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  • Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?



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    Old 07-17-2005, 11:07 AM   #1
    thom3
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    Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    I am having a really hard time with this. Short story - 39 yr old woman with a great hubby of 11 yrs and 3 great kids - 10,8 and 2. Problem - started Vikes about 3 months ago and worked up to about 8 10/500's a day. Why should I stop if it makes me feel better. And I DO feel better on it. I am a better and nicer person, mother and wife. I know as soon as I take it I will be so much nicer and more calm than I ever am or have been in my life.

    I have heard so many horror stories though. And the money is killing me. I have spent about $1500 in the past few months on it. I have a refill coming fedex tomorrow and want to get it.

    Why shouldn't I? Somebody please help. I have been off for 6 days and the worst DT's are over. But I am still agitated and depressed and just don't want anything to do with my kids. What is wrong with me? I know as soon as I take a couple pills all will be fine with the world.

    Please help and prove to me why I should NOT accept this package tomorrow.

     
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    Old 07-17-2005, 11:48 AM   #2
    sk777
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    I think if you are medicating to make yourself a better wife, mother, etc., then there are other options that won't ruin your liver, cost you thousand of dollars and make you "high" all the time. I would start w/ therapy and they can recommend anti-depressants or anti-anxiety or even just therapy. One of my biggest symptoms when I'm not on anti-depressants is that I'm "grouchy" (I've been told this).

    My sister, who is also a mom, has been smoking pot lately, a lot, to deal w/ anxiety. She thinks she's calmer, etc. But she's always high when I see her and last week I really needed her to be there for me, to talk to her about serious stuff, and when we even had plans to talk, she was high. Nobody wants to have a serious, heart-felt conversation with someone who is high.

    Also, my parents are alcoholics, and I have to say as a kid, I hated when my parents were drunk. Their behavior was highly disturbing to me. I would try to get away from them. I still have the same reaction today, so if you think you are a better mom when you are high, you may not be right.

    So, this post is more judgemental sounding than my usual posts, but you asked to be convinced, so I'm trying to convince you. And here's the last bit: opiates can ruin your health, your mental faculties and kill you. You are a mother and obviously care deeply about being a good one. I can guarantee you your kids and husband want you to be happy, healthy and around for a while.

    P.S. The agitation and depression are part of the withdrawal, and may go on for a while longer. You've seen the worst part though and you will steadily improve from now on.

    Last edited by sk777; 07-17-2005 at 11:53 AM.

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 11:49 AM   #3
    toomany
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    It doesn't sound like there is a thing anyone could say to you today to make you turn away a brand new bottle of pills in the morning. I know I wouldn't have while I was still unsure if that was the thing to do. In fact I always thought that what I really needed to do was cut way down! I made that promise to myself with each new bottle, I just couldn't do it.

    Until the negatives of being addicted to pain killers out weigh the positives I doubt you will quit. It is one of those things you decide for yourself.

    Have you made a list of the plus and minus of being an addict? That might help. Sure, go ahead and put how happy and good humored, and what a better mother you think you are, etc. But also put down the negatives such as hiding your use, lying about it, driving under the influence with your kids and maybe their friends?

    When you feel bad enough, you will decide what is best for you and your family. There is help for you when you are ready. Sorry to sound cold but that is how I see it and you asked.

    Good luck.

    Patty

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 12:26 PM   #4
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    prayers are with you. Hope you love your kids and hubby enough to become sober and deal with life like everyone else..........good luck for your kid's sake

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 02:56 PM   #5
    Catholic_dad
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by thom3
    I am having a really hard time with this. Short story - 39 yr old woman with a great hubby of 11 yrs and 3 great kids - 10,8 and 2. Problem - started Vikes about 3 months ago and worked up to about 8 10/500's a day. Why should I stop if it makes me feel better. And I DO feel better on it. I am a better and nicer person, mother and wife. I know as soon as I take it I will be so much nicer and more calm than I ever am or have been in my life.

    I have heard so many horror stories though. And the money is killing me. I have spent about $1500 in the past few months on it. I have a refill coming fedex tomorrow and want to get it.

    Why shouldn't I? Somebody please help. I have been off for 6 days and the worst DT's are over. But I am still agitated and depressed and just don't want anything to do with my kids. What is wrong with me? I know as soon as I take a couple pills all will be fine with the world.

    Please help and prove to me why I should NOT accept this package tomorrow.
    I wrote to you on another thread and I do not believe that myself or anyone can talk you into not accepting that package tommorrow if that is what you really want to do. This is basically the crux of addiction. Nobody ever starts off taking drugs because they want to become drug addicts. People like myself become addicted to drugs because of the fact that there is some benefit that one derives from using drugs to begin with, whether it be euphoria, elimination of an unwanted emotion like depression or anxiety or the elimination of a physical pain. The reason anyone gets addicted to anything whether it is booze, shopping, sex, drugs or whatever is because it makes us "feel better" temporarily.

    If there was never any benefit at all to taking drugs then none of us would become addicted to begin with. But with the "benefit" of this drug making you a "better person", there is also the cost that goes along with that. In your case I can see that you are taking alot of acetaminophen with this and you are in danger of damaging your liver. You also run the risk of having a respiratory arrest as do any of us. Even though that is true if you are like me or typical in what is seen in people with drug addictions you probably are not worried about your liver or your ability to breath or lack thereof. However as you continue to use you will begin to eliminate your feelings if you have not done so already. This is called tolerance. As this happens then you will eventually need to take more drugs to acheive that "good feeling" that you are experiencing right now. As this continues you will need to lie more to your family and doctor about your drug use. As time goes on your children will be effected by the fact that their mother is not their for them emotionally and will become increasingly distant. You husband will someday get sick of your drug abuse and will either file for divorce or your drug abuse will force him to deal with you on a pathological level in turn making him dysfunctional and the story goes on and on.

    The previous scenario may or may not happen. But do you really want to risk it. My suggestion is to find a good doctor and tell him what is going on and maybe you should be on suboxone or subutex or another drug that is much safer and less addicting. Have your doctor suggest a sub doctor in your area.

    I hope that you make the best decision for you and your family and not accept the package. But there is always help is you really want it.

    Andrew

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 04:08 PM   #6
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    When you are clear headed, ask yourself the same question you are asking us, why should you quit? You know why.

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 04:59 PM   #7
    thom3
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    Thanks for the great advice, Andrew. And you were right on with everything you said. For the last post - I am clear headed. I have not taken anything in a week. Just what the neurologist gave me after extensive testing - adderall and zoloft. I am only taking what is given to me. That's why I am worried. From what I had heard - adderall was this "wonder" drug that would make me feel normal right away. Well, I have felt nothing...except depression and mood swings from hell. What great mother does this make me? They deserve better than me.

    Tomorrow I go to the OB because it could quite possibly be hormonal. Maybe she can help.

    Oh well - I was and am not looking for pity in any way. I also know all I do is my responsibilty and no one elses. For the person who said they hope I can care enough about my family to quit - it has NOTHING to do with that. I love my children more than I can explain.

    Well - thank you for all your posts. I did ask your opinions. I will not accept the package. I will go on with my life best I can - with God's help every step. And I will hopefully feel normal and some form of happiness some day.

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 05:06 PM   #8
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    I agree that no one can "convince" you to stop,you gotta do it for "you" and you may "THINK" you are a better mom, and you are in a better mood,(in your own mind) when in reality Im sure there are alot that see right thru you, you arent fooling anyone but yourself, not to mention the bad physical things you are doing to your body. Put your "addiction" to better work, try getting "addicted" to a craft, or what ever you like to do, take pictures of your kids, and build your own Homepage" you can do it for free thru Yahoo, start your own support group, and help others while you are helping yourself ,the worst that could happen would be you just might meet and make a good friend. Remember that aggitation, will soon pass,as will the depression, go for a walk outside in the fresh air, just look around at all the beauty of nature, and be gretful to be alive, do you know how many sick and suffering people out there would LOVE to be able to just go out for a walk, Enjoy your kids while they are young and make great memories for them. I almost lost all this 15 yrs ago when I was addicted to alcohol, I thought I could do everything better (but it was only in my own head) Ive been sober 15 years and yes it was hard the first 6 months were AWFUL, but with the help of a great hubby and family and GOD, I did it. Best of luck to you,it WLL GET BETTER, that I promise you. Hugs Sandie

     
    Old 07-17-2005, 06:42 PM   #9
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    Thom 3

    I also started using vics for legit pain issues. It didn't take long for me to start increasing my dosage. At first it was as perscribed. Then within 6 months I was up to 10-12 pills a day and I didn't even have any pain. For 8 years I was taking 25-30 a day. Believe me before you know it they will take over your life. Stop now while its not that bad. I quit on fathers day and for the first time in 8+ years I've been drug free for 30 days. Do it for you and your family.

    Good luck and God Bless.

    FJ31

     
    Old 07-18-2005, 06:44 AM   #10
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    hello thom3...........i think you made an awesome decision on not accepting the package. congrats on that and doing without hydros for a week. i too have been ct for five days now. not easy but extremely possible. you are right too in your last post,that with the help of GOD we all can do this and much more. i know that He has so much more instore for me than to be a slave to this stupid pills. i have been taking them for about 6 or 7 years. got up to 15 or so a day 10/325's. started out similar to you but then you have to take more to achieve the desired effect. NO GOOD !!!!!!! please keep up the good work and seek GOD for your strength.

     
    Old 07-18-2005, 08:04 AM   #11
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    Thom -

    I just wrote you on another thread--I hadn't read this one.

    I cannot offer you better advice than the wonderful answers you just got here. But I will reinforce the one thing that eventually got me to stop using the oxys. They simply did not work any longer. In fact--I felt worse and worse and worse. And sicker and sicker and sicker! I wish I could give you some more spiritual, intelligent reason for why I finally stopped these awful drugs. But the truth is that I was so terribly addicted to them that only feeling worse ON them than OFF them forced me to deal with the problem. It's frightening how all the good reasons in the world to stop taking drugs, can just fall by the wayside in the face of addiction. I would never have believed that I could manage to "rationalize" drugs.....but I did. :-(

    But....the reasons written above by the others are certainly EACH a reason on their OWN to turn down those pills that will be arriving!!! It just takes awhile to see that. And....everyone here will try to support and help you no matter which direction you go for now.

    Hope you're feeling better soon. Lynn :-)

     
    Old 07-18-2005, 08:34 AM   #12
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    Why did you start them in the first place. Are you in physical pain daily. I am and I got a script for them but I might take 1 every few days and only if I really need it. It really doesn't do much for me. I say get some help to quit taking them. If you need them for pain there might be a better and safer option.

     
    Old 07-18-2005, 11:45 AM   #13
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    Re: Why should I stop the Hydrocodone?

    Just wanted to add that I (and I imagine I'm not the only one) do appreciate the question, I think we've all asked ourselves that at least once or a million times. I know. When everything is working well, it seems like 'who cares if I'm addicted, I'm nicer, a better mom, more patient..." etc. But the problem is that it won’t always work out so easily. Like Twinlynn said, eventually you will need more pills, therefore more money. You’ll have to lie to your husband, conceal your credit card bills, lock yourself in the bathroom to count your pills, know in the back of your mind that you will be miserable if you don’t have them – and then you’re at the mercy of your "source" – be it your doctor or some sketchy internet pharmacy or a friend that may or may not keep supplying you. If nothing else for me, it was the fear of running out. I knew that I would have to quit eventually, and I could do it on my own terms or I could wait to be blindsided by it and caught unaware.
    Incidentally, you mentioned you are on adderall. I am on ritalin for ADHD, and I have heard a lot about the severe mood swings and/or irritability that can be caused by adderall. Maybe that is responsible for some agitation?
    Good luck, and I think you are VERY VERY strong to not accept that package. If someone delivered drugs right to my door, I would have a real struggle on my hands. Good for you.

     
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