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  • And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on



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    Old 04-09-2007, 05:53 PM   #1
    reachout
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    And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Hello

    Well, last night I was finally able to sleep after about 40 hours awake and being totally exhausted. I actually slept for 9 and 1/2 hours! Woo-hoo!

    This taper from Xanax is sure different from the one from oxycodone! I am now at a steady 3/4 tab at the daytime dose and working on getting the nightime dose to a steady 7/8ths. I do like 7/8ths a tab for 3 days and then a whole tab for one night. Then back to 7/8ths for a few more nights until my body finally adjusts and it will then stay at 7/8ths permanently. Next, that nightime tab will do the wobble between 7/8ths and 3/4 until I can permanently adjust it to 3/4s. It is quite a pain in the neck, frankly, but I am going to stick to this darn plan.

    One of the worst things I face is that I have absolutely no desire to take the xanax at all..none. However, I know that not only is it dangerous to stop a benzo cold turkey, but also that I will never get the needed rest for my body if I were to stop cold turkey. So, here I go plodding along again. Plod. Plod. Plod.

    However, on the bright side, I am not experiencing any depression at all right now. I am feeling very happy. There is a lot of anxiousness and hyperness for sure, but no depression. Now that is a great feeling for me.

    I have done a lot of research and talked with my doctor's and read Zozolizard's posts to help formulate this plan, but was wondering if anyone else on the board is tapering from a benzo? Sure would like to share and get another's imput.

    Thanks for reading and best wishes to everyone struggling to come off any opiate, narcotic alcohol or whatever. Yep, it's a struggle, but we can do it, right? Right! Chuckles.

    Thanks
    reach

     
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    Old 04-09-2007, 07:27 PM   #2
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    I just wanted to pop in here and say

    You are doing great! I am so happy that the depression is not popping up it's ugly head and YAY for sleep. I pray that sleep gets easier for you.

    I know the feeling of not wanting to take any pills and just be done but you are so wise in respecting the power of benzos. Slow and steady wins the race.

    You have such strength and are such an inspiration to so many people here on the board.

    We CAN do it!! Stay strong!

    Thinking of you,
    Flushed

     
    Old 04-10-2007, 09:18 AM   #3
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Hi Reach! I have been following you and your xanax taper and just wanted to wish you my best. You are and have been in my thoughts and prayers! Hang in there. You will be at the finish line before you know it. Take good care of yourself.

     
    Old 04-10-2007, 10:13 AM   #4
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Why not consider using Depakote for the final part of your taper? It can actually speed it up? As an anti-seizure medication, it's been widely used in alcohol widthdrawl, but is barely known yet for benzo withdrawl. I am so grateful that my rehab clinic gave it to me - I didn't have to taper, they took me off the 3 mg a day of Xanax I was on and I didn't have the horrid withdrawl I thought I would. I actually had a pleasant, though very short stay in rehab. After trying to taper on my own and only being able to get down to .75 mg 3x per day, I felt I was going to explode or die if I took any less - I couldnt' do it myself. So I checked into Silver Hill in New Canaan and they told me about using depakote to get off of benzos. I stayed on the depakote for 6 weeks, and had no trouble getting off of it. I've never used a benzo since and it's been 4 years.

     
    Old 04-10-2007, 10:44 AM   #5
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    hi reach,

    it's good to finally see another person getting off of benzos which are also my DOC...most ppl on here are w/d from opiates..

    i was on ungodly amounts of benzos and ended up in detox and then inpatient treatment in 2003....they took me off cold turkey and used phenobarbital to ease w/d....did ok in the hospital, but when i got out and went home i had at least 2 seizures and i live alone.....had no idea what had happened to me as i woke up both times on the floor in the middle of the night with no idea how i got there or what had happened to get me there....i was totally paralyzed and could not move or call out for help....this lasted for hours and when it finally wore off, i had no idea what caused it.....was so compromised mentally that it never even occurred to me to go get medical help!!!! crazy i know but true. i finally mentioned it to the doc and he ordered a brain wave test that turned out positive for seizure activity and they put me on anti seizure meds for 2 years.

    i still have bad anxiety and my present doc has me on klonopin but the dose is tightly controlled by my son, if i had it in my house, i'd be in the same boat in no time...i also got hooked on ambien and that almost killed me.... i swear benzos are the worst drug in the world for someone like me who cannot control my doseage...i am in therapy, but the drug addict lives on in me.

    i am with you reach in your attempt to quit all addictive meds...i too want to be able to get off everything, but my docs tell me that i will be on anit depressants and probably other psychotropic drugs the rest of my life. please tell me how it is exactly that you are doing your taper....i'd like to try too with my docs approval of course.....you are an inspiration to me and i wish you only god's blessings and victories.....please keep in contact so i can be with you in spirit and maybe even get to the point where you are...
    i send all my support and prayers.....................

    BTW....i'm gonna be a grandma in dec!!!!!!!!!!!!!wahooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!pea ce

    Last edited by peace1910; 04-10-2007 at 10:47 AM. Reason: wrong word

     
    Old 04-10-2007, 05:40 PM   #6
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Hi Guys

    Thank you all for your thoughts and input. I really kinda needed that today. This Xanax taper is so very weird for me. I run these crazy cycles of hyperness for a couple of days and then exhaustion for a couple of days. I think the cuts make me hyper and then as I level off, I am really tired. Sometimes no sleep for a night or two and then great sleep plus a nap for a day or two. Maybe it is too early on in the plan to make a judgement call, but it is okay. All the extra energy is forcing me into a lot of movement and that is actually bringing my cholesterol and blood sugar levels down, which have been really high. Also, becuase I am so much more active and hyper, I am losing weight which is really a necessary thing for me. I had a heart attack a year and a half ago and really need to lose weight and get those cholesterol and blood sugar numbers down. Tough way to do it, but guess it is a blessing in disguise, huh? Buckeye Tim would laugh his head off if he could see me now.. his true and steadfast advice is exercise and movement being the key to staying out of the depression from withdrawal.... boy, if he could only see this roly-poly old mama running up and down stairs and all over the place! Haha.

    Maxibear... I really appreciate your advice on the depakote. Actually, wanna hear something ironic? I was in a horrible clinical depression some 10-12 years ago. Really horrible... after some horrific life issues in the family all within a year, I ended up being diagnosed with a rare cancer, had some radical surgeries, radiation, a really rough course of treatment of chemo and thrown into menopause because of it. My body and brain just endured too much trauma until they both broke completely. I was put on some hard core, old time meds to try and bring me out of it. As I started to get better, I was also simutaneously brought off Percocet and Xanax. I remember being given depakote and told it was an anti-seizure drug. I was working with an old fashioned, older eurpean female psychiatrist, Wanda. She was utterly fantastic. I really wasn't coherent enough to understand what meds I was being given and why. It is only recently as I am working my way off the oxycodone first and now the xanax, that my understanding of that long ago time is coming. I did it outpatient because at that time, I had been hospitalized so often that I could not face another hospitalization. I continue to have somewhat of a fear of being locked up in any way, even a hospital. Yeah, I know, a bit irrational. I will only work on this outpatient and with doctors I know really well. Sadly, Wanda has long retird and kind of disappeared somewhere unknown. I searched everywhere for her because she is the only doctor I would have trusted enough to go the depakote route with as an outpatient. Like you, however, I do not know why depakote is not used more regularly. For others out here thinking of coming off benzos, depakote is a great choice. And Silver Hills is well known as an excellent facility.

    Peace... yeah, those seizures are what keep me going slow on this taper. I have a very healthy fear of them, thank you. Smiles. I am also on an antidepressant ever since the first huge depression. After the hard core ones, I was put on a maintainence dose of Prozac and now am on Lexapro the past few years. I tried twice to come off them and it was disasterous. I was given no direction and tried to cold turkey. Whew! Maybe down the road... really FAR down the road, I will try again armed with a heck of a lot more knowledge! Being on the Lexapro is of no concern to me at all at this time. None. And hey! Gramma to be... our very first grandbaby is 15 months old. He is such a light in my life and even brought me to laughter and smiles during the rough stages of the oxycodone taper. I think the power of a grandbaby is so strong in helping us through tough times. This is going to be one of the greatest experiences of your life.

    Arg... thanks for sticking with me. I am a lot of bravado sometimes, but the truth is, I am scared about making it through this taper. I have a great need to talk about it, but I know my hyperness is making my hubby and family a bit nuts. I come here to read and post and try to give my hubby some space from me. He tries so hard, but truly does not understand how hard this is or how worried I am sometimes that I will not be able to complete this taper. I need the board a great deal to help me cope.

    Okay, I have gone on way too long. Thank you guys again for being here for me.

    Always with hope
    reach

     
    Old 04-11-2007, 01:14 AM   #7
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Goodness Reach, you have been through so much!!!!! How strong you must be not to have just given up in the middle of all that, you really are amazing just to still be here and help others with their issues as well as going through your own.

    I think you're doing a great job and I'm sure you will make it

    *hugs*

    Xant

     
    Old 04-11-2007, 06:52 AM   #8
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Reach, I think you're truly amazing and an inspiration for us all. As I come back to these boards everyday, I continue to be fascinated by your story. and further inspired to keep coming back and maybe post once in a while... I once went through a benzo taper (got hooked using it for opioid w/d symptoms) and it truly was one of the worst experiences of my life. You, on the other hand, seem to be doing it with such grace and gentle care. For fear of repeating myself again... you inspire me. Thanks reachout, you've really helped this girl.

    Last edited by jkm1201; 04-11-2007 at 09:01 AM. Reason: sp. oops!

     
    Old 04-11-2007, 08:03 AM   #9
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Hi Guys

    Well, today seems to be a relatively normal day. Spent too much time on the computer this morning, but am getting off it after this post.

    Jkm, can you share a little bit of your own story coming off the benzo? Just curious. trying to gain as much knowledge as I can here.

    And Maxibear, I want you to know that I am reconsidering the depakote for the very end of this taper. I have put more thought into it. As I had said, Wanda, the original psychiatrist who worked with me all those years ago, is nowhere to be found; it is now impossible to get my records to see exactly how she did it with me. However, I do trust my family doctor to the same degree I trusted Wanda and he is very willing to work with me on whatever I suggest ( can't beat a family practioner in my opinion). I think that as the end of the taper nears, I will talk to him about the depakote. I am going to do some research to show him and possibly even ask him to talk to a doctor from Silver Hills. I think he might do that for me.

    Okay, time for me to shake my booty and get some physical activity in here. I am appreciative of the support, guys. Thanks.

    reach

     
    Old 04-11-2007, 08:31 AM   #10
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Reachout,
    Im glad you are having a good, or atleast relatively normal day. My day has been going ok so far as well. I just wanted to pop in here and see how you are doing and wish you the best of luck. You are so strong and I know you can do this! Im happy to see that you have a family practioner that you trust and is working with you. That is wonderful!

    Anyhow, just wanted to say keep up the good work!
    You are in my thoughts and prayers!
    Hugs,
    Harmony

     
    Old 04-11-2007, 11:54 AM   #11
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    You have been through so much. You are a very strong woman and you CAN do this. I have read how hard it is to get off of benzos and I am sending as much strength and love as I can through this computer connection.

    You are an amazing, loving, caring woman and my world is a better place because of you.

    Take it nice and slow and don't rush it.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers~
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    Old 04-11-2007, 11:03 PM   #12
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Hi Reach
    Glad to jump on the tail of your thread. Sounds about normal for benzos, high intensity, fatigue, heavy sleeps, light naps, crabby, nasty, happy, chatter=re You are doing this safe and sound and that is beautiful that you can perservere with all the changes. What I would like to know is how you measure your pills that small and accurate? 7/8 ths?

    I haven't had any opioids since Jan 1-07 and I have had diazapam for emergency cases when I cannot sleep since then. You suggested that I take Melatonin, you get it in the vitamin section of the grocery store, remember? well, my work started to suffer with sluggishness, so I picked up a bottle the other day, they are not heavy, you don't even know you have taken anything, but once you are under your blankies and the hamster wheel mind shuts down and get relaxed, something wonderful happens, I sleep, and if I wake up, I don't stay up, I simply sink back into sleep. Matter of fact I think I will take a couple right now.

    I have had 2 using dreams, 2 nights in a row of my drug of choice.(H) My hate my love. . Warning signs and signals I guess from when, I did some binge drinking last week, the end of my 90 days, boy did I ever get sick, just about triggered the whole nightmare over again. So I re booked some appointments at the drug and alcohol outpatient center Glad we know how to be safe and sound. I would like to have a glass of wine one day but that means I will be dreaming about Heroin, so I have to back down and give up the thoughts of that romantic glass of wine and change it to grape juice.

    During the 80's, my 80 mg Valium per day habit took 7 months W/D I did C/T. I was a hair's breath from checking myself into the psych ward with all the hallucinations, delusional thinking and insomnia. It took a year altogether before I leveled out. . We didn't have all the support we have know with each other.

    Anyway Reach you are doing it, and chillin it, way 2 B, way to go. I suppose we will meet our cyber friends when we pass the pearly gates. I wonder if we get anything for being good. sweet dreams.........sweet angel..

    take treasure care
    kadee

    Last edited by kadee; 04-11-2007 at 11:13 PM.

     
    Old 04-12-2007, 07:10 AM   #13
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    Hello Kadee

    I am so happy to see you post to me. Smiles. And yes, Kadee, we are going to meet someday, yes we are.

    Kadee, someting very important that you wrote to me:

    Sounds about normal for benzos, high intensity, fatigue, heavy sleeps, light naps, crabby, nasty, happy, chatter=re

    I can not tell you how much that has helped me in understanding that the way I am feeling is normal for what I am doing. It is what I needed, or rather, I guess, wanted, to hear badly. Sometimes, in my head, I think, "Kid, you are going around the bend here." I have really been afraid a few times that that is what was happening to me. Thank you, thank you.

    Something funny.... you asked me the same question as my beloved family doctor...What I would like to know is how you measure your pills that small and accurate? 7/8 ths?. Those were his exact words. hahaha! I told him he just has no real understanding of exactly how persistent I can be. I do it by taking the 1/4 pill, which is fairly easy to get to, and braek that in half with my fingernail. If I don't think I got a close enough cut, I simply smash the quarter into crumbs and measure out 1/2 of the crumbs and wet my finger to pick them up and ingest them. He just looked at me, shook his head and said, "Okay, I am not going to break your chops about it." Hahahaha! See? I really can be a stubborn pain in the neck, but he deals with me anyway. Hahahaha!

    Thanks again for talking to me. It has meant a great deal and helped a great deal.

    In spirit
    reach

    Hey Kadee? Just a short PS here...there were times I also took two 3 mg melatonin at a time in desperation. I have since learned that it is easy to develop a dependency on them. I wobbled back and forth between 2 capsules and 1 capsule per night until I could finally use just one a night. Just a suggestion, okay, Sweetpea?

    Last edited by reachout; 04-12-2007 at 08:13 AM. Reason: added an afterthought

     
    Old 04-12-2007, 10:55 AM   #14
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    hi reach
    I read your post back to me and I actually had a little belly laugh and smiled, apple hard cheeks, for about a minute, I got a little tingling sensation in my head, I think that is a God thing of being so thankful we have found each other in cyberspace.

    Nice to wake up and laughing.You said I would, one day, and it was from you. Thank-you

    Oh, and by the way, you might get a surprise if you look up - pill crusher. Let me know what you think.

    hugs
    kadee

    Last edited by kadee; 04-12-2007 at 10:56 AM.

     
    Old 04-12-2007, 10:59 AM   #15
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    Re: And the Xanax taper drags on... and on... and on

    hey reach! its me gwich just dropping in to let you know that I am doing great it took alot of hard knocks to get to this point! I have been clean for about 3 months! YEAH I did time in jail for a few things I am not proud of and I lost my wife in the process but am slowley trying to get her back any way have a lot to talk about read some of your posts and i am so proud of you always knew you could do it!!!! hope to hear from ya soon love comming your way gwich

     
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