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-   -   I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit! (https://www.healthboards.com/boards/addiction-recovery/581559-i-need-advice-some-support-tapering-off-huge-habit.html)

lisaaahubb 02-22-2008 04:31 AM

I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
Hi all,
I am in no way new to this or this board, just haven't been around in like years.....

Heres my story, i will try to make it as brief as possible and ALL feedback is welcome....
I am a 39 yr old stay at home mom of 4....ages 19, 18, 16, and 6
I have been on opiates/pillz for the last 6 years.
This past year my use SOARED to needing 20+ pillz a day, with some oxycontin snorted and occasionally some lines of Heroin

Well **** hit the fan, my husband was injured at work and i got "caught" taking HIS pills to prevent the infamous sickness. I fessed up although he knew of my addiction, but i told the 100% truth for a change.

2 Sundays ago i started a very rapid taper....i went from 200+mg of oxycodone down to 8 a day, then down to where i am now which is 5-10mg a day. I AM STILL feeling sick. When is this **** gonna stable out? I keep so hopeful that everyday i'm NOT gonna have anxiety, NOT gonna cry and NOT gonna have the runs. BUT everyday now , with this week being the most mentally challenging.

How long does it take to level out? A couple of days i begged my hubby to give me a extra, so maybe that is why. I am just staying at 5 a day, as my prescribed amount is 4 a day. He is holding my whole script of 120 10mg/325 percocets. This is a total mind-f*ck excuse my language, cuz usually when i have my refill, i have 6-7 GOOD days of being blasted, but then the madness of acquiring more begins.

I know i have just put my body thru ALOT, and i have the "jones" if anyone is familiar with what that is...CRAVINGS to get HIGH.

I DO find i am doing more around the home than i have in years.....MUSIC helps me tremendously i have it blaring at 8 in the morning.

How long should i stay on this dose and how much should i drop again.
My goal is to get to 3 a day and have my hubby hold on to them for life.
I have Rhuematoid Arthritis, and have disc problems in my back from 3 car accidents and a motorcycle accident when i was in my late teens.

I really expected to have no physical symptoms left by now. But the jumping around, and the HUGE drop off may be the problem.

ANY AND ALL replies needed....my husband is really being a jerk to me know. He goes out of his way to leave me locked up in this house all day. Comes home waaaaaaaaayyyy too late and doesn't want to hear it when he walks in. He can actually ADD to my anxiety in a big way, but he holds the meds so he is in control which he LOVES. He is already outta patience with me, and im only 10 days or so into this.

Well anyways, i'm not here for advice about him, i need to get LISA better, then i will tackle all my other problems.
I know i did a HUGE drop in my dosage, i've been using my xanax at night for sleep, immodium liquid form---ALOT of it, especially in the morning! and advil for PAIN, although i've found my pills are actually working on my pain now :)

Well thanks in advance, maybe i need a taper schedule, i don't know what to do from here, and i sure as hell am not leveled off yet.
Thanks so much guys!
LISA

oh-notagain 02-22-2008 05:05 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
Lisa,

You are coming off of a pretty big habit. You've just got to give it time. I know that sounds lame, but it's true. Your taper was very rapid. Having to deal with this all alone except for a husband who sounds like he is not being very supportive certainly doesnt help you much at all. You have to remember that if he hasnt gone through this himself, he just doesnt understand what you'r going through! I honestly suggest that you get yourself to a couple of NA or AA meetings. At least there you will be among people who understand completely what you are going through right now. And getting out will do you good and help your symptoms. I promise. If you dont have any way of getting there, you can look up the Narcotics anonymous central office or AA central office phone number in your phone book and i assure you they will find a way for you to get to a meeting. And if you have children (i forget if you said you did) there are a lot of meetings with babysitting. Im not trying to push AA or NA on you, you may not even like it, but at least for now it would be good for you to have people surround you who understand. Not that WE dont !!! But its not the same as real live people, you know? And post here, and post often ! Let it all out; all the frustration and all the anxiety. That'll help too. We are here, all the time. I think you already know that !!! :)

There's someone else on here who just went through a rapid taper like you, im sure he'll be along soon !!

I wish you well. I look forward to hearing from you again !!!

Hugs, Michelle

lisaaahubb 02-22-2008 06:16 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
well actually he does understand to some degree, as he just went thru this only from a much more milder amount..... he used percs and oc for about 9 -12 months from surgeries, then quit cold turkey, but he only had anxiety, trouble sleeping and leg cramps for like 4 days and then felt better. So to some degree, he can NOW relate and has told me that.

I am looking for how long i should stay at 5 a day
days, weeks, months....i need some opinions.
My goal is 3-4 a day, never any more, with him holding my meds and dispercing them probably for eternity.

I gotta try to eat more, i just do so much better when i eat and when he is home with me, but he is a project manager and gets very little time here at home, even at home he is STILL on the phone working...

my daughter just called from Turks & Caicos islands so i will write back after i talk to her

lisaaahubb 02-22-2008 06:47 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
O.K.....i am back, my 18 yr old is on vacation in The Turks & Caicos Islands, she is having a BLAST, but will be home tomorrow, she been there 8 days LUCKY GIRL :cool:

Anyways, my hubby ironically is back on his percs.....he made it about 2 weeks and then the "pain" became unbearable again. I know what is going on with him.....been there done that....thinking it is o.k. cuz you only take a few a day AND the pain IS bad, it was just probably magnified cuz he was still in mild w/d.....maybe i'm totally wrong, but i don't think so.

WELL, i am here for me, but wanted to give you THAT background as well.
I just need some help with a tapering plan, i am a STRONG strong person. If i put my mind to something it happens, this BEAST is just a little different and harder to manage than some of the tragic things i've been thru in my life.
Do-able....YES...but its gonna take all my willpower

So going on week 2 over here, after a MONSTER drop in dosage. Can't even imagine what cold turkey would've been like, i honestly probably would've died.

Still having the runs, which i found liquid immodiium works ALOT better than the stupid pills, although i have no clue how much i take, i just take chugs off the bottle every time the "episodes" in the bathroom begin. This morning it started to rear its ugly head at 2:30, i almost took a pill, but didn't want to be shorted for today, so i chugged immodium and forced myself back to sleep til 6.,..

O.k. i showered and now and gonna do my hair and makeup and do the dishes.....All advice welcome over here

bajaboats 02-22-2008 08:25 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
Hello Lisa Dear!

I am on day 17 CLEAN off a rapid Oxy taper and I feel excellent. I'm riding the pink cloud right now.

I went from Hydro then up-graded to the Oxy. Smart move HUH?
Well you know what happened, I started at 20mg per day OX and soon found myself at 120mg per day. No longer taking it for pain but now because the OX had it's hold on me.
My first cut was down to 40mg per day only one dose. I was hurtin' BAD. I think I did that for 2 or 3 days then went down to 20 for another 2 or 3 days then 10 for another 2 or 3 days. I was on 5mg for 4 days and quit totally. My level days might be a little off, I was hurtin pretty bad.

I just knew from reading here and other sites that the faster I got to zero the sooner I would be back to normal. So that was my goal, ZERO.

Read some of my posts if you get time. I joined in on the board when I was still on 5mg per day so I documented every thought and feeling to all these wonderfull people here and for people like you.

If you feel like your in H*LL remember, there is a road into H*LL and there is also a road out. Find the road, buckle up and keep moving. I looks like your already on the road out by the way.

If you slip and take a dose when your hurtin' it will only prolong the pain you are already in. Another of my friends here on the board told me this. He fell down only once and said he was paying for it with more pain. There is a thread on his experience with a slip up.

Funny thing about my pain problems that got me started on the JUNK.
The pain is gone? Sometimes I have to take an over the counter pain reliever but rarely.

Guess I really didn't need the crap. NO, I KNOW I DON'T NEED THE CRAP.

Anyways, Sorry to ramble on but,
I was down to zero day in roughly two maybe 3 weeks. I would have to count back to be for sure but it was something like that.

After I went to zero I still have pretty bad W/D's for maybe 3-4 days. It started getting better real fast after that.

I forced myself to eat three times a day (even when it came back up), drank tons of water and took lots of suppliments. I didn't get much rest/sleep during the whole process and if you can rest/sleep it will be easier on you.

There is a thread at the top of the board "sample home detox" that makes for some real good readin'

I been doing a lot of praying too..

Hope this helped and keep us posted. By the sound of your posts I don't see you having any problems. Just stick to the cuts and level off times and you will be CLEAN in no time.

I also wanted to add that 20mgs of Hydro is NOT the same as 20mgs of Oxy. BIG DIFFERENCE>>>

Also. Watch out for the xanax. I have it for anxiety under the supervision of my Doc. Low doses and no refills with weekly visits to the office. Xanax is also highly addictive and you don't want to trade one OX on your back for another if you know what I mean. This is what my Doc told me.


Peace.
Baja

spark-o-cet 02-22-2008 02:46 PM

Re: I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
lisa girl where the h*ll have you been for the last 3yrs?sounds like you have been in a fog and haven a good time,but how we must pay to play.not many of us oldtimers around here anymore,but some pop up from time to time.how did you get caught so to speak?what brought all this on?last time i recall you on the board yu were doin pretty good and had been pillfree for awhile or so you said.sayin it and doin it are two very different things when it comes to pill addiction isnt it:Dcant get any nutracleanse anymore,that would help more than anything,wish it was still available.loved that stuff.good luck-spark

lisaaahubb 02-22-2008 03:17 PM

Re: I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
Oh SPARK you and your nutrocleanse LOL

Well, i started chippin' and it led right back to square one, and then some!

I titrated up pretty f**king high, i knew deep down it HAD to at least slow down. Hard to keep up with a monster habit, and lets face it i wasn't gettin high AT all anymore, so might as well taper down.

Tapering was an understatement. I went from 200+mg of oxy a day right down to 8 10 mg percs a day. Then every 3rd day tapered 30% of my dose.

It WASN:T good, i read it somewhere on the net and i'll tell you it wasn't a very comfortable taper at ALL.

So needless to say i am NOW happy with my 5-6 a day and have hubby holding on to them.
I was just diagnosed with RA--Rhuematoid Arthritis too, so i have some MORE pain issues along with the others that got me where i am today.

O.k....SO GOOD TO TALK TO YA....tell me whats up with you. I to lazy to UTFSE, so tell me tell me.

We are in the midst of ANOTHER snow/ice storm and that in itself is HORRIBLE depressing! Winter STINKS!!!!!!

lisaaahubb 02-25-2008 03:42 AM

Re: I NEED ADVICE and some support...tapering off HUGE habit!
 
Still hanging in there, we decided that my comfortable dose for this script will be 6 a day which is a FAR cry from the 200+mg of OC i was chomping down daily.

Hubby is STILL holding all my meds, thank GOD, cuz i am usually always out in like 5 days after filling a percocet script of 120!

We went thru them last night and i have like 2 weeks left still!!!!!! AMAZING that i am actually doing this .... this time.

Lots of pain though.......my back is KILLING me all the time, in the morning, it takes me like an hour before i can stand up straight.,
Well my body has alot of problems, disc problems, Rhuematoid Arthristis, some female problems..................

Eating like crazy, everything tastes so dam good! I am sure my body appreciates all this food

Sleeping well, i actually think i sleep better and sounder NOW than i did 3 weeks ago.....i take xanax at night for sleep and have for the past 6 years, so it isn't as though we just added that in....i think it actually works now for anxiety too!
I know many of you are leary of xanax, but for me personally, i NEED it, and don't abuse it in any way shape or form

I'm almost human again! the family and i are all adjusting quite well to the new "LISA"


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