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    Old 01-18-2008, 04:26 PM   #16
    cram315
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Joan, happy to read your son is still doing well and I think the fact that you stood strong was a big part of the reason why your son does so well.

    Lesson learned, you can be supportive without being a doormat.

    Jules when my son first went into the psych hospital I realized the son I had been "missing" so much didn't exist anymore, all I had was a lying addict. A stranger. Thankfully he is kinder these days and resembles my son.

    Itisme. As Jules brings up, you have to get to the underlying cause of the addiction before you can treat the addiction. Our son sucked the life out of us too, I went nowhere I was so down. I hated him and the minute I heard his voice I got sick to my stomach. Then by accident and heartache we found out he has bipolar. I tell you I never though life would return to any kind of normalcy but it is almost there.

    You need to get help for yourself. Do you think you are letting your son psycologically abuse you now? You have to find out why you allow yourself to be treated by your son like you don't count. Then you can let go. (Letting go isn't cutting off. You have to learn how to let go. Letting go is letting him fall and you not always being there to pick him up). You have to learn to love yourself. I think you don't know how to. Sounds like you have had a tough go.

    You say your son isn't a nice person, is this just since the drugs? Because they can be mean, emotionally battering, controlling, evil....but don't believe any put downs he flings at you, he is trying to hurt you, sadly, on purpose, b/c he is hurting. Remember that, if you show it doesn't hurt, he will stop, he is an overgrown spoiled disrespectful child, treat the insults as such.

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    Old 01-19-2008, 10:29 AM   #17
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Cram315

    Everything you say is so true and you explained it very well. I just talked to my son on the phone and he is doing really well. He starts a new job next week, a better one then he had. He's moving up in the world. But there was a time where I hated him for what he was doing to me and the family and himself. There were no walls left in his room. He body slammed most of them. My ex-husband just paid to have the room redone. There are still other holes in the kitchen and hallway that need fixing. But now he is the son I used to know. Very loving and polite. So there is always hope. I never gave up on him. I just didn't give him money or housing anymore. Once he realized he was on his own, things changed. He didn't like being out there all alone, no money, no food.

    Cram 315 is so right. You can let go but you can still love them. Al Anon helped me a lot and my therapist.

     
    Old 01-19-2008, 12:59 PM   #18
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    NarAnon helped us and removing him out of our house really helped.

     
    Old 01-20-2008, 10:11 AM   #19
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by isitme View Post
    Do parents of hardened drug addicts detach from their child emotionally, to stop themelves the pain and grief that they suffer when they are in their childrens' lives?

    And to those who have had to take the above action with their child - Do you feel like it is an ever ending grieving process that you are going though?
    You come to terms with them as they are, accept it is their choice etc, but then when you hear about your child from any source, all the pain returns again as though you've just be told they've died and it comes as such a shock, (again and again and again........)
    Thanks for taking the time to read.
    I'm on this site for the first time today, and this is the first thread I picked to read through. Why? It seemed to fit my situation, my dilemna, my concern for our family and our son. I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions for the last 9 years with my son. I have done the 'what if's' to the point of exhaustion. I have done everything I could think of to stand in my son's ways of self destruction. I have loved him unconditionally while voicing my disapproval of his actions. I have felt such despair because our situations do feel like a death of a loved one. I have been in the depths of depression, physically sick for 2 years, and I have rallied so many times when I thought I was completely done with him, that no one could ever accuse me of giving up on my son. Has it helped? I don't know the answer, believe it or not.

    My 24 yo son has used alcohol and drugs since he was 15 yo. He has an addiction problem, but doesn't see it. He never has really. There have been no shortage of interventions for him and for us....always at our initiative, not his. That's a major reason why treatment doesn't work for him. He doesn't need it, doesn't want it. He seemed to do well at some point in time in the various treatments, but always ended up using again....because "it's not as big a deal as you make it out to be". The old 'it's not me, it's you situation; I don't have a problem, you do; why don't you just let me live my own life?; you make me want to drink when you talk like this (meaning...me saying your behavior is unacceptable). Lately, he has taken to saying, "Thanks a lot mom for your support", when I confront him and his actions and tell him I disaprove. We have never given him any reason to think we don't love him, and have gone way beyond what most people would do in pouring blood, sweat and tears into helping him to help himself.

    He was arrested 3 x's as a minor, and once recently as an adult. My husband had him arrested when he trashed his room in a drunken, angry rage. I thought that he would be finally out of the house for good, but no. My husband invitedhim back in 4 days later. He has never been punished by serving any time. He is not phased by the consequenses of his actions because frankly, they are not so bad. He gets to live in our house, eat our food, sleep when he wants, work when he feels like, not work when he feels like it, etc.

    He as been been thrown out of the house countless times since he was 15, but always manages to get us to let him come home. I always told our son that he broke the rules he agreed to to be able to llive with us, so he has chosen not to live with us.....as opposed to 'we are kicking you out. Early on, we both would let him come back..because we hoped things would be different for him and us. It never lasted long enough, and the lying and manipulations just got more frequent.

    More recently, I don't want him living here anymore because it is slowly destroying me and the family relationship. I've been trying to fight for my sanity for a few years now. It's not easy when both parents aren't on the same page. My husband can not bring himself to leave his son on his own and to his own devices for any period of time that MIGHT make a difference. He agrees that we are enabling his behavior, but that doesn't make it any easier to put him out and keep him out. I am the emotional one and I don't think that's a bad thing. That is me. My husband can bottle up his feelings and move one with life, working, sleeping like a baby, etc. I have not been able to do that, so I've been slowly dying over time. Always waiting for the other shoe to fall...why? Because history tells me the other shoe always falls. It's just a matter of time.

    I am so sorry for this long post. I didn't intend for it to be so long. I guess, I'm just still hoping that my son will someday realize that he is ruining his life and decide for himself that he needs to change things. There, I've said it. The love never dies, the hope never dies.... but the respect certainly does.

    Why is he medicating himself with drugs and alcohol? Personally, I think it's unresolved issues related to having severe learning disabilities and the struggles that took place for him and us. I also think he suffered from depression and was never diagnosed. He has been resistive to any treatment where he is asked to be introspective about his life which hasn't helped either. My husbad wants to invest more money in treatment for him, and I have said no. Enough is enough. If he admitted he had problems and wanted to help himself that would be one thing, but that's not the case. I am not going to borrow any more money to invest in treatment that my son doesn't need or want. I am done with putting out any more of my energy for my son. It is long overdue for him to start putting out the energy for his own life. The hard part is worrying if he ever will. I think about the kind of life that my son could have had, or could be building for himself if he would address his problems. That's a huge loss for me to bear. I have always done the best for my children, so this wasn't the scenerio I expected. Utter sadness!

    I'd like for others to respond to me. I welcome a dialogue with others who know what I am talking about. I have a few friends who have been supportive, but unless you are in my shoes, it's never going to be perfectly clear what the stuggle and sadness is like for us.
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    Old 01-20-2008, 12:44 PM   #20
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Hi karen, wow i can relate to alot of what you are saying.. my son is 21 and an addict along with possible bipolarism,definitly depression and tons of anxiety..Same crap, breaking things in the house being agggresive,angry the whole 9 yards.. it was 100x worse last year tho. he was out of state in a rehab for 30 days the month of march..came home and was clean for months had a few slips and now is in an outpatient rehab 3 days aweek along with n.a meetings and therapy and medication..we never did throw him out but this time he knows that if he messes up again, than hes out..the difference here in our family is that my husband is finally on the same page as me..he was in denial for a long time..hes not anymore, i think he was lied to a little too much..finally he saw what we were dealing with here. he saw it for what it really is..my son is an addict and we know it and he knows it..he definitly wants the behaviour to stop, he sees what it has done to his life and his family..i truly believe he cant help himself, hes constanly battling demons. but hes clean now for a few weeks and following the program and the rules..he works 3 days a week and does the program the other 3 days. he goes to a meeting a day...I do not want to sound like its perfect, it is so far from it..i wait everyday for the other shoe to drop too, he has sucked years out of me and my husband we are battered and so worn out from this mess. we wont even leave him alone in the house for too long..isnt that crazy hes a 21 yr old man..but hes very immature and we were told that the drugs did that to him...hes like a teenager again..he has a tough time dealing with lifes stresses . everything is huge and a disaster for him..and he blames us for most of it.. Can you tell us a little more? was he in any kind of program rehab? will he admit to a problem?

     
    Old 01-20-2008, 01:39 PM   #21
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    yes I can relate
    I detached myself from my son, because of his drug problems and he thinks
    he is ok and lives in denial. He used to be a good dad, and at that time I
    co-signed a loan on a home for him and the boys to live. After that he got
    involved with the wrong crowd, got into drugs, and I eventually lost the
    home I was trying to hang onto so they at least had a roof over their heads.
    That didn't work, it destroyed my credit and yet I still tried to help him when
    he would decide he was gonna get cleaned up and keep a job. He usually
    lasted 3 months and would end up getting fired. I kicked him out over and
    over again. The last time was 2 years ago, his boys went to live with their
    grandpa (my ex) he got custody and my son became homeless. He shows
    up from time to time so everyone knows he's still alive but he never calls me.
    He blames me for him living homeless on the streets. Yes, I can definately
    relate. I love him still but can not forgive him for the live he chose and the
    grief he caused me and the financial loss he has caused me. Enough said.

     
    Old 01-20-2008, 04:26 PM   #22
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Karen, 9 years is too long. Think of these posts as a group chat and I am the pain in the butt in the chair to your right Let me introduce myself, I have an addict son who also suffers from bp. It has been two years this past December that he told me he was an addict and this May will make three years our lives exploded and his went down hill. Currently he is doing better but who knows for how long.

    Forget your son is an addict, what he is doing all kids of all ages do. It is called divide and conquer the parents and get your way.

    You can't stop the 9 year cycle until you and your husband come to a meeting of the minds. You need your husbands support.

    Kids come first when they are little but your son is grown. Now your relationship should come first and the kid should come second.

    As for your son using words to hurt you or manipulate you, remember this. Your son is smart but not smarter than you. Take control. Picture you talking to him, lets say you say to him you are disgusted with his behavior when he comes in drunk. You put that in his lap but instead of him owning his problem he changes the subject, blames you and tosses blame into your lap. You didn't even realize he changed subjects. He changed it from him to you. He won because now you are on the defense. Don't let him do that to you. don't let him change the subject.


    cram315

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 01:41 AM   #23
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Phoenix1 View Post
    Isitme,

    Herein lies the question if your son even knows himself, for he may not even be aware as to the "why" of it all.

    Phoenix
    I'm sure he's masking the pain of the past with drugs, as I did with drink (and I was never aware as to the 'why' that I did it). Confusion reigned with the x, now it continues with the son of. I know he has to see that for himself.

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 02:10 AM   #24
    isitme
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Yossarian22 View Post
    hi again

    i just wanted to say - me and my mother went through psychological hell for over 10 years also - when heroin came along, it took it all away. i didnt even know thats why i was taking it. it has taken me a long time to understand my motivations and my drug use and how it has stemmed from childhood trauma. during my time - i have done some pretty 'bad' things - shameful things that im not proud of. it took a lot of digging before i hit rock bottom - and then i decided to dig a little more just to see how deep the ****** could get.


    If he is doing it because it is because of childhood trauma, then I can understand. Can you remember when going cold turkey, if you were very depressed? Maybe that could be the turning point for him?

    the thing is - this wasnt the real me. and that isnt your real son. its hard to understand - and hard for me to explain - but he's that out of control without realising it - he just doesnt function like a 'normal' 'straight' person. so take hope in the fact that you son is still 'in there' somewhere, its just that he's buried deep inside one of the most addictive poisons known to man.

    The thing is, my real son, even prior to drugs was great at lying, manipulating, using others for his own ends. A clone of his father. And it just doesn't fit in that when I finally remove the abuse from him, he then goes back for more. Manipulated he claims.........possibly.

    The fact that you are doing CBT (assesment? are you training to be a practioner?) - i know its tough - but try and use your skills and knowledge of this to help yourself - breaking the cycle of ANT's etc. you most importantly must look after yourself - you come first (its tough to go against parental instinct i know) - but what good are you to anyone if this all gets to the point where you just lie down and give up. you have forgotten how much YOU matter. - your son has to be left to his own devices (difficult again - i know - easy for me to say - but true) you nor anyone else in the world can make him better/make him quit - he must do this on his own - and when he's ready -he's gonna need you then. So think about yourself first - you're worth it.

    I've only done CBT work on line. I try to keep things in perspective. Cycle of ANT - sorry I don't kno what ANT is. I was assessed hoping to have emdr. It now seems it isn't the treatment I need or would benefit from. I know I can't fix him, but I thought this would stop the bad reaction I have to him, (he triggers my past and sends me spiralling into depression/despair/guilt/hopelessness. But when I don't have contact ith him, I'm normal. I thought it was ptsd, becaue my mood is not consistantly low. My evokes it!! There's such a big wall there and he causes me to crumble when I'm his company/ hear him or hear from him. I don't seem abe to rid myself of the perception I have of him, ie, just like his dad!!!!

    i hope your assesment goes well - and you're in my thoughts - i hope things start to look up for you soon.

    yoss

    "In sleep a king, but, waking, no such matter”

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 02:30 AM   #25
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by cram315 View Post
    Lesson learned, you can be supportive without being a doormat.


    Itisme. As Jules brings up, you have to get to the underlying cause of the addiction before you can treat the addiction. Our son sucked the life out of us too, I went nowhere I was so down. I hated him and the minute I heard his voice I got sick to my stomach. Then by accident and heartache we found out he has bipolar. I tell you I never though life would return to any kind of normalcy but it is almost there.

    You need to get help for yourself. Do you think you are letting your son psycologically abuse you now? You have to find out why you allow yourself to be treated by your son like you don't count. Then you can let go. (Letting go isn't cutting off. You have to learn how to let go. Letting go is letting him fall and you not always being there to pick him up). You have to learn to love yourself. I think you don't know how to. Sounds like you have had a tough go.

    You say your son isn't a nice person, is this just since the drugs? Because they can be mean, emotionally battering, controlling, evil....but don't believe any put downs he flings at you, he is trying to hurt you, sadly, on purpose, b/c he is hurting. Remember that, if you show it doesn't hurt, he will stop, he is an overgrown spoiled disrespectful child, treat the insults as such.

    cram315
    I could easily go along with 'his past has made him into who/why he is as he is'. But the flip side is- he appears to me to have a personalty disorder too, drugs aside and it is that element which causes a severe emotional reaction to my whole being. My past, (with my x) is precisely that - my past, but the unfortunate fact is my past is being replayed in my present - by my son. So many likenesses it's scary, so I have this wall of iron that won't let him in.......and that means I've not detached, I've avoided like the plague. That is the stumbing block. I can't see a way past that apart from avoiding completely. I'm past the emotionally hurt stage. I now see that it was just me taking things far too personally. I've changed my perspectie on that one.

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 02:54 AM   #26
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KarenZee View Post

    I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions for the last 9 years with my son. I have done the 'what if's' to the point of exhaustion. I have done everything I could think of to stand in my son's ways of self destruction. I have loved him unconditionally while voicing my disapproval of his actions. I have felt such despair because our situations do feel like a death of a loved one. I have been in the depths of depression,
    My 24 yo son has used alcohol and drugs since he was 15 yo. He has an addiction problem, but doesn't see it. He never has really. There have been no shortage of interventions for him and for us....always at our initiative, not his. That's a major reason why treatment doesn't work for him. He doesn't need it, doesn't want it. He seemed to do well at some point in time in the various treatments, but always ended up using again....because "it's not as big a deal as you make it out to be". The old 'it's not me, it's you situation; I don't have a problem, you do; why don't you just let me live my own life?; you make me want to drink when you talk like this (meaning...me saying your behavior is unacceptable). Lately, he has taken to saying, "Thanks a lot mom for your support", when I confront him and his actions and tell him I disaprove. We have never given him any reason to think we don't love him, and have gone way beyond what most people would do in pouring blood, sweat and tears into helping him to help himself.

    He was arrested 3 x's as a minor, and once recently as an adult. My husband had him arrested when he trashed his room in a drunken, angry rage. I thought that he would be finally out of the house for good, but no. My husband invitedhim back in 4 days later. He has never been punished by serving any time. He is not phased by the consequenses of his actions because frankly, they are not so bad. He gets to live in our house, eat our food, sleep when he wants, work when he feels like, not work when he feels like it, etc.

    He as been been thrown out of the house countless times since he was 15, but always manages to get us to let him come home. I always told our son that he broke the rules he agreed to to be able to llive with us, so he has chosen not to live with us.....as opposed to 'we are kicking you out. Early on, we both would let him come back..because we hoped things would be different for him and us. It never lasted long enough, and the lying and manipulations just got more frequent.

    More recently, I don't want him living here anymore because it is slowly destroying me and the family relationship. I've been trying to fight for my sanity for a few years now. It's not easy when both parents aren't on the same page. My husband can not bring himself to leave his son on his own and to his own devices for any period of time that MIGHT make a difference. He agrees that we are enabling his behavior, but that doesn't make it any easier to put him out and keep him out. I am the emotional one and I don't think that's a bad thing. That is me. My husband can bottle up his feelings and move one with life, working, sleeping like a baby, etc. I have not been able to do that, so I've been slowly dying over time. Always waiting for the other shoe to fall...why? Because history tells me the other shoe always falls. It's just a matter of time.

    I am so sorry for this long post. I didn't intend for it to be so long. I guess, I'm just still hoping that my son will someday realize that he is ruining his life and decide for himself that he needs to change things. There, I've said it. The love never dies, the hope never dies.... but the respect certainly does.

    Why is he medicating himself with drugs and alcohol? Personally, I think it's unresolved issues related to having severe learning disabilities and the struggles that took place for him and us. I also think he suffered from depression and was never diagnosed. He has been resistive to any treatment where he is asked to be introspective about his life which hasn't helped either. My husbad wants to invest more money in treatment for him, and I have said no. Enough is enough. If he admitted he had problems and wanted to help himself that would be one thing, but that's not the case. I am not going to borrow any more money to invest in treatment that my son doesn't need or want. I am done with putting out any more of my energy for my son. It is long overdue for him to start putting out the energy for his own life. The hard part is worrying if he ever will. I think about the kind of life that my son could have had, or could be building for himself if he would address his problems. That's a huge loss for me to bear. I have always done the best for my children, so this wasn't the scenerio I expected. Utter sadness!

    I'd like for others to respond to me. I welcome a dialogue with others who know what I am talking about. I have a few friends who have been supportive, but unless you are in my shoes, it's never going to be perfectly clear what the stuggle and sadness is like for us.
    Oh, I can relate........
    I have also been on the roller coaster ride since he was 15. He is a convincing liar and blamed me and the world for his downfall. He CAN NOT learn from his mistakes. It's interesting that you say he has 'severe learning disability'. Has he been diagnosed with that? My son is constantly in self destruct mode. My son will allow all halp given to him, but will not seek help himself. He sees no problem with being in debt, getting evicted, shop lifting, doing drugs, being homeless, going to court........prison is his next stop. Once there, at least I'll know they'll be monitoring his diabetes. Hopefully then, he will also have a complete psychological test and help may be offered. I would never allow him to live here. He is an adult, also 24, but it isn't a pretty picture to see a child with nothing, not even self respect, when you had such high hopes for them. In that sense, they have died. As you've said, utter sadness. I believe you do have to have walked in these shoes to fully appeciate what we are going though. Talking here helps........... Talking one to one with a therapist - I've never done it, it may help but I don't think they'd 'get it'.
    I'm glad I started the post - sad as it is, it's good to know others are also going though the same pain. I find it theraputic, both reading and writing about it.

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 03:16 AM   #27
    isitme
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by alice52 View Post
    yes I can relate
    I detached myself from my son, because of his drug problems and he thinks
    he is ok and lives in denial. He used to be a good dad, and at that time I
    co-signed a loan on a home for him and the boys to live. After that he got
    involved with the wrong crowd, got into drugs, and I eventually lost the
    home I was trying to hang onto so they at least had a roof over their heads.
    That didn't work, it destroyed my credit and yet I still tried to help him when
    he would decide he was gonna get cleaned up and keep a job. He usually
    lasted 3 months and would end up getting fired. I kicked him out over and
    over again. The last time was 2 years ago, his boys went to live with their
    grandpa (my ex) he got custody and my son became homeless. He shows
    up from time to time so everyone knows he's still alive but he never calls me.
    He blames me for him living homeless on the streets. Yes, I can definately
    relate. I love him still but can not forgive him for the live he chose and the
    grief he caused me and the financial loss he has caused me. Enough said.
    I would find comfort in the fact that he was a good dad. My son isn't. He doesn't see him (and I've never met my first grandchild, so that's another grieving process I've had to go though). I'm sorry you bank balance had to suffer because of your sons actions. I can imagine your anger. I was angry for a long, long time with every wrong choice he made and he's made thousands. I'd have thought homelessness would have made him think/change...........he didn't care, there is always someone (other than ourselves) to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong for them. I don't/won't enable him. And knowing that someone somewhere always is there to help him decreases the anxiety I have at times. Half of me is glad if someone mentions him because that's the only way I get to know he is still alive. I've given up phoning him, he changes his number so much though pawning his phone for money for drugs. I've forgiven him for all the grief he caused/causes me too because I honestly think he can not help himself and create what I consider a normal life, abiding by rules. And that is where the sadness comes in.
    I still love him

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 05:33 AM   #28
    Christine73
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Hello everyone, reading the posts on here brought tears to my eyes.

    I have been going through exactly the same thing with my son for the past 3 years.

    He had a rough childhood, and I was partly to blame, although I was in need of help myself for various issues I had when he was younger.

    He is now 23 and has been doing speed, cocaine, in fact everything except heroin for the past 3 years. I am also pretty sure he is bipolar. He crashed very badly 2 years ago and ended up in a hospital for 6 months and they diagnosed him with BP disorder. He was given medication but the side effects were pretty bad and so he stopped it all and discharged himself and soon picked up on using drugs again.

    He doesn't live at home but there is always someone to pick up the pieces when things get bad. He will be losing his flat in April, but a 'friend' of his will be taking him in.

    He was such a lovely good mannered and loving child and has now turned into a raging monster I think he is in a manic phase at the moment, there is no getting through to him. If i call him he screams that he doesn't need help, not from anyone. I have told him that when he decides he does, I will help him without making accusations, although he is not to call for money.

    I am dying bit by bit, the guilt is killing me and sometimes I don't think I can stand this anymore.

    He got into a bad fight a few weeks ago, his face was all smashed up ...I am waiting for the call that will tell me he has seriously hurt someone else or himself...or worse

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 05:55 AM   #29
    isitme
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    Hi Christine,
    I know what you mean, the guilt killing you slowly. And now I've read all the posts I see some others are worse of than me, as well as some better of than me. Whatever the problems are child does or doesn't have - we wouldn't swop them. We just want to stop the pain their actions have on us and wish it wasn't how it is. Bipolar must be hard to live with, especially if he doesn't medicate for it. And my son, well, I don't think he can be 'fixed' personality wise even if he came off the heroin. (Who knows what damage drugs has done to him over the years). I go through phases of expecting the phone to ring, police at the door. I don't see it as unnecessary anxiety. It is a fact - a fact that many other parents have had to face and there is nothing we can do. Don't blame yourself on this one.

     
    Old 01-21-2008, 06:18 AM   #30
    Christine73
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    Re: 'Parents of' - can anyone relate?

    isitme, thanks for the reply.

    I do have enough reasons for my guilt...my relationship with his father was not good, he always cheated on me and he drank too much. I was badly depressed, the place was a mess and I just couldn't cope with my son..sometimes I even doubted I loved him. I have no doubt that he was emotionally neglected growing up..and whilst I had a lot of problems, there was no excuse for not leaving my husband and getting help...but I didn't do it, and my son is now paying the price

    You know, heroin is an awful drug, the heroin personality is one of a liar, cheat and cold and callous to go with it...the drug is so bad that an addict would do anything, anything at all to get hold of it. So, this really is not your son, he does not know what he is doing. I hope for you and him that he can manage to one day see what this is doing to him and his family...if he manages to stop taking it, I am sure you will be amazed by the person underneath.

    There is not much we can do is there? Only wait and hope.

     
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