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  • My Norco Addiction - going on 5 years



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    Old 11-07-2006, 05:23 PM   #1
    AddictedtoNorco
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    My Norco Addiction - going on 5 years

    Hey there. I have posted a few other threads at other times I have been debating quitting or actually going through withdrawals. Once again, I lapsed and am day 3 without anything, and turning the corner. I wanted to take a moment to simply recount the slow process that lead me down this dark road, and maybe sometime can extrapilate something from it that helps them not make the same mistake. There is one thing everyone needs to know about being addicted to painkillers or any other mind-numbing substance, you are not smarter than your addiction. You can not stop anytime you want and if you quit for good you have to want to quit. Pot calling the kettle black? Sure, but after the 6th or 7th TRIP THROUGH HELL that is W/D's, you start to examine the truth behind the addiction. You are trying to numb yourself from something you are feeling, whether it is fear, heartbreak, insecurity, whatever your particular ailment may be, and until you deal with that which is paining you, you will continue to go down that road.

    Mine started with a motorcycle accident. I spent the next 4 months in an oxycodone or vicodin stupor, washing down at least 10 pills a day with a pint of rum. Nipped that in the bud at the end of that 4 month program since I had to look to rejoin society at some point, and my parents who were sweet enough to take me in and take care of me .I was 25 years old, I kow it is not that bad, but they were watching em kill myself and it was hurting them. I saw that, so I went back out to California where I stopped after a short 4 month addiction. I went through utter hell. It was awful. So awful that I wouldn't even think about touching it again, and I was happy. I had found love. Six months later, I decided I wanted to marry this woman, and if I were going to provide for her, I was going to have to go to college. So I did. Started at a junior college, but wait, this is different. This is change! I'm scared. "Oh you have a couple vic's, sure I'll take some. A couple won't kill me." It slowed, mind you slowly is from January one year to January the next, went from a couple a day, to rshing to have surgery so I would have an endless supply. And not just one, but two surgeries that easily could have waited another 5-10 years. Since Nov 2004 to today I have been on a pretty steady schedule of 3-4 months on, and then anywhere from 2 weeks to 3-4 months off, but it always came back. It got as high as 20-25 Norco 10's per day for months straight when my girl left me, and I have come to realize tht my addiciton is most likely what drove her away. Although I had kept it well hidden, she could feel my distance. And I am not trying to feel sorry for myself, but it is the truth.

    That was December 19, 2005 and I was hooked until Easter. I got off for a couple of weeks, but slowly slipped back down that slippery slope. Two months later, I decided to head on a surfing adventure to Costa Rica for three months. I thought I was done; Funny how when you go somewhere where there is no way to feed you addiction (they dont have anything stronger than codeine - and too much of that will just cause youo to feel dizzy and be backed up). So anytime I go down to my place down there, I get off of them, and this summer I was there for 3 months. Surfing everyday pill free, I was me again. But the night I got back to the real world, the fear and the heartache was still there and coming rushing backt o the surface. I was back August 23 and I took my last dose just over 2 months later last Saturday at 3PM. It is now 5:20PM on Tuesday, so I am almost through day 3. Like I said, I can feel myself roudning that corner, now t is just time to deal with those issues that caused me to want to be numb in the first place.

    Thank you to everyone who posts here and I hope that if at the very least, you find some lttle bit of inspiration to quit from my story.

     
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    Old 11-07-2006, 11:49 PM   #2
    Hollyday
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    Re: My Norco Addiction - going on 5 years

    I posted almost the exact same thing recently! When you quit, you have to ready to FEEL again - and that means the good with the bad. It's tough dealing with that after numbing yourself for years, but now that the pills are no longer talking to me and feeding my brain a bunch of bullsh*t, I am very much enjoying FEELING life in every aspect.

    ~ Hang in there! ~



     
    Old 11-08-2006, 04:27 PM   #3
    logalind
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    Re: My Norco Addiction - going on 5 years

    OMG I feel like we are the same person. I too have been addicted for 5 years and I know I am killing myself. I am terrified everytime I try to quit I freak out. I am a wreck I know I need to come clean but I am so affraid of the W/D's and I know that is a cop out. I recovered from a cocaine addition over 20 years ago. I have even tried making amends like your suppose to according to NA. I keep trying to get the nerve up to calling my Dr. and asking for sub but I keep chickening out. You are a hero in my eyes keep up the good work and I too hope by reading the threads I will find the courage to let go of this horrible addiction. Please keep working hard and keep me in mind. take care and stay strong.

     
    Old 11-09-2006, 06:57 AM   #4
    bkim
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    Re: My Norco Addiction - going on 5 years

    Hey, you are right that you are rounding the corner. I hope you can beat this thing and not have to suffer through the w/d again. Hang in there.

     
    Old 11-09-2006, 10:44 AM   #5
    MsMinn
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    Re: My Norco Addiction - going on 5 years

    wow I really hope you make it this time. After reading that I am throwing out all my ultram. I thought perhaps I could keep a few around for emergencies, but hell, who am I kidding?

     
    Old 11-27-2006, 09:38 AM   #6
    AddictedtoNorco
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    Re: My Norco Addiction - going on 5 years

    Hey guys,

    Well, here I am, still no pills. Thank you all for the kinds words. I will say one thing, there are tons of recipes and whatnot on these threads that may have worked for some people but never worked for me. Immodium and Benedryl, that worked for me. I was uncomfortable and you should plan on not sleeping AT ALL for two nights, but as long as I wasn't racing to the bathroom every 5 minutes and my stomach wasn't uncomfortably cramped, I could make it. We've all had a flou for 3-4 days before, it is no fun, but if you really think about it, are you ever "scared" to get the flu (well, despite the immunodeficient and elderly)? Day 4 gets easier, and every day after that is better and better. If you can afford it, take a trip after you are finished and been off for at least a week (that way you can enjoy it), and don't take anything with you. Go somewhere that you know you can't even be tempted. And then you have to make the commitment in your life when you get back to stay clean. Cancel any online pharmacy scrips you may have and tell your doctor. Some people need things like Wellbutrin or other treatments, but having someone to talk to other than a computer screen helps too. Admitting it to someone close to you is a good thing too, someone you know wont judge you but want to help you get through this. I have great friends that I have been able to come clean with, tell them the signs of my using so they know what to watch out for, and it really takes a load off of your chest. These posts are a great start, but you are still pretty anonymous on here.

    The only way you are ever going to be able to stay clean is to have a support network. People that can keep you occupied when you have the cravings (you always will, you just have to do something to take your mind off of it). You get past the physical stuff and then the mental stuff kicks in. If you are bored, go do something. If you are in pain, take Advil. A quote from my doctor, "Now that you have told me this, I would not be comfortable prescribing anything more than ibuprofen for you." I am happy for that.

    Keep strong and just do it. Take the plunge and get through 72 hours. You will be happy you did.

    All the best to everyone.

    Last edited by AddictedtoNorco; 11-27-2006 at 09:40 AM.

     
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