trust return...?

I guess I'm looking for ex-addicts to tell me their perspective. Do you think she's on the level right now? Can I know....? I'm so sad it makes *me* want to take something, I can't sleep and it's completely preoccupying my thoughts... Do I know my friend as I thought I did...? I still love her, and it's killing my soul because I don't know if she's telling me everything....

Last edited by sad1; 09-30-2004 at 01:56 AM.

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Old 09-30-2004, 05:54 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 762
goddessgrl65 HB User
Re: Help - friend almost od'ed: trust

Hi Sad1-
Trust is a big issue w/ addicts-
When a person gets addicted-you spend alot of time lieing/hiding/sneaking around-its just part of the addictive behavior-for many reasons.
You seem young-college?Your friend probably didn't want you to know what she was doing because she felt ashamed.Im not defending her actions-but its understandable.
But-if shes been a good friend up until this episode-i would forgive her-a second chance...noone does drugs unless they are hurting..physically or mentally-escape/experimentation/when you are younger-depression..etc.
Shes just been thru an overdose-im sure she is frightened-if shes seeking help then shes on her way-hopefully toward recovery.
As a friend you will need to be patient-if she is truly addicted-it may take a few attempts at cleaning up-relapse is part of that process-remember-she is NOT doing this to you-she has a problem.She needs professional help.
Be her friend-tell her how you feel-about trust-how much you love her-and that she CAN be honest w/ you-so if she has a relapse you can be helpful-
The worst thing you could do is make her feel like shes a bad person-
Just let her know you are there and there is no need to lie-as you accept her and her imperfections-as long as she is making attempts at getting help-and can be honest in the future there is no reason to turn away from the friendship..
If she refuses help-or gets worse-in her attitude/behavior-continues to lie-steals-etc..and you've been there-but the cycle continues w/out resolve-
Its up to you-to deciede whether or not to maintain the friendship-
Ive had to let go-of certain friendships that were"toxic" to me-in terms of my recovery-or that the person was draining me-
Just be honest w/ her-and let her know how you feel...
This could ultimately make your friendship stronger-
Good luck-and i hope your pal gets the help she needs.

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