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  • Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction



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    Old 02-09-2005, 05:29 PM   #1
    STAYINALIVE8
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    Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    I am not a Vicodin user but, my ex is. I am trying to understand what parts of his personality have become the addict personality and what parts are real. He and I broke up about 2 months ago. He said he fell out of love with me and hadn't been happy for about 2 months prior to the break up. He now states that his life is less stressful and he is happy. He has been addicted to the Vicodine for about a year and a half. I found out about a month ago. I had no idea.
    Since then he has distanced himself from his family and become very self-indulged. He doesn't seem like the same person I was with for nine years. I guess my question is how far does addiction take a person. What does it mentally do to you. He does not grieve over the loss of our relationship and has no feelings towards how hurt I am. Normally he is very sensitive and caring but the lack of emotion he has is sad. He says he only wants what makes him happy and that is all he cares about. Anyone out there with addiction ever done things they normally would not have done? Thought differently then they normally would? I just want to understand what this addiction does to a person mentally. Any feedback would be great. Thanks in advance stayinalive

     
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    Old 02-10-2005, 07:08 AM   #2
    sue371974
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    I'm really sorry for what you're going through - Nine years is a long time to spend with someone so I know this can't be an easy time for you. Drugs absolutely effect behavior and the way a person acts. So many people who are basically good get messed up with drugs. It is also very commong for an addict to distanace themselves from family and loved ones when they are actively using. He is probably very preoccupied with his drug use right now and unfortunately unless he gets help he will put drugs before everything else in his life. Doctors and neuroscientists have been studying addiction for years to try to see what it looks like inside the brain. One thing they do know is that the Limbic System, the area in the brrain that is involved in emotional and motivational behaviors, is probably the most important area in the brain involved in drug dependence and relapse.
    Addiction to opiate drugs is particularly tough because of the physical withdrawal that the addict has to go through when they try to quit...the thought of being sick like that often times keeps someone who is addicted from even trying to stop. My husband and I were both addicted to opiates (vicodin, oxycontins and heroin). I finally went the methadone route after many failed attempts to get clean. I've been in a maintenance program for the last years and haven't used heroin or pills since then - so, for me it saved my life. My husband continued using until he finally got in trouble because of his drug use and went to prison. He has been there for almost four years now and won't come up for parole for another four years. I can tell you this - drugs changed him and made him do things that he would never have done sober. They did the same to me but just not to the extent that they did with him...but I believe that they change everyones personality...I really do. When I got clean and my husband kept using that was really hard. I realized that he was incapable of loving me than because he didn't love himself. Your'e ex is in extreme denial if he says the vicodin are what makes him happy. Maybe he has not come to the point yet where he has to have them just to feel normal...it gets to the point where it is no longer fun. Sometimes it takes hitting the bottom for a person to want to stop and get clean. I am sure you love this guy because you spent nine years with him - but, right now maybe it is the best thing that you are separated until he can deal with his addiction. Nothing you can do or say will stop his addiction. He is the only one who can do that. You know, he probably still loves you...but, he is choosing to put drugs first. Hang in there and good luck.
    Sue

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 12:15 PM   #3
    STAYINALIVE8
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    Thanks you from the bottom of my heart for responding. I noticed many people stopped to look at my post but nobody took the time to reply. This has been a very hard time for me. I do not understand addiction and your words helped me to get a little understanding out of it. These past two months he has changed for the worse. He doesn't care about anything but himself and his pills. I have lost the man I love to a stupid pill and it makes me so sad. I do not know if he still loves me but he continuously states that he doesn't. He was not happy towards the end of our relationship. Maybe the pills have made it so that he doesn't care for me anymore. Just the fact that he says he doesn't is what hurts.
    I am sorry to all of those who have been trapped by any addiction. I hope anyone who is still using really takes a moment to think of what it does to those around them. It is hard to know that there is nothing that can be done to help an addict.
    Thanks again so much for responding. Congrats on your sobriety. You should be very proud of yourself. I am sorry to hear about your husband. It must be really hard. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good Luck to you and thanks again. stayinalive

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 12:33 PM   #4
    sweetlife
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    I am sorry to not have posted. I wish I knew what wantes me to take those pills. I am on day 3 clean and going thru hell. But you are right those pills are very important. I don't know if anybody knew I was taking them, no one has ever said they did. But it is not something I want to share with people as I am very ashamed of myself, I know they are no good for me. I hope he comes to his sences but this is not something you can do for him he has to want to do it on his own free will. I wish you answers.
    DV

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 09:27 PM   #5
    sue371974
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    StayinAlive

    You just take care of yourself and try to hang in there. Sometimes we just have to take things a day at a time...even a minute at a time if thats what it takes. I'll be thinking of you.

    Sue

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 09:46 PM   #6
    bluejulie5
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by STAYINALIVE8
    I am not a Vicodin user but, my ex is. I am trying to understand what parts of his personality have become the addict personality and what parts are real. He and I broke up about 2 months ago. He said he fell out of love with me and hadn't been happy for about 2 months prior to the break up. He now states that his life is less stressful and he is happy. He has been addicted to the Vicodine for about a year and a half. I found out about a month ago. I had no idea.
    Since then he has distanced himself from his family and become very self-indulged. He doesn't seem like the same person I was with for nine years. I guess my question is how far does addiction take a person. What does it mentally do to you. He does not grieve over the loss of our relationship and has no feelings towards how hurt I am. Normally he is very sensitive and caring but the lack of emotion he has is sad. He says he only wants what makes him happy and that is all he cares about. Anyone out there with addiction ever done things they normally would not have done? Thought differently then they normally would? I just want to understand what this addiction does to a person mentally. Any feedback would be great. Thanks in advance stayinalive
    Addiction to pain pills can change a persons personality.
    I was really addicted to hydros. and not meaning to, I really shut
    people out of my life.
    Sometimes I got a "I don't care" attitude.
    A person becomes addicted and all that really matters are the pills.
    (not ALL but you know what I mean)?
    As far as you two breaking up, I really cannot say
    if it is the pills or not of course.
    But the lack of emotion is probably partly the pills.
    so sorry you are going through this.
    Wish I could give you some answers but I don't know what to tell ya.
    hang in there and I hope things get better for you.
    __________________
    julie

     
    Old 02-10-2005, 09:50 PM   #7
    electricguy
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    I gotta give this one a shot, because I have a similar situation except I am the addict. Timelines are close too, ten year relationship, me using 2 yrs. I distanced myself from everyone- sig other included- because it becomes a full time jobmanaging the addiction - meaning the highs and lows of how you are feeling are so unpredictable that you are better off just not making plans or even trying to meet up with people/friends. You cocoon from everyone. I too would be considered "very sensitve and caring to others." That trait in itself is at the core of many addicted people because we spend so much energy worrying about others we neglect own feelings and wishes. Then we find the pills that make us feel good and be able to deal with the others as well. Then the pills do us in. I guess everone will reach their break point - and he will his too. I think the best thing for you is to tell him you will be there if he needs you to help him. You might be surprised how fast that could occur. And keep your options open in with new people too. Sue mentioned that he might not be at the point where he has to take them to feel normal, but hes pretty damn close. 1.2 yrs and I was there.

     
    Old 02-11-2005, 12:24 PM   #8
    STAYINALIVE8
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    thanks again to all of you for responding. This has become by far the hardest time in my life and I am petrified. I am scared of what is going to happen to him and what has happend to the man I fell inlove with. From this point forward I am not speaking to him until he is ready for help. He has pulled me down so far and it is time to take care of me.

    Electricguy- I really hope that if you are still addicted you can find it in yourself to stop. I know that you cannot understand what it is like to be on the other side of the fence but trust me when I tell you it is very very difficult. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't wait until it is too late. Life is such a wonderful thing to enjoy. Happiness comes from within not within a bottle of pills.

    Thanks again all. Anymore comments would be wonderful. Stayinalive

     
    Old 02-11-2005, 07:37 PM   #9
    Sissypie
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    Re: Please help me to understand Vicodin addiction

    Stayinalive,

    Loving someone who is addicted to drugs is a very difficult journey. My brother is addicted to Vicodin, Oxycontin, and Valium. This is his whole world. As long as he has his drugs, he cares about no one, or nothing else in this world. Being around someone who doesn't do drugs only reminds him of how badly he is screwing up, so he avoids that as much as possible.

    As hard as it is, you have to take care of yourself. You can't force anyone to stop doing drugs. They have to want to themselves. It's hard to see someone you love do things that you know are hurting them, and destroying their life....but, until they see it themselves, it's won't do any good.

    I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

     
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