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    Old 11-23-2007, 12:33 PM   #16
    tat2duser
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    Yoss - Have been looking for some of your original posts to catch up on your story.... You're coming from Meth, correct? Are you now on Sub or anything, or are you doing it CT??

    Regardless of HOW you're doing it doesnt matter I s'pose....all that matters is THAT you're doing it.

    And you CAN do it....

    Peace Brother - hang tough.

    tat*

     
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    Old 11-23-2007, 02:01 PM   #17
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    i was on 60ml of methadone (+ still taking H) for about a year - had tried to come off the H using blackmarket Subbys - got down to 4ml/mg then caved in to the gorrilla sized monkey on my back. anyway ive been bringing down my meth since june/july and found that 60 down to 50 wasnt a problem for me - i even jumped qute drastically -determined to beat this thing, i had no W/Ds. The only uncomfortable part was from 5ml down to 2 ml - 2ml i felt lousy, so i thought ****** it - go for it. that was 11 days ago - thats when i found these forums and started posting. until my relapse 3 years ago i had a 10 year period of being clean - prior to that i was injecting methadone & cyclazine in such large ammounts that i wasnt "hallucinating" i was having full blown dellusions?! talking to people in my living room for over an hour - then gong to make "tea" and returning to find that i was actually alone - the chair/setee untouched - it was all in my mind - that was some "bad ******".

    i felt like crap & had about an hours sleep each night for the 1st 4 nights, very bad leg tremors/spasms - on the 5th night i traveled to Leeds (a city about 3hrs from where i live) to visit a friend i hadnt seen in years. we got drunk for 2 days on red wine and beer - i managed to sleep well and even eat a chinese meal! but the most important thing i found out was something that had been missing in my life for so long - Laughter! agreably i haven't had much to laugh about recently but it was amazing what a difference it made to my mental state.
    the other thing i feel is a great help is - Music. the right music can really make a difference- help lift that black cloud that descends when u think that you're over the W/Ds . medicine can heal the body - music and laughter CAN heal the mind.

    another important thing was finding this board - to be able to read about how other people are coping, other peoples opinions and most importantly the support and advice from everyone like yourself - im not the type to attend NA so i find it really beneficial to post on here -as it helps me day by day (which is why your threads/posts are usually followed by a comment from me - i think ive overposted Op'd is the medical term i think!)
    Where was i? eh........forgot what i was on about?!

    Eh...*in an Elvis voice* Thank you very much and good night!

    oh yeah...cheers for the positive comments tat - always appreciated & as ive said -anything i can do to help - i will mate. keep going & hang in there. you're a winner - and with 6 kids to keep you in tow - that truly is an achievemnet - i struggle with 1!!

     
    Old 11-23-2007, 03:10 PM   #18
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    Yoss.... God bless ya Brotha - with the monkey on your back, and the Meth....to do what you're doing right now is no small achievement either. BY FAR. I gotta be honest with you.....the first couple days after I realized that my doc had split, I was horrified. You see, I'm truly no dummy - and have been thru this before....I knew it was only a matter of time until the w/d's started - annd then the pain would be coming close behind. Well....on the second day, I almost - and I mean really almost - took the trip to a nearby city for the junk. I was SO close....as close a being in the truck with the motor running, and then I saw something that snapped me out of it - and HARD. I looked in the rear-view, and saw my kids all sitting there (the whole crew) and I thought to myself, "what kind of as**le are you running for that crap with your kids in the car" So I shut down the engine, and went back inside, scared to death as to what was gonna happen next. And to be completely honest, I'm still scared. You see, I really AM raising these kids alone....no wife, no g/f, no help at all. Besides the fact I still continue to work in between.... It wouldn't be so bad if all of the kids were older, but they're not - have babies as well. I have them kinda scattered.... 16, 15, 10, 9, 3, and 2. It's TOUGH my friends.....real tough. I wouldnt change it for anything though....I just wish I could get some relief from this damn pain. Everything seemed so easy when I was on the Oxy's....as much as I hated that drug, it truly DID make the pain slow down a little.... And yes, I do have legit pain/injuries, and it'd be realllllllly easy to find another PM doc and get back on the stuff....but I'm wondering why not try to leave it behind. (Actually, if you've been following, you'll know that it's NOT gonna be easy getting another PM, because of this one office closure, but if I bided my time I would get one for sure.)
    Anyway, this post has become long enough.....
    As always, hope everyone is hanging in - be well.
    tat*

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 01:49 AM   #19
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    ? mate change that handle of yours to superman! you are one strong guy - your story is tough man! 6 kids! Sub W/Ds! Chronic Pain! - all this and you are doing it ALONE!!! & you still have the time to give helpful advice to everyone who asks & support for those who need it! - this i feel deserves a separate thread -just for you - apologies if you've just read the other thread 1st and thought "***!" what can i say im a "spammer" so check out the thread people "Hats Off To tat2duser!" - (unless you are reading this at 9:50 GMT - as i aint started writing it yet!) go now, read post and be merry!

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 06:26 AM   #20
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    As for me - its day 12. And i think i reached a couple of milestones today.

    i went out for a drive earlier & visited a place i consider to be of "outstanding natural beauty" - it also happens to be a place where me and my best friend used to park up and smoke H in the car. Going there straight was a bit weird but in a way it was a cleansing experience - igot out of the car (for a change!) and sat and admired the view while the wind and rain pelted down on me. After 5minutes my body said it was too cold and i should get back in the car and drive home. On the drive home - something kind of just clicked into place and when i got home i went to the kitchen cupboard and took down a bottle of methadone linctus (we brits just love that sugar - its why we have such unique teeth!!) i have kept this bottle (80-100ml) since i quit - i wasnt stupid enough to throw it away but i was also stupid enough to keep it handy?!! i took the lid off and watched the green liquid dissapear down the sink without any feel of panic or loss. The monkey had been telling me that i should keep it handy and maybe have just one little blow out soon - for old times sake, seeing as me an him have been such good friends for so long. Im sure if you listened real carefully - you could just make out the sound of him screaming as i washed the linctus down the sink with water (to stop me licking it up at a later date!)

    And as a farewell gesture i put on "this monkeys gone to heaven" by the pixies - and i jigged around the room like a monkey free man for 2:56 seconds.

    im not fooloish enough to think he's gone for good - i know i'll hear his voice again - but next time IM GONNA BE READY FOR HIM!!!!

    loool if im rambling just tell me to shut up - i WONT be offended.

    hope you are all doing well fighting the good fight.

    keep on keepin on

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 09:30 AM   #21
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    And you Yoss....

    You.

    Rambling? LOL!!! Have you seen my post over there>>>> yet??

    Or was it over there

     
    Old 11-24-2007, 09:51 AM   #22
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    I think we have grown immensely....together.)


    Wowsers! Those words just sum up so completely about how I feel about the board membership.

    "Growing immensley... together."

    If this board could have a motto, this is what I would cast my vote on.

    reach

     
    Old 11-26-2007, 12:50 AM   #23
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    Day 14 without anthing (Except some paracetamol for a hangover yesterday!)

    Feeling not too bad physically, im still surprised at how much annoyance my legs are giving me - they seem to want to "riverdance" every night when i want to go to sleep? so this causes a poor/disturbed nights sleep (tho i must get at least 5hrs).
    Another weird thing is 'sneezing'!? (unfortunatley i am one of thoses people who cant sneeze properly - i kind of make a sqeaking noise as the sneeze backfires into my skull) i seem to get these uncontrollable bouts/fits of sneezes - i know a runny nose & sneezes are common during CT - but this is 2 weeks after my last dose?? - not a life threatener - i know (its more of an observation than a complaint/moan).
    Its weird - sometimes i feel like im fully recovered then a few hours later i feel like ive been trampled by a herd of bison!?

    Anyway - mentally! Top o the world! (which as you all know is a large part of the fight) - so much so that im actually gonna go to work tommorrow ! (the bank is looking kind of empty at the mo!) YAY

    I hope y'all are doing well?! (as i know you will be) as we seem to be growing immensley together (nice1 tat mate )

    so hang in there peeps

    and more importantly........

    KEEP ON KEEPIN ON!

    Yoss22

     
    Old 11-26-2007, 01:05 AM   #24
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    Wink Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    hiya yoss, well done you! Your'e doing brilliantly, and to use your own words, keep on keepin on...he he he x

     
    Old 11-26-2007, 02:04 AM   #25
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    cheers for the support kapp - good to see anther "brit" on the board, hope you are well?

     
    Old 11-26-2007, 08:45 AM   #26
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    LOL... The Brittish are coming, the Brittish are coming....

    Thats all that went thru my mind as I read your last one my Brother.

    We're kind of/sort of neighbors you see....I myself am from northern Europe in a roundabout kinda way. Ireland - County Cork - so now I am hearing "it's a small world after all" in my head. <sigh> Just a tad of humor for a somewhat crappy start of a day for me. But you know what? An I MEAN THIS from the bottom of my soul - but just an hour or so on here - on these boards - has made me feel 110% better.

    Honest.

    So thank you Yoss....thank you ALL. For being here, for being together, for teaching and growing and learning together.

    This place rocks, it really does.

    And Yoss.... Brother I am SOOOOOOO happy for you....happy for the fact that you're feeling great mentally. Cuz like you said, it's half the battle. Actually, it's MOST of the battle.

    Hang in there brother....you're doing pretty damn awesome.

    And you know what also....??? At least NOW with all the sneezes you can use those Kleenex for the right reason....just don't pick up the sock by mistake. :-O

    tat*

     
    Old 11-26-2007, 12:57 PM   #27
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    YOSS!!

    And hello to our new peeps Kapp and Tat.. I've been on vacation for a while. The only time I really get on here is at work he he. I'm very very glad to hear that you're doing well Yoss. I've read up on all of your posts and they have really inspired me. To pour out the green monkey was awesome. As Tat said, that takes some strength. And Tat....6 kids, raising by yourself.. well there's nothing more I could say to that to make it any more awesome. Most Dads would just have kept the engine running. That you didn't says more about you than you know. It's funny how when you look into your child's eyes and see a reflection of your own......it does something to you. Man, I know my boys are my heart. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them, so whether I beat this or not is not an option. I MUST. It's been sort of hard to taper. I don't know if it's in my head or if it's real, but for some reason it's just hard! I said I was going to crack down today, and all I've had so far is 4 mgs. So If I can just take 2 later I'll be cool. Without this board I don't know what I would do sometimes. So thanks guys for listening.. Even half way accross the world.

    B

     
    Old 11-26-2007, 01:46 PM   #28
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    as ever g8rgrl your words of support are a massive comfort & help a great deal. tapering down is a pain in the *** - i know, but even if you do just take 2ml later THATS something - baby steps all the way. im glad you have your boys as a motivator - as you said "There's nothing I wouldn't do for them" you're already doing the greatest most difficult thing you can for them, you're kicking the habbit! - "so whether I beat this or not is not an option. I MUST." now thats confidence! you can do it. the taper is a mix of is it in my head or do i really feel bad! as i said - just do what you feel comfortable with.

    keep posting - as im crossing my fingers for you everyday! - on the colder side of the world - at least you got the weather with you! (as well as the g8trs! )

    keep on keepin on

    yoss22

    Last edited by Yossarian22; 11-26-2007 at 01:46 PM.

     
    Old 11-26-2007, 05:38 PM   #29
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    Hey.... WHO had warm weather? Not us here in PA...by far.

    We had 12+ inches of the white crap just 5 days ago..... LOL.

    Maybe I NEED to head to a warmer climate.... God knows the cold brings da pain on a lil bit heavier.

    tat*

    Last edited by tat2duser; 11-26-2007 at 05:39 PM.

     
    Old 11-27-2007, 11:38 AM   #30
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    Re: meth user 3rd day of detox

    It's me.. I'm in sunny Fla.. Right now it's about 75 degrees outside and beautiful.. we really don't have a winter here. I've seen snow like once. I would like to travel abroad and go to Ireland.. I've always wanted to go there. And yes, I am a huge gator fan.. lol. Bleed orange and blue. Have season tickets.. the whole shebang. And like half of the southeastern conference, in love with Tim Tebow.. Anyway, sometimes it's nice to get off topic. Me and my mother had it out last night. I've felt guilty leaving my boys even for 1 night a week to go to a meeting, and she rubbed salt in the wound last night by saying that they need me right now.. Oh I was so angry! Because that's where my guilt lies is not being with them when I'm at a meeting. But I realized she can have her opinion because I have to take some time out for me.. if this was like to get a weekly pedicure or something, I can understand. But this is important. Other than work and meetings maybe twice a week, I'm at home with the boys!! My husband is a whole other board. Anyway, hope everyone is doing well, and keep me in reality Yoss.. It's great to hear from you.

    g8trgrl

     
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