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    Old 04-14-2005, 05:06 AM   #16
    becky157
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DCV
    Becky, still waiting to hear details of how you ended up getting busted.
    When I went to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription, which I had called in 4 hours earlier, they told me they thought they had it ready, but could I wait another 5-10 minutes. You know, I actually knew something was up. I was SO close to just walking out, but wanted the pills. So I sat and waited for them to call the police-how is that for stupid. I believe I am going to the Hazeldon Rehab Center in Minneapolis, MN. It is supposed to be the best in the country, other than Betty Ford. Actually movie stars, etc. go to this rehab, and if it were not for my parents, this would not be possible for me. Am I ever going to feel good again??? Don't know if stopping cold turkey is the right thing to do either. Again, thank you for your concern. Believe me, I need your support more than you will ever know. Becky

     
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    Old 04-14-2005, 05:19 AM   #17
    toomany
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Hi Becky,

    That is great news about Hazeldon. Yes, it is a very famous facility that has been around for many years. Not a posh place, no daily massages (darn it) but some really good recovery treatment going on there. I am in group therapy with a dr (addict) that went through treatment there.

    This is a good thing. A new beginning for you.

    When do you go in? I can't wait to read your post when you get out.

    Good luck to you Becky.

    Patty

     
    Old 04-14-2005, 05:32 AM   #18
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Hang in there Becky..

    I know it doesn't seem like it, but being caught, was a positive thing. Where would you be right now, taking those pain pills, counting them to see how many you had left, racking your brain as to how you are going to get the next script.

    Now, you are going into rehab, & getting a new start on life without pills. Yes you will feel better, but it will take some time. Once you get the court thing behind you. But being a first time offender, I am sure the judge will see that you are making positives moves in your life by going into rehab.

    It seems that you have wonderful support at home & you have all of us. So you can/will do this! Do you know when you will enter rehab? Keep us posted on how you are doing. Have you stopped taking the pills?

    Hang in there
    DV
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    Old 04-14-2005, 05:39 AM   #19
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Becky,

    Glad to hear this. You will feel a world of difference. 1 step at a time. Take care of you first. You comment on how" stupid you were for waiting for the pills" I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE STUPID!!! I think you are addicted. That is how powerful it is. I did the same thing. the pharmacy told me "hold on, not ready yet....BOOM, 3 cop squads pull up around the drive up (mind you, I am in a 2001, brand new mini van at the time). Ohhhhhhhhh, honey, I am here to say, it DOES GET BETTER. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, EVERYTHING ELSE WILL FALL INTO PLACE!

    Keep posting. Good luck. When do you go to Hazeledon? One step at a time. Take care of you, so you can help your child, besides yourself and family, your Daughter is the one you need to live for!

     
    Old 04-14-2005, 11:15 AM   #20
    DCV
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    You see Becky? Your not alone, and you are not the only one who has tried to forge a script. You were powerless, you knew something was up and even so, you sat there and waited to be arrested. Take a deep breath and relax darlin, its going to turn out just fine in the end. Stay strong, maintain your balance, keep your head up, you have no reason to hang it in shame. You admit to the authorities you have a problem, you take responsibility for your actions, and you attack your addiction with all the gusto you've got.

     
    Old 04-15-2005, 03:15 PM   #21
    rontiss1
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Hello, Im Gil, and I have 7 hours so far of not taking any vicodin or butalbital(barbituates)(sedatives) which gave me a feeling of confidence even made me look better for some reason?! I was on them for many years, the doctor kept doling them out to me..I got into a terrible accident in 2000, survived it but continued to use. Im constantly praying to my higher power to help me and will attend N.A. meetings and hang around with people that "don't use". When I attempted to stop the medication I felt awful and drained, well you can imagine the feeling. Now, I just found out I am anemic and have a hemocrit level of 36 (red blood count). God be with me....

     
    Old 04-16-2005, 11:22 PM   #22
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Becky,
    Wow! You are so brave. Im so sad to hear about your child- I know how it is to try to cover your pain with pills. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to see your child in pain... but to be there, I mean actually be there for your child is a God send- and if you were not sober... and experienced this... you would regret not being sober for your child at this time...for the rest of your life.

    To be able to afford a rehab is incredible. I had insurance, and It cost 18 thousand but insurance covered all but 3500.

    I went to Lahacienda... it's on Dr Phil all the time. It is by Dr Phil- the best in the country. It's in Texas.

    I had no idea before going to rehab and being in AA now, that it would completely change my life for the better. It's not about being sober... it's about a different way of life where you cant wait to wake up in the morning. And problems, big and small are so much easier to handle when you have friends in the program. I dont' know who you are Becky, but by what Ive read so far Id say that you are a very blessed person who by the grace of God or a Higher Power.... you have the opportunity to get better... something that not many people are able to get.

    You are in my thoughts and I will have so many people praying for your protection when you go to court and pray for willingness... when you go to rehab. My heart feels for you and your child.

    Something tells me you are going to thrive in recovery!

    Love,
    Sara
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    Old 04-17-2005, 08:08 PM   #23
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Becky,

    I can't tell you the number of times that I've actually been GRATEFUL to be addicted to something that is easy to get. I'm quite sure that I would be right where you are otherwise. It feels like you are at the end of the road when these bad things happen...you just can't see past it. But be assured that this IS going to get better in time. People forget...they really do. And forgiveness is essential in this, too. You have to forgive yourself before you can move on. I visualize to help me understand things...so with that in mind...If a friend of yours came to you and admitted that they had done what you did, you would be understanding and sympathetic. You would know they didn't want this to happen and that they have an addiction that is more powerful than rational thought. You wouldn't be angry or think less of them. WELL..this is how you need to treat yourself. Be your own best friend and treat yourself just as you would that friend. Understanding and sympathetic. Don't beat yourself up or do the "I should have this or that" thing...It's a waste of your precious energy and you need all you have right now for more constructive things!

    I'll pray for you,
    BW

     
    Old 04-19-2005, 07:23 PM   #24
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    I have been arrested 2 times for forgery of a prescription, I got probation and defered adjudication.MY best advice is to check yourself into and in patient rehab as soon as possible now if you can. Get a lawyer if you dont have one and if you do let him know that you have to go to rehab. Believe me already being done with rehab when you go to court will help you so much, join an 12 step group, and see a LCDC chemical dep counselor if you can afford it if not you might find one pro bono. Every single one of these things will help you. Get medical records, everything you can to show what you have been going through physically and mentally. Because of my medical problems I not only got probation and deffered adjudication the first time but 3 years later I got it again so now in a month I will be off probation and the adjudicated record will be sealed so I wont have a drug record now. I know you are scared, you are in my thoughts and prayers please email me if you need to talk or ask any questions.



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    Last edited by moderator2; 04-20-2005 at 05:01 AM. Reason: The only contact you may make with members is to post on the board.

     
    Old 04-19-2005, 08:48 PM   #25
    Libba
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Hi this is Libba I cant figure out how all this works, can you add a spot for email if you want to have someone email you? I will have to play around and figure it out. Anyway I hope you read this and the last note I wrote about my own decision to become a dr and write scripts..... Do please email me I can tell you a lot of things, and can call you if you need some support from someone who has been there and done that. I just know it was the scariest moment in my life and now everytime I see a cop car my stomach drops and my heart beats a little extra hard and it has been 5 years now. But I never had anyone to talk to about it except family and they had know idea what I was going through and what drugs do to you and what they make you do. I was from a wealth family, christians, dated men who went to West Point, I had it all, but my doctor did me wrong and got me addicted to stadol NS, and every pain pill you can name. THen my mind got addicted and when your mind and body are both addicted you have very little control over your own life. What we did was out of desperation and in my case the money and doctors where running out. I am now working on getting women like us together to go do seminars to doctors and to people like us because prescription addiction is becoming one of the largest drug problems in the US and it is happening to middle to upper class people who trust their doctors and when they get in trouble (addicted) the doctor fires them or sends them to a different doctor and then a full blown addict is born. My email is [ please carefully review the posting rules - no emails ] PS I will be holding you in my prayers!





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    Last edited by moderator2; 04-20-2005 at 04:57 AM. Reason: please carefully review the posting rules

     
    Old 04-20-2005, 03:17 AM   #26
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Becky, I'll pray for you.

    Marilyn
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    Old 04-20-2005, 07:44 AM   #27
    Twinlynn
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Becky and Libba -

    Becky - All I can offer you now is mental support--and help you from feeling alone--there are so many of us who managed to just slip under the wire and get away with things we knew were wrong. (Changing a "1 refill" to a "4"??? I did that. And, when a pharmacist caught me (though he didn't follow it up)--I was so horrified when he yelled "You know--this is a "Federal offense".

    I had chosen to be a ostrich with its head in the sand up until then....trying desperately not to see the lies and deceit these pills had driven me to. I'd comfort myself with the fact that I was hurting only myself--no one else.) But this encounter with the pharmacist hit me so hard that I never did it again. And I finally became aware that by my addiction--I was not only destroying myself with pills.....I was moving into criminal activity. This incident helped push me into realizing that I needed professional help. And that I really needed my life back.

    I wish so much that you had been given the chance like I was to reflect on your incident, without such consequences. It is painful just thinking about what you went through. So...I just want you to know you have people here you can talk to, who understand. :-)

    Libba - Your idea to get women and AMA people together re. exactly what's happening with prescription pills is wonderful. Did you ever notice how this prescription pill addiction problem came to light only when the MIDDLE and UPPER classes were openly affected? Prior to this, it was just seen as a "lower-class" scourge...and addicts were labeled "junkies". Not much was done to see addicts as "people" who needed help. But when addiction started changing from "needles" to pills--it now entered a new realm--that of the middle-class--the "Moms and Dads"...the "working executives". And...suddenly society recognized it as an epidemic. The one good thing about this is that, perhaps, the poor will now be included in help programs.

    Most of us started innocently enough....a narcotic prescribed for a legitimate pain problem. But we had doctors who continued to prescribe them well past the time we needed them. And the more we became addicted, the more we needed to ask for them. Our doctors did not check our charts enough--and we prayed that they wouldn't!!!

    And to every patient who has suffered true chronic pain--I want to apologize to every one of you who is now having to beg for your necessary drugs. People like myself blurred the line by our addictive habits--so that doctors became frightened to prescribe narcotics to ANYONE--even those who quality of life depended on them.

    We need such a comprehensive educational project for both the public and for doctors--to acknowledge, research and deal with the problem. So, I just wanted to tell you, Libba, that you are starting a terrific, well-needed project. :-)

    my very best, Lynn :-)

     
    Old 04-20-2005, 12:07 PM   #28
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    Thumbs up Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Thanks Lynn, I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am so driven to do this education seminars for all of us! I am working on research right now and am working on fliers that I can send out to the schools, hospitals, doctor offices and am even trying to figure out a way to get information out to everyone I possibly can. I would love to be able to help someone with pills before it gets out of hand. I am looking into news papers, tv spots and actually going on the road locally to hold seminars. Then maybe I can take it around the USA. I am going to try to talk to as many doctors as I can, I hate that there is so many people like myself with chronic pain and cant find a doctor willing to help you and follow you closely. I have a great addictive specialist doctor who is helping me get info together so I can do this. I am even going to start in schools, teens need to know about pill addiction just as much as we do. I am going to try to figure out how to make a web site and I would love for anyone who is interested in joining me to please let me know. The words and help of many can do so much more than the dream of just one person. My life has been ruined by the medical system and I want to try to make sure it does not have to keep happening. Lives, good lives are being ruined and have been ruined and I just can't sit by any longer and watch it happen. So if you have any ideas or suggestions please let me know and that goes for anyone else who is interested. Together we can make a difference. I don't have the best computer skills, so I am trying to find out how to start a web site for this cause...So I could use people who know their way around computers and anyone who is willing to help you are more than welcome, I am still trying to decide on a name for this cause. I plan on holding seminars, support groups, speaker meetings, school lectures and one day maybe we all can go to our leaders and let them know what the medical profession is doing to americans who had great lives, futures and dreams.I would like to see doctors being a lot less afraid to properly treat chronic pain, there is ways to treat pain patients where they are kept comfortable and feel safe in knowing that their doctor is not going to fire them as a patient or take away the only thing that lets them make it through the day. This is something I have just recently started to work on, I have my notebooks, reading materials and am in the process of getting more and more info, like from the library, internet, book stores and doctor offices. If you have and info or come across and info that would be helpful please fax it to me. The more information I can get the more I can help change the way middle class addicts are being treated. Thank you and God Bless! It is our turn to be noticed, we will no longer be silent in our pain and addiction, the world needs to know and we will no longer be the silent ashamed class of addicts. The AMA needs to see and hear that chronic pain is not in the head and that there is many proper ways to treat pain with narcotics if the doctors would just take the time to work with the patient and trust in them to know their own body and how much that body can and cannot take. They can set up formulas for treatment, but they don't want to spend the time and have to worry about the DEA on their backs. They also need to be able to spend the time and effort to help the patients who no longer need medication, cause if they don't take that time and effort you can end up doing what other and myself have done, write our own scripts and doctor hop. Anyway thanks for listening to my babbling, I have over 10 years of pain, rage, sadness and loneliness bottled up and this is the first time I have had a group of people who know what I am going through. So thank you all and keep in touch. ps I live in TX so if anyone here does too let me know we can hopefully meet up. undefined Becky I would love to talk to you about rehab and what to expect in court..Like I said if you can go to rehab first it really will help in court. And if you want to know anything about Buprenex or Suboxone let me know I have taken both and they really help a lot! Hang in there sweetie, it does get better just remember there are a lot of people out there supporting you and thinking of you and keeping you in their prayers!

    Last edited by Libba; 04-20-2005 at 12:55 PM. Reason: I just read about the email thing how do i add to my profile like group and stuff can we put our email there and how do we fill in the other areas of our profile?

     
    Old 04-28-2005, 06:13 AM   #29
    becky157
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    Hello friends-
    I am back from Hazelden and doing outpatient near my home. Let me tell you what happened when I got home- one afternoon I was feeling sooo bad, I went to the ER and the doctor there wanted to put me in the hospital and do a slow taper, but of course I didn't want to be in-patient. So I went home and called my doctor and she said she would do a taper with me, although leaving me in control of the taper, so she called 240!!! tabs to the pharmacy!!! I about freaked out- I made an appt. the next morning and returned the pills. I've never been in possession of 240 pills in my life!! But to be actually truthful, I might have kept them had I not known that my medical records are to be released to my lawyer and if he and my parents found out I had 240 pills, it wouldn't be a good thing. Anyway, I am feeling so low, no energy at all, don't want to do anything, don't really care about anything. I just can't believe I will feel normal without them. Have lost 10 lbs, no appetite. Also, got a certified letter from the hospital, so I am sure I am losing my job on top of everything else. I just want to curl up and have someone hold me-- need some advice from you smart people on the board to help me overcome my feelings of uselessness. Thanks again-
    Becky

     
    Old 04-29-2005, 06:00 AM   #30
    DCV
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    Re: Hydrocodone arrest

    becky157, since I can't get my arms around you and give you a big ole bear hug from the big daddy, I'm sending it to you in thought. Hang in there, everyone who successfully kicks an addiction goes through discomfort, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and all the physical symptoms, just pretend you've got the flu, it will get better in time. You have to go through it. Your doing just fine, you need to take care of yourself though, you have to eat, take a vitamin, drink LOTS of clear fluids. You can do this!

     
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