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    Old 06-15-2007, 01:00 PM   #1
    tabby99
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    valium,alcohol,or both?

    First of all, I've been taking valium for 4 years, 30mgs a day. I also have been drinking alcohol for about 5 years but have been drinking everyday for the last 4 months.

    I came off the alcohol and had been only taking 1/4 of a valium for the last week.
    My question is that my arms, hands and mouth feel numb, my brain feels really weird, is this withdrawals from the valium, alcohol, or both?

    I feel very tired. I look very pale and i've became agoraphobic. I know i should taper off the valium slower, but i'm just sick of being dependant on valium and alcohol.

    If any of you have had these kind of side effects, please let me know. I think that it is withdrawal from one or both of these things, but i get afraid that there might be something else wrong with me.

     
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    Old 06-15-2007, 01:47 PM   #2
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hello Tabby and welcome. Sounds like it's a little bit of both. I was not addicted to valum or alcholo but whenever you stop useing whatever you are on you usally go through w/d's. One good thing I can tell you is they won't last forever. Sorry I can't help more but I'm sure someone on here can. Lots of love and luck to you.

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 02:24 PM   #3
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hey Tabbers... never been on valium so no help there... how much are you drinkin per day? I try to limit my drinkin to 3-4 days per week and no more then 3-5 glasses of wine in the evenin but on Monday nights after not drinkin I have real trouble getting to sleep which I assume is caused by the lack of alcohol...

    Take care... Dave!

    Last edited by crookedback; 06-15-2007 at 02:26 PM. Reason: grammer

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 04:08 PM   #4
    tabby99
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    I've been drinking anywhere between 12 to 20 beers daily. I did this for 4 months nonstop.
    Thanks for the replies. I have been off the booze for about a week now. I hope that it gets better.

     
    Old 06-15-2007, 11:47 PM   #5
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hi Tabby,

    Alochol and valium (or any benzo) are essentially the same. Valium is booze in a pill and vice versa. They create the same effect on the brain in the same area of the brain. Have identical w/d symtoms. And are dangerous to withdrawal off of. Are you taking 1/4 of a "bar" a day or week? If daily, you're not out of the clear yet...be real careful! Taper very slowly from the point you are at now. The body can go into cardiac arrest and/or seizures. Both valium and alcohol leave the body extremely fast, that is why it is so dangerous to w/d from. A shock to the body.
    The symptoms you're describing that you are currently having are typical of any withdrawal. You are in an ajustment period and it will subside with time. Be very careful though stopping this last bit too quickly....

    Check out the detox plan at the top of the main page here....

    Make sure to take lots of potassium, bcomplex, gatorade, eat alot (if you can) fatty stuff, and eat sugar or chocolate to replace the alcohol. It will definately make you feel alot better because there is so much sugar in alcohol. It has a calming effect. You're gonna be tired that's just part of it but it will slowly get better. The agoraphobia is normal too, but you might try just getting out in small spurts for a short walk so as not to isolate too much. It WILL lead to using again...guaranteed. So if you're real sick of using, don't let the phobia get you too hard.

    Hope I could help, and hang in there, it sounds like your through the worst part already, for the most part.
    Shay


    Also, have you ever tried a 12step program with others like you? It will definately help get you through the w/ds, give you support and keep you from isolating so much.

    Last edited by shay4bliss; 06-15-2007 at 11:50 PM.

     
    Old 06-16-2007, 06:17 AM   #6
    tabby99
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hi Shay. Thanks for explaining the benzo, alcohol thing, both acting the same way. I had
    thought that and even told my husband that because when i drank i didn't need the valium.

    I started out taking the valium because i had really high anxiety and my doctor prescribed
    them to me. I eventually built up a tolerance to them and he wouldn't prescribe more than
    30mgs a day. Thats when the drinking became a problem, even though i was drinking before I ever started the valium, i never drank regularly.

    I am currently taking 1/4 of a 10mg pill a day. I'm tempted to up the dose, because of the side effects i'm having. I know that i can't keep on drinking because i would get up in the mornings and grab a beer instead of coffee. I would drink 4, then take benadryl and sleep.
    I'd wake up shaking and drink more. It took over my life. Now, I just want my life back.

    As far as aa, I could go, but I dread letting my family know whats been going on with me.
    My husband does know and he will support me in anyway i choose. He denied I had a problem for along time, even though I knew I did. He now admits that i do have one.
    My parents are the ones I dread letting know. They know that I drink, but not like I have been. This is also a very small community and everyone knows everyone.

    I hope I can do this at home, if not, then I will get help somewhere. My life has spiraled downwards ever since I started taking the valium. I know that benzos have helped alot of people, but I have an addictive personality and I can't take anything that alters my mind, because I like the feeling. Anyways, I guess i'll get off here and try to do something beside lay in the bed.

     
    Old 06-16-2007, 10:24 PM   #7
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hey Tabby,

    Yes, I know about the small town thing...I lived in one a couple of years ago for a few years and it totally throws out the anonymous thing! Is there a town maybe an hour away or someting that you could drive to if even for once a week? You could eventually establish a sponsor and they would be very helpful in being available to you and giving you suggestions, alternatives, as well as a ton of support and "recovery survival skills".

    You sound alot like me. I'm a very addictive personality...hate admitting sometimes, but if I don't I'm doomed for sure! I know, for myself, when I quit this again...hopefully for the last time...I have GOT TO establish another "addiction" that is healthy, inspiring, and "okay" to be addicted to.
    If I'm not addicted to drugs, it will just be a man, or food, smoking, something...so I better find something worthwhile that doesnt' hurt myself or anyone else! Know what I mean? I'm sure you do. That's why you'll see alot of people "addicted" to AA or NA....they're just like us too. But as long as you're addicted to something positive that is keeping you from the bad addictions, well....no harm...right?

    I trully understand your plight!...but it's workable...I do know that! Good news!
    And you are so very lucky (it sounds) to have a really supportive hubby! If you just find that you can't kick the benzos or alcohol at home, check out a detox....it's usually only 3-5days....it only works on the physical part (detox), but then you can go to AA, NA, church, whatever works for you to keep you IN recovery....and not relapsing. Really gotta have that!

    Really hoping and wishing the best for you! Keep us posted please!
    Shay

     
    Old 06-17-2007, 06:14 AM   #8
    tabby99
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Good Morning, Yesterday I ended up drinking because i couldn't handle the w/d's. I didn't get plastered like I usually do. I ate a huge dinner and went to bed at 10 lastnight.

    This morning however, I took 1/2 of a valium. I did alot of thinking about which i should choose first and i think i'll stick with the valium for now. I have a 9 year old daughter and sometimes things come up to where I may need to drive and i can't drive while drinking.
    My husband agrees. He's at work everyday, so valium it will be.

    I am going to the doctor tomorrow. I'll take the valium as needed until i feel ok, then i'll use
    Ashton aproach to get off the benzos.

    I took patassium, a multi-vitamin and b-complex this morning. I have just about every vitamin and mineral you can buy. I have magnesium/calcium also, but haven't taken it.

    I really appreciate you that have taken the time to help me understand more about my problem. I hope you all the best in getting through your w/ds. I know that it's hard coming off just about everything.

    I have a cousin who went to detox for xanax and pain meds. He said it wasn't fun, but he's making it. I'm going to work really hard to try my best to get off everything. I know it might take some time, but I also know that i can do it.

    Also, I could go out of town for aa/na and i've been thinking about it. I still would rather do it at home of course, but if it don't work, then i'll do what I have too.

    Again, thanks all
    Tabby.

     
    Old 06-17-2007, 07:25 AM   #9
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Tabby Dear

    I have been reading your thread and want to applaud you for thinking and wanting to get off valium and booze. These are wonderful thoughts.

    I think perhaps you are hiding behind your fear and pride in your thoughts. Oh, my goodness! What if someone finds out and I no longer have a perfect reputation? Oh, my, will my parents be devastated if they ever find out? What if I go to a local meeting and someone there recognizes me? What if it is too hard for me?

    What if? What if? What if?

    What if we just accept that a problem is looming large in your life because you are human as we all are and need help sometimes too resolve a problem. If you had a mental and emotional breakdown, I believe you would accept all the help you could because you would be desperate to get better. I know I would... and have. I fell into such a deep clinical depression and baby, you better believe I accepted help from doctors, hubby, aduly children, neices, friends.. anyone and everyone who could help me. And they all gave me help because I would do the same if the table were reversed.

    I think you have an idea of wanting to resolve this problem, but no concrete reality of how big a problem it can be. The resolution is so far beyond just a desire to stop. It is hard, hard work... and the truth is that you are going to be pretty darn sick physically and then undergo depression as you have never felt it before.

    I have endured cancer. At that time, I fought like my life depended on it because it did. When I knew I had a problem with prescription drugs, I fought the same way because again, my life depended on it. I consulted doctors, I formed a plan for a course of action and treatment and I followed through with the help of all family members and friends who would help. Lord, people came out of the woodwork for me! It was so great. For six months while I had to live away from home often for surgeries and treatment, meals came on a daily basis... all scheduled. Support came everyday in the form of cards, flowers, phone calls, etc while I lived away from home and when I returned home. I was so honest with my doctors. When I felt like crap, I told them and they did all they could to alleviate the symptoms. When I couldn't pay bills, I told them and they forgave major portions. When transportation and household bills became a problem, I didn't havr to tell anyone... money flowed into our house... more than I had earned in salary! All this, Tabby, because all these people CARED about me, loved me, treasured ME, a chubby paraprofessional who earned under poverty level income and have never done anything greater than caring about the many people in my life.

    Do not belittle the problem you have. It is going to take a huge plan, done in stages, to overcome it. It will be a change in thinking totally. So many people talk about how the flowers look prettier and the sun feels warmer in recovery. These things are true, but are indicitve of a much greater change in awareness in thinking. It is an overall change and reinforcement of how precious life is. That is why we 'suddenly' appreciate family and friends more. That is why we 'suddenly' begin to value ourselves more. That is why we 'suddenly' re-accept our need for God.

    I suggest that now is the time to begin your new thinking and in much more earnest, not in fleeting thoughts. Plan out a strategy thoroughly with a qualified doctor. Let your parents know because you will need help with children and care for yourself. Please read a heck of a lot more stories here and get a realistic grasp about what you are about to undertake.

    Get back here and ask questions... a million of them as a start. Learn from those who have gone before you. And please, please read The Sample Home Detox (very first thread on this board) before you do anything else.

    With all hope
    reach

     
    Old 06-17-2007, 09:42 AM   #10
    tabby99
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Reach, Thanks for the post. You are right about the pride. I know I have alot of it when it comes to admitting that I have a problem to my family. I know I should tell them and they probably know alot more about what's going on than I think they do. I just can't seem to let my mom know. She has such high expectations for me and my sister. We learned over the years just to keep things from her. As far as my dad, he would just tell me it's all in my head. He use to drink heavily and after he had a heart attack, he stopped.

    I do know how depression feels. 10 years ago, when i was pregnant, I had major depression and I did seek help from anyone and everyone. I didn't sleep very much for 3 months and I couldn't get medication because i was pregnant. I swore to myself that i would do anything to never go through that again. Now, I'm looking it right in the face again. That's why I self medicate, I suppose. Self medicating isn't working either. It's caused me more problems than it has solved.

    I really don't know what lays ahead of me because i've never dealt with w/ds before. I have seen others that have been going through w/d's but I couldn't feel what they felt. I'm scared. I'm afraid that I won't suceed. I'm afraid what is life going to be like if I do? I have so much bottled up inside of me that sometimes I literally feel like i'm going to explode.
    I don't want to deal with life. There's so much that I have done while being in a drunken stupor and I can't take it back. I could write a novel all about me, but I don't want to do that on here.

    I did read the home detox plan, but i had to keep rereading it. I'm having trouble concentrationg, so forgive me if my thoughts get all scrambled on here. I seem to jump from thing to another. That's how my thoughts are working right now. I'm bouncing all over the place.

    Tabby

     
    Old 06-17-2007, 11:00 AM   #11
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hey Tabby...

    I neglected something important in my posts about vitamins....You say you're taking the potassium and that's good, I forgot to say that you need to take magnesium as well with it. Magnesium is needed with the postassium to facilitate it....or make it absorb......sorry about that!
    Also, maybe it's just the way your post was written, but it kinda looks like maybe you think AA/NA is a detox program or something? You had said (I don't know how to use the quotes) that "you might try NA/AA, out of town, but you'd like to just try yourself at home?"....You do know they are just hour long meetings with people just like us...like this board....telling their stories and how they have gotten through w/d's, maintain recovery, and the tools they use to do it..(in a nutshell)..right? Just wanted to clear that up in case.....You can establish a sponsor there, just ask someone you like or can relate to with at least a year sobriety to be your sponsor. They are just there to be your "main buddy" and guide you. You can call them, they can call you, give you baby steps to work on to guide you through recovery....so that you don't relapse or to help you just get on your way to abstinence.....
    You probably knew all this and it was just that your post was just kinda misleading, but thought I better clear it up in case!

    Also, I understand totally about your family and town. Reach is right though, but you will get there. This is all a process and you won't get it all or do it all at once. If you need to keep things to yourself right now to get you started and that's what it takes, then so be it. As long as you know, when you do hide it, it will lead back to using. That's a huge deal to all of us! But just be careful your true intentions for not telling others. I know alot of people myself included that used that excuse because "it will mess up our using and our high if we tell"....you know what I mean? Once you tell, the jig is up. I think maybe that's what Reach is saying....just very tactfully. BUT, if you know you're intentions and are really honest with yourself, you can quit THEN tell your family when you're ready...just don't let it ruin potential sobriety.

    I also, saw the other's post about the Ashton method of detox and read the entire manuscript last night. There's alot of very accurate stuff in there that alot of medical study has proven which I've known from just plain use and trial and error, so I agree with the manuscript completely. Just make sure and read the whole thing, not just the "how to do it" part. She addresses alot of issues that may come up in detox. One of them being poor detox or difficult detox and or long term detox symptoms due to ANXIETY over detoxing. You are stressing about it really badly. She says it makes the detox much worse and I agree totally! I can tell you this, being the first time you've detoxed that's a good thing. It will be easier. I know that sounds backwards but it is harder to detox everytime you start, stop, start, stop....She explains it medically there and it basically has to do with scr##ing with your brain's receptors. So don't get caught up in the anxiety of detoxing, for sure.
    There are just a couple of things she said that, I personally don't agree with. One of them is the fact that she really doesn't address fully the true addict and w/d which you are you've said...her plan, just in my opinion is too long for the addict, and she advocates drinking wine for sleep and anxiety....Just be really careful with all that!
    Being an addict, you know that "ain't gonna work". The detox plan is coming more from a standpoint for someone who has taken benzos as prescribed and will have w/d's coming off and does not have other addiction issues. Just a little bit of a "beware" for you....But you can definate use alot of that info and modify it to your situation.

    I hope you all the best for sure! You gotta do some inner work though for sure, like Reach said. Something Kadee has suggested here and other's have raved about, and I too have the actual books...is the "Hazeldon' site....they write alot of inspiration stuff and how to's for addicts...and write the AA/NA publications. She said they will send you (email) daily affirmations and things like that.
    Shay

     
    Old 06-17-2007, 05:10 PM   #12
    tabby99
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hi Shay, I caved in and took 10mgs of valium and i feel alot better. I'll be going to the Dr. tomorrow to get a refill for the valium. I can't tell him that I drink because he will take the valium and suggest rehab. Not suppose to drink on the benzos.

    I do know what aa/na is, but my mind has been so scrambled that I don't come through as clear as i would like to on here. I looked up some locations that are near me. I won't lie I do dread going, but if I have too, then so be it.

    My husband has been reading the replies you all have sent me and he said that reach hit the nail on the head. He said that I worry to much what others think of me and i've always been that way. He said I try to be perfect and I set myself up for failure because nobody is perfect. He told me to do whatever it takes to get clean. It don't matter what my mom, dad, grandparents or even hisself thought. I have to choose to live or die and if they can't handle that, then it's their problem not mine.

    I'll keep coming on here and asking questions and i've been reading alot about others and how some have already been clean for awhile now. I think it's really cool that they still stick around and help the rest of us out.

    I'm starting to ramble again, so i'm off here to watch law and order.
    See you soon
    Tabby

     
    Old 06-18-2007, 12:23 AM   #13
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    get off all of that stuff and dont worry what anyone thinks. Your life and health is much more important. Just get off. I dont suggest just doing it C/T I can't believe you have the strength to drop as much as you have. I have been on just 2mg of valium daily for 2 years and I go through withdrawals. They suck. I am trying to get off of it. I also drink. Just a few beers. But its basically as shay said doing the same stuff in my brain. Don't just quit one and try to continue on the other. Make a decision to give them both up for good, but do it in a wise way, get the advice of a medical professional, your doses are way too high to just C/T. I wish you luck, you will make it, you have to be determined and work hard at it. But you will prevail. Long term use of either is just no good.

     
    Old 06-18-2007, 04:39 AM   #14
    tabby99
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Hi sun, I am aiming to get completely off both, but as far as my health, I think the alcohol has to go first. I may have to attend some kind of meetings because i've tried to quit before and only lasted a month and then ended up on a 4 month binge with alcohol. I use to drink only whiskey, but i was blacking out so i ended up on beer. It hasn't helped much by switching to beer, because i just ended up drinking more of it. I even started blacking out on the beer. I'll bbl, because i'm on my way to the dr. this morning. Wish me luck all.
    I have some questions to ask, but I don't have time this morning.

    Take care,
    Tabby.

     
    Old 06-18-2007, 12:52 PM   #15
    tabby99
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    Re: valium,alcohol,or both?

    Well, I went to Dr. I told him that i wanted to come off of the valium, but I never mentioned alcohol. He told me that he really didn't have any experience with people coming off medication. He wrote me a script for the valium and a script for celexa. I've took just about every SSRI there is. Last one being lexapro, which from what i've read is about the same thing as celexa.
    I guess i'm pretty much on my own with this taper. I don't know if I should try to stablize on the 30mgs I'm prescribed for a week then make my first cut, or just make the first cut tomorrow.

    I'm 2 day's sober with the booze. Now if I can keep it that way. I took the celexa 20mgs and it knocked me out. I was like, WoW. None of those meds have ever knocked me out.
    I slept for 2 1/2 hours. I guess I'll keep taking the celexa unless there's some kind of weird side effect.

    Do any of you take an anti-depressant and do they actually work? Anyways, I guess i'll look around on here for alittle.
    Tabby

     
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