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Old 01-26-2008, 06:25 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 21
berlingirl HB User

I am a 21 year old female. I have been supporting myself and living on my own since i was 16, thus I have had access to alcohol at an early age. in the last year I have become an alcoholic. It effected my job, my driving, my family and my body. I almost got fired because my boss suspected i came in to work drunk [which i was]. instead of firing me, i played it off like i was sober and he just sent me home for the day. I got in a car accident after i was drinking. I was speading and because my reactions were delayed and i failed to prevent and avoidable accident. My car is now non-drivable. I get emotional, anxious, and angry which is affecting the decisions i make in life and the relationship with my parents and fiance. I now have stretch marks from 1. the weight i gained from drinking and 2. being dehydrated all time. I got to the point where i was drinking 2 1.5 liters of wine in a day. I started having heart palpations and dizzy spells. I quite cold turkey. I was sober for 1 month [alot for me]. Due to recent stress, i have started drinking again, now i remember how much i felt better after a glass [or 3 or 4] of wine or whiskey. I want to stop again, but i enjoy it to much... any advice from someone who has been through this?

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Old 01-26-2008, 06:57 PM   #2
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: usa
Posts: 836
mznell HB User


I congratulate you on recognizing at such a young age that you need to stop drinking. You have taken the most difficult step. Now you need to carry through with your decision.

Most people will tell you that the success rate for someone who quits "cold turkey" is practically zero. But I'm here to tell you that it is possible.

I started drinking in college and just continued on as a social drinker throughout my adulthood. I stopped for both my pregnancies, but then resumed drinking about 6 months after the babies were born. Then I just drinking drinking a little more and a little more. I usually drank wine so I never thought I did something that was causing harm to me or to anyone else. I'm sure I drove drunk plenty of times but I must have had an angel on my shoulder as I never got caught and I never had an accident.

Around when I turned 50 I realized I was drinking too much, way too much. Every day when I'd pour my first glass of wine, I'd think these thoughts, think I should quit, but I never did. My liver panels were starting to come back elevated and my doc would tell me to quit. So I'd not go back to see that doctor again.

Finally a couple years later, I tripped over a throw rug while attempting to step over one of our large dogs. I fell and hit my head on the corner of a speaker. It bled like crazy and my husband and 17-year old insisted that I go to the ER. Turned out I needed stitches. Turned out everyone in the ER but me realized I had been drinking. Something just snapped that night and I realized I didn't want to live this way any longer. And I never had another drink.

I never did anything dramatic like throw out all the booze in the house, or demand my husband stop drinking. I just regarded it as my problem and I never drank again. I was open about it with people we saw socially. When offered a drink I would just say "I don't drink any more" and then they would offer me whatever they had that was not alcoholic. Going to bars wasn't a problem...I'd just order sparkling water or tonic water.

I won't say that it didn't bother me at first when I'd go to a bar and couldn't order a drink. But I'd remind myself that I wanted to live a healthy life, wanted to be around to see my kids grow and become young adults, etc. and that this was all worth more than a glass of wine.

There are all kinds of ways of managing your sobriety. There are lots of resources you can check into online or at the library. Find what you think will work for you, and then go for it.

You need to find another substitute for alcohol in your life -- another way to manage your stress, anxiety, etc. I always remember the words of one of my doctors who said: "You know you have a problem when one drink is too much and 100 drinks are not enough." I think this may come out of AA but I don't know.

I know you think you feel better after one drink, but how do you feel after 6 or 7? How do you like those heart palpitations or maybe the feeling of nausea you feel the next morning after a big night of drinking?? I always wake up feeling good. I didn't actually realize how bad I was feeling on a regular basis until I sobered up!!

I'm sure others will chime in with some helpful information for you. I wish you well. You have your whole life in front of least you will if you start making some good decisions!!

Old 01-27-2008, 07:59 AM   #3
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SpinalMalady HB UserSpinalMalady HB User

Hi berlin:

I usually post on the Pain Management board. But I occassionally do read on here.

I'm not an alcoholic, and these days due to my prescribed med regime, I rarely if ever even drink. I did toast the New Year with a glass of Champagne!

But, the reason I'm compelled to post is to tell you the awful other side of the story. I am the sister of a guy who died at 33 from Chirossis (sp) of the liver. He went into 3 comas, before his 4th and fatal coma. His drink of choice?? BEER. Never touched the hard stuff!!! EVER!! He started drinking when he went off to Junior College, and hit the party scene.

The affect on our family (I'm the baby of 7) was devastating. I watched my dad, (who had a heart condition) have many nails be driven into his coffin, and he was sent to an early grave at 67, after burying his first born son.

However, all of that being said, the affects on family, friends, etc. MEAN NOTHING, if YOU don't CHOSE to DO THIS FOR YOU. My brother did the treatments more often for us, than for him. Trying to please us, etc.

The first step in any 12 step program, (and yes the entire family went thru a 12 step prog. and family counseling) is being able to admit you have a problem. You have arrived, this is where you are! (((berlin))) Embrace that. Now empower yourself.

AA does work, if you work the program. I have see the success of it personally, (I have a dear friend who is in AA as well right now) which is part of the reason I vist this board as well as the pain board, it's just that I usually lurk. She just hit her 9 month chip in AA. *clap* *tear* She was very near death, and one day, I'll come back and give you her story.

I would like to encourage you to go to AA. Get a sponsor. If you are not yet ready, or scared to do it "in your town" or "community" there are AA meetings that are offered on the WWW. Check out that option. Please don't become a statistic like my brother did. Alcohol DOES kill.

Best of luck to you. Continue to fight the good fight..... Blessings.

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Old 01-27-2008, 10:27 AM   #4
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: northampton
Posts: 15
Lewt HB User

i'd second going to a meeting, see if anyone has a simlar story to yours. i'm 27 and have been sober 18 months now. i couldnt have done it without working the steps. i hear alot of peopel say AA dont work. ive seen the same ammount of people go out again after no working it. if your ready to stop and you have had enough of feeling like you do then give it a go, put your all into it and you can recover from the state of mind and body your in now. good luck and god bless

Old 01-29-2008, 06:53 AM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Singapore
Posts: 1
rahim1987 HB User
Talking Re:

Actually ur mindset is stopping you from staying away from alcohol. When you face some stress due to work problem etc., ur mindset tells you that alcohol can make you feel better. However you would regret it after drinking it once again and you will think that since the effort you put in is kinda wasted, might as well you give up the thought of drinking alcohol. This is a cycle which is common among those people who initially tried to quit drinking.

I would advice that whenever u feel like drinking alcohol, try find a drink that you can enjoy over the taste other than alcohol. For my case, i would go to starbuck n buy an ice cold cream Cappuccino. I would slowly savour the taste of the drink that i bought and slowly, i would forget about drinking alcohol. It would slowly calm my stress and from there my mindset would think that alcohol is no the solution to reduce my stress. This worked for me and maybe it would work for u. However this is not limited to drinks. Maybe you can pamper yourself to other things that u enjoy doing. That will make ur mind to stay away from taking alohol at the time when u feel like drinking.

After quite a while when u never think about drinking alcohol, your mindset will change slowly over time. You would think of alcohol less frequently and might also forgotten how you could get addicted to it.

I hope this could help you in your journey to stop drinking

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