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    Old 06-17-2005, 05:28 AM   #1
    Travis420
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    Angry I hate methadone clinics

    I knew this day would come, last Monday I was kicked off the program for not perticapating and following the program. I guess I deserved it, I would often miss my second or first dose of the day and miss the required one on one councelling.

    So here I am sick as a dog and wondering what I should do. I did checked into another clinic, but they wouldn't accept me in cause I'm labled as a problem paitent.

    Besides, I was being tapper off from meth cause I wanted out, so going back on the program would be like going backwards.

    I never thought I could be screwed over like this.

    Travis

     
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    Old 06-17-2005, 05:49 AM   #2
    goddessgrl65
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    Travis-
    Have you tried suboxone..private/dr. assisted/and alot easier to come off..
    Id check into a short term detox..3 weeks to 3 month program-
    it might give you some time to make some positive changes that may-give you new insight..to life w/o drugs..
    My friend was cut off at 120 mgs..very bad w/d-
    But hes been mostly clean for 4 years..
    Sorry about your experience..thats very common at the clinic....but these people are supposed to be helping not hurting..
    hang in there..
    check out the sub-it works..
    ggrl

     
    Old 06-17-2005, 06:33 AM   #3
    bluejulie5
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    Sorry you have to go through this;

    I found a MD that would just prescribe methadone to me and let me
    take it at home daily. I only take one pill a day.
    It has been a long road for me though.
    About a year ago, I started out on 8 meth. pills a day, then gradually
    got down to none for 3 months then relapsed.
    thats why i am back on the meth.

    hang in there.
    I don't know what it is like to go cold turkey off methadone
    but i have heard that it is awful.

    How many a day were you taking?????
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    Old 06-18-2005, 06:20 AM   #4
    feelbad
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    I just wanted to point out to you that it does not appear that you were 'screwed over" by the clinic in this particular situation,you kinda screwed yourself here,don't cha think?They set a plan up with you that you were supposed to follow and you did not follow that plan so they dropped you.just what did you expect here anyway.how really serious are you about getting the help you need to get yourself better?i can guarentee you that the people from the clinic are not going to follow you around all day telling you to show up at appointed times to do what you need to do.You have a very big responsibility to yourself and to the clinic if this is really what you want to do here you know?No one said this was going to be easy,but with the right mind set and determination it can be done.I really do hope that for your sake and the sake of your future happiness that you will kick yourself in the butt and get serious about getting yourself well again.Do you attend any sort of a support group like NA or anything?You really DO need the support and help from other people who have been through this.they will become a very very important part of your life and be a tremendous support during all the tough times.Have you considered any other treatment options at this point?There are other options availiable to you but none of them will work unless you really want to quit and commit yourself to getting better.good luck.Marcia

     
    Old 06-18-2005, 06:29 AM   #5
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    [QUOTE=feelbad]I just wanted to point out to you that it does not appear that you were 'screwed over" by the clinic in this particular situation,you kinda screwed yourself here,don't cha think?They set a plan up with you that you were supposed to follow and you did not follow that plan so they dropped you.just what did you expect here anyway.

    I agree.They are very serious about the rules & if someone breaks them,they get kicked out.The clinic didnt do anything to you,YOU did it to yourself.

    Good luck & stay safe
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    Old 06-18-2005, 06:36 AM   #6
    bent_halo
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    I personally ahve never been to a methadone clinic, but I have heard, the rules are strict and for a reason...
    They are there to help you, not just a place to go and get a little relief, when the withdrawls get too bad.

    Pick yourself up and try again...if getting clean was easy...none of us would be addicts in the first place????

    Maybe you can call the councelor there and ask what your options are now?...what they suggest you do, if you are removed from their program?...if nothing else, it will show that you are willing to dust off and try again...

    My two cents..
    Angel

     
    Old 06-19-2005, 06:45 AM   #7
    Travis420
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    Sorry it took awhile to get back on baord. I'm such a mess. So after the clinic screwed me and left me with nothing. last night I slipped. I'm so p off I was at 12 weeks clean and blew it. I can't beleive they can do that! I was at 70 mls a day, 35 in the morning and 35 in the afternoon. I was going to NA meetings and had a sponsor, but I haven't been going to the meetings cause of the migraines. It was sticky hot for about two weeks and was tourtured by migranes. So now my sponsor dropped me too. He said I have to be more seroius about the program and crap. So F them!!! they'll be sorry if anything bad were to happend to me. It's all their fault! they turn their backs on me. Instead of helping me they just leave me stranded. ***!!

     
    Old 06-19-2005, 09:00 AM   #8
    heyageezer
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    oh wow ..the problem is obvious .you need to take a good look in the mirror.
    besides that i think your pulling our leggs. cmon now

     
    Old 06-19-2005, 11:06 AM   #9
    flygirrll
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    We are not victims, we are volunteers.

    Last edited by flygirrll; 06-19-2005 at 11:06 AM.

     
    Old 06-19-2005, 12:08 PM   #10
    Nervous Nellie
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    Hey Travis.

    Your situation sounds very similar to that of my 18 year old son, although his drug of choice isn't heroin, it's crack, and he doesn't suffer from migraines, although he might also be ADD/ADHD. I understand you're just a bit older than he is, you're about 20, right?

    Like you, he doesn't have his GED nor has he ever held down any job for more than a week I think. He started using at about the age of 14/15...how about you? He has often said that he feels depressed and anxious though, and that he thinks he's gonna go insane, however strangely he doesn't want to take any 'prescribed' medications for it...like anti-depressants to help him get over this 'hump'. At the same time, he'll go entirely clean for a couple of weeks or months (not even smoking cigarettes or drinking coffee and remaining a vegetarian) but then he'll just whack out so strongly on everything he can get his hands on (crack, coke, 'E', special K, you name it).

    The sad part is, there is nothing anyone else can do to help him. He can be offered help, but it's up to him to take it. It always amazes me of the heroic efforts he'll make to be entirely clean and just as things are going smoothly, he'll sabatoge his own efforts...as if he's trying to deliberately screw himself up. I don't know why this is, it just is. Inevitably, there is always a good valid reason in HIS mind why he couldn't keep the committment, go to a meeting, make an appointment, show up for work or whatever...he slept in, he had a bad cold, he was too depressed, his girlfriend broke up with him, the dog ate his homework...

    The thing he's not realizing is that he's only hurting himself and no one in the real world will ever bail him out. No boss will allow him to be late for work every day. No teacher will give him a passing grade if he doesn't turn in his homework. No girlfriend will stay with him if he cheats on her. No friend will stay with him if he screws them out of money or lies to them. He's sincere in his desire to get clean, but he's not ready to deal with the most simple responsibilities of daily life. He's cried wolf so many times that no one believes him anymore.

    I love my son and feel sorry for him and want him desperately to get better. Just as I hope and pray you will get better someday. Unfortunately neither one of you will succeed until you commit to at least ONE thing for as long as it takes to succeed. In both your cases, I think, that thing you need to commit to is getting over your addiction and that does involve following a lot of rules and regulations that are going to be hard to follow. No matter how many migraines, episodes of flu, cars breaking down, dogs eating homework or whatever else may fall in your path to stop you...you must overcome it anyway and do it, no matter what. Just like when you endure the pain of a tattoo or a body piercing...amazing how a person can do that stuff, LOL, and yet miss the bus, miss the train or miss the ride to the clinic or 'forget' to take one's meds or just plain forget about oneself.

    You need to care about YOU, Travis. You need to care enough about YOU to go through the crap to get to the good stuff.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, hon.

    Nell


    P.S. I hate to say it, but I agree with the others. You appear to be your own worst enemy and the only one screwing up your chances each step of the way is yourself. You deserve better treatment from yourself, don't you think?

    Last edited by Nervous Nellie; 06-19-2005 at 12:15 PM.

     
    Old 06-19-2005, 05:49 PM   #11
    Travis420
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    Re: I hate methadone clinics

    Nell

    I was 15 when I first tried heroin and when I got older started to use it everyday. It wasn't until last November when I realized that I was depandent on heroin. Yeah, I'm only 20 yrs old.

    It really hurts to be dropped like that. I thought things were going well. I was dropping clean samples and I was behaving. The only thing that was against me was my poor attendance recored. I didn't like the clinic and their rules. I think their rules are stupid and on top of that their take home requirment policies are redicualus to achive.

    I'm not good at achiving and maintaning anything good in my life. Never had good grades, never had any friends when I was a kid. My parents never liked the things I did and they were always disappointed in me. I'm not gifted and I don't have any talents to speak of.

    I wish I've never gotten myself into this mess. I guess it's too late for me now to wish for that.

    I would love to take the meds that I need for my bipolor and migraines but I don't have the means to do that. I can't wait to get approve for SSDI so then I can get things sorted and start to have a life. Right now I'm stuck. I don't have a car nor a GED. So what kind of job can I get No job no money no money no meds no meds I'm screwed. It's like I'm running in circles and there's no opening anywhere.

    I kinda see what you mean about me being my worse enemy. It's that I don't seem to have the control I should have over myself and I don't know how to gain control of myself so I can get better. This whole addiction recovery is a lot harder than I imange it to be. Everyone else makes it look easy.

    later

    Travis

    P.S I hope your son gets the recovery that he needs. He's very lucky to have a mom like you.

     
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