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  • Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...



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    Old 08-19-2006, 02:31 PM   #46
    wasitme25
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    Re: Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...

    Hey I just wanted to add to this I've seen some of your other posts and I just recently added one of my own I'm new to this it's on page one if you want to read it. I want to tell you I'm going through the exact same things you are. Well I'm not anymore I broke up with him but I still worry about him every day. He had the same symptoms the mood swings, the drinking. He stole from me one day he loved me the next day he didn't want to be with me I finally had enough but I still keep in contact cause I'm worried he doesn't think he has addiction or there is a problem and I just can't give up on him. I think your very brave and strong. If you have any advice for me or can share your experince because I always though it was my fault I never understood it was the drugs maybe I still don't.

     
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    Old 08-19-2006, 06:16 PM   #47
    Laboon
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    Re: Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...

    OMG!! I just skimmed through this thread and I have to say "SNAP out of it!"
    It is like pouring sand down a rat hole...what you need is cognitive therapy.
    You said "i don't think i will ever ever understand what addiction like that can do to someone" but you should. Because he is your cocaine.
    Take care and please- move on.

     
    Old 08-19-2006, 06:45 PM   #48
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    Re: Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...

    Hun, take some advise from a ex-coke addict. I have been in the position where I had told people i loved them and than taken from them. When you are addicted to something that deathly and controlling you only care about your next bump. Maybe if he cleaned his act up and went to rehab and spent a few years clean he COULD be worhty of your trust again but i won't hold your breathe. I understand that concern you have and the need to take care of him but until he had cope with his own addiction and love himself there is no way he can truely love you. It sucks but you need to take care of yourself. You are worth more than that. It is going to hurt and be very painful to let go but once you do you will feel free. Trust me....I have been on both sides. It will all work out....but you have to let go. Go luck hun!

     
    Old 08-19-2006, 06:58 PM   #49
    Laboon
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    Smile Re: Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...

    Sorry if that sounded harsh- but it just seems so ridiculous. Here is this really messed up (god love him) guy, running around acting like an idiot with his mind on one thing-coke. And here you are doing the same- except all you can think about is him (but you're not an idiot). I just get this visual of you and all of these wonderful people who've replied wringing your hands and sweating it out and he is just OBLIVIOUS . And I'm not sure why I feel so strongly about this but YOU NEED TO STOP JUDGING HIM. Good or bad. Because I think that hating him (and the flip side- thinking you are in love with him)) is keeping you obsessing over him. He is a person who is in a great deal of pain- that being said- so are you. Fix yourself. Let him worry about him. You have enough to do.
    And please think about cognitive therapy....Pat Allen (Dr. Patrica Allen) is amazing and that is her specialty. She has a web site.
    And- when you talk to yourself , pretend that you are talking to your best friend- be kind and supportive. And honest. YOU should be the one you are concerned about- not him.
    Good luck

     
    Old 08-20-2006, 01:46 AM   #50
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    Re: Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...

    I completly agree with what Laboon said about not being so harsh BUT his actions cause you pain. You are not the one with the addiction and you have a heathly life. You are a strong a person and can move on from him. It is really (like I said before) but the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Please trust me on this, the only thing he cares about is where is next bump is coming from. You deserve so much more than that. Look at the bigger picture, realize that your life as so much potential so why let some guy hinder that? It is harsh but the truth. There is nothing nice or pretty when it comes to dealing with an addict. For those people that are trying to get better I comend you, it is amazing what you are doing...keep up the good work. i promise you it will be worth it. But hun, you are a person connected to an addicted and from what you have written, it sounds likes he does not want to get better. So my advise, move forward with your life and if he comes to you and seriously has shown you proof that he has moved on from his previous exisitence that maybe slowly go back into his life if that is what you want.

     
    Old 09-24-2006, 08:02 PM   #51
    Margine8
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    Re: Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...

    I haven't been on in a while, but I wanted to thank everyone for all their help and understanding. You guys have helped me a lot and I learned a lot here.
    Thank you all.
    I wish you the best.

     
    Old 09-24-2006, 08:05 PM   #52
    Margine8
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    Re: Letter to my ex, who chooses coke...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wasitme25
    Hey I just wanted to add to this I've seen some of your other posts and I just recently added one of my own I'm new to this it's on page one if you want to read it. I want to tell you I'm going through the exact same things you are. Well I'm not anymore I broke up with him but I still worry about him every day. He had the same symptoms the mood swings, the drinking. He stole from me one day he loved me the next day he didn't want to be with me I finally had enough but I still keep in contact cause I'm worried he doesn't think he has addiction or there is a problem and I just can't give up on him. I think your very brave and strong. If you have any advice for me or can share your experince because I always though it was my fault I never understood it was the drugs maybe I still don't.
    -hey, honestly, its not YOUR fault. thats something that people involved with addicts have to understand. as hard as it is to say, there really is nothing you can do but hope he will be ok. if he wants your help just be there when he needs it.
    this is the hard lesson i learned, that they will do anything, when in the mist of addiction, to continue using. it's like they aren't even human. so forget the good caring person.
    im sorry im negative but all you can do is pray and hope and move on.

     
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