It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Addiction & Recovery Message Board

  • Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me



  • Post New Thread   Closed Thread
    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Old 12-08-2006, 01:58 PM   #1
    coder
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Nov 2006
    Posts: 111
    coder HB User
    Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    I am starting a new thread, begging for some input from all you wonderful and SO empowering people to help me with my situation.

    Thanks to those of you who have posted in my earlier thread about my attempts to taper off a 14 darvocet / hydro "habit" a day. I use the word habit hyphonetically because I do have legitimate pain issues...a 4 disk cervical fusion that did not resolve well and, just this week I found out at the doctor's that several of my thoracic disks are also shot (bad MRI results just came in), which is adding to my pain. In fact, I just had a series of spinal epidural injections this morning, which has left me in MUCH more pain than normal. Having gone through several of these injection regimens, I am now used to the fact that the first couple days after the needles, the pain is much worse before the steroids kick in.

    Why then, if I have legit pain issues am I trying to taper? I KNOW I am addicted when I am waking up in the middle of the night in withdrawls and find myself at 4am taking a hydro just to ease those symptoms. This breakthrough withdrawl is happening throughout the day too. I find that when I get in a stressful situation (especially at work), then I start experiencing the same very uncomfortable symptoms I associate with withdrawls...chills and sweats at the same time, pain in the pit of my stomach and overall anxiety that does not feel natural (does that make any sense??) Once again, I end up taking a pill to calm these physical symptoms in addition to the times when I take a pill for the legit pain. I know this may sound like a cop-out excuse just to pop a pill, but I am serious when I talk about this nearly intolerable sensation of withdrawls that hit me through the day...even after taking a dose.

    My taper has been a rollercoaster event. I had gotten myself tapered to 8 total pills a day...then a pain flare-up in my back several weeks ago shot that....I was back up to the 14 pills a day. I have been again struggling to taper and have been able to get it down to 10 the past 5 days. Why am I constantly having these breakthrough withdrawls that never happened to me prior to a couple months ago that are sabotaging my efforts?

    I have been on the meds for just over 2 years since my spinal issues were first diagnosed. As so many on this board have stated, I have found my useage gradually increasing from an initial 4 pills a day. I know all about the dangers of too much tylenol, which is what scared me enough to finally decide that 14 pills a day has WAY too much tylenol for my liver (over 8,000 mgs)

    I had tried a couple months ago going cold turkey, but at day 3, the agony of withdrawls was too much and I am in a rather high management position and cannot take a weeklong "holiday" to get through the worst, which is what brought me to a taper solution.

    Can anyone please post some insight to help me. I so desperately want to be off narcotic pain medication, but feel I am failing so badly.

    Thanks everyone and sorry for my long-winded post....

    Lou

     
    Sponsors Lightbulb
       
    Old 12-08-2006, 02:10 PM   #2
    ozzybug
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    ozzybug's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: USA
    Posts: 1,624
    ozzybug HB Userozzybug HB Userozzybug HB Userozzybug HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Lou-
    I applaud you for making this choice, even though you have legitimate pain issues. Realizing and admitting there is a problem is the first, biggest and hardest step. I watched my husband do it with two different addictions.

    I understand your feelings about the narcotics because you were taking way too many of them. I know someone here will be able to help you and everyone will support you through this.

    I do have to ask though, have any of your doctors put you on any kind of ER medications? What you were taking was mostly quick/short term medication for relief of immediate, breakthrough or acute pain. It sounds like you would be a candidate for something that is extended release.

    Keep looking for support and guidance here for your situation, but also, if you have true chronic pain, you might want to also look for some information on the pain management board as well. There are other modalities to help with chronic pain that don't involve oral narcotics.

    I wish you the very best, and hope things go smoothly for you. Take care!

    Last edited by ozzybug; 12-08-2006 at 02:10 PM.

     
    Old 12-08-2006, 02:24 PM   #3
    bkim
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: columbus ohio
    Posts: 712
    bkim HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Lou, I know you dont want to hear this but I have to let it spill.....You are going to have to make getting off of these your top priority. If you can't come to terms with that then it will just be a losing battle. You have got to think of some way, any way to be able to get out of work for at least 2 days. My detox was 4 days. You could check in on wed night and be out by sunday. The w/d meds and the support you can get from an intensive outpatient program are awesome. I'm not sure about where you live or anything like that but you could call talbot hall here in columbus and they could refer you to a program close to you.

     
    Old 12-08-2006, 06:11 PM   #4
    butrfligirl28
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    butrfligirl28's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Sep 2006
    Location: US
    Posts: 863
    butrfligirl28 HB Userbutrfligirl28 HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Lou,

    You should not be having any true withdrawal symptoms, whil etaking this many pills a day. It honestly sounds like anxiety to me, which these meds can cause. Please look up hydro/darvocet withdrawal, and you will see that it takes much longer off the meds to experience "withdrawal." You are dealing with something else, when you have these symptoms. I am not saying that you don't have a problem. I am a firm believer that people "know" when they have a problem, but the symptoms are puzzling indeed.

     
    Old 12-08-2006, 06:26 PM   #5
    reachout
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Posts: 3,409
    reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Dear Coder,
    I am new here, but think we might be in a similar position. I have been on pain meds for over ten years for legit pain. 2 months ago, I had a complete breakdown.... horrible anxiety and uncontrollable crying. I was using 12 oxycodones a day and 1-2 oxycontin on occassion. IT WAS THE PAIN MEDS THAT HELPED push me over the edge. I am off oxycontin totally and tapering off oxycodone. I am not in great shpe, but certainly better than when I ws taking so many pain meds. ( I am now at 2 and 1/2 oxycodones a day and still tapering down.

    I finally realized that I was taking the pills as much for anxiety as pain.... guess my body kept demanding more and more and I did not understand the dependence issue. The funny thing is my pain levels are no greater now... actually probably less. I think my mind tricked me into believing the anxiety for more meds was actual pain.

    I know we all come from different situations, but thought I would share this with you. My heart goes out to you in your suffering.

     
    Old 12-09-2006, 02:28 AM   #6
    sunshinegirl299
    Newbie
    (female)
     
    sunshinegirl299's Avatar
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Location: SC
    Posts: 1
    sunshinegirl299 HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    I'm new to this site but very familiar with what you are going thru. I have the same kind of back problems,I had sugery and was still in so much pain when they found that they only fixed 1/2 of the damaged discs. I was taking 25 Hydro a day and I also had that feeling of breakthru withdrawl that you talked about. I know that it couldn't be withdrawl but it sure did make you feel aweful. The kind of feeling you can never really understand until you've been there which only adds to the cycle of taking more pills.

    What I finally did to help with the pain was to visit a GOOD message therapist every other week for a long time. And I finally started to listen to the Dr. and excercised. For me that meant I sat on the floor and did easy streches everyday. When you have so much back pain that is a major accomplishment. As my back pain was more managable it was much easier to taper off. Actually my body starting respondind better to less meds. I truly believe I would be still on those types of meds today if I did not try and solve the problem that got me there in the fist place. It has been almost 8 years since I was on narcotic meds and still see a pain managment Dr. for my spinal injections. You'll always have back problems but it will be up to you on how much those problems and what comes along with it controll you.
    'll keep you in my thoughts and good luck. I know you can do it.

     
    Old 12-09-2006, 03:16 AM   #7
    coder
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Nov 2006
    Posts: 111
    coder HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. It really helps having others out there that understand and who relate to what I am going through. Tim, you are one poster on this board whose message I particularly look up to, as you are one of my role models of success in this battle. You always reply to others' plights with such words of wisdom...have you ever thought of a career in counciling?
    I am feeling pretty good about myself for yesterday's accomplishment. I had the epidural injections in the morning. From past experience, I KNOW that the day of, and the day after these spinal injections are very painful for me..which usually means those are days where I tend to take more hydro. Well, I ended up only taking a total of 8 Darvocet and ZERO hydros! That may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but it is a start. And what's more, I just woke up, expecting to feel like crap (my morning routine lately is waking up in full withdrawls, feeling shaky, sweating and nauseous). I actually feel pretty good and did not run to the medicine cabinet upon waking to pop 2 pills.
    I am going to beat this and I know there are alternatives out there for those of us that endure legitimate pain issues other than opiates. I feel I have a good pain management doctor who is doing all he can to provide me as much relief as possible ( from epidural injections to nerve blocks to radiofrequency so far).
    I am so glad I found this board. Until I did, I felt so alone in this nightmare. No one in my family knows about the addiction, and I feel too ashamed to talk about it. One room-mate has had several family members die of heroin overdoses and a mother who is a heroin addict on death's door, so I know there won't be any sympathy from her.
    Thanks again to all of you,
    Lou

     
    Old 12-10-2006, 03:07 PM   #8
    reachout
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Posts: 3,409
    reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Hey Coder
    Was just thinking about you nd wondering how you are doing? Are you still attempting a taper? My own taper continues slowly. The more I read about pain and the subsequent dependency on the pain pills, the more frustrated I become. I have spent so many years with my days and my life revolving around pain, and now the days of my life sem to rvolve around getting off the pills and finding alternate ways to deal with the pain.

    Like you, I also started waking up at night... my leg would start bouncing all around and I would take an oxycodone to stop it and be able to sleep again. Sometimes I would wake up feeling anxious and pop a pill. Thought nothing much of it, but in hindsight, I think it was my body looking for more pills. I was in trouble and it caught mr unaware.

    Whatever, I really was wanting to know how you are doing? Post when you can.

     
    Old 12-10-2006, 05:17 PM   #9
    coder
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Nov 2006
    Posts: 111
    coder HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Hi Reachout,
    Thanks for your reply. I am still plugging away. Today will be the 3rd day at 8 pills. Yesterday was a very painful day for me. It always seems the day after I get an epidural injection in the spine is a very hard day. On top of that, I had to go through the pain at work, standing all day. It was tough, but I hung in there.
    Funny thing I am noticing....as I gradually lower the amount of pills I take daily, the night-time breakthru withdrawls actually seem to be getting less and less (???) I did not wake up last night at all and, tho I did take a darvocet this morning when I awoke, I was not in a state of dispair with that horrible sick feeling like I "have" to have a pill to get rid of the sensations.

    I had a typically stressful day at work with none of those sweat and chills withdrawl-like feelings that I mentioned in an earlier post. Maybe things are starting to turn around.

    Reachout, how long have you been tapering??? What is your medical condition that started you taking the oxys?

    Thanks for all the replies my friends. All of the compassion here is so helpful in getting through this.

    Lou

     
    Old 12-10-2006, 07:06 PM   #10
    reachout
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Posts: 3,409
    reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    I started taking pain meds because of cancer that claimed half of my left thigh. I had radical surgery, but then ended up in Boiston where they did surgery that turned muscle from my chest and stomach down into my leg to save it. had 9 surgeries. Radiation, chemo, scar tissue and walking off kilter all caused a lot of pain. This, the road to opiates and upping doses as tolerance built. The opiates finally through me back into horrible depression and I have to come offf them.

    You know, it's funny what you said about not waking up now. The same has happened to me. At night, I now only take 1 oxycodone and 1 xanax and I sleep thru the night. (I have been on xanax a long time also... off label use for nerve damage in the thigh). I don't understand why we sleep thru the night now, but I'll take it. smiles

    Deprssion and anxiety is a part of this tapering for me... actually, the depression and anxiety is what made me go to the doc in the first place and he said it was all the opiates and xanax causing it.

    I don't disagree, however, I think it is also from other meds. After a heartattck, I was put on a ned to slow my heart and a statin for cholestrol... both can cause depression and anxiety. I am off the statin for now.

    However, I know I was usuing more opiates than my body could handle. I could get rid of the pain, but was pretty much not functioning daily anymore.
    It is a viscious cycle, huh? Pain. opites, depression, no opites, pain. Geeze.
    I wish you well on your taper... I am down to 2 and1/2 pills a day from 12. Docs tell me the slower the better, but I am tired of feeeling so crappy. Well, I DO have some good time more often now.

    I see you are working. I think that it is good that you can. I had to retire because I just couldn't function anymore. I am 55.. not really old enough to retire and being at home isn't helping me. I am not the betty Crocker type and I think it is working against me as I taper. too much time to think!

    Please keep posting. I am following you for some inspiration here! Wishing you the best.

     
    Old 12-10-2006, 08:08 PM   #11
    bkim
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: columbus ohio
    Posts: 712
    bkim HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Hey Lou, Just checking to see how things are going for you. Yeah, I have actually looked into the masters program here at Ohio State. My wife is currently working on hers and when she is finished, I hope to start mine. Would be a big load to have both of us taking classes with 2 kids and both of us working. Hope every is going well on your end.

     
    Old 12-11-2006, 02:34 AM   #12
    coder
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Nov 2006
    Posts: 111
    coder HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Reachout,
    Your story make mine pale in comparison. I feel like my neck and back problems are insignificant compared to what you have gone through. I give you a heart-felt congratulations on your battle so far. To go through what you have and still have such and outstanding outlook is simply amazing....a true inspiration for me.
    Tim, thanks to you for your continued interest in my condition. As you might have noticed, I am here posting at 4am. I work a retail management job (asst store manager at one of those Ross Dress For Less stores in Florida). Tis the season to be jolly and the store hours are ridiculous this time of year, so I am up getting ready for work to go in at 5:30. I did find myself waking up this am to some withdrawl feelings, but I really expected it. I took my last Darvocet last evening at 6:45pm, so it has been over 9 1/2 hours since my last dose of any opiate. Still, I did not actually get woken out of my sleep by the withdrawls, but rather had to take a dose right upon getting out of bed to get rid of those DDT's feelings (the standard shakiness, edginess and nausea). Had it not been for that, I would not have needed a pill just for pain. But I am in a taper, so I did take the dose to stabilize my body. I have done the cold turkey thing once and cannot afford to go through that hell again as a retail manager trying to run a store at Christmas. If this was Jan or Feb, I would gladly take a week of comp time (I am salary) and end this right now...but I MUST be able to function at peak performance right now, and why force my body with a shock if I "can" discipline myself to successfully taper.
    Believe me, it is NOT an easy discipline. There are times when my body ( or mind??) screams for more more more, but I try mightily (sometimes unsuccessfully) to avoid taking anymore...I have had slips (see earlier posts) but I know I am making progress.

    I can truly see a dim dim light at the end of the opiate tunnel for me. A big thank you is in store for you wonderful people on this forum for providing my inspiration and continued support in this difficult process. Before I found this board, I struggled with my addiction in silence and secrecy with no ideas of how to even approach an attempt at getting clean. I thank God for having me do that random "gooogle" a number of weeks ago when I started lurking here, reading everyone's stories and found a home.

    Hugs,
    Lou

     
    Old 12-12-2006, 08:56 AM   #13
    reachout
    Senior Veteran
    (female)
     
    Join Date: Dec 2006
    Posts: 3,409
    reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Heya Coder

    Checking in on you to see how you are doing. I hope all is well.

    First, I want to respond to a comment you made about your pain being insignificant in comparison. Friend, pain is pain. Doesn't matter how it comes about. Cancer IS rough, but no more rough than other paths to pain. For many of us, it is pain that led us down this path to opiate issues. That is our common bond. That and getting off the opiates now.

    I started a thread... "tapering and tired of it all." There are just wonderful responses on it from others on this board. Today, I read one from Phil. Please find time to go and read it also. It has given me so much hope in this tapering battle. I believe it may give you the same.

    I am sad that we are in this position in life. However, I try to remind my self that a tough time in my life is only a portion of my life. If it takes a whole year to beat this, then it is still only 1/55th of my life. (Now you know I am an old chick!). I guess I will have to be grateful that 1/55th of my life is only a small portion to suffer to have happiness and joy back.

    Stay strong and stay in touch.

     
    Old 12-12-2006, 09:15 AM   #14
    bkim
    Inactive
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Jun 2006
    Location: columbus ohio
    Posts: 712
    bkim HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Hey Coder, I thought I posted on this thread earlier but dont see it. I can understand about job commitments. Why not plan on checking into some place after the holidays? Maybe put in a vaca request or something like that right after Jan 1?

     
    Old 12-12-2006, 12:38 PM   #15
    Philster2003
    Senior Veteran
    (male)
     
    Join Date: Feb 2003
    Location: Texas
    Posts: 958
    Philster2003 HB User
    Re: Not Getting Any Easier..Withdrawls are sabotaging me

    Coder;

    I haven't written anything but I have just one thing I'm going to say. I don't dwell on the negative, more of a positive type. Kill em with kindness as we say here at work.

    When I was walking on the dark side one thing I recognized and finally realized is I was in big time trouble and I needed to get off opiates ASAP. It also meant I needed to think a whole bunch differently. Along the lines of life or death as far as I was concerned. I basically got to the point that if I didn't get off the drugs and do everything in my power to get off them that I was going to die and die soon. That meant that if I had to take time off work then so be it, even if it didn't seem like a feasibility or I couldnít take time off. If I had to and it came down to work or what I thought was my life and possible death, work was going to be taken off.

    At some point we have to say to ourselves how important is it to get off drugs, ultimately if I don't get off drugs what will happen, will I live, will I die, will I lose everything which is like dying? We can always rationalize why we canít do something but what we really need to do is start to figure out how it is we can change our lives for the better and get off the drugs. Thatís where energy needs to be expended, getting off the drugs and resuming your normal and once your there, incredibly wonderful life,

    So with all my rambling I hope my point is recognized, just do what you have to do to get drug free because if its your not willing to take time off because you will lose your job, trust me, soon enough you will lose your job because of the drugs. In my view far better to do things on your terms then on other terms.

    Sorry, today Iím just so full of it, just ignore me if Iím to opinionated or full of hot air.

    I do pray you will soon be free from the drugs

    phil

     
    Closed Thread

    Related Topics
    Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
    Need help getting off Suboxone Sverige82 Addiction & Recovery 71 04-16-2012 06:13 AM
    When Getting Off Of Pain Meds.. Jtruzman Pain Management 7 01-22-2012 10:27 AM
    Getting off Cymbalta..not fun! Pyramid56 Fibromyalgia 6 09-02-2009 12:08 PM
    We are getting married, so cofused!! Nina000 Relationship Health 50 01-06-2006 02:30 PM
    My story-getting off hydro and sub.. over Addiction & Recovery 47 04-29-2004 03:07 PM




    Thread Tools Search this Thread
    Search this Thread:

    Advanced Search

    Posting Rules
    You may not post new threads
    You may not post replies
    You may not post attachments
    You may not edit your posts

    BB code is On
    Smilies are On
    [IMG] code is Off
    HTML code is On
    Trackbacks are Off
    Pingbacks are Off
    Refbacks are Off




    Sign Up Today!

    Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

    I want my free account

    All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:20 AM.





    © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
    Do not copy or redistribute in any form!