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-   -   I'm new here and I need some help... (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/addiction-recovery/332665-im-new-here-i-need-some-help.html)

GinaMia 10-14-2005 09:43 PM

I'm new here and I need some help...
 
I'm addicted to Vicodin and I know I [B]NEED[/B] to stop. The problem is, I don't [B]WANT[/B] to. I know, I know, [I]you have to want to quit in order to quit[/I]. I get so ill when I try quitting and it's unbearable. I can't work or function. I'm desperate. I can never seem to "wean" or "taper" off. The monkey on my back is always screaming. Any detox remedies or advice? How about listing some reason's why I SHOULD stop. I feel like I'm such a better person on them...I'm happier, more confident, social, energetic, I could go on and on. Please, any kind words or advice would be deeply appreciated. :(

Constant 10-14-2005 09:59 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
Read the threads on the board.

Not much anyone can say or do to convince you to stop. It just doesn't work that way.

GinaMia 10-14-2005 10:16 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
[QUOTE=Constant]Read the threads on the board.

Not much anyone can say or do to convince you to stop. It just doesn't work that way.[/QUOTE]

I don't want convincing, I know I need to stop. I just need encouragement. I'd like to know how it does work, not how it doesn't.

madhatter 10-14-2005 10:23 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
I had a friend who was addicted to pain pills. His everyday life revolved around pills.He couldn't do anything without them.For example- 3 days from now is my mothers suprise bday party,i only have 2 days worth of pills,wait-matt gets his refill in 3 days,kelly gets hers in 1 day,etc.. if my friend didn't have any pills,he couldn't do nothing! He didn't even make it to his friends wedding! Hell,he was even the best man! He used to travel to different e.r's to get them,then he got black listed.When peaple[friends,family] new he was comming over there house,they had to hide there meds.[if they had any] Read some of the threads here,this is no joke! You say you don't want to quit,well,why you here? Thats like a bald man asking for a haircut.

Constant 10-14-2005 10:26 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
Re-read your intial post and then tell me exactly what it is anyone can say to encourage you. Really, what is it we can say that you don't already know?

GinaMia 10-14-2005 10:30 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
[QUOTE=madhatter]You say you don't want to quit,well,why you here? Thats like a bald man asking for a haircut.[/QUOTE]

Because I need to, but can't seem to.


I'm reading a lot here but I was hoping for some advice on how to manage the WD's. It's the sole reason I joined. I didn't join to be asked why I'm here, just because I still crave the drug. Crave, want & need are all the same to me. It's getting through the physical pain of quitting.

Constant 10-14-2005 10:43 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
There are many threads regarding withdrawal.

Have a read. Let us know if we can answer specific questions.

I'm off to bed for the night but will be back tomorrow.

Trying2B 10-15-2005 03:54 AM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
How Much And How Often Do You Take Them? How Long Have You Been Using? These Answers Will Help A Little In Knowing How Bad Your W/d Will Be.

BeginAgain 10-15-2005 04:32 AM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
Gina,
You must get off the fence on one side or the other. You know I was sick of feeling like I needed a pill or a handful of them just to function normally. Most of the time I didn't get that high euphoric feeling of well-being anymore. Also in reality when I look back, I thought I was more fun, was more energetic, was more productive, was happier...it's all an illusion I can assure you. If you aren't there yet you will be. What I really became was moody, sick and obsessive. I isolated, my whole world revolved around getting more pills. If I didn't have them I couldn't function and I felt like crap.
Freedom is much better. Yes it takes some [B]work [/B] to get there. The withdrawls are manageable usually with over the counter drugs and natural supplements. The biggest part is emotional and mental and you won't survive that part unless you have the burning desire to stop and be rid of your addiction. You must be as dedicated to stop and stay off the pills no matter what, as you were to getting more pills. The bottom line is you make a choice...we all have one. I could pick up today if I wanted to, but for what? In a few days I'd be right back where I started or worse. No thanks...for now I choose not to use.
One final piece of advice for reflection...if you think this will get better on it's own, think again. You WILL keep spiraling downward....eventually you must face the addiction head on. I guarantee you, you WILL NOT be able to keep taking the pills forever. At some point your tolerance and need for the drug WILL exceed the supply. Then what? [U][B]What might you loose on the way down? Your self respect, a loved one, your job or career, your family, your money, maybe even your life?[/B][/U] :confused:

JCS 10-15-2005 08:39 AM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
I was hooked on vicodin for a couple of years..........I felt so good all the time I was doing 15 to 20 a day......and I spent so much money

This is how it went for me:

1st ....... I had so much fun with them

2nd.......I had fun with problems

3rd........Nothing but problems

When I could not take it anymore I went to the ER and they took care of me
I have been clean 10 month now and it feels great..........If you want to hear my whole story let me know

GOOD LUCK
JCS

Arememom 10-15-2005 09:56 AM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
Hi GinaMia,

You have taken a good step, by coming to this board. Read, read, read. I am also in a 12 step program and learned this which applies here. Take what you want and leave the rest. Gather all your information and make a plan. Do you want to taper? Do you want to go cold turkey? Do you want to use sub? Tell us what you want. It can change from day to day.

I can tell you from reading/posting on this board for the last 58 days (that's how many days I have been clean :D ) that the physical part is terrible for some. But it only last for a couple of weeks. Compare that to how long you have felt so bad in your addiction. The harder part is once your physically clean, working on the mental part that got us here in the first place. That's the harder part and if you don't work on it, it will pull you back down that road. Hope you have a good day.

Your friend, :angel:
Arememom

We'll be here for you. We'll help you along the way if we can. Remember, we all were exactly where you are today. Some of us were there not too long ago. There are folks detoxing/cold turkey this weekend actually.

bluejulie5 10-15-2005 10:41 AM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
Interesting. I have never had anyone ask ME to list the reasons why
THEY need to stop the pain pills:

Girl, that is something that only YOU know.
We dont know what is in your life, only YOU.

I do know that you will increase your dosage, and spend tons of
money, and lie and steal to get them , however you can, if you
dont just stop now.

We all know how it feels to be an addict. You dear are an addict.

I found a dr. who put me on methadone.
that is how I eventually quit.

GET HELP NOW> GO TO A DR>

oxyslave 10-15-2005 01:58 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
i to am new here. i came here a few days ago to get some advise, and some words of encouragement. a year ago i celebrated 3 years clean from heroin. in that same week, i started abusing oxycontin, and have used everday since. i don't usually post, but i felt the need to reply to you because i have been where you are, twice. right now the pills are still giving you a false sense of security. that is one thing that as addicts, keeps us coming back for more. but please believe that all those good feelings will soon be replaced with feelings that are exactly the opposite. helplessness,hopelessness, pain, fear, and isolation are just a few of the feelings you will have if you do not stop traveling this road of destruction. most often as addicts we have to hit bottom before wanting to get clean. each time we return to active addiction bottom gets lower and lower, and each time it gets harder and harder to get back up. there really is nothing anyone can say to make you stop using. my advice for you though, is to take a good look at yourself, your family, and all things good you have going for yourself. because soon you will no longer know who you are, your family will no longer know you, and all those good things will be gone. it may sound harsh, but you will become just a shell of the person you were before those pills took over your life. all the terrible things you think you will never do for drugs, you will do. i could go on and on........ the bottom line is, it's just not worth it.

oxyslave 10-15-2005 02:40 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
hey girl it's me again. i just wanted to say that maybe you should look into sub or methadone. from my understanding even if you try to use while on either one, you will not get high. also, you will not have to go through the physical pain of wd. just a thought.

GinaMia 10-15-2005 03:29 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
[QUOTE=oxyslave]hey girl it's me again. i just wanted to say that maybe you should look into sub or methadone. from my understanding even if you try to use while on either one, you will not get high. also, you will not have to go through the physical pain of wd. just a thought.[/QUOTE]

What's "sub" and how do I go about getting methadone? I'm afraid to go to a doctor. I woke up at 8:00 AM this morning to take my last tiny supply and I haven't been out of bed until now, it's 3:30 PM! :eek: I feel like a piece of dog doodoo and that's putting it nicely. I appreciate all the kind words and encouragement. The truth is, I'm having to take more and more to get a small high and sometimes I can't get high at all.

BeginAgain 10-15-2005 03:46 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
Sounds like you are near the end, like it or not. Do a search on suboxone to find information. The web site has a doctor location feature. You will have to go to a doctor if you go the suboxone or methadone route. Both have to be tapered when you are ready to stop. Why in the world are you afraid to go to the doctor? Most are understanding and willing to help...what you are going through is not uncommon. You might look for a specialist called an addictionologist...they specialize in helping people get off narcotics and stay off narcotics. They certainly won't look at you like you have an eyeball in your forehead. Some doctors are more helpful and understanding than others, that's why I recommended an addiction specialist rather than your regular family doc. The other option is rehab or cold turkey. If you go cold turkey be armed with over the counter meds to help control the symptoms. There are lots of posts on that subject...do a search if cold turkey is the option you choose.

rmi227 10-15-2005 04:22 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
Gina, first relax you can be helped. I went on a drug called Suboxone. If you switch to this drug you will have just about no withdrwal symptons. Suboxone will make you feel ok, you will not be sick and be able to deal with things. You will not have the euphoria that you have with vicoden but you will also have a clear head. I know vicoden makes you more sociable, confident and so on. My doctor said that there is a subset of the population that feels this way on an opiate. Most people on opiates feel tired and drugged, but it gives us energy and we feel great. We are able to work better and are more confident socially. Eventually this will take it's toll on your mind. I was on Vicoden for 6 straight years, 24/7. It takes it's toll on you. You do feel great on it but it effects your decision making and it will eventually ruin your life. You know you need to stop, so go to a doctor and get help. You can find a good sub doctor at: http://suboxone.com/patients/resources/find_a_doctor.aspx
Best of luck

GinaMia 10-15-2005 05:15 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
[QUOTE=rmi227]Gina, first relax you can be helped. I went on a drug called Suboxone. If you switch to this drug you will have just about no withdrwal symptons. Suboxone will make you feel ok, you will not be sick and be able to deal with things. You will not have the euphoria that you have with vicoden but you will also have a clear head. I know vicoden makes you more sociable, confident and so on. My doctor said that there is a subset of the population that feels this way on an opiate. Most people on opiates feel tired and drugged, but it gives us energy and we feel great. We are able to work better and are more confident socially. Eventually this will take it's toll on your mind. I was on Vicoden for 6 straight years, 24/7. It takes it's toll on you. You do feel great on it but it effects your decision making and it will eventually ruin your life. You know you need to stop, so go to a doctor and get help. You can find a good sub doctor at: http://suboxone.com/patients/resources/find_a_doctor.aspx
Best of luck[/QUOTE]


I'm so sick, I 've been crying non stop. I'm so freakin miserable. What are the odds I get help/meds on a Saturday?

Why do I have to have the "addiction" gene, it's not fair. Why can't I just be a healthy normal human being? Even before Vic, I had severe issues, (depression/anxiety) and I always will. This sucks big time!

Constant 10-15-2005 05:21 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
[QUOTE=GinaMia]I'm so sick, I 've been crying non stop. I'm so freakin miserable. What are the odds I get help/meds on a Saturday?

Why do I have to have the "addiction" gene, it's not fair. Why can't I just be a healthy normal human being? Even before Vic, I had severe issues, (depression/anxiety) and I always will. This sucks big time![/QUOTE]

Why are you feeling sick? Are you running out of your meds or are you just sick and tired of using?

GinaMia 10-15-2005 05:59 PM

Re: I'm new here and I need some help...
 
[QUOTE=Constant]Why are you feeling sick? Are you running out of your meds or are you just sick and tired of using?[/QUOTE]

I'm sick from WD. I couldn't get any pills today. Part of me is sick of needing them also.


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