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Day 5 (sucks!)....




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Old 05-27-2005, 12:35 PM   #1
sneddog
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Angry Day 5 (sucks!)....

Well it's day 5 clean and my girlfriend informed me last night that she needs "time and space". She had no idea the amount that I was using or the frequency of my use. I told her Sunday morning before going into detox. She was very supportive then but now states that she needs space to think things over. I never once was abusive or even cross with her during my usage. In one way it makes perfect sense. Man does bad things and now he must pay, but ******* I don't need this s#@! right now. So now it's me staying alone at my place, not a good idea, I haven't slept more than 2 hrs in a row since Saturday). I would like to say that I'm angry, but it's much more than that. I feel discarded. Not a feeling that I need at this time. The last 12 hrs have been a freaking struggle not to use. I just wish I could rewind to last week having never told anyone about my addiction but not being using. Well wish in one hand and p!$$ in the other and see which fills up faster. I am not doing well.

 
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Old 05-27-2005, 12:55 PM   #2
Frustrated5
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Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

I just wanted to write and tell you to hang in there. I am married and my hubby has had a really hard time dealing with me and my addiction. Its hard for someone on the out side looking in, they really have no idea what you are going through. I have accually relapsed a couple times because the stress and physical symptoms got to be too much. Just hang in there I know how hard it is I'm only on day 2 of my third try to get clean and it is a b****. But give her the time she needs and see what happens. It is so hard for those who arn't in our shoes...almost as hard as it is for us.
As for not getting any sleep have you considered trying Tylenol P.M? It worked for me especialy after day 5.
Hang in there you are NOT alone!

 
Old 05-27-2005, 01:05 PM   #3
ScaredHelpless
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Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

Sneddog Hang in there- Maybe I'm not the one to be telling you that since I'm still using (Oxy's) and scared out of my mind. But what I can tell you is how much I admire you for what you have chosen to do. You should acknolwedge how much strength you have and howw strong you are. It's not about anyone else right now only, the past five days have been hell for you...do you what all of that for nothing...look at it this way your over the bump your more that half way any day now you'll wake up and start feeling better dont give in now- I admire you so much and hope some day I can take that leap!
Hang in there

 
Old 05-27-2005, 07:55 PM   #4
dreaming4adayy
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Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

Give her time! If she loves you she'll be back. Did you mention how long you guys have dated? Have you told her you need her?

Are you seeing a dr for anxiety or sleep meds?
Hey, were here for you.. hang in there and keep posting so we know your doing ok?
Kim
(day 12 I think?) lol

Last edited by dreaming4adayy; 05-27-2005 at 07:57 PM.

 
Old 05-27-2005, 08:21 PM   #5
Ukonom
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Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

How does that go, If you love something set it free....if it comes back its yours, if it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it? Sorry, just a little humor for ya, you sounded like you could use some. Day 5? Awesome....tomorrow you should start to feel a tad better. Don't give in now.....I know its easy to say......and this kind of depression can send us right back into that hell....very quickly. I don't know your situation (relationship) I'm sorry that she is doing this right now. When it rains it pours...doesn't it! Some people simply freak out when it comes to this kind of thing. Try to get your mind off of it, and hopefully she will come around.....she probably has no clue as to what you are going through, and doesn't realize the nature of it. If she would drop you for being honest, then you might want to redefine the nature of your association. I do hope you work things out. You need to concentrate on you right now....might want to rent some good "escapist" movies.
On a side note: I know a lot of people say to be honest about your addiction and seek support. While I think this can be good advise, I can also see where this can back-fire big time. Like the saying goes, "don't tell people your problems, because 90% don't care, and the other 10% are happy you have them". I haven't told anyone what I have been going through, and I'm glad I didn't, I just don't need trusting in the wrong person, and "bam" everyone is whispering and talking behind your back. My business is my business good or bad. I would guess that this goes against the advice of NA/AA but when you live in a small rural community like I do.....well, I'm not giving anyone any ammo. I'm sorry your having such a crappy day....hang in.......this is definately a test, and I'm sure a few cravings will follow.
Ukonom

 
Old 05-27-2005, 08:28 PM   #6
dreaming4adayy
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Thumbs up Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

Ukonom
Very well put! I couldn't agree more..

kim

 
Old 05-28-2005, 06:14 AM   #7
goddessgrl65
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Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

I agree too-maybe this is too much for her right now-let her have her space willingly-and as you get stronger-maybe you will be able to reconnect in a more positive way..
its funny-a friend came by to visit-haven't been feeling well-she insisted to see-me..we had a great time-but i spent so much time-feeling anxiety-cos-i don't wanna be "debbie downer..(LOL..SNL..skit)..i just nixed the heavy stuff-stayed light-and it was cool.
Connecting at some meetings..AA/Smart etc..might be a better forum for the addiction issues right now..(me..included)
hang in there-the best is ahead of you..
ggrl

 
Old 05-28-2005, 07:11 AM   #8
hpd
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Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

It sounds like you were relying on your girlfriend's support during this time and she let you down...I'm sorry about that. If she isn't familiar with addiction she may be thinking that the way you are acting while you detox is the way you are going to be from now on. Is there anyway to explain to her EXACTLY what you are going through and that this won't last forever? I also live in a small town and I have opted not to tell anyone besides my DH what I am going through. Unfortunately people can be fairly judgemental and from past experience trusting the wrong people ended up really hurting me. It is sooooo important to be able to talk with someone and share what you are going through. These boards are awesome inspiration. Is there anyway for you to see a therapist (preferrably one who doesn't prescribe) just to talk with and know that it is completely confidential. Not everyone has the resources for that, but if you do I highly recommend it...you are NOT weak, but you are human and you NEED support right now. Remember that you are at a critical stage of quitting so don't give up . I'm on day 4 so I'm right there with you! Your girlfriend is probably scared too and maybe she really does need a little space. The hard truth is that we got ourselves into this mess and we need to rely on our personal strength to get us out. It sounds like you are really struggling...thanks for your honesty...keep posting and hang in there!...and the advice to escape into a movie is the only way to go. It helps pass the time and every minute you stay sober is a victory.

 
Old 05-28-2005, 12:31 PM   #9
tony_b
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Re: Day 5 (sucks!)....

hey Sned,

Check it out... The only person that can do this is yourself. And your girl is probably telling you that she needs time b/c she wants to see if YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You have to do it on your own, nobody else can do it for you. So it's like a test ya know Sned?? Pass the test, show your girl how strong you are and she will never have doubts again.. Take care and you will do this!!

 
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