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    Old 01-29-2008, 12:23 PM   #1
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    Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    Hello to everyone here hope all of you are doing ok. I've never posted on any of these kind of websites before until now so here goes my story. I'm 23 now and I've been messing around with heroin since about 17 years old, from the age of 19 to right before I turned 21 is when I started using it every day and couldn't stop anymore so I had a horrible heroin addiction that lasted about 2 years of every day use, finally it was time to quit and I moved from new york to baltimore(I know, not the best choice right? its ok because I have never done heroin in baltimore and never will), next thing for me was getting off of heroin cold turkey in maryland, needless to say it was the worst time of my life but I did it, so now in the past few years I have taken pain killers like vicodin and percocet which I never took all the time and never even got addicted to, so finally I started messing around with heroin again here and there until I saw myself doing heroin one more time every day for a few months, this time I couldnt go through the hell again and I stopped taking heroin altogether and traded that for methadone, I'm not on the program so I get the methadone from a friend of mine who is on the program and just has a whole lot extra, here is my main problem right now..I have been getting a 120mg bottle of methadone about every 5 days because thats how long it lasts me, my dose is one full teaspoon a day and I feel great, I really dont know exactly how much I am taking but I believe its around 15-20mg a day, this has lasted about 2 and a half to 3 months now that I've been taking the methadone and when I don't have it I know I definitely don't feel good at all, my questions are 2.5 - 3 months long enough to really get addicted to methadone with the amount I've been taking daily? am I really addicted or is it still kind of early in the game and maybe I can stop? and how long can my withdrawls last at this point after 2.5-3 months of doing it? I dont know what to do, I don't want to keep doing methadone, I just wish I could be clean, but I also just cant seem to stop because when I read that it can take up to 6 weeks maaaan I dont know if I can go through that ever again without going crazy, I'm really hoping that It hasnt been long enough yet and I can just stop, I'm willing to go through it but not if it takes 1.5 months thats too much, I appreciate any and all of help and answers, thank you!!

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    Old 01-29-2008, 01:11 PM   #2
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    hey bkt

    welcome, your story is so similar to mine in a lot ways (well like mine when i was younger!) i have been messing round with heroin for nearly 20 years (i had a period of 10 years clean tho). I have also taken meth from friends aswell as subutex and morphine,palfium etc. its near on impossible to reduce by yourself. the best thing would be to seek medical help/support - get on a program and taper down - get clean that way- you'll have the help and support you need then. on your own IS possible - just you have the odds stacked against you for relapse. you're on roughly 25ml a day - i hate to break the news to you but - you HAVE got a habit. if you go cold turkey from this ammount then you're going to feel pretty bad. cold turkey from meth is 10 times worse than heroin im sorry to say. it also takes a few days for the turkey to really kick in as its synthetic. you'll need to taper right down before you go for it. then be expected to feel rough for about a month - not too rough - just rough enough.

    The important thing is - YOU CAN DO IT. it is possible.

    i would advise getting some help with it tho.

    if you decide to taper on your own then may i suggest working out a gradual taper and sticking to it with dedication/determination. dont underestimate the power of meth - if used properly it can help - if abused - its far worse than H.

    keep us posted as to how you're doing mate.

    take care


    keep on keepin on

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    Old 02-01-2008, 09:40 AM   #3
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    Thank you for the reply Yoss, I appreciate it. Just wanted to come back here since I haven't been in a few days and give an update on my situation. So this is now day 4 for me without any methadone, since I have such a strong mind and will I once again opted to once again clean myself up for good this time, also really wanted to see how badly addicted I was to the done, and apparently just like it's written everywhere online day 3 is going to feel the worst and thats sure as hell true yesterday I felt the worst, but the thing is everyone says that when your addicted to methadone its so much worse then heroin and I'm glad to say that for me right now with how much I've done THANK GOD thats not true yet, If I really felt worse then heroin right now I wouldn't know what the hell to do, my main problem right now is I don't have medical here in Maryland yet and there is nothing I can do besides join a clinic that I can pay for myself with $70 a week, and they don't even give you anything for 3 weeks after your evaluation so whats the point to do something that stupid when I'm not that bad off and within 3 weeks I'm going to be perfectly fine and hopefully(prayer) never look to methadone again. I don't feel good by any means, I just know that with the way everyone who has done it for a long time describes it I definitely am not at that stage yet of being so bad its worse then heroin, actually my main withdraw symptom is the cold/hot feeling in my body, other then that there is not much, I can even sleep at night which is very surprising to me. The first two nights I didn't get very much sleep but nonetheless it wasn't bad to the point that it was getting off heroin at all not even close, last night on my supposed worst day off done I slept the best out of the last few days, weird it seems but good for me and I'm so glad this is happening, I'm actually getting about 6-7 hours of sleep right now and I don't even have a big problem falling asleep, this is not bad sleep either, this is mostly normal(as much as its possible right now)uninterrupted sleep, this is all happening without any meds or sleeping pills. So to end my long update, as for right now I'm not feeling too good, but I'm also not feeling very bad, its just bad enough, but if it continues like this I know I can do this by myself one more time.

    Thank you for any and all of your support on here and I ask you guys to please give me some more support and tell me what you think so I can tame the beast and take my life back from the grip of the devil once again. My prayers are with any and all that are in this kind of struggle, and hopefully some of your prayers can be with me to help me through this, I'm going to give more updates as I continue my battle.

    Be easy and to everyone struggling, you can do it!
    I just want to say, everyone who is doing good with the struggle and believes in themselves you are truly blessed and we all can do it!

    Old 02-01-2008, 10:55 AM   #4
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    That's great BK....good for you for taking the iniative to do this - it is SO worth it when you're done. You're at the worst stage now - you'll be 'over the hump' soon....real soon. Maybe ou can hit the Sub website and see if you can't get a sub doc to help you out with this - I'm quite positive there's a ton of the down there where you are.

    Keep us up to date brother....I know I speak for everyone when I say we're all rootin' for ya 100%!


    Old 02-01-2008, 11:26 AM   #5
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    bktob, thanks for your reply on my post..i wish you a ton of luck and i hope your strong mind can get you thru it. please try to stay away from methadone that you are buying on the street or from a friend..if you cant do without it , try different dont have to wait 3 weeks everywhere..pick up the phone and make calls. Once again, good luck..

    Old 02-03-2008, 08:44 AM   #6
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    I was very inspired by your posts bk.
    being you were addicted so long to heroin and did the detox cold turkey, (yikes!) I look up to you for doing it yourself and you're alot stronger than you might know. I know the detox feelings too, I tried to do it myself 8 yrs ago while working a full time job, and I felt like i was going to die.

    I went thru the ER of a hospt. to get help, they admitted me, gave me med's to get stablized and a social worker got me into a clinic. It will be 9 years this coming Fall that I've been there and it's saved my life.
    one either works WITH the program, or AGAINST the program.
    I worked diligently to get my life back together.
    there is a big difference in being addicted to a drug and being dependent on a drug. alot of people don't believe this theory but I personally do.
    alot of people in recovery have this idea that being on methadone is just as bad as doing heroin. they say you only trade one drug for another.
    but in my case, this simply is not true. I don't put myself in places where the drug is, I don't hang out with people who do drugs, I stay away from it as far as possible. even if I wanted to get high, the methadone blocks the effects of the heroin so it would be a waste of money and time not to mention how horrible I"d feel that I failed myself and others and the waste of years I worked the program.
    I went from starting at 90 mgs upon start date and went down to 5 mgs a half a year or more ago and then I went back up after taking a pain pill from my sister than set my body off into a detox. the program tells you you're not supposed to take certain medications beause it will interfer with the methadone and the methadone won't work, therefore setting your body off into a detox stage.
    boy did that day bring back the horrible feelings and memories of what detoxing was like. I did NOT want to go thru it so I went and asked to be put back up slightly.
    I will one day come off the methdone when I'm ready mentally to go thru the detox. I went down ever so slowly and it was by going down in 5 mg. dosages every 3 months or longer. this way you only feel yucky on the 3rd day of going down. It really effected my job the days I'd go down because it effected my mood swings which I already suffer because of having bipolar.

    my counselar told me the methadone helped stablize my mental illness too besides helping the addiction because it does something to the brain. I was in denial of having bipolar and I found out the methadone helped calm down my mood swings. my counselor told me it does do this. so I wasnt' just imagining it. I wasn't seeing a psychiatrist or therapist to get on any medicine because I refused it. I disliked all forms of therapy and medications to treat mental illness.

    it took me years before I finally took my counselors advice and get help. I"m so greatful I did and wish I hadn't waited so long. I'm stubborn and do only what I want at the time. unfortunalty that type of living only destroyed any form of happiness i could've had at the time.
    I am not much happier now than I can ever recall.
    I was addicted to snorting heroin for about a year and a half. first I only did it on weekends, then stopped. then I met up with the person who turned me on to it and I began to do it again. then it got hold of me and before I knew it I needed it every day to keep me from going thru the withdrawals.
    I never in my life thought i"d ever do heroin. I thought by just snorting it, it wouldn't get me addicted. How naive and stupid I was.
    a drug is a drug no matter how you put it in your body.
    thankfullly I was never arrested or died of an overdose like I came so close to doing one night. I woke up not knowing where i was and what happened after doing it. I had passed out. I guess it wasn't my time to die because I woke up hours later.
    After that episode, I got on the methadone program.
    if you feel you can do it on your own without having to get help and be part of a program to keep you on the straight and narrow, than by all means, keep doing what you're doing so you don't have to go thru hell from detoxing off of methadone if you've been on it for many years rather than just the few months you've been on it.

    here are some helpful suggestions if you need some help thru the course of your detox. your positive atttitude mainly contributes to how well you will do on your own for detoxing. it's all in the mind. we can make it worst or make it easier on ourselves by understanding what the body and mind is going thru.
    just remember the uncomfortablness goes away and will not remain forever.
    it's the minds fear of being uncomfortable that keeps us from enduring what ever we have to go thru to reach the end.

    here are some tips when detoxing at home:

    ~ Rest as much as possible. Even if you can only sit down for a few minutes here and there.

    ~Immodium for diarrhea. Eat bland food and stay off dairy until your tummy settles down.

    ~Antacids-they seemed to take the edge off the burning in the stomach.

    ~Cheerios-munching on them helps to ease the queasiness.

    ~Heating pads-helped with the aching joints and muscle spasms. Feels really good to lay one of those heated grain bags on tummy.

    ~Ice packs-use on the back of the neck for headaches.

    ~Ibuprophen-used for pain. Take with food and only if tummy can handle it. Be cautious of Tylenol if you took meds with it in it to excess.

    ~sunglasses/hat-for light sensitivity which can trigger migraines. Lightly tinted glasses for the house. Reduce glare anywhere you can.

    ~ear plugs-for noise sensitivity and to help sleep at night.

    ~music-soft, happy music for distraction.

    ~ stay away from negative media or negative news papers or radio. try to read and see movies that are enlightening and happy.

    ~positive friends/family- tell your close ones what you'll be going thru so they support you.

    ~limited outings- drive as little as possible and avoid crowds.

    ~beta blocker-to reduce high blood pressure if you have it.

    ~calcium/magnesium supplement-for calming the nerves a bit.

    ~blankets and pillows- have them on the couch and bed,ready for moments when you can crash for a few minutes. flannel is especially soothing.

    ~tea-hot tea w/out caffiene helps soothe.

    ~water,water-drink enough water and soak in a warm bath or linger under a shower. helps with the achiness.

    ~sunlight-if eyes aren't too sensitive, go outside and let the sun get on your skin for a while-it helps the moods.

    ~anti-depressant-helps more than you realize at the moment.

    ~gardening-once strong enough, gardening and working with mother nature can be another way to calm and uplift the spirit.

    ~ noise reduction- reduce as much irritating noise when possible. keep noise at moderate levels if possible in order not to irritate you.

    ~relaxing the standards- learn to not mind messiness for awhile in the home.It's ok to let the house go and it's ok to just be in our pj's and not feel guilty if we aren't bathed and dressed by a certain hour. it's ok to just relax and let things go for awhile.

    ~aromatherapy- sleep with a little bag of lavander seeds by your bedside or pillow. For a while your sense of smell can be acute that many odors will seem nauseating to you.

    ~cotton-cotton sheets, blankets, clothes and sleep wear, help during the sweats. Use Baby wipes for freshening up quickly. think about how the sweating period represents the body's way of purging toxins and how each night and day brings you closer to having your body totally cleansed of impurities.

    I wish you all the best on your detoxing and I will be mine too soon.



    Old 02-03-2008, 01:35 PM   #7
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    BK thank you so much for your post on my thread lets do this together your positivness is infectious. You are my hero keep up the great work your a stud. They tell us not to put people on pedestal cuz they fall down, but, I just wanted to thank you for being positive and teaching me to be positive and knowing that no matter how many times we fall we need to get up no matter how shameful we feel (ok thats me). Were back and were winners. I am sending prayers to u right now.

    Thank you,

    Old 02-13-2008, 12:01 PM   #8
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    Thank you to all of you for your support and your replies, I know I haven't been on here much but thats only because I've been really trying to keep myself busy to keep my mind off things which is the other reason I haven't been here much.

    Linda: I hear ya, I've been through all of it at this point, and god is it bad especially when you have a full time job and you have to be there, thats about the worst thing that can happen while you're detoxing, it really does feel like you are going to die, but I'm glad you found your way out with the program and thats right there is nothing wrong with it thats your way out so be it, god bless anyone who's doing better then they were. Thank you for your support and help, I really do appreciate it and my prayers are with you likewise as yours are with me.

    Lori: Your welcome, thank you for those kind words you have no idea what it feels like and what it means to me to have someone, really anyone say to me that I inspired them in any way, that my positiveness is infections, and especially that I can be someones hero, thank you! Hey I've been up and down the road for 7 years now and I have burned every bridge and collapsed every tunnel I've ever had, this includes my loved ones, my family and friends. But you know there is always room to build again and start over like you said no matter how many times you fall you always have at least a chance to get up and go again. Shame isn't an issue at this point, it was in the past, at this point everyone knows why it happened and nobody cares anymore about how I'm going to make it better so its literally all up to me without any support from my close ones, thats why when people like you that are on the same road in the same lane as me give me support it means more then you can imagine. So once again, thank you and I know we're going to be good, my prayers are always with you too!

    Day 15 off methadone, luckily like I predicted I wasn't that bad off, because if I really felt worse then heroin w/d I would not be able to take it this time, again. So thank god thats not the case, I certainly can't say I feel good, but I don't feel very bad its just bad enough, 2 weeks in now so I'm finally getting more sleep (like 5-7 hours a night) the hot/cold sweats are going away slowly with every day that goes by, and every day I feel better, so now my main goal is to keep my thoughts off negative things and keep myself in check, keep busy, I've been working, going to the ymca to work out a lot, work out at my house when I wake up every day to get all that "crap" out of my body. Right now I can do it, one minute at a time and one day at a time, its not even the physical thats so bad I can live with this for a few more weeks I know how to hurt, but the mental is the hardest, its hard for me to just keep my thoughts from getting to the point when I find myself saying "you know how good I would feel right now if I had a spoonful of done" but I can't do that to myself, especially not after going through this for 2 weeks in, so thats the only thing thats keeping me afloat is myself, thats why all your guys support matters so much to me, keep me posted on how all of you guys are doing and I will do the same, I will try to come on here more often too.

    Old 02-16-2008, 08:32 AM   #9
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    glad to hear you're doing good bk. better than you thought actually, right?

    the mind has a habit of making it worst for us than it actually is when it comes time to actually doing the very thing we fear. because the mind for such a small organ that is, does cause big problems for us. it does for me.

    It's good to hear words from an inspiring person as yourself bk.
    you are doing this all on your own without the support of your family, because you also realize it's not anyone else that can help you directly, but yourself.
    it's you that has the power to do it. not them, and you realize this thank God.

    THAT my friend is an accomplishment!

    I hope that things are still going well for you and as quick as a thought comes into the mind, just throw it out as fast as it comes in.
    that's what I do when I want a cigarette but know I've gone to the point that I don't want to throw away the days I've worked to get where I am.

    I wish you peace,


    Old 02-25-2008, 03:11 PM   #10
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    Question Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help


    Old 02-26-2008, 08:09 AM   #11
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    It is good to see you are not abusing drugs anymore. but now you have to deal with another problem, the problem is coming off the methadone.
    do you have a drug counselor at the clinic you go to?
    do you go to a clinic?
    if so, speak with them and have them decrease your level ever so slowly so you don't feel the withdrawals. it will be very uncomfortable and even dangerous to do it all on your own from having so many mgs. down to "0".
    Of course this will cause horrible detox symptoms.
    do it in increments of 5mg till you get down to 5 mg. then go off it.

    admit and accept it that for a month or more your sleep pattern will be disturbed. it's part of being on methadone. but it's a medicine the way we were taking it. we are not abusing methadone.
    my neice who was always complaining of an upset stomach when she'd some to visit from mass. to NY. would always complain. I just thought she was being a grouchy young teen.
    come to find out, she had major dysfunction in her pancrease. it ran in fathers' side of the family. her's was all disformed. anyway,, they put her on morphine.
    I remember seeing this huge bottle of morphine syrup she brought with her to visit us. I thought, my god, she's going to get addicted to the medication. I discussed it with my sister and she said they already know this is going to happen to her and will set her up for a program in a hospital to detox off of the opiate when she gets off of it.
    she wound up getting off of it eventually and put her on something else.

    I was told by my dr when I get off the methadone, she will prescribe something to help calm me down and take off the edge. clonapine or something like that. the thing is, that medication also has it's risk of becoming dependent on.
    so it's a domino effect with all these types of drugs.
    it goes with the territory.
    you have to find someone who will help you get thru the detox when you decide to do it. talk to your dr, get over the counter med's to help with the diharea and the chills, etc.

    I wish you the best. I'm not looking forward either to the day I finally come off it. and the more I hear it's horrible, the worst I make it for myself in my mind. if we go in with a positive strong out look, I believe we have to admit it is uncomfortable and just go along with it till it's over.


    Old 03-27-2008, 03:24 PM   #12
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help


    First of all i'd like to commend you for stopping the heroin and pain pill abuse. Heroin in itself is such a big improvement. I've been dating my b/f for the past year, he went through the same thing.. heroin addiction/pain pills. Cold turkey is never a good thing, withdrawls are certaintly not a pretty site. In the process of getting off heroin, he starting taking methadone...he's been on it for atleast a year now. Seems like a lifetime to me. It is indeed true that once you start taking methadone, with a constant dosage each day.. it only takes a month to get addicted to this substance. Don't hold me to that though it is different with everyone. Or see your nearest doctor for more help. I hope that you get clean.. it will improve your life immensely. Have a good night.


    Last edited by moderator2; 03-27-2008 at 04:51 PM. Reason: to delete the huge long quote and the commercial website - please use the quick reply button instead

    Old 04-07-2008, 09:27 AM   #13
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    Question What to do...

    I kicked 95mg's of methadone cold turkey in Jan. I haven't been the same since... For the past 2 months, I have been dipping into my husband's methadone... A swig here and there, (like 2 times a week)... I get asymptomatic, and I take some of his percocet to help me sleep, and this is like a vicious circle. I still don't feel right from the first kick.... Please give me some advice, SOMEBODY......


    ps talk to me.

    Old 04-10-2008, 10:38 AM   #14
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    Re: Trying to be clean,now I have a problem with methadone and I need help

    If you are taking one full teaspoon of methadone then you are actually taking 50mg a day which isnt gonna be easy at all to come off of...Methadone from the clinics in the US us a formula of 10mg of methadone in each ML which a teaspoon has 5mls...I havent finished reading ur post I just wanted to comment really quick on your dosage...Good luck

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