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    Old 09-25-2005, 05:22 PM   #16
    Felicia65
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    SpansMoney, What are you addicted to? Hon you may need to go see a doctor, and get this help, You can do it if thats what you really wont, The fiest week is the worst after that it is up hill. And don;t worry about what your friends say do it for you. God bless you........... Keep posting, take alot of hot baths, eat crackers, You will get to feeling better shortly I promise. God is with you talk to him ,.............Felicia

     
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    Old 09-25-2005, 07:30 PM   #17
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    In all truth I am not addicted to just one thing. I am a total junkie. I will do anything and everything for a high...

    About 5 years ago I started smoking pot and drinking but only on the weekends. Then it turned into a nightly thing. Every single night I would hang out with older friends and drink Vodka and smoke weed. Then when I was 14 I met a guy who had Xanax. I took one but thenthat wasn't enough so I would take two or three and so on and so on until iI couldn't stand to not have them. I finally broke the Xanax habit for the most part. I still take them sometimes and there will be weeks where I go back to being a total Xanax freak and will take 4 or more a day for weeks at a time. Umm... then there's my major weakness... Ultram... I started taking Ultram right before my 15th birthday. taking my first Ultram was like the biggest mistakeof my life. They are the one drug that I would do anything for and that is so sad. I basically let Ultram control my life for the last 3 years. I would buy them at any price or steal them. I felt that I wasn't me unless I was on Ultram. Just hearing the word makes me want them. I remember I would snort them off my desk in 1st period just to wake up and then by 4th period my friends would have to wake me up and tell me where my next class was. that was last school year. Not a good year at all for me. That was when I started using Oxy's , Lortabs, Coke, Meth, etc... any thing I could get my hands on whether i knew what it was or not... and that's where i was up until 3 days ago.
    Trying to come clean is so hard and it hurts and I am really scared. what if I have permantly damaged myself? What if i can't come clean? I feel very alone in all of this because my family and my friends have no idea what's going on. i feel bad to have been lying to them for so long and I don't know how to tell them. And part of me wants to not tell anyone and deal with it by myself. But then there's the part of me that wants my Mommy. I am scared.
    Sorry that I went on and on but I had to get it out of me. Well at least some of it... I didn't even mention the alcohol... which I am also trying to stop completely and is so hard. But i am doing good on that one. Thanks for the support. I am almost through day 3!!!
    Love, SpasMonkey

     
    Old 09-25-2005, 08:45 PM   #18
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Hi SpasticMonkey,

    I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. But it will pass. The first week is the hardest physically. It's even harder for you since you're trying to do this alone, without family/friend support. It's almost impossible to do alone. We are here to support you all the way. And if you fall down along the way, we'll still be here. But I stress to you, you must talk to someone. Can you go to NA without family/friends knowing? You need the support of people who are just like you and me. I'm a 48 yr old recovering crack addict. My family and friends had no idea either. At least not until the very end. I was shutting out my entire family and old (non-using) friends. When I came clean with them at first they were shocked. But once that was over most all of my family and friends have been a huge support to me. I had tried to stop on my own without help for many months. I would stay clean a week or so and then I'd be back smoking again. You don't have to do this alone. If the only reason you're not telling your mom is because you don't want to disappoint her, gather you're strength and take that step. I know the feelings you're having now. But a huge weight was lifted off of me once I had told everyone. The hiding, lying was killing me as much as the drug. My family/friends cried with me and laughed with me. But most of all they support me to stay clean. It's a long hard road. Getting clean is actually the easy part, staying clean day by day is the hard part. It gets easier as time passes. But I will always be an addict til the day I die. I must live life in a different way. A different mind set. You are a strong young person and you can do this. Take one minute at a time. I wish the best for you and hope to hear from you each day. Tell us the good and the bad. I hope you have a good night. Sleep if you can.

     
    Old 09-26-2005, 06:18 AM   #19
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Being a mother my self, And speaking to you as a mother, You need to talk to someone I am not sure how your relasionship is with your mother But please don;t fight this alone. I wish my son would have came too me a long time ago, I could have atleast tryed to get him some help. You have got to get in a NA program, If you won;t to pull though this, you need this support system. If you think you need help coming off then go to your doctor and let them get you the help. But please do not waste your life, Life is a gift to each and everyone of us. This world is full of places to go things to see, You can go on and become anything you wont to. But DRugs will leave you empty and going no where.It is so important for you to know you are not alone Please go to the NA meetings. There are people that have been where you are at today,and you need to understand this,Some of them spent years and years being addicts and have lost there family, true friends, And most of all there self respect. Some where deep in side you .... YOU know you are worth more than this! And you have got to be strong and do what ever it takes to stay clean, I am going to tell you something, I belive in a higher power and Mine is jesus and God the father... He is bigger than this, And he can set you free If you take your faith and place it where it needs to be he will show you the light at the end of this tunel. Understand this drugs is the devils work , But there is someone more powerful than him and that is GOD... pray my child and ask for Gods help........... I will be praying for you and that your eyes will be opened to every thing around you. Go to a NA meeting Your friend felicia

     
    Old 09-26-2005, 01:17 PM   #20
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Day 16 getting off methadone any advice to what i should do to keep motivated and get thru this uncontrolable behavior..im wonder if adderall would affect my 16 day opiate free streak goin cold turkey i heard it was a class of alot of drugs not knowing this yesterday before i took the add. for school. Any advice plz help anxious to know if I ****ed up with the 16 day process

     
    Old 09-26-2005, 01:30 PM   #21
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Spasmonkey, what is it that you are withdrawing from right now? If you are feeling awful on the third day there must be a type of drug that you have taken pretty much daily for the last little while? Opiates? Benzos? Meth? Baribituates? Booze?

    Some meds. you can quit taking all at once (cold turkey) and you will feel bad, but it won't kill you. Some meds. you are risking your health by quitting cold turkey. You must know what it is that you have taken the most of lately?

    It sounds like you are pre-disposed to addiction. Some believe (me included) that some people are 'wired' to become addicts much easier than other people. Some go thru life never having to worry and some find their DOC (drug of choice) and they are off to the races.

    If I were your friend or parent, I would get you to a rehab facility now, at your young age, so that you can get all the facts about drugs (both Rx'd and street) while you are detoxing from them. Now days the ones that are having the most success are at least 6 months long.

    If you are still clean after this amount of time you are past the worst of it - assuming it is an opiate - and it will get easier from here on out.

    The hardest part after that is going to be staying clean. If you are smart you will stop hanging around with friends that are into drugs. Stop going where there is alcohol. Any kind of excercise will help you sleep and will get your brain producing endorphins again.

    Good luck!! I hope we see you still on here in a year helping people that HAD your problem!!

    Chaz

     
    Old 09-26-2005, 09:59 PM   #22
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    WOW! Day 4!!!
    I am feeling better but I am still far from feeeling 100%. The worst part of today was (feeling-wise) was I kept feeling confused and dizzy-like. That made school really hard today. I am drinking lots of water because someone said it was a good idea to drink water when trying toget clean. I don't know if it's helping any though.
    I asked a friend of mine if he could get me a list of the NA meeting locations in the area because his brother used to go so I thought he could be helpful. It was hard to ask him for help like this because I used to snort Coke and crushed up Ultrams or Oxy's with him. But he is being really helpful and is suppossed to bring me the list tommorrow. I didn't expect him to just be like "whatever I will get you a list, no problem, no questions" but that's how it was. So that was cool. LOL.
    The guy I wrote about in my last post who had said some things to hurt my feelings called today and told me that He didn't think it was a good idea for him to be around me until I am clean because it puts him in a bad situation. Like if the cops pulled him over for whatever reason and I had drugs on me he could lose every license he has. I really wouldn't want to put him in that type of situation. And I don't want to lose him because I lovve this guy. So that was one more reason for me to be clean other than just for myself. Hopefully he is going to come see me this weekend(he lives 2 hours away). I should be doing a lot better then and I will definately not have any drugs on me.
    OK! So here is the problem I was faced with today: I was offered free Oxycotins and Xanax and Gin... But I said NO! I am proud of myself for saying NO but dissappointed that a little part of me wanted to say YES.
    I would go to rehab but I have so much school to do right now and I haven't told anyone in my family whats going on with me and like only one friend knows for sure whats going on. It would just be really hard for me to go. And in all truth I am scared of rehab. I don't know why. One of my biggest problems is it is very hard for me to ask for help.
    OK... Sorry that was so long and rambling. Thank you everyone so much for your support and kindness. You guys are making this eaiser on me than it has ever been when I have tried to come clean before. I think it might work this time. Plz keep posting. It helps a lot.
    Love,SpasMonkey

     
    Old 09-27-2005, 04:29 AM   #23
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Starting day 5! Wish me me luck!!! Ifeel pretty good this morning and hopefully I stay feeling pretty good. Still got a little of that confusion thing going on. Tummy still hurts but not as bad. And a little bit of a headache. Other than that it appears that today will be a good day![/SIZE]
    Love,SpasMonkey

    Last edited by SpasticMonkey; 09-27-2005 at 04:32 AM.

     
    Old 09-27-2005, 05:45 AM   #24
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    SpasticMonkey, I read on here ( you was affraid to ask for help,) Never, never be affraid too ask for help,(there will always be times in your life you need help, God give some people the knowledge to help others,these are god give gifts, that people have) God did not intead for us to be alone in our times of trouble, and sorrow.Here is short story about myself.All though my life I was abused really bad things happen to me the kind of things you only read about in books or see on movies, AT age 15 I was a street kid( meaning HOMELESS) You have heard the saying ( I dont know where my kids are. While in my case I didnt know where my parents were, I got seperated from my brother. My grandmother kept him and thew me out. While I survived with help from strangers. then at age 24 I had a break down, I was a wreak, could not drive, watch tv, could not even look out my door sometimes because fear was all inside me, It felt as though bugs were under mine skin, my mind was tormented. I seeked help everywhere, Doctors give up on me, I lived like this for 7 years they kept me dope up best they could. BUT I NEVER STOPED ASKING FOR HELP. ONE DOCTOR found the answer, I came out of this , when the med kicked in and I see the sky it was so blue and the grass was so green and every thing in me was calm.......... I had been in torment so long I had forgoten how pretty gods world was...... If I had ever stop asking for help I would not be here today writing too you. Take it from an old pro Never feel like you cant ask for help......... The lord said KNOCK AND IT SHALL BE OPENED UNTO YOU>>.. so you keep knocking on every door ( meaning ask for help) untill you find your answer(A DRUG FREE LIFE) never stop never.......PUSH FOR THE TOP. MY secret is no secret I NEVER GAVE UP ON GOD......... I can only tell you one thing if you forget me you have lost nothing, but if you forget god you have lost everything ....... THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE......... talk to someone and always talk to the lord ask him to lead you and help you...............FELICIA

     
    Old 09-27-2005, 10:17 PM   #25
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Day 5 went well. I am very tired though. Wish me luck on day 6!
    Love,SpasMonkey

    Last edited by SpasticMonkey; 09-27-2005 at 10:18 PM.

     
    Old 09-28-2005, 02:38 PM   #26
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    So...Day6 went very well for the most part so far (it is only 5:34 pm). I felt good for the majority of the day. I was thinking a lot clearer today than I have in a long time! I was more awake than I can remember ever being. And I got three straight hours of sleep last night! I haven't slept like that in years!!! Coming clean and staying clean is hard but it is getting a lot easier. I hope my day stays going good.

    Thank you guys so much for the support you are giving me. All of your posts are very meaningful and helpful. If it weren't for you I don't think I could have made it this far. Please keep posting as I still have a lot farther to go.

    Love, SpasticMonkey

     
    Old 09-28-2005, 03:06 PM   #27
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Great job! Even though I am only halfway thru day 3 and I feel pretty good. I still can on work 6-7 hours before I get worn out. I normally work 10-12 hours per day so that will come in time.

    I just wish I could get rid of these terrible runs!


    Hang tough the hard is over!

     
    Old 09-28-2005, 03:10 PM   #28
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    Reading your post breaks my heart. Let me ask you something..if I may...WHY did you do drugs?? I mean, was it because you had more fun high than you did sober? Did it take some kind of pain you were in away? Do you have issues that maybe need to be worked out? They say, people who do these drugs, have inner things that need to be dealt with. I only ask so that you migh really think about why...You are doing great. But remember if Xanax is something you are addicted to..it can be very dangerous to stop cold turkey..read about this online...seizures...are common in some people...I also read one of the other posts from a mom..I'm a mom..and I would just die if my daughter were going through something like this alone. I would be scared right along with her. But I would be there...you go through "stuff" with people you love. Whether you want to or like it, us moms would die for our kids. Your mom loves you very much I am sure and she would want to know what's happening. Do you feel as though you could talk to her? Do you live at home? Just think about it and if you feel the need to have your "mommy", please talk to her............tell her all of it...she won't hate you...I promise....keep up the good work....you are doing great and I am sooooooooo proud of you.

     
    Old 09-29-2005, 07:37 PM   #29
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    ONE WEEK as of today! WOW it is so hard to believe I have been clean for a week. I actually feel better today than I have been feeling all week. I really hope I can keep this up. It has been along time since I have been able to say that I haven't done drugs in a week. I want to be able to say two weeks...a month...six months...a year...ten years...and so on.
    I am going to my first NA meeting either on Sat. or Tues. I am a little nervous. Don't really know what goes on there and I am not really ready to bare my soul to a whole group of people...well at least not in person. I still haven't told my parents or anyone. I am going to try to do this without them ever knowing because I really don't want everyone involved. It will just hurt them and they will think that they did something wrong and they didn't so it is just easier this way.
    Sleep is coming easier now and that is amazing. Got 5 straight hours last night. omg it was unbelievable.
    Thanks so much for your support guys. You are all very helpful. Keep posting please.
    Love, SpasMonkey

     
    Old 09-29-2005, 09:05 PM   #30
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    Re: I am an 18 yr.old addict...plz help.

    SpasticMonkey,

    I'm so glad you are doing so well. With each passing day you will feel better. And if you have a bad day we'll be here. I'm so happy you have decided to go to a NA meeting. You aren't expected to say anything at meetings. They do go around the room and everyone introduces themselves by telling their first name and I'm an addict. That's the only thing I could get out at my first meeting, I sat and cried the rest of the time. Especially when someone was telling the group something that sounded just like me. There's no pressure there, just a group of addicts trying to stay clean. You may have to go to several different meeting sites before you find the one you want to be your home. Point is if you don't like the first place you go, don't give up. It's an amazing fellowship like nothing I'd ever experienced before. If you have any questions before you go, just post and we'll try to give you any info. I know I was nervous about going the first time. I doubt that there's anyone here who wasn't nervous on their first meeting. But the second meeting you won't be the new person there anymore. Hope you have a good night and get at least a few more hours sleep. Nitey Nite

     
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