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    Old 02-02-2006, 12:02 PM   #1
    ms.christy
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    25yr old addicted to opiates

    My name is Christy, I am 5'5, 130 lbs, 25yrs old and addicted to opiate narcotics. I have come along way but I am still not where I want to be. I had a habit of anywhere from 800mg to 1000mg a day habit. I would use any or all of the following to reach this dosage: oxycontin, Endocet, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone. I know now that I am fortunate to not have died from the amount of acetaminophen alone that some of these pills contianed. I've never met anyone who has taken the dosages that I have...and lived. The very errie thing is that I was PRESCRIBED these medications. I never once bought a pill illegally nor did I "doctor Shop". I put complete trust in my doctor and was let down mesirably. Now, 2 months "free" from my doc, my mind is not free, I am not free. Now I find myself "doctor shopping" to get high, or stealing pills from family members. This is not who I am. I justify myself now by saying "I only do 200mg a day, every once in a while, that's better than 800mg-1000mg, right?"
    WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I feel it coming back like a slow, evil disease.
    I never want to experience what I felt coming off pills (such a high dosage) again. I was alone, I was in a bath tub for 3 days - LITERALLY. I felt like my skin was going to come off (probably because I scratched and rubbed it raw).
    I lost 17lbs in 5 days. I could not sleep, I could not eat, I could not function.

    YOU WOULD THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE ENOUGH, RIGHT?
    wrong. I still crave it, I'm not strong, I need help.

     
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    Old 02-02-2006, 12:11 PM   #2
    barbaric_yawp
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    I kicked this physically 37 days ago, but battle w/my mind EVERYday! That is the hard part. Are you still taking them? If so, have you considerd a tapering program (see my earlier thread titled "suggestions on a tapering program")?

    Nothing but guilt with this crap. To appease your mind keep VERY busy, baths are good, also try reading, excersise, baking stuff, hobbies, etc...I write allot which has helped me take my frustrations out on paper rather than hitting the oxy's.

    Welcome to the boards, keep in touch-- I would LOVE to help you overcome this terrible addiction, as would so many other members.

    Carpe Diem,

    B.Y.

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 12:21 PM   #3
    tina76
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    ms. christy - With that high of a dosage have you thought at all about trying a methadone clinic? I know that I've had a hard enough time getting off 80mg a day let alone 1000mg! You may need some extra help in that department. I know that some of the people on this board have found success in methadone treatment programs. Is that something you've thought about?

    Tina

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 12:36 PM   #4
    ms.christy
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    tina76 - I am mother of 4. The only one who knows of my addiction is my husband and 2 other friends...and now this board. I'm not so sure a methadone clinic would be the right thing for my family, as my husband is also a professional. Thank you for the suggestion.

    Last edited by ms.christy; 02-07-2006 at 05:17 PM.

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 12:39 PM   #5
    ms.christy
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    Thank you for the encouragement... one day at a time..... today is my second day without any opiates...its hard...I cry alot...I hurt and I feel sick....I want it to be over with...I'm glad I found this board....lots of strong people...Thank you

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 12:47 PM   #6
    barbaric_yawp
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    Did you check out the "tapering regimine" thread? Putting a plan in effect will not only help you recover mentally, but keep you busy while you work toward your goal.

    BY

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 01:34 PM   #7
    tina76
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    If you can't do a methadone treatment then I would definitely recommend tapering off of the medication. AT that high of a dose I don't know how you would be able to go cold turkey and still be albe to work and take care of your children. You are going to be sick. I would definitely taper down slowly instead. Give your body time to adjust.

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 01:38 PM   #8
    slipperyslope
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    Have you looked into Suboxone, do a search on the internet and you might be a good canidate for this. It allows you to get of narcotics with No side effects while you get through your addiction issue's.. people have done very well on it.

    you can also go to the suboxone web site and put in your city and find some Dr's in your area that will prescribe it for you.

    so if you were taking 800 mgs a day does that mean you took over a hundred pills a day? or am I doing the math wrong here.

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 01:54 PM   #9
    lisaaahubb
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    WOW Christy, my heart goes out to you. You have found a good place, here. Is there any way you can taper down a bit more? 200mg is alot to come off of....then again 1000mg...is UNHEARD of.....
    You are here for a reason, girl...no doubt about it. You are lucky to be alive.
    Stick around and read some posts.....
    So you are on day 2....how's it going? I feel for you, hang in there....
    lots of luv,
    LISA

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 02:01 PM   #10
    mpvt
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    Well ms christy you and I would make a good pair.I was using 3,000mg of morphine a day before I started on methadone.Your definately going to have to go on either buprenorphene or methadone if you want to get your life back in order.From my experience I would say that the buprenorphene isn't strong enough for your addiction so methadone would better suit you.Look around the methadone clinics and make sure they don't have dose caps as you will likely need a larger than average dose.Or if you can find a pain doctor that will order you methadone that would be great.Once you stabilize on methadone you can then think about weaning down and getting off of it or you can stay on it and live a relatively normal life it's really up to you.Good luck and let us know how your doing.....Dave

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 03:15 PM   #11
    ms.christy
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    slipperyslope - I usually was prescribed 80mg oxycontin 2x a day and something for breakthrough pain (oxycodone, Endocet, hydrocodone, etc). So until I ran out of oxycotin for the month, I would crush up 2 - 80mg oxycontin and 4 -10mg tablets of the above for breakthrough pain....I did this 4-5 times a day until my "months worth" of prescription ran out. Then, all I had to do was call the doctor for more "breakthrough" pain medication (in some cases she would even give me more oxycontin, but only 40mg tablets) until my next appointment. It was nothing for me to go through a bottle of 100 "breakthrough" 10mg pills in a day. So, no, I am ashamed to say that your math is not wrong.

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 03:21 PM   #12
    ms.christy
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    lisaaahubb - Thank you for the encouragement. Tapering down is not an option unless I see another DOCTOR. I am obtaining the medicine in an illegal and shameful way.
    slipperyslope - I did find the site you mentioned for doctor's who prescribe suboxone. MY husband and I are seriously considering this option. Thank you so much.

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 05:38 PM   #13
    slipperyslope
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    Hi Christy I have never taken Oxycontin so I didn't remember that it comes in higher milligrams than hydro. I think Suboxone would be very beneficial for you to look into and if you choose that route I hope it works out for you it helps many people, if I were in your shoes I would seriously consider it. I am worried about you over dosing and the damage to your liver... take care!

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 05:40 PM   #14
    slipperyslope
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    Christy I forgot to ask you about your chronic pain condition. Will you be able to handle the pain without the meds? I have heard Sub also helps with pain.

    good luck to you, you must be feeling so awful coming off that high of a dose. are you doin Cold turkey right now or are you tapering?

     
    Old 02-02-2006, 11:04 PM   #15
    bdean
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    Re: 25yr old addicted to opiates

    Ms.Kristy,
    I want to begin by saying that I understand 100% where you are coming from.When we hit rock bottom in our addiction its seems like it is impossible to crawl our way back out again.I understand that you feel helpless,lost and even scared.And thats okay.Anyone that has suffered through addiction understands and has been exactly where you are.I was pretty close to where you are in your addiction as far as amounts I was taking.I too had a doctor that was steadily feeding me pain pills left and right.There were months were it was nothing for him to write me 400+hydrocodone 10/500mg and 100+percocet 10mgs.Which I would have gone in a few days time.Even when I knew it was out of hand I tried everything to stop.I tried cold turkey,an at home taper even inpatient detox and rehab.None of that worked.It was only a matter of days or in the case of the rehab hours before I started back up again.I just couldnt handle the withdrawals and the mental and physical cravings that came after.I too had major chronic pain issues that I think made the withdrawals seem worse(though I maybe wrong).I finally came to terms that many years of steady opiate ingestion and then heavy opiate ingestion for more years had left my brains opiate receptors and "endorphin makers" scared and battered.I just couldnt function without something filling up those empty holes in my opiate receptors..Then I had a friend tell me about Methadone and OMG it has saved my life.At first I was like you and thought they it wouldnt be for me because I too am a professional as is my husband.I thought that MMT clinics were only for homeless and god forgive me for thinking this way"dirty" junkies.Then I meet this girl whom worked as a teacher just like you and she looked and was doing great!!When I got to the clinic I realized my mistake in my thinking.Just about everyone there were just like me.Most were even working proffesionals.I would see and still do nurses with their bright white uniforms,men in bussiness suits and others that you could tell by there clothes were teachers,secretaries,etc..They would go in down their dose,pick up any take homes they have and be out the door before they knew it.Another thing is that most clinics start dosing at 5-530am which is when most of the people who work jobs such as yours and dont wanna be seen there go to the clinic...The reason I am telling you this about the MMT is because I agree 110% with MPVT in that I just dont think the bupe is gonna be enough for someone with the history and amounts of drugs you have comsumed on a daily basis.I mean you could give the bupe a try but I think it will be alot of money out of your pocket for nothing..I am praying for you and hoping that you make whatever decision that is right for you and that it works....If you have any questions about MMT just ask here in this thread and I will answer what I can and so will MPVT(he knows alot about it too)
    Well good luck and god bless,
    Bdean

     
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