It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Addiction & Recovery Message Board

Thank you

Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-26-2007, 06:59 PM   #1
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: ny
Posts: 37
percproblem HB User
Lightbulb Thank you

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][COLOR="Indigo"]First off, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who posted a reply to my question.
This was the first time i used this site and i wasn't sure what to expect.
I feel very encouraged today after reading all your kind words!
Everyone had the same theme in their reply, "That i can do it!"

Second, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, And i keep wondering how this one little pill can take control over so many people's lives.
I feel like I have become another person all because of this stupid drug. What it comes down to is that it doesn't matter why I originally starting taking it. It is where i ended up. And i ended up becoming addicted.

I feel like i lost my innocence. (if that makes any sense). I have become a person that i do not like anymore. And it is really sad to be honest with myself and say that and to even write that. But I feel that i need to start being honest with me and to see what it has done to me.

I always thought that by taking it that i had more energy, was funnier, worked better, made me not depressed, etc, etc. But at the end of the day and i run out of them i see it for what it really is....

I take anit-depressants and i see someone, but i always make excuses as to why they don't work. And now i am just beginning to realize that for what it really is. (Excuses) I don't give them time to work, because i like, LOVE percocet too much. It is such a love - hate relationship. And it doesn't love me back.

I realized how bad i had gotten with my addiction this week when i came down with strep throat and bronchitis. My ear, nose and throat dr. (who doesn't know about this problem) called in some prescriptions for me. And one of them was a codeine cough syrup. Well, you had to see the look of pure excitement on my face when i opened the bag at home after picking up the scripts and seeing the bottle. I all but thought it was christmas!! Then my old self kicked in and said this is not normal. You should not be excited over a bottle of cough syrup. But i was. And all day long i sat in a happy stupor smoking ciggarettes. (great for bronchitis right) Lying to myself about the reasons why i take it and why i can't stop.

So i realized i need to stop the crap. Because out of all the lies i tell to people, i seem to lie to myself the most.

Thank you for letting me share this with all of you.

Sponsors Lightbulb
Old 10-27-2007, 07:10 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 844
granny0 HB User
Re: Thank you

Hey Perc,
I think you pretty well spoke it and summed it up- that's how the rest of us feel/felt. You've realized you hava a problem. Now it's time to figure out how to dispose of it. Thanks for your post and honesty.
Best wishes,

Old 10-27-2007, 08:04 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,412
reachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB Userreachout HB User
Re: Thank you


Just wanted to say that I have totally been where you are. It took a full breakdown for me to do what I had to do and get off the opiates and Xanax. I knew, I knew at a deep level that these drugs were taking my essence, my life away from me, but I feared coming off them. I didn't like what I had become, but I feared what I might become without them.

I am off them now and understand that my fear to be off them was a self-induced fear. There is nothing to fear in my restored life... nothing at all. I am whole again, I am loved still, I am productive, I am happy. It sure wasn't easy getting here as withdrawal is tough, but I survived, I am here, and I don't want to ever go back to that dark pit where I was.

I am on an antidepressant. I was on it years before I began the tapering off of opiates and benzos. During my taper I learned many things through both research and what I was experiencing. One thing I learned is that antidepressants can not work properly or to their maximum potential if we take opiates at the same time. As the tapers went along, the antidepressant kicked in again as it had when I first began it.

The honesty thing... oh, man, is it such a vital part of finding recovery from using drugs like opiates improperly. So vital. I think the time is ripe for you too get honest with a doctor now that you have gotten honest with yourself. It will be a huge first step in reclaiming your life. Please try to do this. It is always scary to make that step to 'go public' with the issue, but understand that it ios an issue doctors hear and deal with all the time. do it and your own journey off will truly begin.

All best wishes

Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
To The Caregivers: Thank You mariahlw23 Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 2 04-09-2010 08:33 AM
new medication for breakthrough pain lme724 Fibromyalgia 4 07-18-2009 06:42 AM
This site is a life saver! Thank you so much. beachgal01 HealthBoards Testimonials 0 11-20-2007 10:07 AM
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you KFld Addiction & Recovery 6 05-09-2005 05:28 AM
Social Behavior Issues 7 y/o boy lovemyboys ADD / ADHD 11 11-10-2003 06:24 PM
Thank You Patienceandreward!!!!!! MrsBungle Acne 34 10-06-2003 08:39 PM
Thank You For All Of Your Support & Advice! Bcorica Back Problems 9 07-10-2003 12:26 PM
I'm back, thank you all so much for being there for me BAXTER Back Problems 60 06-06-2003 06:24 AM
"Thank You, Eating Disorder" Stigma Eating Disorder Recovery 0 02-20-2002 10:06 AM
Thank you all! Running Queen Eating Disorder Recovery 6 03-09-2001 06:00 AM

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:54 PM.

Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
© 1998-2018 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!