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  • I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!



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    Old 11-15-2005, 06:13 AM   #16
    Paul2005
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Yesterday was NOT a good day. It all started the night before. All my muscles from head to toe woke me up with that restless, got to get up and move feeling. So I dragged my a** into the hottest shower I could stand at a refreshing 2:45 am. Then it just got worse from there. Never got back to sleep and what made it worse was that I just couldn't seem to take enough Immodium, so basically my day was crap, just like how I felt. Oh well, I guess I'm not going through anything that anyone else in my situation hasn't gone through. But the most important thing is that I DID NOT cheat, I almost did, I thought about it, but I fought it off all day. Tommorow is another day. Hopefully a little better.

     
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    Old 11-15-2005, 06:15 AM   #17
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Hang in there Paul your doing great.Your braver then you give yourself credit for.I'll be pulling for you.Try and have a good day.....Dave

     
    Old 11-15-2005, 10:49 AM   #18
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Hey Paul. Hang tough...you're doing great.

     
    Old 11-15-2005, 01:54 PM   #19
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Hey Paul2005,


    Yeah!! One Day At A Time!!!

    Your right about many having been there and done that. I promise it will get better. You'll have good days and bad days. Did you try any of those OTC meds for sleep? I know even those don't help at times. Is it possible to come home and take a nap (rest at least) for about 30-60 minutes before dinner. Rest is absolutely essential in this process. Know how irritated I get when I'm tired. lol Can't stand myself, much less other folks.

    Keep up the fight and we'll be right here with you.

     
    Old 11-15-2005, 02:26 PM   #20
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Hi Paul. Way to go..you got through a tough time without cheating...do you realize what a victory that was??? Hang in there. This will get better with time. You may not be able to see it but there is a tiny little light at the end of that tunnel and soon it will start getting brighter.

     
    Old 11-15-2005, 07:21 PM   #21
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Congratulations Paul, you realized that you had a choice to make. You were at a fork in the road, and chose the path TOWARD recovery rather than away from it. You are a very strong and brave person. Don't forget that. You can see from the posts here that we believe in you. Keep it up, and use us as often as you need to.
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    Last edited by Mischeif; 11-15-2005 at 07:22 PM.

     
    Old 12-13-2005, 09:39 PM   #22
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    I'm sorry I've been away so long. I have been on an emotional and physical rollercoaster for the last several weeks. And I can tell you one thing for sure, you have to fall before you can pick yourself back up. I am beating my habit. And I am WINNING!!

    I want this post to be an inspiration to all those that are addicted to a chemical substance. I'll freely admit that I have been weak at times during the past few weeks, but you know what, that's O.K. And it's O.K. because I let it be O.K. When I was having severe withdrawls I gave myself permission a few times to take an extra pill. But let me clarify how I did this, because I want this to help someone else.

    My program was to drop a half a pill every week. I also used Wellbutrin and in my case Immodium occasionally and extra strength tylenol. But how I did it was I took a calendar and every Sunday I wrote down what I would take for the week, first week it was 10 then next week it was 9 1/2 then 9 and so on... But I did something a little different. After the first two weeks I did this I started getting apprehensive because I KNEW that I wasn't taking what I usually took and that would lead to me just going weak and giving in. So what I did was in the third week was I wrote three guilt free "take a pill" cards and allowed myself to use them whenever I wanted, and guess what...all of a sudden... the apprehension was gone because I allowed myself three guilt free screw-ups a week. Well just so everyone knows I am down from a 12 pill a day habit to only 1 1/2 a day. That's right, I can take three half's now to get me through the day and I am fine. Anyone can do this if I can. I'm overweight with low self esteem and an addiction and I'm just about to kick an almost 5 year old habit.

    Thanks for all the kind words from everyone on this post that supported me and gave me such great words of encouragement, but I really think that unless I completely fall apart that this will be my last post. At least from the addicts perspective, but I will definately be back on the boards once I am on the recovering end of it. Thanks again everybody.

     
    Old 12-13-2005, 09:45 PM   #23
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Paul - I am SOOO happy for you! Great, great, great, great job!!!! Wow, that was really fast as well. Just amazing. You are truly an inspiration!

     
    Old 12-14-2005, 01:49 AM   #24
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Hey Paul,

    Congratulations and welcome back. Don't stay away too long. We need all the support/help we can get everyday.

     
    Old 12-14-2005, 04:45 PM   #25
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Hello everyone, I'm new here. I'm a alcoholic and I feel like such a loser saying it, but I know that is the only way I will ever get over this sickness. I don't understand why this happened to me, my life was and still is so good.. I don't want people to think I'm saying WHY ME... I just don't understand and I need all the help I can get. I'm looking into AA meetings in Oklahoma, I just feel embaressed. Please talk with me. Thank you..
    Kris

     
    Old 12-15-2005, 10:55 AM   #26
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    I'm so proud of everyone here. I also am struggling with addiction I have been taking hydrocodone 10/500 for about a year now. I take about 5 daily. I too cant wait for my next script cause its gone within 2-3wks. I really want to stop but I'm afraid it has caused problems in my relationship. My boyfriend has chronic pain that he takes hydros for. I feel ashamed that he has to hide his pills so I dont eat them. I'm afraid of the withdrawls I just feel awful about myself and who I have become. Can anyone help me as in what the withdrawls are and how long they last. I guess in the back of my mind I also think I dont have that bad of a problem cause I dont take as much as other people. I want to go back to the way I was and get out of bed cause I want to not cause I'm so excited to take pills. I look forward to anyones respone. Paul dont feel bad I dont know how to IM either..... Looking for help and support. Kim

     
    Old 12-15-2005, 11:09 AM   #27
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Kris,
    Well admitting the problem is half the battle right? I too have gotten caught up in addiction not alcohol but pills. I'm proud of you and beating yourself up isnt going to help. take it one day at a time. I'm here if you need someone to talk to you and we can help each other. Kim

     
    Old 12-20-2005, 09:39 PM   #28
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Kim,
    How tired are you of taking pills? That will have EVERYTHING to do with whether your successful or not. As of today 12/20/05 I am now 6 days pill free! I can tell you first hand about the withdrawls. The first couple of days weren't as bad for me as I thought they would be. I felt real tired and I slept a lot and I took about 3-4 doses of tylenol for the aches and for me Immodium every 8 hours for the first couple of days and as each day has gone by it's all getting better. I still use the tylenol and Immodium, but not as much and I'm not as tired. The biggest change that I could tell from the third day was that my head was clearing from a 4 and a half year haze. I just had no idea how bad it had gotten. For me it wasn't as much as "Can I do it?" as it became "I'm gonna do it!" Kim, I can assure you of a couple of things. You will have good days and some not so good days....but..there is a much better life waiting for you on the other side of dependency. You don't ever have to worry about a drug test, or worry about getting scripts filled, worry about having the money to support your habit, worry about bumming drugs from friends or spouses, worry about somebody finding out, worry about losing your job, worry about your dependency getting worse...etc. I hope your kinda getting the picture because I really hope your ready to quit. Isn't it amazing that one minute our life is fine and the next we find ourselves chemically dependent on some pill or tablet that by itself has changed not only our lives but ourselves. Good Luck Kim, and keep posting. BE STRONG! Take your life back!

    Best regards,
    Paul

     
    Old 12-21-2005, 04:52 AM   #29
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    Paul - you go! I'm on day 6 too. How did the Immodium help for you? I took it once (4 pills) and didn't notice much. Did you take more? Is it helping with the w/d feelings?

    Seriously - well done and great to hear such a resolve to stop this cylce! I too am tired of all the same things.

    Beginning to feel hopeful, which is a VERY GOOD thing!


     
    Old 12-21-2005, 11:11 AM   #30
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    Re: I'm SO TIRED of being addicted!

    ClaraBo,

    Awesome Job! Day 6 Rocked! And Today (Day 7) will even be better! Keep it Up! And that goes for anyone else reading these posts!

    Yeah, the Immodium did and still continues to help me along with the tylenol. But for everyone it's going to be different. I also have IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome) so, naturally the Immodium helps me anyway. but for someone like you might only have to take it a couple of days and then be done with it.

    Clara just think about how much clearer your head is and how much better you are feeling, and that will be all you need to keep your dependency at bay, along with revisiting the boards and continuing to post. There are a whole lot of people we can continue to help get through what we just went through, which was not quite as big a deal, withdrawl wise, than I thought it would be.

    Again, keep it up! And good to hear from you.

    Paul

     
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