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    Old 11-23-2005, 01:27 PM   #1
    Angelrain2
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    Unhappy Hello I am new and I need help for my hubby and myself. Please

    Hi,
    This is a diff. thing for me to do.I don't let anyone know about my problems. My husband is getting off of Methadone. He has been on it for two years and it has been a rough ride. He has hurt me by the lying and alot of hurt things that have been done. I am emotionally rough right now. The only thing keeping me together is my love for him.I don't want to see him hurting or sick anymore. This is thethird day without it. His w/d sypm. are the runs, a slight fever, vomiting, chills and muscles aches and pains. I am keeping him hydrated with ice chips, gateroade and liquids. Soup etc. How long will these syp, last? The phys. ones right now. And what can I do to help him through this. I already tried the weaning or tapering off. Which did nothing but make the addiction worse. He can't get the stuff anymore because the "dealer" has been messed over so the connection is gone. He refuses rehab or anything like that. I have been with him six years and I want my bf back. Please someone help me.
    Thanks
    Angel

    Last edited by Angelrain2; 11-23-2005 at 02:08 PM. Reason: no response

     
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    Old 11-23-2005, 02:50 PM   #2
    tina76
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    Hi there- Sorry, this board seems slow today... must be the holiday. I have heard that methadone w/d can last quite awhile and is one of the worst there is. It can take weeks for the drug to leave your system because it has a very long half life. It sounds like you are doing the right stuff, but I would maybe add some motrin of aleve for the aches and pains. Get him soemthing to help with sleep as well, like benedryl or tylenol pm. You may want to talk to him about going to a methadone clinic and asking for help weaning off. They are very confidential and have helped many people on this board. Best of luck! Keep me posted! - Tina

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 03:08 PM   #3
    Angelrain2
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    Smile Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    thanks for answering. Just got him some tynol ( sorry for sp) and some pm for him to sleep with. I feel like crying because you responded as bad as that sounds lol. It has been hard and this is the first time I have ever talked with anyone about this. I know about the long road ahead. Everything that I have read gives me no hope except a rough one. My family doesn't even know that he is trying to get off. THey lost so much respect for him when they found out a couple of monthes ago when I left him for a while. But I went back to try to taper him off. But last wed. he lied about money and put us in the hole really bad. I looked up clinics and they all cost money. Which we don't have. ANd he used to be a junkie and did the rehab thing when he was younger and he says they don't work. I have never been addicted to anything well except cig. I even quit smoking pot three monthes ago with no effects at all. I just want him better and my family healthy again. I love him so much. But really wanted to say thank you for talking to me. I gives me hope and know someone wants to hear at least cry or vent .

    THANks!!!

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 03:39 PM   #4
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    The other thing to remember is that you cannot MAKE him better. He has to do that. I know it is hard to feel like you are turning your back on someone that you love. But if it gets too hard.... you have to think of YOU first. A lot of clinics will offer payment plans etc... for people having finacial hardships. You might want to call some of them and completely explain the situation. You may be able to get some help. Keep posting! It helps.

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 05:10 PM   #5
    sk777
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    I'm sure you know this already, but opiates cause you to want them more. So imagine for him it's like a screaming child in his head, having a temper tantrum. Then the physical symptoms, too. Withdrawal sucks.

    The craving will lessen over time, I remember this from hydro, but unfortunately I don't know anything about methodone.

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 05:25 PM   #6
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    Rehab can work...but you can't just go to rehab, go home and be cured. There is not a magical bullet...gosh I wish there were. Withdrawl and addiction is hell.

    If you want to get clean and stay that way it's a process that must be worked at for the rest of your life. Think of it like a diabetic. If a diabetic doesn't watch their diet and take their medication their sugar gets out of control. They can have kidney failure, loose limbs, go blind or die. There is no cure - only management of the disease. Addiction is alot like that analogy. You have to feed your recovery, work on it daily, live in the moment, make good choices, educate yourself and arm yourself with the tools to make good choices. It doesn't hurt to become involved in a 12 step fellowship, attend meetings, work steps, read literature and talk to like minded people.

    This is hard to do alone. For either of you. There are support groups for you as well that can help you learn how to make good choices for yourself, understand him and understand yourself.

    Life is what you make it. You can choose to take the tools we are given and work them into your life - or you can try to control it. Control is not usually a good option. Controlling the situation got him where he is today. Until we admit our inability to control our drug use it's an up hill battle. Once we admit that powerlessness...we can start do do something to change our lives for the better.

    I agree with Tina. Methadone has a long half life. It takes alot longer to clean out of your system than other opiates. It sounds like you are doing the right things to help him stay hydrated and as comfortable as possible. It's a hard road. But it can be beat. Keep an open mind to the suggestions you hear here. Maybe what he tired the first time didn't work because his heart wasn't in it. We must reach our bottom, whatever it is..before we can start to change. God bless and good luck.

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 06:18 PM   #7
    Angelrain2
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    Re: angel letting go of feelings

    I wanted to say thanks to the info. It is 8:10 at night here and I am wide awake and he is alseep after two days of being up. I know that I should go to a meeting. I used to when I was younger. I had isses with tripping. But here is my excuse ..... I don't have a babysitter. What a coup out uh? ANd as much as I want to push him into one, he won't go. So this is all I have right now. To be honest with you I am terrified that I am somehow going to lose him. I am probably past being depressed and I feel numb sometimes. And I think I get real angry at the fact that I have cleaned up my life for my families sake while it took rock bottom to clean up his. I don't let him know these feelings because my anger has hurt him already. I know that everyone has a holiday and cooking to do. I am sorry about before and being very impatient. I am just tired of hearing that I have to leave him and that he won't get better. I know that he is trying his hardest. ANd for him to go through wds and try for us means alot to me. I just wish that this had never happened in our life. I just wish that he would be "normal" again in his own way. I am angry, frustrated, sad and feel so loving and sympathetic all in one stream. I just want to take all the pain away for him and make everything okay for him. I love him and I want my husband back. I am so sorry for getting sappy but I have to vent somehow. In some weird way I think this place is doing more for me than him.
    Peace

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 06:37 PM   #8
    sk777
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    Oh boy do I wish a lot of stuff, too. That I could turn back the clock and know what I know now.

    I understand angry, I feel lucky I can see that I'm an addict without any really bad bottom either. My mother has been drinking heavily every night for nearly 20 years. And while that didn't keep me from this, maybe I'm getting clean sooner because of it. And maybe this won't be clean for me. Maybe I haven't hit bottom either. I haven't brought anyone down with me, but I hurt myself and it sounds like for you it was enough to clean up for your family. I think alanon is a really good idea for you, people will totally understand your anger. I remember going to alanon and there were people there who didn't leave their spouses, just absolved themselves of responsibility. No more enabling. They did what they felt was best for them, for their situation. There's really only so much you can do though. That may not be what you want to hear, but I had to want to clean up. I had one person telling me to do it and my logical side telling me to do it, but something else had to click into place, too. I say this, of course I'm not even at 1 week. It feels different this time, more terrifying. I think that's the part that's more serious about this. Knowing that I can't really go back, all the wishing in the world that I do.

    Maybe you and I can both resolve to go to a meeting. I can't seem to do it either, but since I apparently respond really well to peer pressure...

    Do you have someone who can watch your kids? I know that if I could get my bro-in-law back into AA I would provide all the childcare I could muster.

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 08:45 PM   #9
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    You can take children to some meetings. Usually open meetings are okay..but not closed. Our fellowship here is very open about that sort of thing, and kids are welcomed but it pays to check in your area. My son has grown up in NA and I thank God for that actually. He got an education listening to others tell their story. Will it save him? I don't know..maybe something stuck and someday if he ever decides to take this road to hell...he might remember something he heard there and find his way. I can only hope. But I do know I have REAL friends in the program..not sunny day everything is okay friends..real ones that will be there to hold your hand as you walk through the gates of hell. I am not exaggerating. I would not have made it without them. Some of the most wonderful people you'll ever meet.

    If you want what I have...that's where found it. You can get it there too. Give it a chance.

     
    Old 11-23-2005, 11:45 PM   #10
    Arememom
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    Hey Angelrain2,

    We're here for you and your addict. Like so many others have posted it's slow due to holidays, but I want you to know it will get better.

    For his withdrawal symptoms use over the counter meds:

    Aches/Pains - Aleve, Tyelnol or Ibuprophen, hot baths and heating pad
    Diarrhea - Immodium AD
    Nausea - Dramamine
    Sleep - Sounds like you got that one covered, can use Melatonin or Benadryl
    also if needed

    Methadone is tough to detox and takes a while, maybe 7-14 days. But with each passing day it WILL get better. The fact that he is able to sleep tonight is a good sign. When detoxing off Methadone, sleep is a good thing, especially in the first 5 days. Let him sleep when he can. Rest is so important in early recovery. Continue to do the things you have been doing to keep him hydrated and encourage him to eat a few bites when he can (every couple of hours) even if it's just crackers or toast.

    If your husband doesn't think that rehabs work then it may not do him any good to go. If he can detox at home and is willing to try NA that can work without rehab. I am a recovering crack addict and I go to outpatient rehab and Cocaine Anonymous. I can tell you I have learned more in CA about how to live without drugs than in my rehab sessions. I do get something out of rehab. but not as much as CA. There are also programs that cost very little or no money at all. I pay $15.00/week for 2 days of outpatient.

    Do you think he would be willing to come on this board and talk to us? Unless you don't want him to know you're posting here. I would totally understand that and we'll be here to support you and/or him.

    There are online meetings for NA/CA/AA/Alanon. We can't give out specifics for sites but if you do a search you can find them. And as BeginAgain has said there are open meetings where the kids can go too. My daughter is 14 and she attends CA meetings with me and actually likes them. I am fortunate that all the meetings at my CA home group are open. The tools you both will learn will help you on both your roads to recovery. Addiction makes the whole family sick and you both need your own type of recovery.

    I am in disagreement with anyone who tells you he won't get better and that you should leave. But know that an addict must want to get clean for himself. He can't do it for you or your family/children. You may be a motivating factor but not the main reason. Do you think your husband is at that point? Wants to get clean for himself. Do you think he thinks he is at his rock bottom? These are not questions for you to answer to us, but for you to think about. For now don't worry about the family members you spoke of. With clean time and working the program hopefully amends can be made, resentments resolved or letting go will occur. These things may take a long time months and sometimes even a year or two. But you shouldn't focus on that for now and neither should your husband. Getting clean and healthy is the only thing you two should focus on for now. Your husband is so lucky to have a wife who loves him as much as you seem to do. I will keep you and your family in my prayers each morning and each night.

    I wish for you both a Happy Thanksgiving.

    Last edited by Arememom; 11-23-2005 at 11:48 PM.

     
    Old 11-24-2005, 05:26 AM   #11
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    I think you need to insist that you guys get to a meeting, Get him to go to at least one with you and he might like it go together what do you have to loose..... take care!

     
    Old 11-24-2005, 10:20 PM   #12
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    Hi,

    I am on methadone maintenance therapy for my addiction to opiates. What they do at the clinic I go to is wean a person down verrrrry slowly when they decide they want to quit; for example, I'm on 120 mgs. a day, and it would take close to a year to wean me down without being too uncomfortable. When one gets to about 30 mgs. or so, depending on the person, then the clinic puts them on suboxone and they wean down on that for as long as it takes--sometimes a few weeks, sometimes months. Everyone is different, and as far as how long meth's half life is, I have only one example to share and that's a girl I've spoken to there who went cold turkey off her meth for 3 months and at that point and decided she couldn't do it anymore and wanted back on the program, but when they tested her blood levels, she had only "gone down" barely a quarter of her dose, so when they started her back on the meth, they had to start on a very low dose.

    The reason I mention the clinic is that maybe that's an option for your boyfriend? Is there a nearby clinic he could go to and just spill his story and get on some kind of dose that would make his desire to quit more tolerable? From what I've seen and heard, those who quit while in a lot of physical and emotional pain are the ones most likely to relapse...it's that hard and that painful. I would find it impossible for me to quit c/t. I know I couldn't do it.

    One thing is for sure...he should be thankful to have you in his life right now, so on that note, please don't forget that you deserve a break, too. You are doing all you can to be supportive it sounds like, but you are still your own person with your own issues and you can't shelve your life in order to take care of someone else. In group we've talked about codependency, and it usually is most recognizable when one finds themselves feeling responsible "for" someone rather than "to" someone. Just don't forget he's the one in addiction, and you have to be very careful not to get addicted to his addiction...if that makes any sense!

    I hope you are able to get some much needed self-care and nurturing during this, as well as being comfortable with the amount of time and effort you are spending taking care of your boyfriend. Above all, leave any guilt you might experience over leaving him alone for awhile or doing something for yourself that you enjoy outside the door where it belongs, ok?

    Happy Thanksgiving, and take care...both of you,

    DallasAlice

     
    Old 11-24-2005, 11:15 PM   #13
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    could someone tell me what exactly is methodome? Some of my friends think that is what they give people to come down off of crystal meth. I think it is used for heroin, and such drugs to come off of! not crystal, I was just curious. And if someone wanted to come off meth, they say besides being so sleepy that when they stand up, they are dizzy and light-headed? what do they do for that? What do they use in detox for meth? thanks, all info is greatly appreciated, i have two good friends that want to quit, and don't nessecially want to go to rehab, is that possible? in home detox?
    thanks again !!!!!!!!!

     
    Old 11-24-2005, 11:31 PM   #14
    sk777
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    Methadone is for heroin and other opiates, not methamphetamine. Not sure about the meth detox question.

     
    Old 11-25-2005, 09:45 AM   #15
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    Re: new person, need answers to methadone issue

    I don't know if this will help, but I think sometimes the confusion between methadone and methamphetamines (which is a HUGE difference!) is just because of the nickname "meth" being used for both.

    Methadone is a strong drug used to eliminate or reduce the feelings of withdrawal when one is going off of opiates--heroin & pain meds primarily. Yes, "nodding off" is a common symptom when you first start using it, even in small doses. I could fall asleep anywhere, anytime. But it should go away after a person finds their "stable" dose (different for everyone), and if it continues for a long time, it is probably a sign that the dose needs to be adjusted either up or down. Yes, surprisingly I've heard that being on too low a dose can cause drowsiness just as too high a dose can simply because everyone metabolizes it differently. Daytime drowsiness was one of the hardest things for me to deal with.

    I'm not aware of any way to detox at home...in my program, you go to the clinic every day and the nurse watches you take your dose. They give you a dose to take home on the days they are closed--Sundays and holidays. After awhile, if you go to meetings, visit your counselor regularly, and have clean urines, you earn more takehomes--I currently have four, but have seen patients come in for two- to four-weeks' worth of takehomes. From what I've read, that's usually for people who are also chronic pain patients as methadone is a strong pain reliever.

    As for methamphetamines, I don't know much about that except for what I hear. I believe it's also called crystal meth. As I understand it, it's an "upper," where methadone is a "downer." Whether it's the same as crack (or crank?), I don't know, but maybe someone on the board can clarify it and it's "also-known-as" names?!

    Thanks and good luck everyone,
    DallasAlice

     
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