It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-11-2007, 02:20 PM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: wy
Posts: 1
skkr HB User
Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

Coping With Adult Children Who Have Addictions And Have Chosen To Continue With The Addiction Is Extremely Difficult For Me, A Mother. Any Suggestion Of How To Live With The Strong Possibililty That I Will Outlive My Children?

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 04-11-2007, 04:41 PM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
Felicia65 HB User
Re: Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

hello I am a mother of two sons with drug proublems, one in prison just sentances monday 8 years searve 3 but if he messes up he is looking at 40 years, thats scarey, that when he does come out he may go back to useing, and I will die while he is in prison, to the answer of your question, that is a hard thing to live with, I dont know if you belive in God but thats where your peace will come from, faith, Felicia

Old 04-11-2007, 05:31 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Northpole
Posts: 347
Dantheinsane HB User
Re: Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

Yes, this is probably the hardest thing for you both to do, but you need to start a life without these kids anymore. There are ways to help you learn how to do this. One is Alanon. There will be a lot of God talking there. The other way is through your Church. Immerse yourselves in God and Church. And the last is through therapy.

I prefer Alanon, because it is cheapest and the first place to accomplish this. It was founded by the wife of Bill Wilson who founded AA.

They will teach you to "Detach with Love."

Or the therapy route. I use therapy and it has helped me beyond my wildest dreams, but then I am a clean and sober son of my parents and have been for many many years.

Old 04-11-2007, 05:48 PM   #4
Im a mess
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tucson, az. usa
Posts: 90
Im a mess HB User
Re: Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

I agree with DAN..Detach with love, I like that...Alnon is a wonderful organization. When my step father was having an alcohol problem , my mom went to that group and learned how to live with this man...I was also addicted, and my husband was addicted.I got clean, and I kicked him to the curb, he just wasnt ready yet , to get sober..I myself went to Alanon and its amazing what you can learn there, and it helps to get rid of some of the anger and resentment we can feel for these abusers. Dont wait any longer, you need to live your life now, which you earned, so please get the number and make the call, you WONT regret it.. Sincerely...IM A MESS

Last edited by Im a mess; 04-11-2007 at 05:57 PM.

Old 04-14-2007, 01:04 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 645
isitme HB Userisitme HB User
Re: Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

The only way for you to cope with your childs drug problem is for you to put the problem where it belongs, with the addict, not you. I have learnt to detach fron my son over many years. Only now am I able to accept him for who he is. Prior to that, there was alot of emotional grief for what I should have had from a son, but never will. Acceptance is a great healer. And in no way is their addiction your problem. Please try to remember that. They are making their own choices. YOu are in no way to blame.

Old 04-20-2007, 07:49 PM   #6
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 396
Felicia65 HB User
Re: Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

hello, again, I tryed alanon here in my home town, and I didnt seem to fit in, I try to tell my self I had nothing to do with both my sons addiction, But I do no that the childhood was not the best with out me there, they have grandparents that give them anything thay wont, and that was a big proublem all there life, and they are still giving, I love my sons, but I have no clue or understanding who they are, My oldest use to tell me he could quit anytime he wonted, now in jail facing 3 years he says he cant, I cry for them, and I pray god will open there eyes, because I cant do anything, I have begged and pleaded, screamed, jump up and down, talked about death , nothing works, So yes I belive it is up to them , How sad to give brith to a child and watch them kill there self right before your eyes, And know there is nothing you can do

Old 04-21-2007, 03:24 PM   #7
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 333
Podee HB User
Re: Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

I would give it at least a dozen al anon or the equivalent (Adult children of alcoholics, coda, nar anon, etc.) meetings before calling it quits. Good luck.

Old 04-21-2007, 06:10 PM   #8
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Danvers, Ma.USA
Posts: 29
Rosanne54 HB User
Re: Parents Of Adult Children With Addictions

Try going to different meetings. They all have different flavors.
Good luck. It took me awhile and recently I came across a group that I

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My son n my parents mykinzie10 Relationship Health 3 04-19-2010 06:38 AM
Adult sister vrs. my parents-a sociopath in the family writeleft Relationship Health 16 10-17-2009 05:05 PM
Anyone here ever been disowned by parents? LonelyTraveler Relationship Health 12 12-03-2007 05:56 AM
Parents w/Bipolar Kids in Crisis Ruth6:11 Bipolar Disorder 9 10-20-2006 01:43 PM
I'm a parent, still having problems with own parents missTee Parenting Issues 10 07-20-2005 01:57 PM
Parents Don't Understand Whelmed Bipolar Disorder 5 01-04-2005 04:07 PM
A teenager speaks out for parents MissEnlightened ADD / ADHD 9 11-30-2003 06:25 PM
Good info for parents and angry people wannabehotguy Anger Management 1 09-05-2003 08:55 AM
Parents who smoke around kids - isn't it abusive? lslydov Parenting Issues 5 08-14-2003 11:03 PM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:39 AM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!