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    Old 06-06-2006, 01:09 PM   #31
    Strongwilled
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Elvis1 1209:

    Hi. I just wanted to take a moment to tell you that I'm sorry, I responded to your post this morning and I know as you read it you are going to think that I didn't answer your question about the suboxone interaction w/benzo's..... that seemed to be the whole point behind your post but you also had a lot of interesting information in there it appeared you were wanting to share with us, that is what I was responding to. I noticed that you and I have so many things in common in this aspect also (from the phone issue to the prescription issue).... it would be really nice to communicate more if your up for it. If not, I will surely understand, I do want to ask you...just out of curiousity...how long exactly have you been taking these? I was on the 10/325's for roughly 5 years. (That's a long time) :-(

     
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    Old 06-06-2006, 02:28 PM   #32
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Strongwilled,

    Congratulations on your days clean!!! YAY! Thank you for your support. No i have not told him, but plan to tonight and am so NERVOUS about coming clean about my addiction.

    I'll post the details tomorrow.

     
    Old 06-07-2006, 08:50 AM   #33
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    THANK YOU! I really appreciate that, it's SOOO hard sometimes but if I've come this far. I didn't get my cake and party hat last night, instead I went to IHOP and got a big stack of pancakes and smothered them in Butter Pecan syrup :-) I think the pancakes are still sitting at the bottom of my tummy, don't know if that's good or bad :-)

    Good luck this evening, I'll be looking forward to hearing from you. Hugs.

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 04:56 AM   #34
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Good Morning Everyone -i have made it 8 days hydro free and am still in the opiate mailaise - no energy, tired, and workin a whole days is very tiring. I am exercising 30 mins per day which helps my energy level and am still on the VERY high vitamin and mineral supplements mentioned in the JAM338 message at the top of this page.

    I did tell my partner of almost 10 years about this addiction and am so happy that i did so. he was incredibly supportive and made me feel great. Plus, it is another person share how I am feeling and why i seem so tired these days.

    Again, these boards have been a lifesaver and i must thank you both, Strongwilled and Kim, for your support. I laugh thinking of you celebrating your clean time with IHOP pancakes. I love IHOP too. i went to Baylor U. in Waco and lived in TX for 10 years and loved going to the local Waco IHOP with my college buddies aftern nights out on the town - YES - WACO did have a nightlife even though it is a small town.

    I am smiling for real now!

     
    Old 06-08-2006, 06:51 AM   #35
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Hey Good Morning! I'm so happy for you, not only on your days clean but mostly because you worked up the courage to come forward and be honest with him. I knew he would be supportive, especially by the way you described your relationship. This will make things a little lighter on you. It will be difficult.... for a while....the excercise and vitamins are a great substitute...keep up the good work. I'm on day...25 is it? Hmm....anywho, I still have some trouble getting motivated and am a little tired... I used to work out religiously, 5 days a week. In my last car accident, my hand got severely burnt by the air bag (I was sitting still at a traffic light and a young man was trying to beat the yellow from the opposite direction, he plowed right in to me). My hand was in so much pain and the scar is awful. It put me out of the work out mood for a few months and it was so hard to get back in to the gym...then I got too wrapped up in the "staying home at night" thing and just never went back. I think I need to start going back now. It's motivational to know it helps you. I am very impressed because I didn't have the energy to do anything my first 15 days and even now it will be difficult. You will be my inspiration...you and IHOP pancakes w/butter pecan syrup (how's that for a work-out contradiction)??? :-) Keep in touch with me, okay? I would really like that...we BOTH have a long way to go and I know having his support now will help you but I think that it's only us who have physcially been through this that can truly help each other ;-) Hugs.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 11:30 AM   #36
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Strongwilled and all,

    Day 10 clean and still feeling very low. i actuallycome home early from work and cried! What is that about? You are right, Depression, if a w/d side effect that occurs are the physcial w/d are past. That and very low energy. i keep reading here that Kim syas to keep herself "busy" and it is all i can do when I come home from work to turn on the tv and watch something and rest. Then I must motivate myself to get up for dinner. I still have very littly appetite and force myself to eat healthy and am supplementing my weak appetite with protien bars and milkshakes.

    God this sucks! Signing off very depressed!

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 12:28 PM   #37
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    My2kn - IT WILL GET BETTER WITH EVERY PASSING DAY, that is all I can tell you. On my Day 10, I felt the same way. I was overly emotional, no energy....had to literally pick myself up off the couch just to go to the restroom. Everything was so much harder. As painful and uncomfortable as the physical withdrawals are, I really feel and felt the emotional withdrawals a lot more. That is why I mentioned to you that as far into my sobriety as I am... 26 days now.... the true test of will for a true addict would be if somebody offered me even 1/2 a pill...would I take it??? (thinking "25 days! I've been really good, this won't hurt anything)".

    Also, at 25 days...I'm still not 100%. Every day got and is getting better and better and yes, "trying" to stay busy is helpful but it's getting the motivation to even try and keep busy that is really difficult also. All's I can tell you (truthfully, instead of "just try and stay busy"...) is that TIME is the ONLY factor that will rid you of every agonizing feeling you have right now. I don't feel 100% right now even 25 days in...but...I feel a heck of a lot better than I did on day 5 and on Day 10 I felt better than I did on day 5...Day 15 felt better than day 10 and day 20 was much better.....it will get better, I promise you. Try and think of some really good memories you have, try and think of something that made you laugh so hard you nearly fell on the floor. Even if you don't laugh now like you did then....you might get a little chuckle out of it and every tiny laugh or smile is one step closer to feeling better :-) I hope you feel better soon, I truly do. If you need a funny story, I have some...just post me and I'll get back with you as soon as I can. I wish I could give you a phone number :-)...... we could talk to each other during times like this :-) HERE'S A BIG HUG FOR YOU.

    Last edited by Strongwilled; 06-09-2006 at 12:29 PM.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 01:09 PM   #38
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Your both doing great and strongwilled that whole 25 day thing and not being able to say no, I know your only speculating thats were alot of use fall down. I too thought what the hell one wont hurt but that one led to alot more craving and one more pill like your body is still chasing that high even after almost 6wks clean. I could have very easily fallen right back to where I was to begin with. Luckily I caught myself and realized I have NO CONTROL at all over those tiny little pills they are so much stronger than I will ever be. My2kn thats great about telling your sig. other and so happy he is supporting you that makes it so much easier. What I mean is by staying bz is keeping your mind bz so your not thinking about how bad you feel. I read a book that was over 600pgs and while I was reading I was so into the book that I never even thought about my pain, how tired I was, about my w/d's cause I was focused on something else. Even watching tv my mind would wonder back to either taking pills or how chitty I was feeling if that makes any sense at all. Thats what I mean not go run laps around town. I just found it helped me so much and it was like before I knew it I was feeling better and the book was done. I did force myself to get up and do things and I just found that I was only focusing on feeling the way I did. I went to the track and watched the horses race and just some other little stuff. My fiance would ask me to do something with him and my whole body just wanted to lay there NO ENERGY absolutly NONE and he would say it might make you feel a little better so I would go and do things with him and it did make me feel a little better. Thats all I meant. I know you dont feel like doing a damn thing as I didnt either. It would take all I had somedays just to get dressed infact the first 2 days I didnt I just read my book and layed around. Everyone is different like my real bad w/d's for me it felt like they started on days 3-5 so when others were starting to feel better I was feeling worse. But we are all focused on one thing which is why this board is so great all strangers, all with the same goal. I wish you continued success. Pick up a magazine or a book or even cross word puzzles. I would also sit at this board and read old threads which also made time go by and kept me thinking about something else. Good luck your both so great and are inspirations to others who are surely lurking around wondering how to stop and they will get strength from you and other as I did. Kim

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 01:21 PM   #39
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Hi Kim,

    Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I wish I could have found the "want" and energy to read a book during the first 10 days of my withdrawals...I just couldn't do it so I commend you highly on that. (Sounds silly doesn't it? Commending someone on simply being able to read a book)??? We are so silly in our addictions sometimes. Yes, I was speculating. I don't have access to any nor am I trying to gain access. I was just thinking (since I hit day 22).... and knowing I'm starting to feel better. "Would I or wouldn't I"? I can say that I might, if offered, but for all the wrong reasons... 22 or even 25 days (today) into my sobriety I'm still weak regarding the mental "saying no"...but I would also think it many times over knowing I made it this far and would probably hate myself if I caved. I was only saying that would be the true test of an addict.

    You were certainly right when you said everyone's different. Like My2kn, he excercised even for 30 minutes his first few days...there was NO WAY I could have done that! Even now into day 25 I still contemplate getting up to do that instead of just doing it. My ways of dealing with it are a bit different also. You were also right in the sense of suggesting to go back and read the posts. I DID THAT! All first 17 days I did that, when I would get low or unmotivated, I would go back and read everyone's posts... kind of helps. I really think we need each other. I've said it a couple of times...family and friends are fantastic and to have their support is the best in the world...but you can't truly know how it feels unless it happens to you so to lean on each other (as we are trying to) I think is the most important thing for me to know I have the option of at this time. You all take care and I'll be back soon :-)

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 02:56 PM   #40
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Strongwilled - Thank you so much for your BIG HUG! Also, congratulations on reaching DAY 25!! I really needed it immensely. Kim - thank you for the further explaination of staying "busy". I figured you did not mean physically busy and will make a better effort to read which i love to do. i am not a crossword puzzle person and you are right. When watching TV during commerical breaks you mind goes back to how horrible you feel and I, expecially, beat my self up for allowing a PILL to control my moods and life.

    I feel so much better this afternoon after watching some tv and then forcing myself to do 30 mins of exercise. it was VERY hard to do today - more so than other days. I usually do not look at the clock until about 25 mins into exercising and kept checking the time after about 6 mins - so sad!

    I used to be a happy person and enjoyed life - especially after dealing with the fact that I am attracted to men and am now very comfortable with that. I recall how I felt before I accepted that fact and it is identical to now - VERY Depressed and low on energy. I feel that the lack of energy that time was depression and fear of the unknown - telling parents, friends, etc. I do desire my "happy personality" back!

    I do feel that my lack of energy is another w/d and the depression too. I truly appreciate Strongwilled detailing her experience of her energy level throughout your sobriety and I will not tell myself that each day should be better and that possibly next week at this time I will feel 25% better than I do today.

    I do have something to look forward to this weekend and that is an old Baylor college friend from LA is flying in this evening and we will spend the weekend together before he goes to NYC for business next week. That was great that he thought to do a "through" routing via Washington to see me before the meetings. I've told him about my addiction as he went into rehab for 6 weeks last fall for a very serious cocaine and crytal meth substance abuse problem and he was VERY understanding. He will understand why I will have a low energy level and may not be able to run all over Washington, DC like we have in the past. Going out at night will not happen because the rehab recommended him to quit drinking (He was never a big drinker) and bars and nightlife are "triggers" for him to want to use his drugs of choice.

    This is a very long post, but theraputic, and I have to say that I still do not have a craving to use yet, either. I just am impatient and want to feel like I did before I was prescribed pain killers. One lucky thing for me during this w/d is that i have not experienced any acute pain so far. I feel that those on here who have daily pain and choose to get off opitates are so much stronger than I.

    have a clean and good weekend everyone.

     
    Old 06-09-2006, 04:19 PM   #41
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    My2kn.....congratulations on getting to day 10....that's awesome! I don't think I've read your posts before, but so much of what you feel sounds so familiar.....the depression and lack of energy.... wondering 'did I ever actually have a personality'?? It sounds like you're doing great....hang in there!
    Christy

     
    Old 06-12-2006, 09:32 AM   #42
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    Re: Message for My2kn

    My2kn: Good Morning! How are you feeling today? Did the visit with your Baylor friend go well this weekend? I just wanted to give you a hello and find out how you are and how your weekend went. I look forward to hearing from you when you are up for it. Hugs, Strongwilled.

    Last edited by Strongwilled; 06-12-2006 at 09:33 AM.

     
    Old 06-12-2006, 11:21 AM   #43
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Good Afternoon everyone,

    I had a great weekend with my college buddy and as he has been in rehab for cocaine and crystal meth so he was a great source of support and confidence. i showed him this message board and thinks it is a great way to reach out and get instant support when a craving to use hits. Like Kim said read other people's stories and steel your resolve to not use. Like an instant NA meeting.

    My energy level is still low, but what a difference a week makes! I am not as depressed in the afternoons as last week just tired. I must tell all lurkers that the key to giving yourself energy and raise your spirits, when you are able, is to exercise. I feel so much better a few hours after exercising and I do not have a HARD workout, pleasse - me on the treadmill watching TV (Lifetime movie!!!!) and getting my heart rate up. it really helps.

     
    Old 06-12-2006, 11:56 AM   #44
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    ;-)

    Okay that's it, I'm substituting my evening trip to IHOP for a trip to my local gym instead tonight :-) Talk to you soon My2kn. You are a dear..... I'm really, really, really proud of you in case I haven't told you lately :-)

     
    Old 06-14-2006, 06:20 AM   #45
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    Re: Hydrocodone withdrawls & need advice

    Strongwilled - thanks for your continuing support. Each day is getting better and last night I made copies of all my w/d posts and printed them out so that I will remember how HORRIBLE the physical w/d were along with the mental w/d - lack of energy, MAJOR depression.

    So how are you doing with any craving issues? I still have not had a craving to take more than necessary to reach a "high". I did take one last Sunday night - the ones my DR prescribed to reduce my pain after a flair up so that I could sleep and I felt fine the next day.

    I never want to experience the physcial w/d again and this low feeling and lack of energy is annoying and I hope that by July 1 - one month off hydro - i will feel better.

    have a great day!

     
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