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  • 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE



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    Old 07-28-2006, 02:05 PM   #1
    alisaroche
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    Exclamation 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    I look to have the perfect life, but I am hiding a dangerous secret. I'm 23 years old, work as a successful makeup artist, have a pretty appearance, nice clothes, nice car, great friends, and have also been a VICODIN ADDICT since I was 18 and I NEED HELP!!! In the past five years I have been able to stay clean twice but only for a month at a time...then I relapse. I take anywhere from 6 pills a day to 16-20 pills a day and my liver function test recently came back abnormal. I know if I don't stop soon I will die!!! I just don't have the time to detox because of work and school, nor do I know how. Please, please, please, give me advice as to how I can get rid of this habit before it gets rid of me! I just started a new school so rehab isn't an option. If I were to detox, I would only have two dayS during the weekend to go through the withdrawls. PLEASE HELP!!! I WANT TO LIVE!!!

     
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    Old 07-28-2006, 02:13 PM   #2
    MrClean
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Hey babe. I'm pretty much in the same position you are. I'm 26, good looking, great job, have everything going for me, except for this damn habit I've had for the last 5 years. I know exactly how you feel, I've wanted to quit forever now, but couldn't because of other obligations to work and everything. It's hell. I've quit once for a month, and then relapsed cuz my damn friend kept pressuring me. Well I'm on day 5 right now, and gettin better. It sucks, don't get me wrong. I have the worste wanting to jump out of my skin feeling in the world, but I just keep excercising and it takes it a way for a while. I had to take a week off of work (flu) and hoping to have the worste of the withdrawals over by the weekend. You should do it. i have your back. Start today, call in sick to work and class. Just do it you'll be a lot happier for it. I know i am. mentally I already feel 1000x better and it's only day 5. I'm here for ya if you need a friend so good luck

     
    Old 07-28-2006, 02:33 PM   #3
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    alisa-
    I'm glad you are realizing how dangerous this addiction can be. Right now, you have a major choice to make. You can chose life, or you can chose to continue taking the vicodin which has already proven to have affected your liver. Your liver is a very vital organ to your survival sweetie. You can't live without it. I know you know the seriousness of this situation, so I'm not lecturing at all.

    You really need to decide what is top priority right now. I think your health should be at the very top of that list. Having said that, if you truly want to stop taking these pills and stop this addiction, then you have to make that your top priority. If you want to get clean, you have to find the time and the willpower to do this. It's not an easy road to travel, but you can do this.

    If you feel you can't do this alone, then find support and help from where ever you can find it. Through NA meetings for one. You can also speak with your doctor about weening you off of them, or some other forms of treatment to help get you off of the pills.

    You can try cold turkey but will need to be prepared to handle the withdraws that will come along with it. It won't be pleasant, but again, if you are serious about this you will find a way to do it.

    I am sending positive thoughts your way for strength, determination, willpower, and comfort in your fight to overcome this addiction sweetie. Good luck, and know that you are not alone- we are all here for you!!

    (((Hugs)))
    Lezlee

    Last edited by ozzybug; 07-28-2006 at 02:33 PM.

     
    Old 07-28-2006, 11:06 PM   #4
    percocet211
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Alisa...why don't you try weening yourself off of them little by little. If you take 10 a day, start by taking 9 for a few days and then 8 and so on. I tried to quit cold turkey, but the flu like symptons were so bad I couldnt get out of bed. It sounds like you don't have the time to stay home, so cutting back little by little might be a good start.


    You can do this. It takes 3 weeks to break a bad habit, that is a fact. My shrink told me that when he was helping me to stop eating sugar....for weightloss. The 3 weeks weren't easy, but after the 21 days I didnt miss sugar and no longer craved it.

    You can do this and Im here if you need to talk.

     
    Old 07-29-2006, 08:45 AM   #5
    tryinghardmom
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Alissa......I would agree that a taper is great if you can handle that. Just knowing that there are people here who completely understand and support you is a big help. You just have to want sobriety badly enough......more than you want the temporary high....and it is oh, so temporary, isn't it? Keep posting and let us know how you're doing.....successful or not in your own eyes.

     
    Old 07-29-2006, 11:12 AM   #6
    icehouse3z
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    hey alisa, i understand your situation, im 24 male, almost 25 in 2 weeks, i have been battling the same addiction for about 2 years now, and i can see how time just goes by and i dont want to be doin this years from now, i have wanted to quit for the longest time, i did it twice, 8 days and 10, but relapsed, i think what caused me to was frustration, boredom at work, so i figured i might as well be buzzed. but i realize that pain medication is not the answer, and yes it can affect your health as you can see, i happen to know a little about blood work ups, do you have a copy of the test? do you know what the numbers are

    all i can say is i relate and understand your situation because im feeling the same emotions, I WANA BE OFF ALL PILLS COMPLETELY!!! its just so hard, and i just took 3 percocets

     
    Old 07-29-2006, 01:28 PM   #7
    alisaroche
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    You are all so AMAZING and I appreciate the support! I now have 24 hrs clean, of course feel like ****...flu like symptoms, plus I feel like jumping out of my skin, but xanax has helped, and I know if I can just make it through this weekend I have a good chance of kicking it! I have decided to go cold turkey and face the withdrawl symptoms. I believe this is the only way I will make it! I'm also trying get out of the house, sick as I am, so I don't get bored and tempted. Please keep posting replies because knowing that there are people who care and support me is a tremendous help and makes me feel I am not alone. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!!!

     
    Old 07-29-2006, 01:49 PM   #8
    MrClean
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    I'm on my sixth day here, and it just gets better. I feel pretty good, the restless legs and arms are starting to go away, they're there a bit. and I slept a few hours just now. It just gets better, I went cold turkey and made it. You can do it too. You're going to feel amazing after it's over, I'm already starting to!

     
    Old 07-29-2006, 06:14 PM   #9
    zach016
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Hi Alisa,

    Sorry you are going thru this! Don't beat yourself up about it, you would be surprised how many people run into problems with those meds. nowdays. You have won half the battle realizing you are addicted and wanting to do something about it.

    Have you considered trying to taper? It obviously takes alot of will power and is dificult, but it is much easier to do and continue working and going to school.

    Are you planning on going to work and school this week? Since you have stopped these meds. before you know what you are faced with so I'll join in the support group you have here.

    If you have a good Dr. is it possible you could confide in him and ask him for help? Not to Rx any more Vicodan, but there are other meds. that will help ease the withdrawal symptoms big time and are probably better than using Xanax.

    Good luck and keep posting!!

    Zach.

     
    Old 07-29-2006, 09:53 PM   #10
    shane24
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Clonidine is excellent in helping opiate addiction withdrawals as well, I know it's a blood pressure medication, but studies have shown that it has indeed helped, you start at like 1.8 mg's a day and reduce every 3 days until your down to 0.1 mg's.

     
    Old 07-29-2006, 11:28 PM   #11
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Im in your corner Alisa!!! You can do this Take it hour by hour, and sleep as much as you can. When I tried to do it, I took Xanax to make me sleep which helped. We are all behind you

     
    Old 08-09-2006, 01:07 PM   #12
    alisaroche
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    I relapsed...Vicodin is ruining my life! HELP!!!

    I was doing so well and had stayed clean while going to school, and then I ran into some problems!!! School became stressful and unbearable to tolerate so I relapsed by taking some of my grandfather's Darvocet, which then led me back to the Vicodin. I'm now extremely depressed and have played out different scenarios as to how I would end things. I feel alone, worthless, surrounded by darkness and defeat! The close bonds I once shared with many have disappeared into the darkness along with my self-worth. It's ashame because I know the potential I hold. You'd never expect someone like me to hold such a deep dark secret. There's so much I should be grateful for. I'm intelligent, attractive, charasmatic, and extremely talented at my profession, yet the vicodin continues to hold me back from fully pursuing my career. In all actuality, it is me holding myself back due to emotional and possibly mental problems such as depression, and the vicodin helps in avoiding feeling and dealing. I'm not living right now! Barely surviving! I lock myself in my room rather than going out into the world and living life. Being unhappy and giving up is so much easier. I wish there were someone close to me who could send some inspirational words of wisdom and let me know everything's going to be alright...

     
    Old 08-09-2006, 06:32 PM   #13
    LisaV
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Alisa,

    I understand, to some extent, what you are going through. I was taking Vicodin for 3+ years, at first casually and then needed it to get through a day. For unrelated reasons, my marriage ended, and the Vicodin acted like an antidepressant for a few hours each day..BUT, then there were the hours that I felt so low and cruddy, I couldn't wait to take another dose. I am making a really long story short here, but I ended up very depressed and with panic attacks in January of this year. I thought it was all due to the Vicodin, but after I explained everything to my doctor, finally, she said what I was experiencing was beyond that of addiction and withdrawals. I went to a Psychiatrist who precribed me a real antidepressant, anti-anxiety meds, and sent me to a therapist. I didn't stop the Vicodin CT during this time, but I did start taking less, knowing the other drugs I was on was too much. I am now off the antidpressants and ended a long taper 7 days ago. I look back now and realize that if I just stuck with the Vicodin, I never would've gotten better. There was underlying depression and anxiety that needed treatment. You may be experiencing the same thing. Your depression needs attention, and there is so much help available for that. You can get help almost immediately, so talk to someone ASAP and stop trying to bear all of this burden alone. Once you have a few qualified professionals behind you, you won't feel so alone and, better yet, you will be starting the road to recovery! They can help you get off the Vicodin as well. Get help, and you have such a great chance of looking back 6 months from now (like me) and be so happy that you have a life back. I know you don't want to feel like THIS 6 months from now, so start now, and each day/week/month will be better until you have your life back. Don't wait until you end up in the ER like I did. I was lucky, but I thought for a while I had dome some real damage. You're so young and I believe you when you say you have a truly promising future. But even the most successful, intelligent, talented people are only human and sometimes need help. You need it and it's OK. Do one thing tomorrow to get there. Make a doctor appointment and tell someone. Once you have your office visit, you may cry knowing that you have had a weight lifted off of you and someone is going to help you. I wish you luck, and if I can provide you with any more information about how to get there, let me know!

    Sleep well and know you are not alone!

    Lisa

     
    Old 08-10-2006, 08:54 AM   #14
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    Alisa,

    I can understand what you are going through. I am only a year older then you, good looking, have a good job where I have been for many years & make good money, get good benefits that I can't just up & leave... yet hiding a dark secret to most: addiction.

    I hate feeling so ugly, worthless, dark, alone... even when I know it's not really true, I still feel that way & my addiction just brought me down even more - yet gave me the ability to cope with my feelings... by making me numb to them.

    I realized this is not the life I want... this is not how I want to continue on. Fortunately, detox was an option for me. I have 3 weeks of vacation every year... so I took a week off of work to go through a detox program (my boss & a few office ppl knew what I was going through, but not everyone, & luckily those that knew were/are understanding & supportive & happy that I made this choice). I even got a day extention & got to stay in the detox an extra day, which was great for me. I was put on Suboxone & will be tapered off that slowly, by the dr's recommendation. My aftercare was set up with my detox councelor (who is a wonderful & amazing woman!) - suggested 90 meetings/90days. I have 3 required meetings at the detox a week, then I have other meetings set up for the rest of the 4 week days (luckily, through the meeting, I found my group who are a wonderful bunch of ppl... it's like I gained a whole new "family" & support system, the most amazing thing I found through my recovery).

    I took things 1 day at a time... sometimes 1 minute at a time when things were hard... I just knew that this wasn't going to be easy or come quickly - it was going to take a lot of time, patience, effort & so much more on my part. I knew I had to want this SO BAD or I couldn't have done it.

    Something that really helped me that you could try was everytime I had an urge or craving, to write it down - the date, time, if it was an urge (thought - 5 mins or so) or a craving (feeling the need to actually do it - could last a few hours or all day), what triggered my urge/craving & what helped me get away from it, or forget about it (re-direction of thought, watching TV, going for a walk, calling someone to talk about it, going to a meeting, reading, writting, cooking... anything that you enjoy doing or that you think will work). I also keep 2 notebooks: 1 where I like to write about my days, I don't write in it every day, but I like to try & the 2nd is for my meetings, I like to take notes of things so I can go back & read them over & really soak them in b/c I like to think that when I go to my meetings, I have to really emotionally take it in... not just hear it & then forget about it later. The stuff I learn at my meetings is only going to help me somewhere down the road... so for me, being able to go back & read things over as many times as I want really helps. I like to date each of them so that I can keep track of my meetings & when I learned about what topic... I also keep track of how many days clean I am!

    I wish you the best of luck... addiction is a dark & dangerous place. For your health & safety, I hope you can do this! I will pray for you & hope that you beat your addiction!

    ~DL

     
    Old 08-10-2006, 09:22 AM   #15
    dream life
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    Re: 23 year old vicodin addict...HELP PLEASE

    I forgot to add that I also tried to kick my addiction on my own... it worked, but only for 6 months. At the beginning of this year, in the middle of the 6 months, I found myself in a deep, dark depression. My dr put me on Celexa for depression & Ativan for anxiety. The Celexa made me loose 15 lbs in about 2 weeks, 1 of the side affects is loss of appetite, which hit me really HARD & the Ativan made my anxiety worse. So I was switched to Paxil & Xanax, which seemed to work for me, as well as starting to see a therepist & psychiatrist. But I relapsed & within a month became worse then I could have ever imagined... I was NOT myself at all & was doing things that I NEVER would have thought I could have possibly done & look back & wonder "Who took over my body in that month?!" b/c I was doing such stupid, crazy stuff!

    All of this was brought to my psychiatrist's attention & it was suggested I do the detox... which I was lucky to have the option to do & am glad now that I did it.

    If going through a detox program isn't an option for you, there are other options! You could start seeing a therepist &/or psychiatrist, you could try to find a dr that can get you on the Sub's (if you don't think tapering or CT will work for you again) & I am sure your psychiatrist can help you with that, you can find meetings in your area that could lead to you finding a group & a sponsor, both that you feel comfortable with. The internet is such an awesome thing b/c these days all you have to do is go online & the world is at your figer tips. There's so much online about addiction & recovery that you can look up to help you get through it. You should check out the 12 steps of recovery (it's geared towards alcohol, but you can just substitude your DOC for the word "alcohol", which is what I do). I have a handout that I was given at a group the other night called the 12 ways to accept - which helped me UNDERSTAND the 12 steps of recovery much better... if you want that let me know & I will type it up for you. I keep all handouts/info on paper/pamphlets... anything I think will help in my recovery in a folder, as well as all my notes in 1 notebook & my "personal journal" in another notebook.

    Let me know if you would like the 12 ways to accept... or if anyone else out there would like me to type it out!

    Good luck & again, as I said, I will be praying for you & your recovery!

    ~DL

     
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