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    Old 10-18-2005, 09:33 AM   #61
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Hey Felicia,

    Good to hear from you. Honey, we all need a change sometimes. Nothing wrong with that at all. Change is good!! If it makes you feel good and it's not illegal or drugs, then go for it. I so sorry to hear about your friends. When I first got clean, I had no job, no car and no money either. So I know exactly where she is, except I was just beginning my recovery. Just let her know you care and that things will get better. Where is home for your husband? How long will he be gone? Ohhhh, a trip to Mexico. Sounds good to me. It's an adventure that you will be able to remember your entire life. Hope you have a great time and tell us all about it when you get back.

     
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    Old 10-26-2005, 09:36 AM   #62
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Hey sumtimes slowly and all my friends,

    I'm still a recovering addict too!!! This morning I had my TASK assessment to set up my drug testing per family court order. I called for this TASK assessment a month ago the day after court. And the first appt. they had open was today. VERY FRUSTRATED right now. I'm 69 days clean with outpatient rehab, but because I asked for inpatient 67 days ago, the TASK case worker wrote the recommendation for me to continue to go to outpatient until a space opens up with inpatient. Even though I don't want to go in patient at this point, I don't know what to do. I have left a message for the DHR social worker and my attorney to call me. But if history holds true, I will have to call them for days and maybe even weeks to get in touch with anyone. I wonder how the judge will look at it. If all drug screens are negative, complete outpatient rehab., get a job, complete parenting classes, have documentation of attendance of CA/NA meetings everyday and sometimes twice a day.

    I'm right in the middle (3rd interview with same company) for a great job. Attend CA/NA meetings everyday/night. Have a sponsor and working the steps, go to outpatient rehab two times per week, parenting class is one time a week. I'm headin to a noon meeting in just a little while, rehab later today and another meeting tonight because of the frustration and anger I have over this crap. Gotta call my sponsor in a minute too.

    Hopefully by the time I get back home tonight, I'll be more mentally clear. This is the kind of frustration that would push some folks back to use. But today it is increasing my determination to stay clean and get this sh.. completed and get out of the system. The system is there to protect my child, but here in Alabama it is very messed up. I totally understand how so many folks don't get the things done that are required to get their kids back. If I didn't have a great support system and a professional management background/mentality I would just throw up my hands too. For those who have no support system or shear determination to succeed, they are absolutely screwed in the DHR system here. I've heard horror stories over the years on the news here about DHR system and I from my short experience there's no doubt that it's all true and not any better than 10 years ago even though they have supposedly revamped the system.

    Sorry guys, just needed to vent. Hope everyone is having a great day and I'll check back in tonight.

     
    Old 10-27-2005, 12:36 AM   #63
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    That's right, just get it out of your head Arememom--don't give anything free rent. We addicts talk this stuff out and as a result end up doing a better job at life than normies (because we got good training and an army of friends)!

    I didn't get the "pleasure" of going through the TASK & DHR stuff. My God, I'd be p.o.'d too! You're doing it all and it will come back to you.

    There's no problem I have today that a drink or drug won't make worse. I know the thinking though--it's sometimes tempting to look at sobriety as the culprit! But we know that just ain't the case. Sobriety is the foundation of life.

    I care about what you're going through but I can't say I'm worried in the least being that you're pretty tough--you got fortitude.

    I'm appreciative for today and am looking forward to the progress that tomorrow will bring.

    Have a good one,

    sumtimes s.

     
    Old 10-27-2005, 05:39 AM   #64
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Aremememom - hang in there girl...you can beat them. You are doing all the right things and sooner or later it will pay off. Atleast you know that a drug won't fix it and that is tremendous growth. Keep venting..keep hitting those meetings...keep using that sponsor. You're doing GREAT!

     
    Old 10-27-2005, 09:40 PM   #65
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Thanks everyone!!! Today has been great. When I went on the front porch this morning to smoke (don't smoke in the house) I prayed for God to take it all over and do what he would. A peace then came and good things have happened all day. My daughter and a friend came to our CA meeting tonight. I think it was good for both of them. They saw people young and old, different races, different walks of life coming together. They got to see how happy we were and hear the stories, see what getting your chips was about. We had a guy who picked up his 2 year chip, as well as folks getting 30 and 60 day chips. The kids had already seen my 24hr and 60 day chip. We're having a halloween party, haunted house and regular meeting on Sat. The kids are excited they are going to be in the haunted house with us. I was glad to see my daughter happy because it will always be a big part of our life. And she liked the cute boys there. She picked one out for me that was young enough to be my child. She is too funny.

    Hope everyone is having a great night and I'll check in later.

     
    Old 10-28-2005, 02:10 AM   #66
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Glad to read you had a good one, Arememom! I should have mentioned it appears you've got a good higher-power too.

    Master of the Latches is one fond way my sponsor refers to God. He's the guy who helps me keep the safety latches in place so I don't flip out.

    Seeing and knowing people from all walks of life at the meetings is a great thing as this disease knows no boundaries to race, creed, economic status, etc. The program is the only place I've been where I have friends from every continent (ok, except Antartica) who are lawyers, doctors, engineers, cops, priests, Marines, homemakers, homeless, home-builders, actors, musicians, atheists, jews, christians, & buddhists, democrats & republicans, etc., AND they're all friends with each other!

    Happy Friday,

    sumtimes s.

     
    Old 10-29-2005, 01:05 AM   #67
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Hey Everyone,

    Hope everyone is doing well tonight. Just got home a little after 2:00am from a busy and fun day. My home group in CA is having a halloween party and haunted house. We worked on the haunted house, then went to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and then out to eat Sushi. There were about 10 of us and we had a blast. Never had Sushi in a real Sushi bar before. It was good!!!! Like the HOT ?? Malzia ?? Cleared my sinuses right up.

    Vickyuser - The second interview went well. They have had some major problems this week though and we didn't meet like we had planned on Wednesday. I'm going to lunch with the owner and two managers next week. Said would have a package offer for me then. I guess that means if all goes well at lunch, I may have a job. Hope so!!

    Have a great Saturday and I'll be back to check in after the Haunted House.

     
    Old 10-29-2005, 05:39 AM   #68
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Arememom

    You have been such an inspiration to everyone on this board. Good things come to those who do good! They would be crazy not to give you the job. Keep us posted and good luck.

    Today might be hard for me. I am exhausted as my daughter called at 3:00am. She is fine now but I haven't slept. Not good for me. But I am at 26 days and I will be OK.(positive attitude LOL)

    Your Friend,
    Vickyuser

     
    Old 10-29-2005, 08:08 AM   #69
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Arememom, Hey how are you? sounds like you may just have this job. I will be praying for you. I know God has the right job just for you, dont give up. OKAY !!!Its hard job hunting I know, IT took me three months to find one in this little town I live in, and I hated it. I did it to pay the bills, but still had nothing left. MY dream is to be an faux finisher, I have done alot of work in that field .But you have to have money to advertise. and I live in a small town people here look confussed when you tell them of your work. But I have made up my mind that when I get back from Mexico in DEC. I am going to put all I have in to it, and set up appointments with Interor designers from the bigger citys and get my work.Because I feel in my heart I am good at this.I Have a interior degree, from years ago, But never use it because JOnathan was born sick, So I stayed home with him, then I became ill, for years BUT now its time to take a leap.My husband thinks I am crazy and I am just blowning smoke, OH BUT I am determand To make my dream come true, Some where some how. my door will open up. I have faith in God and he knows what I wont. YOU take care Be good to your self, Look in that mirrow and smile and tell yourself how much you love yourself. give yourself a big hug for me.Remember all things are possible for those who love God and believe in his name. YOUR FRIEND FELICIA

     
    Old 10-30-2005, 01:14 AM   #70
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Hey There,

    Vickyuser - Hope you had a good day. I plan to go to be at least by 4:00am. I'm turning off the ringer on the phone and sleeping until I wake up own my own or 3:00pm (which ever comes first - lol). I have to be at the clean up of our Haunted House at 4:00 pm. Yeah!!!! Now you're 27 days clean. I continue to count everyday and today I'm 74 days clean. I go to a recovery website that calculates clean time in days, hours, minutes and seconds. It is the coolest thing you every saw. I'm like over 4,000,000 seconds clean. Like the looks of that. lol I do lots of fun stuff online to make me happy and feel good about myself.

    Felicia - I posted a long reply to you on your thread. What is Faux finisher? It sounds creative. And I know it is if you have a degree in Interior Design. Never let anyone discourage you from pursuing your dreams. What would life be like without hopes and dreams. I too have a dream of owning my own business AGAIN!! But this time, I'll be the sole owner. I want to have my own little speciality shop, selling home decor, costume jewerly and much more(too long to list - lol). You know, one of those cosy little shops you love to browse around in. Nothing in there that you actually have to have, just things that you like to buy to add charm to your home. I'm actually thinking about taking the money from the sale of my house (when I sell it), putting it in a CD and using it to open that business sometime early fall next year. Once I have everything taken care of with my family court issues and my child and I are back together. By early fall I will have been in recovery a year and hopefully will be ready to move on with the next chapter of my life. Too bad your husband can't be more supportive of your dreams. Who knows, maybe once you start this journey, he'll jump on board with support. Thank you so much for all your support. I am blessed to have made so many new friends since I started this journey into recovery 74 days ago. I have made many friends on this message board and on the online NA chatroom I joined. I can now say I have friends all over the world - USA, England, Australia, Germany and Canada are a few places that come to mind. And of course there are my new friends in my CA group. Have a great Sunday and do something fun to enjoy the day.

     
    Old 10-30-2005, 05:44 AM   #71
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    AREMEMOM, Hi faux finish is a art form done on walls in homes,ect... To fool the eye. it is a sight to see.painting a pitcher on a whole wall. and I know you will have that shop one day too. You have a great Sunday too Felicia

     
    Old 10-30-2005, 11:07 AM   #72
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Hey Felica,

    Now I know exactly what Faux finish is and looks like. I knew I'd heard of it, but my mind just wouldn't pull it up from deep memory. My memory isn't what it use to be. Not related to the past drug use, I hope. I had memory problems before use but it certainly didn't help. Hope your day is going well.

    Last edited by Arememom; 10-30-2005 at 11:08 AM.

     
    Old 10-30-2005, 02:41 PM   #73
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Thank you Arememom,
    Your right I am at 27 days. Thank you for your concern and care. I had a really bad day yesterday. Cried all day and hurt all over but I got through it and feel much better today. Even my back doesn't hurt as bad. Thanks for all your support. I couldn't have done it without you.

    Yours,
    Vickyuser

     
    Old 11-02-2005, 09:43 PM   #74
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Hey guys,

    Hope everyone had a good Wednesday. I've decided that Wednesdays are my bad days. I'm gonna just lock myself in the house and turn off the phone every Wednesday. Just kidding. But seriously, I was supposedly signed up for TASK (random drug testing) last Thursday. So I call everyday and finally my color comes up Tuesday, so I go today to give my specimen. And guess what, my social worker hadn't faxed the information to TASK. Now when I talked to her last Thursday, her last words to me, "I'm going to fax the paperwork when I hang up with you." The task worker was very nice and said they had that problem with DHR all the time. Unfortunately, he couldn't test me and said it wouldn't go against me. I left a message for my social worker, her boss and my attorney. For those of you who know my whole ordeal with DHR, know that this social worker and her supervisors are pitiful. I understand, why so many children in Birmingham, AL in the system end up dead. There are multiple lawsuits against DHR for wrongful deaths of kids. I also understand why so many families lose their kids. If you aren't bullheaded and persistant, you and your child(ren) will fall through the cracks of this pitiful system.

    Met with my attorney today about evicting my exboyfriend out of my house. It cost me $450 today. Just to get started. Remember, I have no job. whine, whine, whine.

    My daughter (living with my best friend) has been late to school multiple times and my friend got a call today about it. I blew a fuse with her and my child today. It's not acceptable for her to be late. DHR and the school are looking for any little problem. Hopefully my talk with my friend alone and with my daughter and friend together will have taken care of this issue.

    I was 3 minutes late to outpatient rehab tonight and she wouldn't let me in class. She's a tough bird, but I knew she wouldn't let me in. I've seen her in action too many times with folks coming in late. But I have no control over traffic. The good thing is, I can make the day up this Friday. So that really didn't upset me. Just irritating at the end of a long day.

    Ready for some good news!!! Third interview with three management executives at the company I hope to go to work with. We actually went to lunch at a Private Club that over looks the city here. The sun was shining and I enjoyed the view from our table by the huge windows. I am suppose to find out about the job Friday. Keep your fingers, toes, legs crossed. Praying wouldn't hurt either.

    After this long, emotionally exhausting day, I came home, ate and tried to talk myself out of going to a NA meeting tonight. So, I picked up my purse and out the door I went. The meeting was great. And as usual I heard all the things I needed to hear. It never ceases to amaze me, when I have a crappy day the rooms always know what I need. That's the greatness of my higher power.

    I know I haven't posted much lately. I'm so wrapped up in myself, it's hard to focus to even read post. I hope everyone is doing well and if you need me just "YELL" really loud and hopefully I'll hear you. I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers everyday and hope you will do the same for me and my family/friends.

     
    Old 11-03-2005, 12:29 AM   #75
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    Re: Any Crack Addicts Out There Like Me?

    Well reading your post was just what I needed to hear today. Dam, you want your sobriety, don't you.

    I can't think of a better time and place to be WAY bullheaded than with those kids regarding a government agency.

    I hope and pray good things for you Arememom (and all!). Good things and God's will are the same thing to me now. Some of those good things don't seem so good right away but they always end up good.

    If you of all people are lamenting about not posting much then my post rate must be downright pathetic. I had a sponsor (the shrink) who used to preach 8 hours of work, 8 hours of sleep, and 8 hours of recreation and self-improvement. It's a nice standard and I hope to reach it (or get near it) someday.

    You're a miracle. Tell me how your step work is coming if you get a moment. Y'all come back now, hear? (Aw c'mon I had to say it!)

    ss

     
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