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KaliSc 09-01-2005 08:12 PM

Rapid detox? Medical detox? detox at all?
I know this will be a long post because I can't be brief on any letter. And it is my first in this forum. At least first on why I came to this forum. This is a great forum and it seems there are many caring people here. I just found this forum two days ago and have been reading and reading. Now I thought I would communicate and make a start.

I have been a morphine/opium addict for 3-4 years now. I started out with one 30 mg pill a day and have progressed to the equivalent of 360 mg a day. Quiting comes to mind every once in a while when I get tired and bored of the whole thing. But I can't. I am too afraid. I haven't been in withdrawals for years now but the thought scared me. Two days ago what I obtained didn't have the potency I expected. It took me a while to figure it out since much of the time I spend just getting to "normal" and not high. Anyway, after about 24 hours I ended up in full withdrawals.

I had NO IDEA HOW BAD THEY WOULD BE. Sure I get mild withdrawals in the morning before I drink my "tea." But no real withdrawals for years. They were exponentially worse than I remembered. I couldn't sit still for 1 minute. I couldn't sit still to log into my computer. I wasn't capable of having a conversation. I was whining and yelling and begging the air to make it stop. I scared my dog.

I wasn't having mild spasms but found myself jerking my limbs about to stop the pain. Earlier I could bounce my legs to calm it down but that stopped working. I voided pretty much everything in my body. I finally got something that made most of the symptoms go away. And now I am back to "normal."

I guess my question is how long would that REALLY REALLY BAD PLACE have lasted if I didn't get anything? Days? Earlier w/d's I would lie on the couch and rock or sit and rock and watch TV, best would be movies that made me cry. Take baths. Try to walk. No sleep. General misery. I thought it was hell. This was so much worse.

My husband is now detoxing for the second time off of alcohol. We are both taking a big look at our lifestyles and what we are doing. I am tired of my own game but not sure if I am tired enough to really quit. I figure if I quit there can be only once. I will have to be hospitalized for rapid detox or go on a very potent medical detox. Not with a doctor or center that believes those articles about "flu-like symptoms." I would pay anything to have just those flu-like symptoms from 20-40 mg per day.

I know this withdrawal was an accident but I am scared and tired of the whole thing. Tired of saving up pills for vacations or work travel or emergencies like out of town funerals. Scared that some travel will come up and I won't have enough pills. Tired of brewing the tea every day. Tired of taking so many rolaids that I started building a soft chew rolaids wrapper chain - like the gum wrapper chains I made in grade school. It is over 10 feet long. All that lemon juice is not good for my stomach. Tired of being overweight and not able to lose since I need all the sugar in the tea. (I tried the sugar free stuff but had some of the worst symptoms of sacarine/whatever poisoning...only natural stuff from then on.) Scared that I am ingesting enormous amounts of pesticides.

Tired of being ashamed. Tired of hiding. Tired of napping. Appalled at all the money spent. My husband and I figured we spend $10,000+ a year for our addictions. Including cigarettes for me. I guess that is our retirement. Work forever because we chose to be addicts.

Has anyone here done the rapid detox and how was it? Would the medical detox take away my symptoms? I know for sure I cannot go cold turkey. Tapering is so hard and I can't see myself not cheating. I am also scared to be branded by my insurance company as a morphine addict. If I pay for it on my own will I slip through the cracks and it won't be on my permanent record?

I don't know if I am ready yet. I think it is time to start planning though.

troublemagnet 09-01-2005 11:44 PM

Re: Rapid detox? Medical detox? detox at all?
99% of what I've read regarding Rapid Detox is SCARY! Some say it's the worst pain of thier lives!

Every now and then someone says it was a cake walk...

Of course, if you recovered happily, you might not find yourself "speaking out" about the experience - visiting boards and stuff...

I'm gonna call some RapiD Dtox places tomorrow and see if I can speak to 3 patients personally.

If anyone's interested, I'll post my results here.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

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