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Reach, need advise

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Old 12-17-2007, 10:49 AM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: N.H.
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lnhguy HB User
Reach, need advise

Hi reach. Hope all is well with you. Well here it is you know my situation and I need some advise. For weeks i've been saying that I have had enough of the back pain but I have just been pushing through and dealing with it. My doc said that if it gets too much for me that I need to find another doc or go to the ER. Well I've had too much. I went to the ER today and they gave me something for a couple of days. The problem is that I said to my wife a couple of weeks ago that I was going to the walk in clinic and she said that apperantly I've made my decision and our marriage is over come spring. She told me that I had till spring to get my ****** together(a couple of months ago). I HAVE NOT MADE THAT DECISION. I am trying to balance the both. When she gets home I have to tell her I went to the er and she is prob gonna freak. I do not want our marriage to end but I do need some help for my back. Any advise would help.

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Old 12-17-2007, 12:38 PM   #2
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Re: Reach, need advise

Hi Inhguy

In a tough spot here between a rock and a hard place. I know the meds were relief of bad back pain, but were not working that well and getting out of hand and doctor didn't want to prescribe anymore.... did I get it straight?

Is your wife angry that you would use meds again? Is surgery a possibility? Exactly what is wife angry about?

It is difficult to make a call on this. In my circumstances, I know that I have probably faced the maximum pain levels and that I can deal with them at the level because I have made a huge lifestyle change. Not working anymore, I can rest when the pain begins and pretty much ward the worst of it off or take the needed time to stay off the leg a few times a day. Today, I had a very difficult discussion with one of my doctors ( well, hard for me anyway). I am going to file for disability. The doctor is fine with it and said I have been fighting it for a long time and that if my body can no longer keep up with what my mind wants to do, then I have to think about quality of life. It has been very hard for me to make this decision as money is really tight and disability isn't going to be much as I never made much money at all. The bottom line for me at this point is to accept what is and continue to move on in my life regardless.

Taking the meds is really sometimes a necessity. However, if it is going to be lifelong, then it must be faced that they will again lose effectiveness eventually and square one will be in the lap again. What alternatives does the doctor suggest? What alternatives does Wife suggest? Whay alternatives seem most practical for you in your judgement?

Truthfully, I am not sure why Wife has no sympathy for the predicamnent. I may well be missing something in the whole picture. If there were not ongoing back issues, I would suggest waiting longer to make a call on the pain. Pain flairs as we withdraw before it comes to a set level after withdrawal is truly complete. However, because I know there are still bulging discs for you, I am stymied here as to a solid suggestion. Has wife gone to, or will she go, to a medical evaluation with you? Perhaps if she could participate in the evaluation and decisions concerning this, she would feel more a part of the loop and not just the receiving end of the commotion.

Come back and share some more and let's get some other folks opinions in here. We share more, maybe something concrete will surface as a soild suggestion.

I know you don't want the marriage to end. Of course not! I think outside of medical intervention here, some marriage counseling is in order. What do you think?

I will be thinking of you.


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