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    Old 01-08-2006, 04:33 PM   #1
    seejay
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    Trying to quit cocaine

    Hello! I am a 35-yr old female trying to stop using cocaine after consistent use for over 11 years. In the past few months, I have been doing it daily. Not in large amounts - but I dip into my bag for a little nail full - I do this ALL day!!

    When I am getting low, I get real nervous and make my call to restock. I am just about out and would llike to learn how to NOT make the next call.

    Is there anyone out there that can lend me a hand (via this board

     
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    Old 01-08-2006, 06:28 PM   #2
    flintrock
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    First decide to quit...then do it.....you will for sure need help. Sounds like after all these years you need rehab....get in and start now...........

     
    Old 01-09-2006, 08:37 AM   #3
    halo1
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    do you really want to quit? i mean really bad? that's the first step. trust me, you'll never make it if you're not ready. i was completely disgusted with myself and so tired of hiding my addiction. i lost my friends, my job and, almost lost my husband because i rarely left the house. i didn't want to leave my "friend" behind, and of course i became paranoid to go out anyway. so you must want to quit more than you've ever wanted anything else. then, you must distance yourself from your dealer and all those you associate cocaine with. finally, get help. get in a program, go to na meetings, whatever it takes. i was lucky enough to have this board and my husband. i've been clean over 4 months now and living life again.
    you can do it. just get some help. good luck.

     
    Old 01-09-2006, 10:13 AM   #4
    seejay
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Halo1 - 1st off - Congratulations on 4 months!!!!!!

    Well - I wish I could say I was absolutely ready. But unfortunately, I haven't hit "the low point" yet. I live like all my friends do, job, go out, bars, dinner, etc. It doesn't affect my appetite, so no signs of my use there (by the way - I have managed to keep this habit a secret from all). I work out regularly, and make work on time. I don't stay up all night doing it - unless I go out drinking, then I will stay up till about 2am.

    BUT....it is affecting my wallet. I have more expenses now (still single at 35 - but have 6 nephews who demand lots of gifts :-) Anyway, I am now struggling with cash and this is due to my $200 + week habit. (I know - could be MUCH worse).

    So, I guess what I am looking for is the support from others to make this leap. I want to do it...but have no friends that know about this habit to help me through it.

    How did you finally quit???

     
    Old 01-09-2006, 10:48 AM   #5
    Proward
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Cocain is one of the most mentally addictive elicit narcotics out there. I don't believe that there is a drug that is harder to get off of mentally than cocain. The physical effects of withdrawl are very short and very mild compared to opiate withdrawls but over time, the mental aspect is much worse for a cocain addict than an opiate addict. A cocain addict in recovery can expect to go through sever mental cravingd for cocain at a couple weeks clean, 1 month clean, 3 months clean, 6 months clean, 9 months clean. Every few months, you can expect severe mental cravings for the drug.

    I have had a 15+ year recreational cocain habit. I have had a 2 1/2 year opiate addiction and a 20-year alcohol problem. I am 36 years old.

    I am 1 week into recovery from opiates, cocain and alcohol.

    Phil

     
    Old 01-09-2006, 11:03 AM   #6
    seejay
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Phil: Good luck!!! So tell...how did you quit? Cold turkey, weaning off, etc??? I am in the "mentally preparing" stage I guess. Trying to find the best way to do this. I went off for a week here & there before (mostly because my "guy" was out of town!!!!)

    Anyway...did some today (or would have the massive headache!) But I am about out so trying to get the COURAGE to quit.

    So I welcome any advice that's out there!!!

     
    Old 01-09-2006, 11:19 AM   #7
    Proward
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    I did a fast wean using methadose. I had a heavy 2 months of sniffing oxys between Thanksgiving and the New Year. Last Monday, on 1/2, I sniffed my last 40mg oxy at around 11:00am and then I swaloed a 10mg methadose tablet around 6:00pm that evening. It made me sick (you should never mix the two), so, I went to bed.

    I went to work on Tuesday and took 10mg of Methadose, took 5mg of methadose last Wednesday, 2.5mg of methadose on Thursday and my last 2.5mg of methadose on Friday morning at 7:00am once I got to work. I have had nothing since then and no real physical symptoms to speak of.

    You can read my earlier post from today to read about how it has been going for me. Last night was the worse night so far and I'm not sure why because it has been almost 80 hours (3 1/2 days) since I have taken anything at all. I know that methadose stays in your system for a long time but I am hoping that I am past the physical stuff.

    I have had a few incidents of diahreah today but that is normal. But, all in all, I feel pretty good.

    Phil

     
    Old 01-09-2006, 01:07 PM   #8
    seejay
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Hi Phil: Well I went back & looked at your old posts. Dying to know if your wife ever found out or are you still able to hide it?

    I am going to do this on my own as no one knows of this addiciton (seems like the way you did it last year). I am scared! Tomorrow will be day 1 for me. Wish me luck!

    PLEASE - let me know how meeting goes on Wed. I may consider trying it.

     
    Old 01-10-2006, 06:50 AM   #9
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Halo - CONGRATS!! Hang in there!

    And the comment about periodic sever mental cravings is correct. I'm a year clean and still have them from time to time.

    It's been my experience that you can't wean off cocaine. Not saying its that way for everyone, but I couldn't.

    Also, you have to make up your mind to quit. Low-point? In my case, yes, but like I said, I'm not you and am not going to tell you what you are and aren't capable of.

    Good Luck!

     
    Old 01-10-2006, 07:37 AM   #10
    Proward
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    "Seejay - Dying to know if your wife ever found out or are you still able to hide it?"

    No, she doesn't know. As a drug addict, I did everything to conceal it from her. Money is a big issue for us, trying to make ends meet, paying the bills, saving for our kid's college and retirement, etc. I found some very ingenious ways to hide, move, shuffle, lie, cheat, steal, beg and coerce to get what I needed.

    I have a very close friend who is trying to kick a cocain problem that I confide in. We are trying to get clean together. Me for opiates and him for cocain. So, we go to meetings together. My brother's also know and I opened up to my Mom about my problem.

    Now that I am clean and plan on staying that way, I can use that energy and time that I used to use chasing those pills to get back to where we want and need to be financially. We are close. A few months and I'll be OK.

    Over the course of 3 years, I have crushed and sniffed oxys everywhere. From airplane bathrooms to car dash boards to the back or bar toilets and toilet paper holders. In closets and in resteraunts. In relatives homes and garages. In waterfowl Blinds and in church bathrooms!! At birthdays and on Holidays and special family events. Everywhere.

    I look at family portraits that my wife, son and I have had taken over the past 3 years and I look at myself and it makes me very angry at myself because I know I am looking at someone who is high on oxys. I can remember when the portraits were taken and how I had gotten high before going to have them done.

    The shame can really get you down but then I say, "I lived through it, I have done it now learn from it and move on. Let those feelings of shame make me a better person." What doesn't kill me only serves to make me stronger. That is the God's honest truth.

     
    Old 01-10-2006, 12:10 PM   #11
    seejay
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Yeah - I have sniffed cocaine in some of the same spots as you! So - I tried weening down yesterday. My head was KILLING me by bedtime & my nose felt awful. Did you have the same reaction? And how long will I have to put up with that. I had big meeting today (4 hours) so sniffing like normal to get through it. Since I used much smaller amounts yesterday, I had enough. Now, I am at the point that either I stop & get more after work - OR I don't & try the cold turkey.

    1st let me know about this headache thing. Wondering if I should wait for weekend as I couldn't work with a headache like last night!!!!!
    THanks for your replies!!

    And again - good for you! Maybe I can look to you as MY motivator!!

     
    Old 01-10-2006, 04:03 PM   #12
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    hey seejay, you can do this. you should take a few days off work. i couldn't have done it without time off. if possible, one week. confide in someone close to you and have them stay with you. and, keep posting on this board. i had my laptop with me constantly and pleaded for help during the w/d. i had so much support from this board that i cried everytime i read a reply on my thread. these people became my temp family and now, everytime i see one of their posts helping others i feel like i've seen a friend.
    anyway, you need to do this cold turkey. if you want this, we'll be here for you every step of the way. just reach out.

     
    Old 01-10-2006, 10:03 PM   #13
    seejay
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Oh Halo... I am in tears as I write this. I am so glad to have a response. I spend lots of time reading others and I don't know how to jump in. I will definitely look at your background so I don't ask you the what you have already posted. Again- Your response is what i hope to get out of this. I have done coke alone...now I have to quit alone. One secret after another. BUT - thanks.,...your reply tonight has motivated me -

     
    Old 01-11-2006, 11:14 PM   #14
    halo1
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    Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    seejay, you don't have to quit alone. we're here for you, whenever you need us. just keep posting and let it all out. just say what you feel. eventually you'll be ready to quit this addiction that's taken over your life, and when you do you'll be so happy to have control again. for me it was so scarry because i couldn't even remember who i was without drugs. i remember saying that so often to myself. don't let this thing get the best of you. you've already taken the first step, wanting to quit. now. take a deep breath and fight for your life. you can do it.

     
    Old 01-12-2006, 05:18 PM   #15
    Patty3303
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    Smile Re: Trying to quit cocaine

    Please hang in there........did you ever read "A Million little pieces" ? It is about an addict that recovered, but tells you everything he has gone through. It's a good book..... Please try your hardest. I am losing my brother to crack and he was like God to me..............Go to meetings, I know alot of people that go to AA for things and they are coming through fine. It is tough and it is going to be. I dont know how old you are, but my brother has really aged over the years and is 50. He was really, really handsome and the drugs got the best of him. I am sure there are people out there that love you very much........Find a hobbie to keep you busy.... You have to keep busy.........Good Luck............

     
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